Guilt's Cost Continued
by KSipesh
Summary: The remainder of Guilt's Cost starting with chapter 137Demon Savior This is because I couldn't seem to get new chapters to show up under the old story nor receive reviews Read Guilt's Cost FIRST!
1. 137 Demon Savior

Hey, don't read this unless you have read Guilt's Cost! So if you haven't, go back to my profile and start there 

Guilt's Cost: Part CXXXVII

Demon Savior

By Kristen Gupton-Williams

Hojo's eyes were wide with horror. The thought that Vincent was actually willing to fling himself into the Mako well seemed unreal. "Mr. Valentine! What are you doing? How can you do this?"

"Fuck you." Vincent's hands slipped free of their metal holds and he kept his eyes tightly closed. He knew he was doing the right thing, even at the cost of his own life. The irony that he had spent the last several years not caring whether he lived or died, only to end up finding happiness and then having to sacrifice himself did not go unnoticed.

Instead of falling freely forward as he expected, Vincent felt a sudden jerk halting his movement. He opened his eyes, wondering what invisible force had stopped his plummet and saw Jaras standing behind him, having a firm grasp with his left hand upon his pack.

Jaras' face was completely devoid of any emotion as he raised his sword with his free hand. He pulled Vincent back further, at the same time slashing his blade downward in front of his father.

Hojo screamed in agony as both of his arms were severed from his body at the elbow. He fell away down into the glowing reactor, eventually being swallowed up by the Mako below.

Vincent watched his long time rival disappear into the depths, then coming to notice that the man's disembodied left hand was still tangled within his pack strap. Vincent narrowed his eyes and pulled the dead arm off of him, reclaiming his wedding ring from it before tossing the appendage after its master.

Jaras just stood there watching as his father slipped the gold band back onto his own artificial finger. He resheathed his weapon and turned away, starting back upward.

Vincent looked on in a moment of shock. Jaras was already some distance away when he was finally able to speak. "Jaras?"

"What?" He didn't even turn to look at Vincent.

"I owe you my life." Vincent started toward him, letting his pack fall to the floor off his aching shoulders.

"I still bear a great debt." Jaras began climbing the stairs again. "Our work is not done."

Just as the others had seen, Vincent noticed that Jaras was completely different. Part of him was deeply hurt to see this, but he also knew in a way that it was the inevitable conclusion. After all, with the return of his memories there was bound to be a change.

Tifa found herself standing before a large glowing blue cylinder. Suspended within the liquid environment amid a tangle of wires and tubes she saw the fetus. She reached out and touched the glass, overwhelmed with emotion. Hojo or not, this was her child in this terrible and fragile state. Clearly it was still too undeveloped to survive on its own and she was overcome with a feeling of helplessness.

Vincent and Jaras entered the room after she had been standing there for a long time. Upon seeing her husband alive and well she ran to him and placed her arms around his waist.

"Oh God, I thought I'd never see you again!" Tifa fought back the tears as she nuzzled into him.

"Me too," Vincent sighed, while stroking her hair. "Are you okay?"

"Yeah." Tifa relaxed a little within his embrace. "Rude let me go, telling me to get up here and stop the Project."

Vincent was a little taken aback by this. "What? Rude is a traitor?"

"It's looking like it, yeah," she replied.

Vincent's eyes scanned the room as he continued to comfort her, soon coming to examine the growth accelerator standing before them. His attention to this was cut short however as someone else entered the room.

Kimo came in, with Porter hanging heavily from his side. Vincent and Tifa were leery at first, until they realized that the Turk that had escorted Porter here was clearly no threat.

"Looks like all of us Turks are." Porter finished, having heard Vincent's last comment. Porter was relieved to see the three others alive and well. He let go of Kimo and held something out to Vincent. "Damnedest thing, we were on our way up and this fucking thing fell out of nowhere, just about hitting me in the head."

Vincent's eyes went wide as he took back possession of his Death Penalty; it's familiar weight feeling quite at home in his hand. In one fluid motion he lifted it and aimed it at the glass cylinder, intending to put an end to Hojo's final attempt to create the perfect being.

Tifa at once grew horrified to see that Vincent was going to kill the child growing within the chamber. She grabbed his arm and attempted to pull it downward but his mechanical body afforded him the strength to hold steady. "Please, Vincent, don't! Don't kill it!"

He didn't dare to make eye contact with her at that moment; for fear that he would lose his resolve. "I can't allow this Project to go on."

She pounded his chest with her fists, tears streaming down her face. "It's my baby! You can't! I swear to God, if you do this, you'll never see me again!"

Vincent's heart was stung, as he knew this wasn't an idle threat. For a few more moments he kept the gun trained on his intended target but when he faltered and glanced down at her tear streaked face, he lowered his weapon. There was no way that he could do something to hurt her like this.

"Thank you." Tifa again threw her arms around him.

Then it happened. There was a terribly loud crescendo of shattering glass and scraping metal. Tifa spun within Vincent's arms to see what she most feared. Behind where the chamber had stood was Jaras. His sword hung in his right hand, the blue fluid from the once present glass chamber still dripping from the blade. Amongst the shards of glass and wires, lay the remains of the fetus severed cleanly in two.

Tifa dropped to her knees, paying no heed to the slippery fluid and broken glass beneath her. She clasped her hands to her mouth and watched as the bisected fetus twitched a few times before dying.

Everyone was dumbstruck at the change of events, and all eyes turned to Jaras.

Tifa looked up at the silver haired man and glared. "Jaras, how could you!"

He slowly resheathed his weapon and narrowed his eyes at her. "After the life I have lived, I wish someone had done me the same favor."

"I hate you!" Tifa screamed while everyone remained frozen in place. "I hate you, Jaras!"

Without any sign of emotion whatsoever, Jaras strode past her through the remains of the accelerator and toward the door. "You do not hate Jaras, Tifa. You hate me, Sephiroth."

Silence fell over the group as they watched Vincent's son stride swiftly through the room. Sephiroth or not, his heart was broken at what he had done, and more so for causing Tifa to detest him. It was no matter for him though; the world was safe from further threat at the hands of Hojo and his creations. He knew now that Sephiroth could be put to peace finally.

Vincent eventually came to Tifa's side as she continued to sit where the fetus lay destroyed. He again placed his arms around her and she burrowed into his chest to cry bitterly. The pain of losing another child, even if it had not been created with the man she loved was ripping her apart.

Hojo struggled to stay afloat in the Mako as long as he could. The Lifestream was penetrating his body, killing all of the Jenova that he had injected himself with over the years. With all of his superhuman abilities ripped away by the Mako he was unable to hold out any longer and he sank beneath the surface. He quickly bled to death from his wounds and his life force was stripped from his body becoming part of the Lifestream.

In life, Hojo had disbelieved in a heaven or hell thinking that all life just merged into the Lifestream to be recycled, but for another rare instance he had been wrong. It was true that he became part of the Lifestream that flowed within the Planet, but there were things that he wasn't aware of.

There are two layers to the Lifestream. The uppermost consists of that energy which gives life to the living, breathing part of the planet. The other is kept at the center of the Planet and makes up the hot molten core. This is where the Lifestream holds that energy which it never again will allow to become part of the living world.

The energy of all those that Hojo had tortured and killed over the years enveloped him, eventually pulling him down to the deepest bowels of the Planet. Although without a body now, he could still plainly feel the molten rock and metal that was the sea in which he swam. Locked away here in this Hell Hojo's spirit would never again be allowed to threaten the Planet or its inhabitants.

Rude continued to hear shots being fired and feared what he would find when he located their source. He struggled to keep up with the gunfight, as it was obvious that the players were moving quickly through the maze of catwalks.

Reno was running out of energy. His lungs burned beyond belief from all the running and the blood that had now soaked the majority of his shirt let him know that the wound he had sustained in his shoulder earlier was no small scratch. Resolving that he couldn't run any further, he crouched in the corner of a small platform and awaited his fate.

Rasta came down the flight of stairs that lead to where Reno was holding out. He aimed at his quarry one last time and smiled. "So, the great Reno is giving up?"

Reno scowled, wishing that the cocky Turk would just end this. "Yeah, the one and only."

"Well this is going to look very good on my record." Rasta was very self-satisfied at the moment. "Very good indeed."

"Oh just fucking do it, okay?" Reno, even with faced with death was impatient.

Rasta pulled back the hammer on his gun and carefully centered his aim for the middle of Reno's head. "Nice to meet you."

Rude finally managed to catch up to the action and shouted, "Rasta, hold your fire!"

Rasta flashed a quick glance at his boss standing on the opposite end of the platform. "Ah, the traitor."

"I have always known that you didn't understand the most important aspect of being a Turk," Rude said while shaking his head slightly.

Rasta cast him another sidelong glance while still maintaining his aim. "And what the fuck is that supposed to mean?"

"It means you do not understand where your loyalties need to be." Rude took a step forward while placing his hand on the gun hanging beneath his coat.

"I am a Turk, my loyalties are to Shin Ra," Rasta said, catching Rude's movement out of the corner of his eye. At once he spun and turned his aim onto his former boss.

"Yes, your loyalties are to Shin Ra, second only to your fellow Turks," Rude said, satisfied that Reno was no longer in Rasta's sights.

"Yeah, nice try old man." Rasta wanted desperately to fire, but something deep inside wouldn't let him kill his long time friend, at least, not yet.

Rude allowed his hand to fall away from his weapon. "Turks look out for one another, both past and present. There is no one else in this world we can rely upon."

Reno remained in place, watching the drama unfolding before him. As he nervously tightened his hands around his Night Staff he remembered something. Just above his boot under his pant leg, he had strapped a small gun for back up. In all of the running and madness he had somehow forgotten this one tiny detail.

"I think this is just one last ditch attempt to try and get me to be a traitor like you and the others and that ain't going to happen," Rasta said, finally building up the nerve to do what he needed to do.

A shot rang out and Rude was stunned not to feel the pain of a bullet ripping through him. Confusion set in as he saw Rasta fall to his side, writhing in pain.

Reno remained in place, still holding his gun as he had when he fired. It had been so rare that he had used this weapon that he was still in a little shock at what he had done. Slowly he got up and made his way to Rasta, Rude also soon coming to his side.

Rude looked down at his former partner in dismay. "I told you, we have to look out for each other, no one else will."

Rasta looked up, obviously in tremendous pain. As he lay dying, he realized his mistake but it was too late for him now. He had been shot through the chest and it only took a few more seconds before he bled out internally.

"Damn shame," Rude sighed, turning his gaze to Reno. "He was a good friend before all this."

Reno reached out and clapped Rude on the back a few times. "Hey man, thanks."

"Think nothing about it," he replied, giving one last glance at the dead man lying before them. "We did what we had to do. I just wish I'd known seven years ago what I know now. I'm really sorry about Elena."

Reno felt his heart wrenched at the mention of her name. "There's nothing that can be done about that now. If you're interested, I'm pretty sure I can get you a job."

Rude grinned at the offer but shook his head. "I'm a Turk, Reno. At least, as far as Shin Ra is concerned. With Hojo dead and this reactor abandoned, no one within the company will really have any idea what happened in here today."

"What are you saying?" Reno asked.

"I'm saying that I hold a really good position within the Turks, and your little group of rebels could really use someone as close to the President as me. Nothing goes on that I don't know about." Rude crossed his arms over his chest.

Reno was a little stunned to hear this. "Are you sure you want to do that? I mean, it's gonna be real dangerous."

"Yeah well, I'm getting old and could use a little excitement in my life." Rude turned from the scene and started up the stairs. "Let's go see what the others are up to."


	2. 138 Onward

Guilt's Cost: Part CXXXVIII

Onward

By Kristen Gupton-Williams

How long exactly it was that Vincent knelt there cradling his emotionally shattered wife in his arms was unknown. He felt the eyes of those gathered in the room glancing at the two of them there during their hushed conversations. What they were talking about he did care, they were not his main concern at the moment. The only thing that mattered to him now was whether or not Tifa was going to be okay.

Eventually, Reno and Rude made their way to the lab. Kimo and Porter were both very happy and relieved to see Rude, and Reno was grateful to find his friends present and accounted for.

Some more time passed before Porter asked the burning and obvious question. "Where's Morris?"

Reno dropped his gaze to the floor and kicked at a stray piece of glass. "He didn't make it."

Tifa lifted her head from Vincent's chest at the news. No longer able to cry, she simply whispered, "Oh, poor Morris…"

Needing to move the subject along, Reno became thoughtful. "Speaking of MIA's, where's Jaras?"

Vincent sighed deeply as he and Tifa finally managed to their feet. "He left."

"And what all has happened here?" Reno asked, motioning around the room.

"There was a growth accelerator in here, containing Hojo's last attempt at the Neo-Jenova Project but Jaras destroyed it." Vincent shook his head slightly, knowing that his son had simply done what had to be finished.

"Okay." Reno accepted this answer, having only one other question. "Where's Hojo?"

All present turned their attention to Vincent at this point, as he was the only one that knew. "He's dead. I was struggling with him and just when I was about to fall off the catwalk with Hojo hanging from me, Jaras showed up and managed to pull me to safety while Hojo fell down into the well."

Vincent's simplified explanation seemed to appease everyone. Truth be told no one had the energy left to question for more details.

Tifa had gathered herself somewhat and she looked to her husband. "Shouldn't we go?"

He nodded in response. "Yes, we should."

Rude cleared his throat. "The quickest way out is up the last flight of stairs at the end of the corridor. That will lead you to a helicopter landing pad, since I can only assume that's how you all managed to get onto the Plate in the first place."

"And what about you and Kimo?" Porter asked, limping severely to his former boss's side.

"I plan on keeping my job and maybe doing a little spying for you guys." Rude gave an uncharacteristically large smile. "Hopefully, Kimo will do the same."

"Whatever you want." Kimo replied.

Vincent went over and extended a hand to Rude. "I can't thank you enough. I may not know all that went on today, but I'm sure this would have turned out a lot differently if you hadn't done what you did."

Rude nodded. "No problem, thanks. Like I said to someone else today, us Turks have to look out for each other, past and present."

Little more was said as the remaining ASRIO agents headed out to the landing pad. Jaras was no where to be found and Vincent knew that even if he went to search for him at this point it would be fruitless. If Jaras was anything like his father then when he wanted to be alone, no one could find him.

Once outside, Vincent took a headset from Porter and put it on, his own having been lost in the fight with Hojo. "Tseng?"

After a few moments, the radio cracked to life. "Tsuvati?"

Vincent smiled widely at the sound of his true name. "Mind getting us out of here? It stinks."

Tseng's relief at hearing his brother's voice was transmitted through the radio. "We're on our way. What's the status of the mission?"

"Mission was a success." Vincent lowered his voice slightly. "We lost Morris."

Tseng was silent for a moment. "Morris… God damn it. Everyone else is all right?"

At that moment, Vincent was startled by the sound of the door out of the lab being thrown open. He spun and along with the others was surprised to find Jaras standing there.

"Everyone else is fine." Vincent finally responded, relieved that his son had returned.

"Okay, we will be there shortly. Tseng out."

Vincent pulled the headset off and handed it back to Porter before striding over to his son. "Are you okay?"

Jaras had lost the cold and vacant look that had been in his eyes earlier. In its place was an expression of overwhelming exhaustion and sadness. He dropped his gaze to the side and sighed. "I don't know…"

"Jaras, look at me." Vincent ordered.

He did as his father demanded after a few moments of hesitation.

"You did what you had to do and no one will hold that against you." Vincent reached out and placed a hand on his shoulder.

"Tifa… she hates me now." Tears brimmed within his eyes. "Everything I did in there, it was like I had no control over any of it. Like something was driving me… Once I got a little ways away from that room where the rest of you were, whatever it was left me."

"Tifa doesn't hate you, Jaras." His tone was firm but sympathetic. "She hates what had to happen but not you. That Project had to be ended and if you hadn't done it someone else would have."

"You couldn't do it." Jaras found it impossible to hold back the tears any longer.

Vincent was silent for a moment, as Jaras had him on this one. "It doesn't matter anymore; it's over."

"I hope so." Jaras reached down and untied his sword from his belt. He then held it out with a shaking hand to his father. "I don't want this anymore."

Vincent accepted the weapon. "Understood. I'll have it taken care of."

"Thanks." Jaras took a step back. "I think Tifa needs you right now."

"Okay." Vincent turned from his son and made his way back to Tifa's side. He found her still trembling with emotion. "Tifa, are you going to be okay?"

She put her arms around his middle and looked toward the slowly brightening horizon. "I'm just going to have to accept what has been dealt to me."

What exactly that meant Vincent wasn't sure he wanted to know. Maybe it was her belief that she wasn't meant to be a mother or perhaps something else. Whatever it was, Vincent could clearly see the pain within her and hoped that somehow she would recover from this as she had all the other tremendous blows she had been dealt in her life. 

The morning sun finally broke silhouetting the helicopter as it came into view. Vincent continued to hold Tifa tightly as they awaited their ride home. The others present all stood in silence with their thoughts. Reno was unusually quite, reliving the moment of Morris' death. With someone dying in his presence during two of the last three missions he was seriously questioning what he could have done differently. There was also a serious lessening in his self-confidence and arrogance. He would have to give considerable thought to what he planned on doing within the organization from now on. Maybe fieldwork wasn't his specialty anymore.

The helicopter landed and the door slid open. Angel flew out and ran straight to her husband, throwing herself into his arms in relief over his safe return. Reno's deep mirement of thought melted away as he swept her up in his arms, his mouth eagerly meeting hers.

Vincent led Tifa to the chopper where they met Tseng. He extended a hand and helped Tifa step up. He could see the strain on her face and he led her to a seat and sat next to her, Vincent coming to rest on her other side.

Tseng took one of her hands into his own and spoke softly to her. "Tifa, what's wrong?"

"He had started the Project as suspected." Tifa used her other hand to push a few strands of hair behind her ear. "I just didn't think that it would be so hard…"

Seeing that she was no longer in a state to talk he turned to his brother. "What happened?"

"The growth accelerator had a fetus growing inside it." Vincent placed his arm around Tifa's shoulders. "I was going to destroy it but I ended up not doing so. Then Jaras did."

"I see." Tseng pointed to the sword in Vincent's free hand. "Why do you have that?"

"He said he doesn't want it anymore." Vincent looked down at the weapon in his hand for a moment. "Truth be told I don't think he would ever be able to use it again anyway. This might sound a little crazy but I think by the success of this mission somehow Sephiroth's demons have been excised."

Reno and Angel boarded the helicopter and fell into a heap on the seats opposite Vincent and the others. They were far too preoccupied with one another to pay any heed to those around them. Shortly thereafter, Jaras helped Porter onboard and they also took up their seats. Jaras removed his pack and set it on the floor before him. He opened it and fished around its contents for a moment before coming up with a band to tie his hair back. Once that was done, he preformed another brief search until he came up with his glasses and book.

With everyone onboard, Brad fired the helicopter's engines back up and lifted the machine back into the sky. Vincent gave one more glance out the window at Midgar as they flew away, somehow knowing that it would be the last time he ever saw the top of the Plate.

Tifa came to rest her head on Vincent's shoulder. "I can't believe it's over."

Vincent pulled her closer and rested his cheek against her hair. "It is. Hojo's gone, this time forever. Now we can get on with our lives."

Another wave of sadness washed over her and her voice trembled. "I hope so."

Vincent knew that over the drone of the chopper no one could her what they were saying to one another. "Tifa, I know you want a child. I also know that is something that I cannot give you. If you need to find someone else who can make your dreams come true I will completely understand."

"No, Vincent." She moved so she could look him in the eye. "If I wasn't meant to be a mother, then so be it. I'm not going to give you up when you are the only thing in this world that does make me happy."

He smiled faintly at her words but knew that her heart still ached for a child. Vincent did have a question for her still. "Jaras… I know it really hurt you what he did back there, but he has a perspective on this whole situation that none of us could really appreciate. This isn't really any of my business, or maybe it is, but if you could forgive him I think it would help him a lot."

Tifa tilted her head to the side. "Oh Vincent, I don't hate him, if that's what you're asking. As hurt as I am, I know that what he did… I know it had to be done. It's not like we could have taken it with us at the developmental stage it was at. It would have died either way."

"We both know that Jaras cares for you an awful lot, as much as I hate to say it, he is still in love with you." Vincent brushed her cheek with his hand. "He wouldn't do anything that you protested unless he saw it absolutely vital."

"I know." Tifa closed her eyes and rested her head on his shoulder once more. "I'll talk to him when we get home but right now all I want to do is sleep."


	3. 139 Welcome Home

Guilt's Cost: Part CXXXIX

Welcome Home

By Kristen Gupton-Williams

With Tifa nuzzled into his side asleep, Vincent lazily looked around at the others in the chopper as his own tiredness set in. Jaras was apparently immersed in his book as usual, his eyes moving over the pages occasionally narrowing in his concentration. How he could have been Sephiroth either seven years ago or a few hours ago Vincent did not know. Clearly the man he was observing now was not a threat to anyone and he wondered what would become of his son.

After a long time Jaras pulled his glasses off and rubbed the bridge of his nose. He felt his father's gaze burning upon him and he looked up. The sight of Vincent sitting there with the woman he loved stabbed at something deep with him. He hoped that he could get over his feelings for his stepmother before they drove him mad. Finally he managed a polite smile back at Vincent before turning his attention out the window for the remainder of the ride.

In the meanwhile, Vincent saw that Angel and Reno were still engrossed in one another as they sat together near the door of the chopper. If Vincent didn't know better, he would have thought that he saw the slightest hints of tears in Reno's eyes. The truth was Reno _was _crying as he related the tale of Morris' death to his wife. His pent up emotions over the recent deaths of two of his associates were pouring out and it was becoming clear to Angel that Reno was most likely finished as far as going on missions. There was a good chance that Reno was going to be taking a more administrative position within the organization after today.

Porter was sitting in an odd and uncomfortable looking position as he tried to relieve the stress on his injured hip. All of the stair climbing that he had done today was going to set him back a long way in his recovery and although he didn't know it now, he would need yet another surgery to re-secure various steel plates to his bones that had worked loose today. Porter would have a limp for the rest of his life but would not care. With Hojo gone and Rayna alive and well, everything else seemed unimportant.

Tseng sat typing quietly on the new laptop computer that he had acquired after destroying his last one during his emotional outburst following Zale's death. What he was preparing was a statement to be released through various ASRIO sources regarding the final termination of the Neo-Jenova Project and the demise of Professor Hojo.

***

When the helicopter finally arrived back home in Costa del Sol the afternoon sun was in the air and they all filed out slowly, stretching in their exhaustion and stiffness. Without much said, they went down into the base, each making their ways to their respective rooms. There would be a debriefing about the mission but Tseng knew that everyone needed to rest now and so let them go.

Tifa and Vincent went to their room and locked the door. After stripping, Tifa went into the bathroom and started a shower. Vincent sat on the edge of the bed and for lack of a better description; he proceeded to space out for several minutes. Although he was extraordinarily tired, his mind was still trying to cope with all that had just happened.

Tifa emerged after a while; her still damp towel dried hair hanging loosely about her shoulders. "Ahem…"

Vincent snapped out of his reverie and looked up to see his wife standing before him unclothed. He smiled faintly. "Hey."

"Hey yourself." She took a few steps closer. "I don't know about you but I really need to get into that bed right now and I have no plans of getting out of it until very late tomorrow morning. Care to join me?"

Vincent raised his eyebrows and sighed. "That sounds pretty good."

"Alright then." Tifa brushed past him and pulled down the corner of the comforter on her side of the bed. "Get out of those horrible dirty clothes and get in here."

He sighed and then reluctantly got up. The thought of having to expose his artificial body again didn't appeal to him in the least but he was too tired to give much credence to it. After all his clothing was discarded in a pile on the carpet he slid beneath the sheets, took Tifa in his arms and fell mercifully to sleep.

***

Tseng went to his own room and landed on his couch. He was suffering from a splitting headache due in part from exhaustion and closed his eyes as he tried to suppress the pain. After getting only a few moments of peace a knock came at his door and Tseng grimaced. "Yes? Come in."

The door opened and Tseng was only slightly surprised to see Vincent's son. "Jaras, what can I do for you?"

He came over and sat next to his uncle on the bed. The weariness on his features spoke volumes. "I want to go home."

"To Mideel?" Tseng clarified, knowing the answer.

"Yes." He stared down at his hands folded in his lap. "I don't want to be here any longer. Whatever it was that came over me in that reactor… it scared the Hell out of me. I think if I go home, maybe I can try and get back the life I had there before all this happened."

Tseng at once grew concerned. "But what if Shin Ra comes looking for you? Someday, Jaras, someone is going to come along that will recognize you for who you are."

"No, for who I _was_." He sighed deeply. "Even at the risk of Shin Ra finding me and putting my life in danger, I want to go home. Surely no one expects me to spend the rest of my days locked down here in this base."

Tseng knitted his brows. "No, I guess I don't expect you to hide down here forever. As long as you know that someday they may find you and you are willing to face that, I guess I have no choice but to honor your wishes. I will have my airship take you home tomorrow."

Jaras smiled weakly. "Thank you."

"But let me ask you this." Tseng said, turning to face his nephew a little more. "Do you wish to cut your ties with your father and I or will you allow us the privilege of visiting you?"

Jaras looked at Tseng as though he had just said the stupidest thing he had ever heard. "Of course not. How can I cut my family out of my life? That's not my goal. My goal is to go back to doing that which made me happy and that was running my bookstore. Maybe it isn't as glamorous as being a ASRIO agent but quite frankly, I think I've had all the excitement I can take in my life."

"Understood." Tseng smiled. "Are you going to speak with Vincent before you go?"

"Yes." Jaras nodded. "I owe him a lot and couldn't leave without saying goodbye to him… and Tifa."

***

Porter managed to his room despite the pain he was in. During the helicopter ride his hip and leg had started to stiffen up and although he knew he should be going to see the Doctor he felt he needed to see Rayna first.

Rayna was sitting inside the room in a chair before the television, trying to provide some diversion for herself as her stress was ripping her apart.

D, who had been sleeping on the bed suddenly perked to attention and got up. He went over before the door and stood, wagging the remnants of his tail. Rayna turned and gave him a curious look. "What's out there?"

Just a few seconds later the door opened, revealing Porter in his worn and pained state. "Honey, I'm home."

Rayna leapt up from her chair knocking it over. She ran to him and threw her arms around his waist. Porter had to grab onto the door jam to stabilize himself from the impact lest the two of them go tumbling out into the hall.

Tears of joy and relief came to Rayna's eyes. "Oh God, I was so worried about you!"

"I know and I'm sorry." Porter held her tightly; giving only passing notice to his dog as it excitedly ran circles around him. "But it's over now. Hojo is gone."

She was speechless and just held onto him for all she was worth. The nightmares that had plagued her since he had left melted away as the reality of his safe return sank in.


	4. 140 Hope

Guilt's Cost: Part CXL

Hope

By Kristen Gupton-Williams

The next morning came and slowly the survivors from the mission emerged from their respective quarters. As they gathered in the cafeteria of the base there was a strange silence that fell over them. It was as though the experiences of the previous day had been so intense that the energy from each of them had been completely sapped. 

When Vincent and Tifa arrived, they at once spotted Tseng, Jaras, Angel, Reno, Porter, and Rayna sitting together. Ericson was noticeably absent as he had been sent earlier that morning to go track down Morris's remaining family and deliver to them the unfortunate news. Having been the now dead agent's best friend he had readily volunteered for the trip.

They made their way to the table and found their seats. Tseng offered the two of them a polite smile. "Did you rest well?"

"In light of the circumstances, yes." Vincent replied, knowing that his exhaustion was still obvious.

"Good." Tseng leaned back in his seat and motioned toward Jaras. "I believe you had something you wished to say to your father?"

Jaras, as usual, was uncomfortable as all eyes turned to him. He drew in a jagged breath before responding, "I'm going back to Mideel."

Vincent dropped his gaze and sighed, not at all surprised with this news. It had become increasingly clear to him after the mission that something like this was going to happen. "I understand and respect your decision."

"Thank you." Jaras offered up a fleeting smile. "But you are more than welcome to come by anytime you like."

Vincent looked back up and nodded. "We will."

Tifa also seemed to take the news in stride, knowing that this wasn't the world that Jaras was meant for anymore. "When are you leaving?"

Tseng spoke up. "My airship is departing this afternoon, taking him home."

Tifa knitted her brows and looked at Vincent. If there was an airship leaving she had plans of her own. "Vincent?"

He at once knew exactly what she was up to and smiled back at her. "You want to go see him, don't you?"

"Yes!" She clasped her hands together against her chest. "Can we? I mean, God only knows how well Cid is doing at this point."

Tseng cocked an eyebrow. "You wish to be dropped off in Rocket on the way I take it?"

"Please, Tseng? Can we?" Tifa almost begged, although she already knew that Tseng was going to allow it.

"Certainly, as long as you feel up to traveling." Tseng was really directing this question toward his brother.

"That is very generous of you." Vincent said to Tseng, glad that Tifa had been made so happy.

Their attention was diverted as Quigley stumbled into the room, his arms laden with papers. He came over and dropped the bundle in front of his boss. "Here's everything I learned about Hojo's cloning technology, growth accelerators, and what not."

Tseng looked at the mass of writing tossed before him and sighed. "Is this all you have been doing since you came here?"

"Yeah." Quigley ran a hand through his disheveled hair. "I had no idea that the freak actually taught me so much. Heck, I think if I was given the right equipment I could practically clone and grow someone myself."

Vincent was feeling a little full of himself and interrupted. "Then grow me a real body."

Quigley looked over at him and pursed his lips. "I can't grow you a body unless I get a sample of normal DNA from you and we all know Hojo tampered with that."

Vincent shrugged in response, not really expecting an answer in the first place. He knew that his genetic code was altered beyond repaired courtesy of the madman. Even without the Chaos demon lurking in his cells there were still many alterations that had taken place and any attempt to grow a viable tissue sample from him was doomed to failure. He flipped his long hair over his shoulder and sighed.

Suddenly, a shocked expression came across Quigley's face, and he ran around the table stopping behind Vincent. "Oh my God…"

Vincent jerked around as he felt the man's hands run through his hair. "What are you doing?"

"Mr. Valentine, may I ask you a question?" Quigley was absolutely mesmerized as he let some of Vincent's long tresses fall though his fingers.

"What?" Vincent was not comfortable with this person he hardly knew touching him.

"When was the last time you had this cut?" Quigley's eyes were wide.

Vincent, not quite following narrowed his eyes in thought. Truth be told, he couldn't remember the last time his hair had been trimmed but he did know that it was long before he was originally put into stasis. "It was probably done last before you were born."

With that simple knowledge, Quigley's excitement came to a boil. "Mr. Valentine… normal human hair is generally replaced on average every four years… but if you are above average…"

Tseng got up quickly from his seat and came to Quigley's side, catching on to what was being proposed. "Quigley, do you really think it could work?"

"I don't know, I'll have to take a sample and analyze it and if we're lucky, I may be able to find some intact DNA." Quigley let his hands drop to his sides. "I need a sample."

Vincent watched in stunned horror as Tseng reached down and picked up and steak knife from the table. Before he was able to protest, his brother sliced away a considerable number of his locks. "What the Hell?"

Quigley took the hair sample from Tseng and smiled. "Mr. Valentine, if there is some of your original and unaltered DNA in this, I _can_ make you a new body."

Vincent was dumbstruck as he watched Quigley bolt from the room, carrying with him a good fourth of his hair. He looked down at Tifa who herself was in shock. "Did he just say what I think he did?"

She just nodded in response. Without a large understanding of genetics or Hojo's technology this all seemed very improbable to her, but Quigley had seemed so _certain._

Tseng placed his hands on his brother's shoulders. "Don't get too excited yet, Tsuvati. This will only work if there is any remaining normal DNA in that hair sample."

Finally managing to get a firm grasp back on his emotions, Vincent narrowed his eyes and sighed. Nothing it seemed ever went smoothly for him and for this to actually work would be nothing short of a miracle. "When will he know?"

"It most likely won't be until you're back from your trip," Tseng speculated.

"Okay." Vincent was now taking this in stride. 

Tifa on the other hand was touched with the hope of this, no matter how small it may be. She met Vincent's gaze with a smile brimming on her face. Without any thought to it, she threw her arms around him and felt tears sting her eyes. Tifa knew that a normal body was the one thing that Vincent wanted in this world and even if he wasn't going to show any enthrallment over this possibility, she was.

Porter, knowing that he was the only one other than Quigley here with any measure of understanding regarding Hojo's work rose up painfully from his seat. "Tseng, where exactly is Quigley headed with that?"

"Let me show you." Tseng escorted Porter and Rayna out of the room, aware that this former Turk may well be able to help in this experiment.


	5. 141 Departing Words

Guilt's Cost: Part CXLI

Departing Words

By Kristen Gupton-Williams

Vincent found himself alone in his room preparing for the trip while Tifa had gone up into town to do some much needed shopping. He had opted not to go in true male fashion, believing that _anything _was better than clothes shopping.

He sat on the end of the bed, the various pieces of his Death Penalty laying out on the bedspread in an orderly fashion. It had been, in his opinion, far too long since he had last thoroughly cleaned the weapon. His well-trained hands easily reassembled the gun despite the fact that his mind was far from the task. 

He kept envisioning Hojo hanging from him on that catwalk, disbelieving that Jaras had shown up in time to prevent him from falling with the madman into the Mako well. Vincent couldn't help but wonder if the scientist's body would ever be recovered. In his heart he knew that Hojo was gone but without a body there would always be that sliver of doubt. Then his mind wandered to the memories of Tifa's reaction after Jaras terminated the Project. He had felt so helpless in that moment and hoped that he would never feel that way again.

The door to the room opened just as he slipped the magazine back into his gun and he looked up to see that Tifa had returned. In her hands were two shopping bags. She came over and sat next to him while setting the bags on the floor before her. "Hey."

He smiled at her as he laid the gun down on the bed next to him. "Did you get anything interesting?"

"Yeah." She picked back up one of the two bags and set it in his lap. "I got you some clothes. I don't know how long I'm gonna be able to keep looking at you in that outfit Reno got you."

He made the gesture of looking inside, not at all surprised to see yet more pairs of jeans and various colored shirts. Even if he wasn't the biggest fan of her tastes he was grateful to have more to wear. "Thanks."

Tifa crossed her arms over her chest and narrowed her eyes. "You don't like them do you?"

"Sure I do." Vincent looked over at her and frowned. "What makes you say that?"

"Well," Tifa smiled despite herself, "I seem to want to get you into some color and I don't think you like it."

He shrugged. "I used to wear normal clothes you know before I was a Turk. From then on it was all suits, and then when I awoke from stasis I found myself in that black outfit I had been put in. It just sort of seemed to fit I guess, plus as an assassin, black was a good choice. I'll wear this stuff, it might just take me a while to get used to dressing like this again."

"Okay." Tifa rested her head on his shoulder. "But you know, if you don't like what I pick, you don't have to wear it."

"Which means that I would have to go do my own shopping, and that isn't going to be something I'll look forward to." He placed an arm around her. "These will do just fine."

A knock came to the door and Vincent got up an answered. He found his brother on the other side. "Tseng."

He walked in a few paces, nodding in acknowledgement of Tifa. "Hello, I've come to let you two know that the air ship is ready. It will take you to Rocket first and then carry on to get Jaras home. I have told Dr. Arlin of this and she has already contacted Brandon to tell him that Jaras is coming back to Mideel. From what she said, he is excited to have him back, although worried slightly. I have told her to call Brandon back and let him know that we will be stationing a few ASRIO agents in Mideel to keep and eye out for anyone who might pose a threat to him. I think that will put all of our minds at rest a little."

Vincent seemed pleased to hear this. Having some of his brother's men looking out for his son was comforting. "Good, that is a wonderful idea and I thank you."

"Certainly." Tseng smiled. "It's the least I can do for him. He told me about his encounter with Hojo and yourself in the reactor. I know that he saved your life."

Vincent glanced away, not wishing to address that event but he was intrigued that Jaras had volunteered that information. "He told you about that?" 

"Well, in truth I had to drag it out of him." Tseng laughed. "He wasn't extremely forthcoming with any information regarding the mission. But I was able to gather that."

"It's true, he did save my life." Vincent looked over at Tifa whom he had already told the story to. "It didn't seem like him to willingly discuss it."

"Yes, he remains drawn into himself and I'm surprised that he acted as he did on the mission." Tseng sighed.

"I think he was Sephiroth on that mission, not Jaras." Vincent admitted in a saddened tone.

"Very possible." Tseng turned to walk back out the door. "In any event, the airship is ready and will leave once you board. I hope that you have a pleasant trip. Call me on my phone when you are ready to come back, all right?"

"All right." Vincent moved to close the door once he brother had stepped out.

Tifa got up from where she was sitting and ran to Tseng before he exited. "Thank you for letting us go to Rocket."

"Think nothing of it." Tseng grinned widely at her. "I know Cid needs you and you have earned a break from this place. Have a good time."

"Okay, thanks again." Tifa gave him a brief hug before stepping back so Vincent could shut the door. 

After a few more moments of preparation, they were ready to head up to the airship.


	6. 142 Amends

Guilt's Cost: Part CXLII

Amends

By Kristen Gupton-Williams

Once they were all safely aboard the airship it departed from Costa del Sol. The trip there usually took about a day and Vincent knew that this might be the last chance for Tifa and Jaras to get to discuss what had happened. The three of them were on the bridge together watching as the scenery below slowly changed.

Vincent turned to his wife and spoke quietly. "I think I'll go up on the deck for a while. I thought it might give you and Jaras a chance to go over some things."

The color seemed to drain from Tifa's face. "I don't know if I'm ready to talk to him about what happened yet."

"Well you don't have much time, Tifa." He placed a hand on her shoulder. "We will be in Rocket tomorrow and who knows how long it will be before we see him again."

"I know." Tifa sighed, as she looked over to where Jaras had planted himself with yet another book in his hands. "I just hate to bring it all up when he seems fine."

"He may look fine, but I assure you he is not." Vincent frowned slightly. "What he had to do back in the reactor is haunting him and I don't want him to go on thinking that you hold it against him."

"Certainly he knows that the only reason I said the things I said was due to my emotional involvement in the Project." She answered back up to him.

Vincent shook his head. "Maybe on some level he does, but until he gets to talk to you, I mean _really _talk to you about it he's going to be miserable."

"Okay." Tifa turned to face Jaras. "I'll do it."

"Thanks." Vincent moved to leave the bridge. "I'll be up on deck when you're done."

Tifa gathered herself and made her way to where Jaras was slumped down into one of the vacant helmsman's chairs. As she neared him, he looked up from the dog-eared paperback and gave her passing regard. Once Tifa was directly before him he placed the book in his lap and pulled his glasses off. "Where's my father?"

"Oh, he's gone up to the deck for awhile. I think he was getting a little claustrophobic." Tifa feigned a smile and crossed her arms across her chest. "But I thought maybe we could talk for a little."

He cocked an eyebrow at her and motioned for Tifa to sit in the chair to his left. "Sure."

Tifa grew obviously uncomfortable and stared down at her hands as they were folded in her lap. "I know that when we were in the reactor the other day that you only did what had to be done…"

Jaras just gazed back at her silent for the moment, not exactly certain of what he was supposed to say.

After a few moments she went on, "I guess what I'm trying to say is that I don't hold any of it against you, despite the things that I said at the time."

He sighed deeply and thought for a while. "Okay… I appreciate you telling me that. I didn't want to do any of it really but like I told my father I wasn't completely in control. Not that I'm trying to use that as any sort of excuse, because I'm not."

"I know. On the other hand, I do owe you a huge debt of thanks for saving Vincent's life. He told me what exactly happened when you found Hojo and him on the catwalk." Tifa shook her head, fighting back the tears that burned in her eyes. "I don't know what I would have done if he hadn't come back."

Jaras leaned forward, not wanting to see her cry over something that didn't happen. "I had to save him, he's my father. Plus I knew how much it would have hurt you had I failed in rescuing him."

She smiled, finally making eye contact with him. "Jaras, I can't even begin to imagine what would have happened if you hadn't been there."

"Well it's all over now." Jaras sat back again, starting to feel the familiar sting of her proximity in his heart. "Maybe we can all try and get back to our so-called normal lives now."

"I hope so." Tifa's grin widened. "So you're going to go back to Mideel and continue on with the bookstore, huh?"

"Yeah." Jaras flashed a quick grin. "It's what makes me happy. I suppose it sounds boring to most people but I really do like it."

"Doesn't sound boring to me at all." Tifa tossed her hair over her shoulder. "In fact, I think it sounds quite nice, peaceful really."

"It is." Jaras was becoming more relaxed in his pose, glad to be on another subject. "The people in Mideel are great. It's just such a laid back place. Hell, I'm pretty sure that even if anyone there did recognize me for who I was they wouldn't care."

Tifa laughed to herself at his demeanor. "I'm glad to hear that. It's good to know that you have found what makes you happy."

The duplicity of that statement didn't go unnoticed by Jaras and he shrugged his shoulders in response. "Yeah, well… What are you and my father going to do?"

"I don't really know." Tifa sighed. "I guess it sort of depends on whether that Quigley guy can get Vincent back to normal or not. We haven't really talked much about what a 'normal' life for us is going to be except that we're going to end up someplace where we can have a pond and some chickens."

Jaras seemed amused with this and then reached out and dared to put one of his hands on her knee. "Well, maybe you should take this time to go discuss with my father what you two are going to do now."

Tifa got his hint knowing that he was ready to dive back into his book. "Okay, that sounds like a good idea."

He continued to smile as she left the room, once again donning his glasses and lifting his book. The sooner he got home and back into his regular routine the better. Longing for a woman he couldn't have wasn't doing him any good.


	7. 143 Flight Time

Guilt's Cost CXLIII

Flight Time

By Kristen Gupton-Williams

Tifa made her way up onto the deck, finding Vincent at his usual perch looking over the side of the ship. She slipped up behind him and placed her arms around his waist and rested her head on his shoulder. He in turn placed one of his arms over where hers were wrapped around him. 

Vincent glanced back over his shoulder to see her pressed against him. "That didn't take too long."

"No, I guess it didn't." Tifa smiled despite the fact that Vincent couldn't see. "He's not the biggest conversationalist if you can imagine."

He laughed to himself quietly. "I can't begin to guess where he got that trait from. But it went well I take it?"

"Yeah." Tifa held him more closely. "He just wants to go home so bad, I can't help but feel sorry for him."

Vincent nodded in agreement. "Luckily in a few days he will be home and he can get back to doing whatever it is he likes."

"We will go and see him soon though, right?" Tifa asked, not willing to let Jaras slip out of their lives that easily.

"Of course." A brief frown overcame Vincent and it was reflected in his voice. "I had somehow hoped that he would have stayed with us. I will be worried for him."

"Me too… but you never really expected him to stay did you?" Tifa sighed.

He shook his head. "No, I didn't but still I had hoped. I don't blame him for wanting to go back, it sounds like he had a pretty good thing going there."

"He seems to think so." Tifa let go of him and came to his side, leaning against the rail next to him. "And what about us?"

Vincent looked at her with an expression of confusion. "What do you mean?"

"What are we going to do now?" Tifa looked into his eyes and cocked her head. "Are we going to get that place out in the country that we talked about when we were in Wutai?"

He raised his eyebrows and shrugged. "I would like that but for now, I think we shouldn't quite get to planning until they decide what they can or can't do for my body."

"I don't see what that has to do with it, Vincent." She playfully shoved him. "I've already told you that I'm going to stick with you no matter what happens."

"I know, but still I don't think it will be a simple thing if it does work and I don't know how far out in the middle of nowhere we should live if I end up stuck with this mechanical body I have now. I knew how well my old systems worked but who knows about all the new things that Hojo did." Vincent smiled weakly.

"Oh you'll be fine either way." Tifa turned her gaze to stare off into the horizon. "How do you think Cid will be doing when we get there?"

"I hadn't really thought about it." He looked over at her. "Besides, when it comes to someone knowing Cid, I think that is your department is it not?"

"I suppose." She donned a wide smile. "I think he will be doing all right, assuming that he hasn't taught that baby the entire dictionary of curse words yet."

"There is no way that child is going to grow up with a socially acceptable vocabulary." Vincent smirked. "I can't imagine."

Tifa was amused to hear this. "You're probably right. That kid is going to have a lot of troubles when he is introduced to the educational system. There are going to be a lot of late afternoons in the principal's office I bet."

"And I bet Cid wouldn't have it any other way." Vincent put his arm around her shoulders.

The afternoon wore on into evening and eventually it became too cold to remain on deck and the two of them went back into the ship. They made their way to the bridge to discover Jaras exactly as Tifa had left him some hours before.

Upon noticing that they were back, Jaras rose from his seat and pulled off his glasses. "I was wondering where the two of you were."

"Just watching the clouds go by." Tifa smiled.

"So what is it you have planned once you arrive in Rocket tomorrow?" Jaras asked, feeling the need to fill the silence with conversation.

"We're not really sure," Tifa replied looking over at Vincent, "I guess it all depends on how Cid is coping with the baby."

Even though he had only spent a limited time around the pilot, Jaras was fairly certain that he wasn't exactly parent material. In a way he wanted to go with them to find out how things were going, but his overpowering desire to get back to Mideel wouldn't allow it. "I see."

Vincent examined his son briefly, easily seeing the fatigue within him. "Are you feeling all right?"

Jaras shrugged weakly. "Just tired I think."

Vincent was fairly certain that Jaras was hiding something and gave him a rather doubting stare. What he must have been dealing with emotionally Vincent could only imagine and he took a step closer. "If there is anything you need tonight, please come by our room and let us know."

He flashed a smile in response. "All right."

"Good." With that, Vincent turned and took Tifa's hand in his own as they headed off to their quarters for the night.


	8. 144 Paternal Pride

Guilt's Cost CXLIV

Paternal Pride

By Kristen Gupton-Williams

When the airship came to a stop over Rocket the following day, it was a somber occasion. Any excitement that Tifa may have felt over seeing Cid and his infant was dampered by the thought of Jaras no longer being around. Vincent and his wife exited the airship as it came to rest in the same field it had used before. Jaras came out with them only for the purpose of good byes.

Vincent went over and embraced his son. "We will come see you soon, all right?"

"Okay." Jaras had his eyes closed for the duration of the hug, fighting back the emotions that were drilling at his heart. "Thanks."

Once Vincent stepped back, Tifa went up and also took Jaras in her arms. "I'll miss you."

A lone tear managed to escape and Jaras' voice wavered. "I'll miss you, too. Good bye."

Tifa finally let go and returned to Vincent's side. They both could clearly see the pain on Jaras' face and felt badly for him.

Jaras wiped his eyes and gave them a shallow nod before turning and reboarding the airship. He made his way to his quarters and locked himself in knowing that he would need to be alone while he fought off his heartbreak about leaving his father and Tifa.

Vincent and Tifa remained where they were until the airship slowly began its ascent into the air. Both of them were heavy with emotion over the bittersweet departure of Jaras but soon Tifa's excitement over seeing Cid won out.

Tifa pulled on Vincent's arm, snapping him out of his reverie. "Let's go!"

He smiled at his wife and began to follow her as she made her way toward Cid's house. They went through town at a brisk pace, finally rounding the last bend onto Cid's street.

There, as was all too familiar they found Cid under the hood of the vehicle that rested in his front yard, his back turned to them. As they got closer, they noticed that the baby was no where to be seen. When they were just a few yards away, Tifa announced their presence. "Cid!"

The pilot, not expecting anyone jumped upright in surprise, bashing his head into the hood of the vehicle. "God Damn it!"

Tifa shrunk at witnessing his head trauma. "Sorry…"

Cid spun around and he wiped his hands on a dirty rag. "What the Hell?"

Once Cid was facing them properly, both Tifa and Vincent couldn't help but burst into laughter. The object of their amusement was the front pack that Cid had strapped on with the baby snuggly nestled into it.

"Oh my God that is soooo cute!" Tifa squealed in her delight.

Cid rolled his eyes and tossed the rag in his hands to the ground. "Oh yeah, ha ha very funny. I'm glad this amuses you."

Vincent made a halfhearted attempt to regain his composure and address Cid properly. "Hey… how are you doing?"

"Fine, considering." Cid eased the baby out of the pack and held him out for their approval. "Getting bigger isn't he?"

Tifa stepped up and took the baby from the pilot. She immediately cradled the infant to her and smiled. "Oh he looks great, Cid!"

He puffed with a bit of pride at her approval of his son's condition. "Well we've been doing all right."

Vincent looked over Tifa's shoulder at the child and smiled despite himself. There was clearly a lot of Cid visible in his tiny face. "I can't believe how much he already looks like you."

"You think?" Cid took a few steps closer so he too could see his baby. "When I look at him all I see is Shera."

Upon the mention of his wife's name, Tifa brought her attention up from the infant and locked gazes with Cid. "How are you doing?"

He shrugged slightly and looked off to the side. "I'm okay I guess. I never thought I would say this but I really fucking miss her."

Even in the most serious of situations Cid was still Cid, and Vincent stepped over to his friend's side. "Been rough, huh?"

Feeling a touch odd with discussing his feelings with Vincent, Cid couldn't look him in the eye. "Yeah, it has been. Hell, I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have to keep it together for the baby's sake I would have snapped a long time ago."

Vincent nodded knowingly, and dared to reach out and place a hand on Cid's shoulder. "Well we're here to help you in any way we can."

Cid was even himself surprised when he failed to recoil from Vincent's touch. He smiled up at the taller man weakly. "Thanks. Let's go in."

They all filed into the kitchen and sat around the table, Tifa still holding onto the baby. Before sitting, Cid pulled a pitcher of iced tea from the refrigerator and set some glasses on the table. He then landed heavily next to Tifa and smiled at her. "What have you guys been up to?"

Tifa glanced up at him briefly. "I think that is something better told by Vincent."

Cid turned to face him. "Well?"

"We went to Midgar and hunted down Hojo." Vincent stated simply.

"And?" Cid's curiosity was piqued.

"Hojo was killed and his last experiment terminated." He stared down at his hands folded on the table's surface.

Cid's eyes went wide and he leaned forward in his seat. "No shit?"

Vincent smiled faintly. "No shit."

"I'm impressed." Cid looked over at Tifa. "We're sure he's dead this time, right?"

"Yes." Tifa didn't bring her gaze up from the baby.

"Who may I ask had the honor of killing the son of a bitch?" Cid asked, turning back to Vincent.

"Jaras." He replied.

Cid sat in stunned silence for a moment before slamming his hand into the table's surface. "God damn, I didn't know the bastard had it in him!"

"He did." Vincent couldn't help but feel a slight bit of pride within him. "Saved my life and killed Hojo in one fell swoop."

"Well I'll be…" Cid leaned back crossing his arms over his chest. "I never would have guessed."

Vincent smirked, "Neither would I."


	9. 145 Progress

Guilt's Cost CXLV

Progress

By Kristen Gupton-Williams

Cid looked over to Vincent and asked, "Where is Jaras?"

"He's on his way back to Mideel as we speak." Vincent replied, staring down at the table's surface.

"Oh," Cid raised his eyebrows, not having expected that news, "why's he doing that?"

"I just don't think he's cut out for any other life than mild mannered book dealer at this point." Vincent smiled faintly.

"Isn't that a little dangerous, considering that at some point someone is bound to recognize him for who he is?" Cid leaned closer to Vincent.

"He's aware of that danger and it is a risk he was willing to face." The pain of this answer was obvious within Vincent.

"I see." Cid settled back in his seat and looked over at Tifa who was still absorbed in the infant. "So what do you think of the kid?"

Tifa looked up with a broad grin on her lips. "Oh Cid, he's absolutely beautiful. Looks like you've been doing a great job."

Not accustomed to such praise, Cid blushed the faintest bit at her words. He just stared as Tifa continued to hold the baby, seeing what a natural she was at mothering. For maybe just the shortest moment, he considered giving her the child to raise but the idea of losing his son was too terrifying to seriously consider. _To damned bad she's married to Vincent, _he thought to himself.

Tifa looked up seeing the odd expression on Cid's face. "What's wrong?"

"Nothing." Cid snapped himself out of the state he'd gotten into. "Just makes me think how much I miss Shera, that's all."

"Oh," Tifa frowned, empathetic to his sadness. "Speaking of which, wasn't her mother going to come by for a while?"

Cid scoffed. "Yeah, she did and just about drove me fucking nuts. I know she was trying to be helpful but she's a horrendous pain in the ass."

Everyone fell silent for a moment, not quite certain how to respond to Cid's last statement. Finally Vincent broke the silence. "Anyone else hungry?"

Tifa and Cid both looked over to him apparently amused. They nodded in unison.

***

Jaras remained locked in his room for the duration of the flight, reading. When he felt the airship come to its rest in Mideel he immediately picked up his few belongings and made his way off the ship. Once on the ground he began to walk for town without looking back at the ship.

As he made his way through the streets towards his bookstore and his tiny apartment above it, he received friendly nods and greetings from those he passed, all of them wondering where he had been for the past several weeks.

When he finally got to his store he was pleased to see the open sign in the window and his young employee dutifully behind the counter. He looked up to see that his boss had returned and smiled. "I was starting to wonder if you were ever coming back."

Jaras returned his smile and shrugged. "There were times that I wondered the same thing. How were things while I was away?"

"Good." The boy handed some ledgers over to Jaras. "Sales were pretty steady."

He flipped through the books, not really paying much attention to the numbers, knowing that the boy was honest as could be. "Excellent. Well, since you've had to keep this place up by yourself all this time I think I owe you a vacation. Take the next two weeks off and I'll bring your paycheck over to your house."

The boy beamed with gratitude. "Wow, thank you Mr. Ross!"

"Think nothing of it, you've earned it." Jaras looked at the clock on the wall and saw that it was closing time for the day. He walked over and turned the sign in the window to closed and then looked back over at the boy. "Go ahead and go home now, I'll close up."

"Okay." The boy picked up his pack and headed for the door.

Just before he left, Jaras addressed him one last time. "Can you do me a favor and tell Brandon that I'm back on your way home?"

"Sure thing." The boy flashed him a smile as he pushed the door open. "Glad you're back, bye."

Now alone, Jaras made his way to his desk in back and collapsed before his pile of ledgers, smiling to himself as he gratefully got back to the monotonous work that he had so missed.

***

Quigley had practically become a hermit in the ASRIO lab, his only contact with others being Porter's accompaniment and Tseng's daily visits. During Tseng's third such visit he entered the lab, finding Quigley and Porter both anxiously hovering over an analysis machine as a graph became visible on it's screen.

"What's going on, Gentlemen?" Tseng asked as he neared them.

Porter turned around acknowledging Tseng's presence while Quigley didn't move in the least. The former Turk took the few limping steps toward the older man. "We're waiting on the analysis of the material we replicated from the hair sample. If things go well, we will find some normal DNA."

The significance of this didn't go unnoticed by Tseng. His eyes went wide in amazement and his voice became hushed. "How long until you know?"

Porter looked back over his shoulder at where Quigley stood anxiously. "A few minutes."

"Mind if I stay until you find out?" Tseng asked, not wanting to be in the way.

"Absolutely not." Porter motioned to a chair. "Have a seat."


	10. 146 Rematch

Guilt's Cost CXLVI

Rematch

By Kristen Gupton-Williams

Cid, Vincent, and Tifa sat in a booth in one of the small restaurants in Rocket. Vincent and Tifa were on one side, while Cid was opposite them, his son wrapped and reclining in his arms.

Tifa and Vincent had just completed telling him of all the details of the mission to Midgar and Cid sat nodding slowly. "You guys did all that shit without me, huh?"

"Well," Tifa smiled, "you did sort of have other things to attend to."

"Yeah, I guess." The days of action still at times did call out to the pilot. "I'm just glad that you two made it through all right."

"So are we." Tifa smiled. She then looked over at Cid. "After this, why don't you two guys go out and get some time together. I'll stay home with the baby."

Both Cid and Vincent looked at each other oddly. Asking the two of them to spend some quality time together was proof that at some point Tifa had, in fact lost her mind.

Tifa caught their expressions and sighed. "Cid, you've been with the baby non-stop since he was born and Vincent, you… well in any event, the two of you could benefit from getting out."

Cid slumped in his seat and pushed his plate back, suddenly getting an idea. He and Vincent did have some unfinished business to attend to. "Okay Tifa, we'll humor you, won't we Sunshine?"

Vincent regarded him with a smirk. He certainly wasn't about to be shown up to his own wife by the pilot. "Sure."

"Good." Tifa slid from her seat, accepted the infant from Cid, and then looked back at them. "Take your time, me and the baby can take care of ourselves. We will be back at the house."

They remained where they sat as Tifa walked from view. Cid picked up the check that the waitress had left a few moments before and looked at it before pulling out his wallet and throwing some bills on the table. After, he crossed his arms over his chest and looked at Vincent. "So old man, whatcha think?"

Vincent cocked an eyebrow at his companion. "Nothing."

"Come on, you and I have some shit to take care of." Cid growled while getting up from his seat.

Vincent silently followed, not quite certain what the pilot had in store for him. When he realized that Cid was leading him back to the tavern that they had visited on their first trip to Rocket he sighed. "What are we doing here?"

Cid held open the door for Vincent. "Get your ass in here and try and win this time."

"What?" Vincent stopped and just stared.

"You think that just because you're Mister Experiment Gone Awry that you can out drink me?" Cid reached out and pushed Vincent through the doors. "I'm gonna beat you this time like I should have done before."

Vincent trudged his way to a corner seat, not really feeling much like drinking and certainly not to the point that Cid intended.

Soon the heavyset barmaid whose life's work was to taunt Cid made her way over. "All right, Mr. Highwind, what is it this time?"

"Me and my associate here have something to take care of." Cid smiled up at her. "Bring us a bottle of the strongest shit you have and two shot glasses."

"A drinking bet, huh?" The barmaid smiled. "Trying to blow out what's left of the ol' liver are you?"

"Yes Harriet, that's exactly it." Cid scowled up at her. "Get to it."

"Fine." She turned and made her way to the bar.

"So what are we playing for?" Cid asked, leaning closer to Vincent.

He just stared back at the pilot for a long time before responding. There was something on Vincent's mind that Cid could help him with and this might just prove the opportunity to ask. Vincent reached down and pulled out his wallet, pulling forth a debit card inside. He laid it on the table. "There."

"That don't mean a damned thing, Sunshine. You've got to give me some numbers here." Cid scoffed.

"As you may or may not be aware of, I have over the past seven years taken over seventeen million gil in hit contracts from the Turks." Vincent's face was expressionless. "That is the card to my bank account. You win, and I will give you three million gil."

Cid's eyes went wide. He had been never offered such a fortune in a bet before. "Well that's fucking great of you, but I don't have that kind of money to screw around with."

"I'm not expecting you to." Vincent leaned back and smiled faintly. "If I win, I have just one small request for you."

"What's that?" Cid was intrigued.

"You fly me on a trip to anywhere I want, no questions asked and you will tell no one about where we have been." Vincent's voice was monotone.

Cid raised his eyebrows, thoroughly surprised. "Is it somewhere dangerous?"

"No." Vincent flipped a hand. "No where risky at all, just somewhere I'd rather not have anyone else know that I went. Including Tifa."

"Oh…" Cid nodded slowly. "All right, that'll work. Your three mil for one trip. Deal."

At that moment, the barmaid brought their order and set it down on the table. She winked at Vincent. "Good luck to you, stranger. Beat the old bastard at his own game."

Cid picked up the bottle and looked at the label for a moment. "Holy shit, Junonian Vodka? I didn't even know they still made this crap. I think they use it to strip paint or something."

Vincent was not deterred in the least by Cid's little show. He picked up his tiny glass and handed it to Cid to be filled. 

The pilot quickly had both shots poured and picked up his own. "All right, number one."

The two men tossed back their drinks. Cid made a slightly disgusted expression at the overwhelming strength of the alcohol but Vincent remained placid as the warm and familiar feel of this beverage ran through him.

Cid shook off the burn and picked up the bottle, soon having their glasses ready for the second round. "Two."

Again they both drank and showed about the same response as they had after the first shot. Underneath his calm veneer, Vincent was somewhat concerned at how his altered body would react internally to this insult. Without much living tissue left for the alcohol to effect he wondered what would happen. His train of thought was broken when Cid pushed the third drink over to him.

"Come on, Sunshine. Let's take care of three." Cid said, raising his glass.

Vincent complied and the two of them soon had three shots packed away.

Several minutes had passed along with many more shots. The other patrons in the bar had now gathered around to watch the legendary pilot take on the stranger. Most present thoroughly hoped that Cid would be humbled by this man. Although everyone in town loved him dearly, they were all aware that when push came to shove, Cid was an arrogant bastard.

Twelve shots each and those gathered looked on in silent awe. Cid was flushed red at this point and had a definite sweat upon his skin. After pouring their next shots, his hands immediately grasped the edge of the table in some vain attempt to keep the room from spinning out of control. "All right Vince, you ready to give up yet?"

Vincent smiled slightly seeing that Cid was by far in worse shape than he was at the moment. While Vincent _was_ feeling the effects of the alcohol, he was still in much more control than his opponent. The fact of the matter was, no longer having a human digestive tract Vincent's body was preventing anymore alcohol to enter his system than had been introduced after five drinks. From that point on, Vincent hadn't felt any worse. "Fine."

They each took up their glasses yet again and drank. As Vincent lowered his glass back to the table he noticed a very odd expression upon the pilot's face. Despite himself, he became concerned. "Cid, are you all right?"

Trying to muster the last of his bravado, Cid tried to laugh Vincent's comment off but no sooner had his retort been thought out was it cut off as he was forced to turn from the table and vomit onto the tavern floor. The onlookers seemed quite pleased to see Cid lose in such a humiliating manner. Cid finally managed to straighten back up in his seat, praying silently that he wasn't going to throw up again. He glanced over at Vincent, his embarrassment obvious. "All right Sunshine, you win."

Vincent was clearly pleased with this outcome and got up from his seat, motioning for the onlookers to move along. The barmaid was already on her way over with a bucket of sawdust to cover the offending mess.

Turning back to look at Cid, Vincent smiled. "Come on, we have a trip to make."

Cid got up rather unsteadily from the booth and stepped over his purged alcohol. "You can't seriously fucking expect me to fly now."

"I most certainly can." Vincent started to walk from the bar. "I'm fairly certain that this won't be the first time you've flown drunk. Let's go."

Unable to argue Cid followed meekly along. He knew he would never live this down. "You know I hate you, right?"

Vincent didn't turn to respond. "Keep telling yourself that and I'm sure someday you'll start to believe it."

Cid was feeling by far too poorly to protest any further and just trudged along obediently as Vincent led him to where his plane was sitting just a short ways from the house. Once close enough to the plane, Cid leaned on it heavily for support. "Look, Sunshine, maybe you've got some sort of death wish but I don't."

"You are perfectly capable of flying. I know you." Vincent said as he pulled open the door on the side of the plane.

"I'm not worried about the flying bit." Cid scoffed. "I'm worried about what Tifa's going to do to us when we fail to show up tonight."

"We will be back by then." Vincent thought for a moment. "This will not take long. I figure you can get us there and back in about three or four hours."

"Shit." Cid resolved that Vincent was in fact serious about this trip and grudgingly got into the plane, making his way to the pilot's seat where he landed heavily.

Vincent also got in and took up the copilot's seat. "Go southeast."

Cid looked over at him while popping a piece of nicotine gum into his mouth. "Where the hell we going?"

"Don't worry about it, just follow my directions." Vincent said, hoping that Cid would get them into the air before Tifa happened to look out the window and see them in the plane.

Cid sighed and started the engines, also realizing that he needed to get the plane up and away from the house before Tifa bothered to look and see what was going on. He led the plane onto the grass runway just a few hundred yards from the house and gunned the engines, soon getting them into the air.


	11. 147 Guilt's Cost

Guilt's Cost CXLVII

Guilt's Cost

By Kristen Gupton-Williams

With the plane safely into the air, Vincent leaned back in his seat and closed his eyes. His thoughts wandered as the drone of the engines combined with the alcohol in his blood to make him tired.

Cid looked over and saw Vincent starting to drift off. "Hey, don't you dare fall asleep. I have no fucking idea where we're going so stay up."

Vincent opened his eyes and turned to stare at his companion. "Head towards the mountains."

"Why?" Cid knew that this was most likely a pointless attempt, but still gave it a shot.

"You'll see when we get there." Vincent sighed, resolving that he would have to cope with his slight drunkenness awake.

"Come on man." Cid nagged, growing a bit annoyed. "You've pulled me onto this plane shit faced drunk, I think I deserve at least a little explanation. Maybe Tifa goes for this mysterious crap, but it does nothing for me."

"If you had to guess, where do you think I'd have you take me?" Vincent asked, deciding to play a bit with the crass pilot.

Cid rolled his eyes in annoyance. "Oh fuck Sunshine, how should I know? From Tifa's accounts, you hate Wutai so we ain't going there, right?"

"Correct." He replied, enjoying Cid's attempt at thought.

"All right." Cid thought for a moment. "Well you want to go somewhere that you don't want Tifa to find out about, so that leaves just one possibility."

"And that is?" Vincent was actually becoming intrigued at the pilot's understanding of him.

"Well, if a man wants to go somewhere without his girl knowing, that means he's going to see some other chick." Cid smiled to himself, fully confident that he was on the right track. "And since you are Mr. Pure, I know you ain't been cheating on Tifa which leaves only one possibility."

"And?" Vincent pried on.

"We're going to the waterfall in the mountains, aren't we?" Cid laughed. "So you can go see if Lucretia's ghost is spooking around."

Vincent raised his eyebrows, thoroughly impressed. "Very good, I didn't think that you would nail that one."

"Yeah well I ain't as stupid as you think, kid." Cid put a second piece of gum in his mouth. "So that just leaves the question of why are we going there?"

"Well," Vincent turned his eyes to look out the window, "if she's there, I just want to make sure she's okay with everything."

"You think you need a dead woman's blessing to be with Tifa?" Cid asked.

"No, it's not about my relationship with Tifa, it's about something else." Vincent sunk into the seat.

Cid saw the cloud descend around Vincent and knew that the conversation was dead. Whatever it was that was driving Vincent on this pilgrimage was obviously important to him and he had won the bet fairly to get this trip. Cid would just have to wait and see.

Now knowing where they were headed, Cid corrected the plane's course to get them their quickly. Where in the hell he was going to land a plane in the mountains he did not know. As he thought about it he started to remember that there were some trails up there and if luck was with them, one of said trails should be all right for landing the small craft. By the next time that Cid looked over at Vincent, he saw that his companion had managed to drift off into sleep.

After about an hour and a half, Cid started weaving the plane through the mountains, searching for someplace to set down. After several passes, he decided that there was actually just enough length of beach near the falls to allow him to comfortably land. He descended sharply, needing to get the plane into position in the limited space in the valley.

As the plane dropped, Vincent picked up on the motion and was roused from his sleep. He became completely coherent just as the landing gear hit the sand and the plane bounced to a stop. "That was fast."

"No, Princess, you've been asleep." Cid scoffed as he unhooked his belt and crawled from his seat. "Go do whatever it is you've come here to do and then get back to the plane, I'm gonna wait here after I take care of something."

Vincent got from his seat and moved to get out of the plane. "Okay, but what are you going to do?"

Cid frowned in annoyance as he opened the door. "I drank myself blue a few hours ago, nature calls."

Vincent didn't respond, knowing that he should have figured it out for himself. As he got used to the feeling of solid earth underneath him again, he saw Cid scamper off toward some brush. Sighing to himself, he started to make his way toward the waterfall a few hundred yards off.

As he walked, he did his best to keep his mind devoid of thought. Over the last seven years, he had come here one time since seeing Lucretia's ghost with the AVALANCHE group. That last time that he had come, she hadn't shown up despite the fact that he remained within the cave for well over a week, hoping that she would come. Maybe she had finally gone to join the Lifestream and wouldn't be here ever again, but that was a risk he was willing to face. If she was here still though, he did have a very important question for her.

Once standing before the waterfall, he felt the cold mist wash over him in waves as he gathered his courage before entering the cave that was hidden behind the water. He took one last breath and steeled himself before going forward.

The interior of the cave was dark, save the blue glow from the outcropping of Mako and Materia in the back of the chamber. The air inside was damp and smelled of the Lifestream, and Vincent found himself holding his breath trying to not pull the sickly air into his lungs.

Vincent stopped in the center of the chamber and stared up at the alter-like formation before him. "I need to ask you something, if you're still here."

The echo of Vincent's own voice filled the cave, tempered only by the roar of the rushing water outside. There was no display of ghostly activity or supernatural sign to reward Vincent's trip.

After several minutes of nothing, Vincent hung his head and sighed. Either she wasn't here or she didn't want to see him and it stung something within his heart. Reluctantly he turned and started to walk out.

"Vincent, wait…" An all too familiar voice beckoned out to him.

He spun in surprise, coming to see the faint spectral form of his long lost love. After running forward to his original place, Vincent fell to his knees. "Lucretia, I thought you weren't here anymore."

Her sad translucent features formed a weak smile. "I am being pulled by the Lifestream, and it becomes harder and harder to be seen."

"Last time I was here you never came." Vincent said, his voice hushed.

"I needed to save my remaining energy for a time when I thought you needed me." She moved a little closer to him. "I felt that now was such a time. After this I will become one with the Lifestream."

Vincent was speechless for a moment. "Then you will be at peace?"

"Vincent, I already am at peace." Her smile turned warm. "My son is alive and has a normal life, you have been reunited with him, and Hojo has received his just punishment. All that I could ever have hoped for has come to pass."

"You…you know all that?" Vincent was amazed. 

"There are benefits to being dead." Her voice lilted into a quiet laugh. "So now, it's time for you to also be happy."

Vincent dropped his gaze, his past failures washing over him. "I do have happiness, even in spite of what Hojo has done to my body. There might be a way for me to have a normal body again if things work out right, but I don't know…"

"You don't know what?" She became confused. "If there is a chance for you to have a normal body, then I should think you would be elated."

"The thought of being complete again is more than I could ever want," he sighed deeply, "but do I deserve it Lucretia?"

"What do you mean do you deserve it?" She came even closer.

"My guilt…my failures…I've always thought of my body's alterations as my earned punishment." He looked back up at her. "Do I deserve to be whole again?"

Lucretia came all the way before him and knelt down to be on his level. "Vincent, you deserve to be happy. You've always deserved to be happy. No one person with the exception of Hojo bears any responsibility for what happened."

Tears came to his eyes as he looked at her. Her words were touching something deep inside him, comforting what had been aching for nearly forty years.

Seeing the expression on his face, she went on. "Vincent, you have suffered enough of guilt's cost, even though you bore no blame. It cannot remain the driving force in your life."

"You forgive me?" Vincent's voice trembled.

"I never needed to forgive you, Vincent, because I never blamed you." She reached out a ghostly hand and touched Vincent's cheek.

He closed his eyes as he felt the chill of her touch run through him. "Lucretia, I love you."

"I know, and I love you, too." She slowly pulled away from him. "Now, go and be happy. If you think of me from now on, know that I am well and again one with the planet. You still have much ahead of you and no matter what, I will be looking after you and those you love. You belong to Tifa now, she loves you dearly and I am so happy that you found her."

Vincent watched as she slowly faded from view. "Thank you, Lucretia…"


	12. 148 Resolution

Guilt's Cost CXLVIII

Resolution

By Kristen Gupton-Williams

After taking care of business, Cid had gone back to the plane and sat in the sand of the beach, protected from the sun by the wing of the craft. He looked around the valley while gnawing on yet more gum, noticing that it looked no different from the time Vincent had brought them here seven years before. On some level, he did feel sorry for Vincent, knowing that he was still hung up on Lucretia after all this time. Now having lost his wife, Cid could actually sympathize to a certain degree and felt a small pang of guilt for having harassed the other man about his feelings so long before.

After some time had passed, Cid caught movement out of the corner of his eye and looked in the direction of the waterfall seeing that Vincent was coming back. Grudgingly he rose from the ground and placed his hands on his hips. "Back already?"

Vincent's face was expressionless and he seemed to be looking through the pilot. "It's time to go back now."

Cid at once felt very uncomfortable and narrowed his eyes. "What happened Vincent? Is everything okay?"

To be hearing any level of concern from Cid struck Vincent as odd and he allowed a small smile to grace his lips. "Everything is fine."

"Oh," Cid turned and opened the door on the side of the plane. "You just sort of had that old scary look about you there for a moment."

Vincent sighed. "It still hurts sometimes."

Cid turned to face Vincent, knowing now what was wrong with him. Against every fiber in his being, he reached out and took Vincent in his arms. "I know, and it's okay."

Vincent unflinchingly gave into the embrace and hug heavily on the pilot. He was silent for several moments as the true meaning of Lucretia's words continued to sink into his heart. Despite all that he had thought over the years, he was finally freed of his burden and the relief of it all was overwhelming. "Lucretia… she says everything is all right now…"

Cid clapped him on the back, repressing the awkwardness of his position. "Of course it is, Sunshine. From everything that I've gathered over the years, she loved you just like you loved her and with that being the case, all she would want for you is happiness. I can only hope that Shera feels the same way about me."

Vincent finally managed to take a step back from Cid and dried his eyes. Something very profound had just happened between him and the pilot and it did not go unnoticed. "I'm sure she does, Cid. If she didn't love you more than anything she certainly wouldn't have stayed around that long."

Cid cocked his head slightly, allowing humor to remove any remaining feeling of awkwardness from him. "What? You saying that I'm hard to get along with?"

"Of course not." Vincent actually laughed. "It's only taken seven years or so for me to not want to kill you. I'd say that's about average for the general population."

"Aw fuck you." Cid smiled. "So you're sure you're okay then?"

"As good as I think I'll ever be." Vincent dropped his gaze to the ground. "Let's go home, all right?"

"Sure." Cid turned and got into the plane, closely followed by Vincent.

As soon as they were strapped in, Cid fired up the engines and taxied to the farthest end of the beach. To Vincent's untrained eye, it seemed like there was no way for the plane to gain enough altitude to clear the mountains on the other side of the valley. "Cid?"

"What?" He glanced over at his companion.

"Do we have enough room?" He asked, motioning ahead.

"I wouldn't have landed us here if I didn't think I could get us back into the air." Cid scoffed.

Vincent still wasn't convinced and sank down into his seat, bracing for the worst.

Cid, clearly amused at Vincent's reaction gunned the engines and started off down the beach. When the landing gear was clear of the ground he intentionally kept the plane rather low, hoping to get more of a reaction from the other man.

To Vincent, it surely now looked as though they were headed for disaster. He looked nervously over at Cid. "Shouldn't we be climbing a little faster?" 

Cid scowled and thought for a moment. "Maybe we're too heavy. You need to jump."

"What?!" Vincent was coming unglued.

"Ye of little faith." Cid smiled.

If he was worried before, now Vincent was down right mortified. The trees on the other side of the valley were now close enough that he could see their individual leaves. Reflexively he brought his arms up in a pathetic gesture.

Seeing he had truly managed to shake the other man, Cid pulled back hard, taking the plane straight up only yards from crashing into the trees.

Vincent was pushed back hard as the plane climbed sharply. The force was almost enough to take his breath away. "Shit, what are you doing?"

Cid laughed right out. "Aw, now you're starting to sound like me, Sunshine."

***

The remainder of the trip back to Rocket was more or less uneventful. The two men managed to fill the time with conversation, although be it nothing deep or meaningful. When they finally got to Rocket, Cid circled the town once to line up with his runway. "Think Tifa's going to notice?"

Vincent shrugged. "Not much gets past her and if she heard the plane, she knows that you're the only one that's got one."

"Yeah." Cid cocked his head. "So what's our story?"

Vincent thought for a moment. "We've been gone for four hours…"

"Didn't think this one through too well, did you?" Cid frowned.

"Well," Vincent sighed, "Where else is an hour and a half to two hour trip from here?"

"Niebelhiem and that's about it." Cid replied.

"Okay, good." Vincent relaxed. "We will just say we went there."

"And why did we go there? 'Cause you know she's gonna ask." He said.

"Because I made a bet with you that we couldn't get there in less than two hours and you had to prove me wrong, which you did." Vincent smiled.

"Okay, I can go with that." Cid nodded. "At least it makes it look like I won something today. Don't you feel weird about lying to Tifa?"

Vincent shrugged. "Yes and no. I can't explain it. I guess I just don't want her to think that I went there because I'm still longing for Lucretia. She'd probably understand and all, but sometimes there are just some things better left alone."

"Okay." Cid accepted this in stride and didn't argue. He knew that when it came to whether or not Vincent did love Tifa that he did and could let this one slip.

When the plane touched down and came to a stop, Cid and Vincent quickly exited it, hoping to get away Scott-free with the trip but when they saw Tifa on the bench next to the house, their hopes crumbled.

Vincent walked over to his wife and sat down. "Hi."

She smiled back at him and then looked over at Cid. "The baby's asleep in his crib. He's been an angel while you were gone."

"Good, I'm glad to hear it." Cid at once went into the house to look in on his child.

Tifa asked the obvious. "And where have you two been?"

Vincent smiled. "You're the one that demanded that we spend some quality time together."

"Yes I did, now where did you go?" Tifa grinned back, happy to see that Vincent was in a good mood.

"Cid and I were at the tavern and he told me that his plane was fast enough to get to Niebelheim in less than two hours. I told him he was full of it as usual so he had to prove me wrong. You know how he is."

Tifa laughed. "Yeah, that's Cid for you. Did you guys at least have a good time?"

"Sure." Vincent placed an arm around her shoulders. "We talked a little. I think it was good for us."

"Great." Tifa had hoped that the two men would get along without her present as a mediator.

Vincent grew serious. "Tifa, I've decided that if they can make me a new body, that I will go for it."

"Of course you will, Vincent." She knitted her brows. "Why wouldn't you?"

"It's just scary to think of my body being messed with yet again I guess." He shook his head, "but if it's what I have to do in order to be normal, then I will do it."

"You never cease to amaze me." Tifa smiled and then kissed him.


	13. 149 Decisions

Guilt's Cost CXLIX

Decisions

By Kristen Gupton-Williams

Several days went by as Tifa and Vincent remained at Cid's house. Their worries about his single parent coping skills were put to rest as it became clear to them that he was very much capable. When the baby would wake up at night, Cid got to him within minutes without complaining. He often would end up taking the infant to bed with him on particularly difficult nights. Tifa watched his actions and was very pleased with his progress over the past several weeks. Before this all had happened, if anyone had suggested to her that Cid could successfully raise a child alone she would have laughed but now she knew better.

Vincent and Cid also were getting along better, although at times they still did seem to enjoy making each other miserable just for the sake of doing so. There were times that Tifa would just leave the room when the two men started harassing each other, not able to bear their mutual stupidity.

Then one day while they were sitting at the kitchen table, Cid signaled them to be quiet. After listening for a few moments, he looked over at Vincent. "I think your ride is here."

Vincent got up and looked out the window as the sound grew louder. To his surprise, it was Tseng's airship preparing to land just outside town. He turned back to face Tifa. "It's Tseng's ship."

She got up and came over to his side. "Why didn't he call before sending it?"

"I don't know, but I guess we'll find out soon enough." He replied.

They made their way to the field where the airship was mooring and waited. When the door opened, they saw Tseng step out.

Excited to see his brother, Vincent ran over to him. "What are you doing here?"

Tseng smiled and placed a hand on Vincent's shoulder. "We have much to discuss."

"What do you mean?" Vincent was confused. "What's going on?"

Tseng smiled and shook his head. "Nothing bad. There have just been some developments that you need to know about."

"You should have called." Vincent frowned. "There was no need for you to fly all the way out here."

"No, Tsuvati, there are things that we need to talk about in person." Tseng motioned over to Tifa and Cid. "I think all of you should come onboard for a moment, all right?"

Vincent, unsure of what was transpiring waited for his wife and Cid to get closer. "Tseng wants us all to come on the ship for a moment."

Cid shifted the sleeping baby in his arms. "Fine. This bird probably needs to be checked out by a real pilot anyway."

They all boarded and followed as Tseng led them all to the briefing room on the ship. As the doors opened, Vincent immediately saw that Porter, Quigley, and Dr. Arlin were sitting at the table within. He went with Tifa and sat opposite to the others, while Cid had already managed to disappear, presumably making his way to the bridge.

Tseng landed in the seat at the head of the table and smiled over at his brother. "Quigley I believe has something to tell you."

Vincent felt a sweat break out across his skin as he turned his eyes to the scientist. "Really?"

Quigley smiled briefly before fishing through the disorganized pile of papers before him. After finding the right one he looked up. "As you know, I took a sample of your hair before you left in an attempt to find some normal DNA. Much to my surprise, I was able to find some unaltered sequences."

Tifa leaned forward. "So you can make him a new body?"

"Well, yeah." Quigley replied, tossing the paper he had been holding back onto the pile.

"Oh my God…" Vincent couldn't believe it. In his shock he grabbed onto the edge of the table to steady himself. 

Seeing the color drain from Vincent's face, Tifa put her arms around him to help support him. "This is unbelievable!"

"No, just unlikely." Quigley responded. "Now, working with Porter here I'm pretty certain we can get a growth accelerator built. If Hojo's research is right, the new accelerator design should be able to grow you a complete body within a matter of months, depending of course on how old you want to be."

"When you mean a 'complete body', what are we talking about here? Just replacing my limbs and torso or what?" Vincent asked, his voice quivering.

"A complete body as in the whole thing." Quigley ran a hand over the table's surface. "If you want to be normal, _completely_ normal, then we have to grow an entire body, minus of course a brain. If we just grafted what was missing onto what you are now, you would still continue to not age, and there is a possibility that your existing altered DNA would infect the new body. Therefore, we should only transplant into the new body those things made of cells that don't for the most part reproduce, which would be your central nervous system."

Vincent was overwhelmed by this. They were talking about something from science fiction movies. "A brain transplant?"

"Well, your brain along with several inches of your spinal column." Quigley smiled, knowing that this all did sound rather fantastic.

"I thought that was impossible." Vincent sighed.

"Well without all that I learned from Hojo, it is." Quigley laughed, "but everything we need to pull off he had already perfected. From the cloning techniques to the stem cell grafts that will allow your nervous system to connect with the new body was all figured out."

Vincent couldn't believe that his ultimate salvation was coming as a result from the madman's experiments. "Wow…"

To Tifa, this all sounded outlandish, but moreover, it sounded dangerous. "What is the risk that Vincent will die?"

Dr. Arlin cleared her throat. "Actually, technically, he will die during the procedure. His body will be cooled to a state of profound hypothermia, his heart will be stopped, his brain activity reduced to the point of being undetectable. The real question is will we be able to bring him back once the transplant is completed. And if all that I have read in the research brought back from Midgar is correct, I think that chance is very good."

Vincent turned and looked at Tifa. He was shaking terrible and the color still hadn't come back to his face. "Tifa…"

"Is it what you want?" She asked, brushing his cheek with her hand. Her own fears over the procedure for the moment overshadowed by Vincent's feelings.

His voice barely more than a whisper, Vincent answered, "Yes."

Quigley nodded. "Then the only question remaining is how old you want your new body to be."

Vincent was caught off guard by this important question. After thinking for a moment, he picked what seemed to be to him the only reasonable answer. "The same age as Tifa."


	14. 150 Bequeathment

Guilt's Cost CL

Bequeathment

By Kristen Gupton-Williams

Vincent remained where he sat as the others broke up and dispersed into the ship. Soon he was sitting alone in the room with only Tifa and Tseng. His mind was spinning at what was going on and what he had just been told.

Tifa continued to cling to him tightly, both excited and terribly afraid. She found it hard to speak. "Oh Vincent, I can't believe it."

He just nodded in response, not knowing what to say.

"I will be taking the ship back to Costa del Sol soon so that Quigley and his team can get underway." Tseng leaned back in his chair. "It will take them several weeks to get the accelerator built, and then several more months to produce the body. If you would like to remain here in Rocket for a while, that would be fine with me."

Vincent looked down at Tifa for a moment before turning to his brother. "I think Tifa would like it if we stayed here for a while longer. There doesn't seem to be a pressing need for us to be back at the base for the time being anyway."

"Good enough." Tseng sighed before getting up. "I know Quigley is anxious to get to work on this and Dr. Arlin has a lot of research to go over so she will know what will be needed for the procedure. We will be taking off shortly. I suggest going and finding Mr. Highwind and ripping him from the navigation controls so we can leave."

Tifa smiled, knowing that somehow Cid most likely was on the bridge. She rose up and then offered her hand to Vincent. "Come on, let's go get him."

Vincent followed somewhat unsteadily, still in some amount of shock. He went with her out of the room, only turning back to give his brother a short goodbye.

They made their way to the bridge and found Cid just as they suspected. He was sitting at the helm of the airship hollering at the crew about the levels on various gauges not being to his liking. The men huddled around him were wearing expressions of shame and confusion as they were verbally assaulted by the stranger with the baby in his arms.

Tifa went over and placed a hand on Cid's shoulder. "Come on, it's time for us to go."

He looked up at her incredulously. "These morons don't know what in the Hell they are doing to this ship! They are running her into the ground. Why doesn't Sunshine's little sister get some men on this bird who know what they are doing?"

Tifa crossed her arms over her chest and cocked her head. "I'm sure that Vincent's _brother's _men are perfectly capable of running this air ship." 

"My ass they are." Cid mumbled as he reluctantly pulled himself out of the captain's chair. He gave the bridge one lingering look before heading out.

Tifa sighed as Cid pushed past her and Vincent. "Poor guy, he really misses the old ship we had way back when doesn't he?"

"It would seem so." Vincent smiled at her. "Either that or he misses screaming at his crew. I'm not quite sure which."

Tifa laughed and hit Vincent playfully in the shoulder. "In any event, I think we better go before he stows away on this thing."

"You're right." Vincent led her from the bridge.

They exited the ship and watched as it took back off into the sky. Vincent and Tifa remained alone in the field for some time, as Cid had already gone home. Vincent, still absorbed in his thoughts was silent for a long time. When he finally did speak, it was quietly. "I can't believe this…"

Tifa, having her arms around his waist looked up into his eyes. "I know, it just doesn't seem possible, but they all seemed fairly convinced that it can be done."

"I know." He sighed and shook his head. The overwhelming reality of it all crushed in on him and he felt the sting of tears in his eyes.

Seeing his change in expression, Tifa grew concerned. "What's wrong?"

A wide smile broke across his lips. "I'm just so happy…"

***

The rest of the day passed without incident and eventually they all turned in for the evening. Vincent was restless all night as he was tormented by his thoughts. Morning found Vincent awake next to Tifa who was still soundly sleeping. He heard the baby start crying just a little after five in the morning and shortly thereafter he could make out the sounds of Cid clamoring around the kitchen.

Deciding that this was as good a time as any to talk to the pilot, Vincent slipped out of bed. He didn't bother to put anything on, as he had come to accept that his mechanical anatomy really had nothing worth hiding. Besides, he figured it might do Cid some good to see exactly what had been done to him.

He made his way silently to the kitchen and walked over to where Cid was sitting, offering the infant a bottle.

Cid looked up, a little surprised to see Vincent up and even more shocked to see the state he was in. "What's wrong?"

Vincent shrugged and pulled out a chair before sitting. "Nothing."

"It's not like you to go spooking around the house naked at zero dark thirty." Cid was doing his best not to stare but found himself doing so nonetheless.

"Why not? It's no as though I have anything to cover up." Vincent folded his hands on the table in front of him. "But I do need to talk to you."

"About what?" Cid asked, as he shifted the baby from one arm to the other. "You sure as hell ain't looking for advice from me, right?"

"Not exactly." Vincent flashed a brief smile.

"You're not having second thoughts about getting hooked up to a new body are you?" Cid narrowed his eyes.

"No, I've resolved that I am going through with it, as long as you promise me something." Vincent lowered his voice as he tried to hide the pain within him.

"What's that?" Cid's curiosity had the better of him now.

Vincent gathered himself and stared down at his hands. "The procedure is not without its risks as you can imagine. Knowing that you are the only one on this world, save perhaps Jaras, that cares about Tifa as much as I do, I need to know that you will take care of her if I don't live."

Cid was taken aback by this and thought for a moment. "Me? Why not ask Jaras?"

Vincent broke into a smile. "I think we both know that Jaras is in no position to be supportive to Tifa in the way she would need. Besides, I know very well that Tifa loves you very much and she and Jaras don't share that."

Cid was again dumbstruck. "God Vincent…"

"Look Cid," Vincent locked gazes with the other man, "I just need to know that you'll be there for her, that's all. And if out of that, something more develops, you have my full support."

"God damned, Vincent." Cid leaned back in his chair. "Sounds like you don't think you'll live through this."

"There is a chance I may not." Vincent shrugged. "It is just for my peace of mind to know that if I don't make it, Tifa will have someone to lean on."

"Of course I'd be there for her." Cid placed the now empty bottle on the table as he hoisted the baby onto his shoulder. "And I appreciate your approval of Tifa being with me, but I'm sure she'd be on the market for someone her own age. I think we both know she wouldn't want me."

"I'm not saying that she would end up with you, but if she did, I wouldn't mind. Remember, I'm a hell of a lot older than you, Fly Boy." Vincent grinned again before dropping his gaze.

"Okay." Cid sighed as he finally got the baby to burp. He then cradled the sleeping infant in his arms. He for a moment did wonder about what life would be like with Tifa, and he had to admit it was appealing. As soon as they came however, he shook these images off. "I can't believe we've gotten to the point where you would ask me this."

Vincent laughed quietly. "I know, it is weird but like I said I know there is a certain connection between you two."

Cid flushed red for a moment. "Thanks. You're right though. I do like Tifa… a lot. Hell, I always have I guess. She's a great girl."

Vincent smiled and got up. "Well, you're a great guy. I just feel better knowing that I can rely on you."

"Sure." Cid watched as Vincent left, still in shock over what had just been said.

A/N: I promise the next chapter won't take so long to get up. I've just been a little busy.


	15. 151 Regression

Guilt's Cost: Part CLI

Regression

By Kristen Gupton-Williams

Vincent started back toward the guestroom he and Tifa shared, hoping to find her still asleep. That hope crumbled however when he ran flat into her just a few paces down the hall.

The look on her face was odd, and at once Vincent feared that she had just overheard he and Cid talking. "Tifa, what are you doing up?"

She just blinked up at him in the darkness before turning back and running into the room, slamming the door in Vincent's face.

He stood there stunned for a few moments, feeling his stomach knot. He wracked his brain, recalling the entire conversation he and Cid had just finished wondering what she may have heard to elicit such a response. Slowly, he reached out and opened the door only to find Tifa standing with her arms across her chest staring out the window. He took a few steps toward her. "Tifa?"

"Go away." She said curtly.

"Why are you so angry?" He asked, genuinely wanting to know.

She turned toward him, eyes blazing. "So you think that if you die you can hook me up with Cid and everything will be fine?"

He moved a little closer. "No, that's not it at all…"

"You just decided that you could 'give' me to Cid? Pass me off like some sort of item in your will?" She stepped back, not allowing Vincent any sort of proximity.

"I just wanted to make sure that he would be there for you if I didn't make it, that's all." Vincent felt down right nauseous.

"Then what was all that 'you have my approval if something more happens' crap? And 'you and Tifa have such chemistry'?" She spat back at him.

"So what, you don't think that you and Cid have a special relationship?" He retorted.

"Yes, we do." Tifa flipped a hand at him. "A special _friendship,_ and that's it, nothing more, nothing less. Just because you die doesn't mean that I'm gonna climb into bed with Cid."

Despite his better judgement, Vincent allowed his temper to flare. "Why not? You've climbed into bed with him on plenty of other occasions."

In her now boiling rage, Tifa picked up her brush from the dresser and hurled it at Vincent. "I may have gotten in bed with Cid but I never fucked him! Is that what you think?"

Vincent allowed the brush to harmlessly ricochet off his left shoulder. "I never thought you had. But I don't see why you haven't. Obviously I can no longer do the things for you he can."

Meanwhile, in the nursery, Cid was putting his son to bed. When he heard the yelling start in the other room, he at first dismissed it as a marital spat but when he heard his own name being thrown around, he decided to intervene. "It's too fucking early for this."

Back in their guestroom the argument was going from bad to worse.

If her voice had been harsh before, now it was downright shrill. "Just go back to your brother's and have your stupid procedure!"

Vincent was hit hard by this statement. "Is that what this is all about?"

"It's about you being a selfish son of a bitch." Tifa batted back.

Vincent suddenly realized that she wasn't mad at him at all, she was terrified that he _wasn't_ going to live. And when she had overheard him speaking to Cid, she had come to believe that Vincent himself doubted his own survival. As much as he now knew he should calm down, something within him kept his blood hot.

At that moment, Cid threw the door to the room open. "What the fuck has gotten into you two?"

Tifa just froze and stared at the pilot agape. Vincent on the other hand spun and faced him. Not only was his anger not receding as it should, but it was growing more fierce. "Stay the Hell out of this!"

Cid raised his eyebrows, never one to back down. "You're in my house, throwing around my name. I think I'm already involved, Sunshine."

Vincent's entire posture changed. "I'm not in the mood to deal with you right now, Cid."

Tifa's eyes grew wide as she realized that something was very, _very_ wrong with Vincent. "Cid, get back!"

He looked past Vincent and over at Tifa. "What the hell is going on?"

Tears came to Tifa's eyes as an impossible realization came to her. "Cid, get back, please! It's not Vincent!"

"Oh shit." Cid said simply as he took a step back. "I thought you said he didn't do this anymore!"

Vincent, no longer in control of himself took a step forward in pursuit of Cid. He had every intention of killing him.

Cid, not knowing what else to do, fled down the hall only to find himself cornered in his own bedroom. Vincent had quickly followed him and now stood in the doorway cutting off all escape for the pilot. Tifa had also ran out of the guestroom, finding herself in the helpless position of being in the hallway behind her possessed husband. "Vincent, stop this!"

He glanced back over his shoulder for a brief moment regarding her, before turning back toward Cid. He took a few steps into the room, planning on how exactly to take down his quarry. 

Not knowing what else he could do, Cid picked up the dusty spear that had been resting in the corner of the room for several years. He held its lethal tip out before him and locked gazes with Vincent. "Come on man, snap the Hell out of it! I don't wanna have to hurt you!"

He smirked in response. "I'm not scared of you and your little toy."

"Chaos, knock it off!" Tifa demanded, as she hauled off and kicked Vincent in the back as hard as she could manage. She quickly came to regret this action as her leg at once stung from striking his unforgiving metallic body.

Vincent barely reacted to Tifa's attack, only lurching forward a few steps closer to Cid. He brought his hands up slightly as he prepared to lunge. "I'm going to enjoy this. I've wanted to rip you apart for a long time, Highwind. And once I'm done with that, I'm going to have some fun with Tifa… and who knows what I'll do to that little brat of yours."

"I can't let you do that." Cid closed his eyes as he thrusted forward with the pike in his hands, not wanting to see what he was about to do.


	16. 152 Damage Control

Guilt's Cost: Part CLII

Damage Control

By Kristen Gupton-Williams

The sickly sound of metal being pierced by Cid's spear filled the room. Vincent at once stopped his advance as Chaos slipped out of control. Vincent's consciousness was slammed back into his body and he looked down in confusion upon feeling the pain in the lower right side of his abdomen.

Cid felt the spear jerked from his hands as Vincent staggered backward, taking the weapon that was embedded in his body with him. At once it was clear to the pilot that Vincent was himself again and seeing the pained expression on his face made him almost sick. "Oh shit…"

Vincent took another shaky step back as he continued to stare down at the wound. He had no real idea of what had happened or why Cid's weapon was stuck into him. "What happened?"

Tifa, who was standing behind Vincent, could see the silver tip of the spear protruding from his back as it had passed cleanly through him. "Vincent! Oh no…"

Slowly, Vincent reached down and placed his hands on the shaft of the spear and began to pull it out. This was no small task as the metal of his body tried to hold fast to the weapon but finally it relented. He allowed the spear to fall to the floor as his eyes remained fixed on the wound. Shortly after the weapon was removed, a viscous clear liquid began to ooze forth from his body. Within a matter of seconds, Vincent felt all the strength in his right leg and arm fade and he collapsed.

Tifa knelt at his side, tears burning in her eyes. She felt completely helpless and cradled Vincent to her. "Vincent, come on, are you okay?"

Cid came over, his face a ghastly shade due to his shock. "Shit… did I kill him?"

Vincent opened his eyes and blinked up at the pilot. "I am not dead, Cid."

Although his voice was weak, it was a huge relief to Cid. He fell to his knees before Vincent to inspect what had been done. "Do you think I hit anything important?"

Vincent actually had to think for a moment, as the pain he was in clouded his mind. Still having no real idea of what had occurred he wasn't certain. "I can't move my right side…"

Cid reached out and touched the fluid still trickling from the wound. He brought it up and felt it between his fingers before smelling it. He knitted his brow and huffed. "Hydraulic oil. I must have hit the line that serves your right side."

In his shocked state, this held little meaning to Vincent. All he knew was that he was half paralyzed and didn't like it. "Can it be fixed?"

"Everything can be fixed, Sunshine." Cid scoffed, returning to his normal self. "The question is, do we fix you if you're gonna go psycho on us again?"

"Chaos?" Vincent turned his neck so he could look at Tifa. "Is that what happened?"

She just nodded to him, continuing to hold him tightly.

"How?" Vincent's voice wavered. "How can that be?"

"I don't know, but that's what happened." Cid answered for him, getting up. "I think I should get on the phone to Tseng."

Both Tifa and Vincent looked at him with approval.

***

Despite the early hour Tseng was already up and dressed, making his way down one of the many corridors within the airship. There were things that he had to attend to even while still on the way home to Costa del Sol. He pulled the phone from his pocket as it started to ring. "Hello?"

"Hey, it's Cid." The pilot's voice cracked.

Tseng knew at once that something was terribly wrong. "What is it, Mr. Highwind?"

"It's Vincent." Cid sighed as he ran his free hand through his hair. "He did that fucking Chaos thing again."

"No, you're not serious are you?" He asked, knowing full well that Cid was not in the business of joking.

"It's no shit." Cid huffed back. "He flipped out and came after me. I had to defend myself…"

"What happened?" Tseng steadied himself against the nearest wall. His heart pounded with his anxiety.

"I speared him." Cid replied, matter of factly.

Suddenly feeling sick to his stomach, Tseng took a few moments to respond. "Oh God, is he okay?"

"Well," Cid shrugged despite the fact that he was on the phone, "I got him pretty good, but it looks like all I did was hit a hydraulic line or something. He doesn't seem to be able to move his right side in any event."

"Damn it." Tseng slammed a hand into the wall he was leaning on. "I don't see how this could happen!"

"Me neither." Cid said back. "Everything's fine at the moment but I thought I should call you right away."

"I appreciate that." Tseng sighed, stepping away from the wall as he concentrated on calming down. "All right, let me talk to some of my men and I'll get back to you when I figure something out."

"Fair enough," Cid's tone was apprehensive, "but just so you know, if he threatens Tifa or my kid, I have no qualms about taking him out."

Tseng swallowed hard, well aware that the pilot was dead serious and rightly so. "I understand, bye."

"Bye." Cid hung up.

After a few moments of thought, Tseng ran to the room Quigley was in.

***

Cid set the phone back into its cradle and went back toward where Tifa and Vincent were huddled in the hall. "Okay, I got a hold of your little sister, Sunshine."

In his pain, Vincent hardly flinched at the way Cid referred to both him and his brother. "What did he say?"

"He's gonna call back in a little." Cid said, picking up his spear from the floor and going to prop it back up in the corner of his room.

Tifa looked over at him. "Can you help me get Vincent to the bed?"

Cid sighed, already knowing how heavy Vincent was. "Yeah, all right."

He half carried, half dragged Vincent back to the guestroom and laid him out on the bed. He then looked again at the wound he had inflicted. In the better light offered here, Cid was able to visualize the damage done better.

Tifa, seeing that Cid was inspecting the injury, came to his side. "What is it?"

"Pretty much what I expected." Cid said, straightening up. I just cut a line. I can fix it."

Tifa looked at Vincent as Cid disappeared into the hall. "Oh that's great."

Vincent frowned, but it wasn't from his obvious pain. "I don't want him working on me."

"You mean to tell me that you would rather be half paralyzed then let Cid fix you?" Tifa crossed her arms. "I know you don't like being messed with, but honestly Vincent."

The thought of Cid actually working on him was making Vincent very nervous. "Tifa, just have him leave me alone, okay? I'm sure Tseng will have someone here quickly."

"Okay, so let me put it this way to you," Tifa scoffed. "You either let Cid fix you and end your pain, or he's going to have to be the one helping you to the bathroom every few hours because you know damned well that I'm not near strong enough to haul you around."

Vincent just blinked up at her for a few moments as the reality of what she had just said sank in. At once the memory of having to be assisted going to the bathroom when his body was short-circuited after the escape from the lab surfaced. That was bad enough, but the thought of Cid having to do for him what the male nurse did was by far more humbling. Besides, he knew full well that Cid would never, _ever_ let him live it down. "Fine, have it your way."


	17. 153 Repair

Guilt's Cost: Part CLIII

Repair

By Kristen Gupton-Williams

Several minutes later, Cid came returned to the room with a box full of tools in hand. He sat next to Vincent and stared down at the injury. "How do I open up that part of you to get inside?"

Vincent cocked an eyebrow at the sheer oddness of the question. He then reached down with his left hand and flicked open the damaged panel. "Like that."

Cid inspected the inner workings now exposed to him and huffed. "You know, you got some really weird shit in here."

"Just get on with it, okay?" Vincent replied, looking over at Tifa who was obviously amused at their interaction.

"Fine." Cid rummaged around his toolbox for a moment before coming up with a length of tubing. "I think this will work."

Tifa and Vincent just watched in silence as Cid proceeded to pull out the severed line and install the new one. The pilot inspected the line he had removed thoughtfully. "This is weird."

"What?" Vincent asked, trying to see although he was still unable to move well.

"There's a wire imbedded in this tubing." Cid said, before turning his attention back to Vincent's insides. "There are terminals at both ends of the line where the wire hooks up. I wonder what the hell that's for."

Vincent, not knowing himself was intrigued. "I have no idea."

Cid frowned and again started digging through his toolbox. After a few moments he managed to find a short length of wire. He reached back into Vincent's body and installed the two ends of the wire into the terminals. "Well?"

Vincent smiled weakly. Cid had stopped the pain he was in by replacing the wire. "It doesn't hurt anymore."

"Good." Cid sat thoughtful for a moment. "Now, I've fixed the line, but you lost a lot of fluid. I'm gonna have to recharge your system with hydraulic oil before you'll work right again."

"Okay." Vincent nodded. 

"Don't get excited yet," Cid got up from the bed and looked down at his patient, "I'm not going to completely fill you up. I'm going to give you enough hydraulic oil to allow you to move, but not enough to give you back any sort of speed or strength. I'd be an idiot to put you in top form when God knows how often your going to flip out."

"As long as I can get to the bathroom on my own, I couldn't care less." Vincent mumbled, sinking down into his pillow.

"That's the _only _reason I'm fixing you at all." Cid called back as he retreated back toward the garage to get the fluid to recharge Vincent.

Tifa took this opportunity to return to Vincent's side. "You're okay?"

He avoided eye contact with her. "Yeah, I'm fine."

She took up his immobile right hand. "Look, about earlier…"

Vincent looked at her and cut her off. "Don't worry about it. I know why you're angry and I can't blame you for it."

"It's just that I'm so scared that you won't make it." Tifa held back her tears as best she could. "I know it's really important to you to have a normal body but I'm not willing to lose you in order for you to have that. Maybe it's selfish on my part, but I would rather have you like this than not at all. Because to me, it seem selfish of you to risk losing your life for something I don't think you really need."

"I know," Vincent didn't want her to worry, "but look, I have every intention of surviving this, okay? I mean, I haven't come this far just to die now. And it is selfish of me to risk everything for this, but if I don't do this, Tifa, I'll never be what you deserve. I want to be normal again so that I can live the rest of my life with you, growing old with you. Then, when it's time, I'll die. Those are all things that I can't do like this. I will never age, and unless Cid gets a hold of me again, I probably won't die."

Tifa couldn't help but smile at his words. "Well don't give Cid a reason to kill you before you do get your stupid body, okay?"

"I'll do what I can." Vincent smiled back at her.

Soon Cid came back with a few cans of oil in his hands. He sat back down at Vincent's side after Tifa moved out of the way. He looked around for a bit before finding the fill port. "Okay, listen to me real careful, Sunshine. Don't even think of moving for the next few minutes. If you do and I get sprayed with this fluid I'm going to be god damned pissed."

"I won't." Vincent replied, all the while thinking how amusing it would be to have Cid dowsed in oil. Deciding on the better part of valor he relaxed and resigned not to give Cid what he had coming.

After pouring some of the oil into Vincent, Cid replaced the cap to his hydraulic reservoir, flipped closed the panel, and sat up. "Can you move at all?"

Very weakly, Vincent was able to raise his right arm again. He then attempted to get up which took a considerable amount of time as the low pressure in his system made the hydraulic rams work slowly. He did finally manage to get up. "Seems I can get around."

"But not well enough to go chasing anyone, right?" Cid asked, as he picked up his toolbox from the floor.

"Doubtful." Vincent replied as he hung onto Tifa for support.

Cid grumbled to himself as he heard his son begin to cry again. "Great, spend all my free time between feedings messing around with you. Fabulous."

***

After several moments of knocking, Tseng gave up and opened the door before him. Quigley was sitting before a computer terminal, completely absorbed in something. Tseng walked right up behind him and placed a hand on the younger man's shoulder. "I need to talk to you."

Quigley jumped up from his seat and screeched, having been taken entirely by surprise. "God Tseng, where did you come from?"

Not able to help himself from the obvious, Tseng smiled. "Wutai, but I thought you knew that."

Quigley smirked as he relaxed. "Nice one."

"Seriously, you didn't hear me beating down the door for the last five minutes?" Tseng asked, crossing his arms.

"No, I'm afraid I didn't." He shrugged, pointing back at the computer screen. "I was reading some more of the research I pirated out of the lab."

"Oh, I see." Tseng walked over to a chair and sat down. "I need to talk to you about something."

"What?" The scientist asked, turning the chair he had been occupying around to face Tseng.

"It's my brother." He sighed heavily as his own mind agonized over the news he had received. "You know that when he was taken into the lab by Hojo several weeks ago, that he was given some sort of injection that presumably removed the Chaos demon from him, right?"

"Yes." Quigley leaned forward in his seat; his interest was instantly piqued. 

"Well, I just got a call from Mr. Highwind and he told me that Vincent had displayed that same demon this morning and attacked him." He shook his head in disbelief.

"Wow…" Quigley was at once set to thinking. "I wonder what happened."

"That's what I need to know, and also if there is anything that you can do about it." Tseng knew that the man before him was most likely his only hope. "That demon is dangerous, I don't need to tell you that. There must be a way to end it once and for all. Do you think you can help?"

Quigley raised his eyebrows for a moment. "I downloaded just about everything from Hojo's computers in the lab. If he has any information on it, I probably have it. Let me search my files and I'll let you know."

"All right, but please be fast." Tseng remembered clearly Cid's threat. "Lives depend on it. I'm going up to the bridge to have this airship turned around. We will be back in Rocket by tomorrow morning."

"Okay, I'll see what I can do." Quigley ended the conversation by spinning in his seat and getting back to the computer.


	18. 154 Table Manners

Guilt's Cost: Part CLIV

Table Manners

By Kristen Gupton-Williams

Vincent made his way out to the kitchen and sat with Tifa's help. She then got to the task of making something for breakfast from the scant ingredients to be found in the cupboards. After some foraging she managed to come up with a box of pancake mix and got to the task of making enough for both the men and herself.

While she did this, Cid emerged from the nursery with the baby in his arms and got to making a bottle for the crying infant. Having to work around someone else in the kitchen was clearly annoying him in his already soured mood. Once the bottle was mixed, he landed on the opposite side of the table from Vincent and started the child's feeding. It wasn't much later the Tifa dropped plates onto the table before the men and started loading them with pancakes. 

Cid was going to have to wait until the baby was done before eating, but still had to make a comment. "What, we supposed to eat these dry?"

Tifa turned from the griddle and placed her hands on her hips. "No thank you or anything? All you can do is complain that I haven't gotten the syrup out quick enough for you? You're terrible, Cid."

He just grimaced at her before turning his attention back to the infant. As much as he didn't like being reprimanded by her, Cid knew that she was in no mood for his crap and so relented.

Vincent, deciding that he should probably get the needed things from the refrigerator himself slowly rose from his seat. Somewhat unsteadily he managed to the fridge and opened it with his stronger left arm. He searched its contents until coming up with both the butter and syrup. That was the one thing that was nice here at Cid's; the butter was real butter, and the syrup was also the real deal, not that light tasteless garbage that had made its way into all the other kitchens of the world. With what he needed in hand, Vincent turned back and got to the table. He set the things down and then sat before preparing his pancakes.

Tifa looked over her shoulder and smiled. "See, at least Vincent isn't helpless."

"Would have been if not for me, thank you very much." Cid scoffed back.

In a lapse of judgement, Vincent stuck his tongue out at the pilot once Tifa wasn't looking again.

"You little fucker!" Cid growled, hurling the empty bottle at Vincent's head.

Tifa turned around just in time to see Vincent pelted by the bottle. "Cid!"

He at once looked guilty as all get out. "Tifa, he was making a face!"

She turned the grill off and scooped up the last two pancakes from it, then bringing her own plate to the table. "Honestly, having the both is you is just like having real kids."

Cid rolled his eyes and got up. "I'm gonna go change the kid."

"Hurry up before your breakfast is ice cold." Tifa called after him.

"I can't believe we went from screaming fest, to Chaos breakout, to family breakfast." Vincent commented between mouthfuls.

"Don't even get me started on you." Tifa pointed her fork at him. "I saw you antagonize Cid into throwing that bottle at you."

"You weren't even looking!" Vincent laughed, playing the innocent.

"Nice try, but I could see everything you two were doing in the reflection of the glass on the cabinet doors." Tifa replied, smiling coyly.

Vincent suddenly returned to his normal serious demeanor. "I just can't understand how in the hell Chaos is back…"

Tifa shrugged. "I can't imagine. I thought he was dead."

"So did I." Vincent sighed.

Cid came back into the room after having placed his son in the crib. "Looks like the kid decided to pass back out for the time being."

The three of them proceeded to eat in silence. Although the day was young, it already felt very long to them. 

***

Tseng was standing on the bridge of the airship, looking over the helmsman's shoulder as he steered the ship back toward Rocket. He was anxious to get back to Tifa and Vincent, fearing somehow that if he wasn't around and Chaos came back the results would be fatal for at least one of them. By being on the bridge, he at least felt as though he was in some degree of control.

Quigley stepped onto the bridge, looking disheveled as usual. He made his way over to Tseng. "I think I got it."

Tseng cocked an eyebrow. "Let's hear it."

"Okay." He sat down in an empty navigation seat. "It's like this; have you ever been put on antibiotics?"

Not knowing exactly where this was headed, Tseng narrowed his eyes and decided to play along. "Of course."

"And have you ever quit taking those antibiotics before the doctor recommended?" Quigley ran a hand through his hair.

Medical compliance had never been one of Tseng's strong points. Maybe it ran in the family. "Well, yes."

"And what happened?" Quigley was getting more excited.

"I got sick again." Tseng answered simply.

"Bingo." Quigley seemed quite self-satisfied. "Hojo dosed Mr. Valentine with enough of the anti-Chaos drug to destroy most of the demon's DNA but a few isolated cells escaped unscathed."

"And it's taken those cells all this time to reinfect my brother?" Tseng speculated.

"Exactly." Quigley leaned back in his chair. "So the trick is to retreat Mr. Valentine with that same chemical, but this time use enough to ensure its done right."

"What are the chances of some of the demon's DNA getting transplanted into the new body?" Tseng asked.

"Well, theoretically, if we give him a long enough course of treatment we should be able to nail all of the infected cells." Quigley shrugged. "We'll need to make sure that he is in fact clean before the procedure, since I've learned that the Chaos DNA is even able to invade the cells of the central nervous system, which is why the monster can control him."

Tseng nodded. "My next question is will you be able to replicate the drug?"

He smiled at his boss as he pulled out a CD from his pocket and held it up. "All the information for producing that chemical is on here."

"Whatever you do, don't lose that." Tseng grinned back.


	19. 155 Sentiments

Guilt's Cost: Part CLV

Sentiments

By Kristen Gupton-Williams

By mid afternoon Cid, Tifa, and Vincent had moved into the living room and were half-heartedly watching television. As time wore on, Tifa grew increasingly tired from getting up too early and the stressful morning. It wasn't too long before she went to go lie down for a nap leaving Cid and Vincent alone.

Cid sat in his usual chair with the baby dozing in his arms. Vincent was on the couch, slumped over onto his side also feeling the fatigue from the morning. A long uncomfortable silence passed between he and Cid before Vincent finally spoke up. "You would kill me, wouldn't you?"

After rolling his eyes, Cid looked over at his companion. "Well what in the hell do you think? I'm just gonna let that psycho living in you kill me, Tifa, and the kid?"

"No, of course not." Vincent didn't really know where he was headed with this conversation. "Was there any reservation on your part about stabbing me, or did you just go for it?"

Cid cocked an eyebrow. "Look Sunshine, I know that wasn't you."

"So you had no problem retaliating?" Vincent pressed on.

"You want to know the fucking truth?" This conversation was pointed at deciphering Cid's feelings and he was getting annoyed. "Yeah, I hated to do it. In fact, I closed my god damned eyes 'cause I didn't want to look as I potentially killed you, Chaos or not."

"Really?" Vincent was, on some level very touched.

He huffed; wishing Vincent would drop it. "Yeah, funny seeing how I usually really enjoy trying to kill my friends."

"Did you just call me your friend?" Vincent asked, sitting up straight.

"You know, you're as bad as Tifa needing to get into all this emotional crap." Cid scowled.

Vincent thought for a few moments. "What were you most afraid I would do?"

"Hurt Tifa or my boy." Cid said curtly.

"You were more concerned about them than yourself?" Vincent asked.

"More concerned for them than myself or _you_." Cid said. "Look, I know you're gonna agree that if it came down to either killing you or having Tifa hurt you would want me to take you out. And protecting my kid is a no brainer."

"Yeah, you're right." Vincent smiled faintly. "I would rather you do that than risk me hurting Tifa."

"So I figured." Cid shifted the baby in his arms.

"Well, thanks." Vincent laid back down.

"For what?" He glanced over at Vincent. "Almost killing you?"

"For putting Tifa's safety before mine." 

"Sure, anytime you need your ass kicked, just call me up." Cid grinned to himself.

"Will do." Vincent almost laughed.

Several more minutes passed before Cid spoke up in an uncharacteristic tone. "I don't want it to come to that. Even if I killed you to save Tifa and the kid, I don't think I'd be able to cope with it very well."

"You like me that much?" Vincent was shocked that the pilot was voluntarily continuing the conversation.

"No." Cid shrugged. "But I would have to live with Tifa knowing that I killed you. I know she would be good about it, that's just her way but I would have to live with the knowledge that I took away the thing she loved most. That would just fucking kill me."

"Oh, yeah." Vincent just stared up at the ceiling. "You can always just wing me again if I get out of hand."

"You know, Chaos doesn't really leave me with a lot of choices." Cid reached down with his free arm and started fidgeting with the remote control. "But hopefully we aren't going to have to deal with that, are we?"

"I should hope not." Vincent sighed.

"Can I seriously ask you something?" Cid said; suddenly seeming to grow a little embarrassed.

Vincent was intrigued and craned his neck so he could look at the pilot. "What?"

"Why do you think that Tifa went for you?" Cid's voice was hushed.

Vincent had no good answer for this. "I really don't know, Cid. In light of who I am and what I've done, I don't know why in the hell she would want to be my friend much less anything else. I was surprised when she agreed to leave New Nibelheim with me even though Cloud was supposedly dead."

"You think it was just a matter of you being in the right place at the right time?" Cid pried on, not entirely certain of why.

"I don't know." Vincent thought back on his reunion with Tifa so many months before. "I hope not."

Cid twisted up a corner of his mouth in thought. "Maybe she suffered some sort of brain damage back in AVALANCHE."

Vincent leered over at his companion and hurled a pillow from the couch at him.

Cid easily deflected the projectile with his free arm. "You're gonna wake up the kid, Sue. Act your age."

"Then I'd need a walker and adult diapers I suppose." Vincent joked half to himself.

"How fucking old are you?" Cid asked, not really certain.

"Sixty three." Vincent replied. "Of course, I was asleep for damn near thirty years of that."

"And when you get your new body, your gonna go for Tifa's age?" Cid continued.

Vincent nodded despite his odd position. "Yeah."

"Wish I could get my body turned back about ten years or so." Cid sighed.

"Why? You seem to be in good shape." Vincent asked.

"I'm gonna be pretty near sixty by the time this kid is ready to fledge." He stared down at the baby. "And not the nice 'still twenty-something' sixty that you are. I just worry that I ain't gonna be able to keep up with the critter."

"If anyone can do it, it'd probably be you." Vincent laughed, thinking of a very old Cid being even crabbier than he presently was. "At least you get the chance to raise your kid yourself. I screwed that up."

"Yeah, that really must have sucked." Cid thought how empty his life would be if not for his child. "Losing Sephy, Jaras, whatever you call him, and then having Angel made shake and bake in a lab."

"At least I know them now, and they are fine all considering." He thought about his adult children. 

"Yeah, who would have figured, especially considering they are _yours._" Cid's tone was filled with biting sarcasm.

"We'll see who has the last laugh when your son is grown up." Vincent laughed.

Cid thought for a moment and smiled. "Yeah, who knows how I'm gonna mess this boy up."

***


	20. 156 Boarding

Guilt's Cost: Part CLVI

Boarding

By Kristen Gupton-Williams

As night fell in Rocket and everyone in the house started to prepare for bed, Cid grew increasingly worried. He feared that if Vincent and Tifa went to bed together, that he wouldn't be able to protect her from his own room. He didn't quite know how to go about confronting Vincent and Tifa regarding this. 

Soon enough, Tifa could tell that there was something on Cid's mind as the three of them sat around the kitchen table finishing off their evening drinks. "Is something wrong?"

At once he set down his glass and glanced between the two of them. "Well, it's like this; how am I gonna make sure you're safe from Chaos if you guys are locked in your room?"

Tifa and Vincent looked at each other, both not wanting to be separated but knowing that it was the right thing. After a few moments of silence, Vincent smiled at his wife. "I think you should sleep in Cid's room."

Her eyes grew wide at his suggestion, especially in light of the argument that morning. "Are you serious?"

"Yes." Vincent nodded. "I think you guys should barricade me in the guest room and then stay together for the night. That way I won't be a threat, and if Chaos does come out for some reason, you'll be able to react before I can get out."

Cid seemed all right with this plan. "Sounds fine to me."

Tifa raised her eyebrows. "Okay, I guess…"

"All right then." Vincent gave Tifa a kiss and then rose from his seat. "I'm going to head on back. Make sure that you put something heavy in front of that door."

Cid got up, handed the infant to Tifa and followed Vincent. "I think the dresser in the hall should work."

Tifa remained planted in her chair as Cid and Vincent retreated down the hall. She did what she could to remain focused on the child in her arms; not wanting to be present as her husband was imprisoned for the night.

***

Early the next morning, Tifa was lying in bed staring up at the ceiling as Cid and the baby slept beside her. She was eager to check on Vincent, since she hadn't heard a sound from him all night, but knew that she should really wait until Cid got up, just in case there were problems.

As she continued to wait for the pilot to wake up, she glanced over at the clock seeing that it was only 5:45 in the morning. She still had fifteen more minutes or so until he would wake up. Deciding that she might as well get up and get dressed, Tifa slid quietly from the bed and went into the bathroom. While brushing her teeth, she heard a familiar sound outside, and hurried to finish before running outside. Tifa made her way to the empty field, ignoring for the moment the cold air on her skin.

Soon enough, she was standing alone, watching as Tseng's airship descended. She wrapped her arms around herself to ward off her chill.

Once the ship was on the ground, Tseng emerged. He smiled upon seeing Tifa waiting for him and approached her. "Tifa, you're up early."

She threw her arms around him in relief. "I couldn't sleep."

After a few moments, he backed out of her embrace. "How are you doing?"

"Fine, considering." She replied weakly.

"Where is Vincent?" Tseng asked.

"Still in bed at the moment." Tifa shrugged. "Cid fixed him, but left him too weak to really do much. He's barricaded in his room right now. Cid thought that way he couldn't surprise us in the night."

"Good." Tseng nodded. "I needed to talk to you alone anyway."

Tifa looked up at him in some confusion. "About what?"

"Well, we can get the demon out of Vincent once and for all, but we can not tell him that." Tseng took a step closer to her.

Tifa was struck oddly by this. "Why not?"

"If Vincent knew then so would Chaos." Tseng sighed. "I think we both know that demon won't go without with a fight. If he knows we are out to kill him, Chaos would do everything in his power to take over Vincent and escape."

His words made all too much sense. "Poor Vincent, I just know he would have been so relieved to know that you can do something about the demon."

"He will be fine. This little wait until we get back to the base to get rid of Chaos isn't any worse than anything else he's been through." Tseng smiled.

"You're right." Tifa nodded in agreement. "He's tough I guess."

"Of course he is." He replied. 

Tifa thought for a moment. "How are you going to get rid of Chaos?"

"With an extended treatment of the same chemical that Hojo used to almost kill the demon the last time you and Vincent were in the lab." Tseng answered simply.

She grew very concerned. "But Tseng! Whatever Hojo gave him seriously hurt, I thought he was going to die!"

Vincent had told Tseng about how awful that moment had been but he didn't see that he had a choice. "It's the only way."

Tifa had no choice but to accept this, no matter how much it bothered her.

"I also have one other concern." Tseng said.

"What?" 

"Just as with the last time, I don't want you alone with Vincent until we get him cured." Tseng grew very serious. "I sincerely hope that you will comply with this order this time."

The painful memory of what Chaos had done to her the last time burned through her mind. Her shame was clear on her face and she dropped her gaze to the ground. "I will."

He placed an arm around her shoulders. "I just don't want you hurt again. You understand, right?" 

"Yeah," she whispered back.

They walked together back to the house in silence. When they were just a short distance away from it, they heard Cid's very distinct voice calling out. "Tifa, where the hell are you?!"

She almost had to laugh to herself as they came around the corner and into Cid's eyesight. Upon seeing her, Cid threw up his hands in the air and then went back inside. Apparently, when he had woken up finding her gone, Cid had grown concerned. So much so in fact, that he had been standing outside in only his boxers screaming for her. Much to the delight of his neighbors.

When Tifa and Tseng stepped into the house, they found Cid sitting at the kitchen table with Vincent.

Tseng went over and sat next to his brother. "Are you okay?"

Vincent smiled at him and nodded. "Yeah, and I would have been a lot better if Cid here hadn't scared the living shit out of me this morning by throwing open my door and maniacally hollering for Tifa."

Having to speak up in his own defense, Cid slammed his hand down on the table. "Hey, I had to get in there to make sure Tifa hadn't done some fool thing like crawling into that room through the window."

"I'm touched, really." Tifa interjected sarcastically. "I just went out when I heard the airship landing."

"So I gathered." Cid scoffed.

"In any event," Tseng addressed his brother, "I intend to bring you and Tifa back to the base, just to be safe."

Vincent nodded. "That's more or less what I figured."

Cid spoke up. "You're not gonna do some fucked up thing like put him back in stasis, right?"

"No, no, Mr. Highwind." Tseng smiled. "We simply intend to monitor him and make sure that he doesn't pose a threat to anyone."

Cid gave Tseng a suspicious sidelong glance, knowing that the older man wasn't above lying when it was necessary. "Right."

Tseng could feel the doubt emanating from the pilot and knew that he needed to move the discussion on before something was let out that would allow Vincent to know that a solution to his problem had been discovered. "In any event, Quigley is very anxious to get back to the lab in order to see if there is anything that he can do."

Tifa remained silent, just shifting her gaze between Vincent and his brother.

"I think Tifa and I can leave at any time." Vincent said, weakly rising from his seat.

"Good." Tseng also stood. "I will go ahead and let the crew know that we are ready."

Cid got up, shaking his head as Tseng left the room. Once they were alone, Cid spoke. "Look, Sunshine, I hope he doesn't talk you into some asinine thing. If I get word from Tifa here that you've gone back into stasis or something, I'm coming after you."

Vincent couldn't help but smile. "That's touching, Cid. It really is."

"I'm serious." Cid crossed his arms over his chest. "You've fucked with Tifa's emotions enough and I'm not gonna let you do it again."

"Aw, Cid." Tifa went over to him and embraced him. "You're such a sweetie."

The nausea was clear in Cid's expression as he pushed her away gently. "Get the hell out of here."

Tifa giggled and ran back to the bedroom to get their bags. There wasn't much to pack as she had been living out of her suitcase, and Vincent's idea of packing was Spartan at best.

While Tifa was getting their belongings, Cid locked Vincent in a heavy stare. "I've meant everything that I've said."

Vincent hung his head while nodding. "I know. I won't let her get hurt again. I swear."

"Good." Cid clapped him firmly on the back as he made his way down the hall to go check on his son. As he went toward the nursery, he ran into Tifa as she emerged from the guestroom with her bags in tow. "You're really eager to get out of here, huh?"

She smiled up at him while setting the bags on the floor. "No, but I need to get Vincent back so they can help him."

"Yeah, all right." Cid immediately seemed to grow a little uncomfortable as he stood before her.

Tifa felt his unrest and wasn't certain how to interpret it. She placed her arms around him for a farewell hug.

Cid couldn't help himself and he gave her just the shortest kiss on the lips. "Be careful, okay? I love you."

Tifa cocked an eyebrow at him as she stepped back. To have heard these words from Cid was almost earthmoving. "I will, don't worry. I love you too, you're a great friend."

He smiled weakly before motioning down the hall. "Get on with it. Sue is waiting for you."

"Okay, bye Cid." She called back at him as she retreated with her bags in hand.

"Yeah, bye." He sighed to himself as he went into his son's room. The spot left empty in his heart from Shera's death was bothering him and he knew that he would never be able to replace her. Tifa, for whatever reason seemed to be able to bring this pain up all too quickly and on some level, it was almost going to be a relief to be alone with his son again.

***

Tifa walked with Vincent leaning heavily on her. By the time they reached the airship she was starting to grow weary from supporting him. Many times on the way he asked if she needed to stop but she had politely refused, not wanting him to think that he was as heavy a burden as he really was. Right before they made the short ascent up the ramp and into the ship, Tifa had a strange feeling of tension but dismissed it as part of her fatigue. 

They stepped through the door and at once were set upon by several large crewmembers. Tifa found herself pulled away from Vincent by Tseng, who held her tightly as he moved her away from the action surrounding her husband.

Vincent caught completely off guard and weakened by what had happened to him the day before was helpless. Three large men were restraining him and they held him tight. Dr. Arlin then emerged from a nearby doorway and approached him with a loaded syringe in her hands. As she reached him, the men holding him turned Vincent and pulled up his shirt so that the remaining muscle at the top of his left shoulder was exposed to her. With one fluid motion she drove the needle into him and dosed him with something.

As soon as she was done, the men that had been holding Vincent let go and stepped back. At the same time, Tseng released his grip on Tifa. She spun to face him, furious. "What the hell was that?!"

Tseng raised his hands in defense as he looked at both her and his brother. "The doctor and I decided it would be in all of our best interest if Vincent was sedated for the duration of the trip back to the base."

Vincent rubbed his burning shoulder and stepped back to Tifa's side. "God damned it, Tseng! You could have gone about it a little better."

"Now look, Tsuvati." Tseng's tone was firm. "Had you known that we were going to sedate you there would have been the chance for Chaos to try and stop us. This way that opportunity didn't present itself."

"The fact that you assaulted me alone would have been reason enough for him to come out!" Vincent shouted, still shaken and rubbing his burning shoulder.

"Possibly, but the drug we gave you should take effect quickly and is potent enough to tranquilize either you or the demon." Dr. Arlin said, stepping to Tseng's side.

Vincent was starting to feel something taking effect and he lurched forward slightly. "Oh no…"

Tifa placed her arms around him in an attempt to keep Vincent from falling. "Tseng, you've gone too far!"

Tseng stepped up and grabbed hold of Vincent, knowing that Tifa wouldn't be able to support him for much longer. "Look Tifa, it was either we keep him drugged or keep him locked up in the brig. Which to you prefer?"

She stared at him incredulously as he tried to lead Vincent away. Tifa was so incredibly angry that she was at a loss for words. Helplessly, she followed as Tseng lead the increasingly drugged Vincent to the infirmary.


	21. 157 Flight Change

Guilt's Cost: Part CLVII

Flight Change

By Kristen Gupton-Williams

Tifa followed closely as Tseng led Vincent to the infirmary. Vincent was by now quite drugged, and was losing his grip on the present. His speech was growing slurred but Tifa could clearly make out what he kept saying over and over again. "Tseng, don't take me to the infirmary…"

Tseng disregarded his brother's pleas and pulled him forward anyway. Once they reached the door to the infirmary, two of the attending medics hoisted Vincent from Tseng and onto a corner bed. Within an instant, they had restraints placed on Vincent's arms and legs. Although these seemed redundant with Vincent as tranquilized as he was, Tseng was going to take no chances. Once the medics were out of the way, Tifa came to Vincent' s bed side, seeing that he was tied down like some sort of wild animal. Tears burned in her eyes as she watched him struggle piteously against the tie downs. He may have been drugged, but he knew what was going on and Tifa couldn't stand it. She spun and faced Tseng who was hovering behind her. "Let him up! Why the hell do you need to tie him down if you've sedated him?"

Tseng reached out and placed a hand on her shoulder. "Now Tifa, you know better than anyone how dangerous Chaos can be."

She knocked his hand from her shoulder violently. "Look at him Tseng! What can he possibly do?"

"Not much in his present state, and I intend to keep him that way." He crossed his arms over his chest, deciding that she was not going to let him off lightly.

"Couldn't you have at least warned me that you were going to do something like this?" Tifa demanded.

"As close as you are to him, and knowing how terrified he would be do you honestly think that you could have kept it from him?" Tseng retorted sharply.

With all the strength she had, Tifa backhanded him across the face. "You can't treat him like this!"

Tseng recoiled from the blow and had to steady himself against the wall for a moment. The sting in his cheek was intense. He looked over at Tifa fully expecting her to be apologetic for hitting him. She was not.

She glared at him for a few moments, not feeling bad in the least for what she had done to him, knowing that what he was currently putting Vincent through was much worse. "I don't want to see you again."

The fact that Tifa was banning him from the infirmary on his _own _ship struck Tseng as quite gutsy but he knew that for the time being he needed not to push his luck. "Fine, I shall leave you alone for now. Do not try and let him up, Mrs. Valentine or I will throw you in the brig."

To hear Tseng refer to her as Mrs. Valentine let Tifa know exactly how angry he was at her at the moment but truth be told, she couldn't have cared less. "Get away from us."

He narrowed his eyes at her before turning and walking away. As he left, he addressed the two male medics still present. "Do not allow her to interfere with his restraint. Dr. Arlin will be by in two hours to redose him. If Tifa becomes a problem in anyway, please lock her up."

The string of obscenities that were burning in her throat begged release, but Tifa decided on the better part of valor and held her tongue. In his own mind she knew that Tseng thought he was doing the right thing. It just seemed to her that he acted completely on his own authority regarding Vincent and she would have hoped that as his wife she would have had some say. Her anger was not yet ready to abate and she needed to rebel on some level before she lost her sanity. Tifa bent down close to Vincent. "Are you okay?"

His dazed yet terrified expression clearly revealed that he wasn't. "What's going on? What are they doing to me?"

"It's okay, Vincent." Tifa stroked his hair. "I won't let anyone hurt you."

"Let me go…" He begged.

"I can't, Tseng won't allow it." Tifa got a little closer. "But they know how to get Chaos out of you."

He looked up at her with a small ray of hope. "Really?"

"Yes, and as soon as we get back to the base they are going to do it." She smiled at him.

Vincent closed his eyes and lost consciousness, taking this last bit of news as some measure of relief. 

Tifa and Vincent weren't the only ones present to take note of this information.

***

Tseng stormed onto the bridge of the airship. All of the crewmembers present snapped to attention as he inspected them all. "I'm authorizing conversion."

The helmsman stood up, looking terribly concerned. "Sir, we've never tired that with this ship! We don't know what to expect or if it can even handle it!"

"Look, we need to get back to the base now, I don't have time for a leisurely two day cruise. If that wreck of an airship that AVALANCHE had seven years back could handle it, then this one can, too." Tseng spat, not wanting to hear the worried arguments of the crewmen.

The helmsman lost all the color in his face as he eyed the lever next to his station clearly marked 'Emergency'. No one on this airship had ever been aboard a vessel that had gone from propeller to jet power. It was a dangerous maneuver at best, but to have defied Tseng at this moment promised to be a lot worse.

The helmsman hit the intercom. "Emergency stations. Initializing conversion."

Back in the infirmary, Tifa barely paid any heed to the words coming over the speaker but when she saw the two men present sit down and strap in to some jump seats lining the wall, her pulse quickened. She had no idea what was about to happen but decided that maybe belting up into the seat closest to her wasn't a bad idea.

The helmsman waited for about a minute, which would give most of those aboard a chance to secure themselves before placing his hand on the lever. He closed his eyes and pulled.

The entire airship shook with a violent motion. Everyone could feel the ship suddenly loose altitude as the props were dropped and the jet engines emerged from the hull. Suddenly, the jet engines fired to life and everyone was thrown back into their seats as the ship quickly accelerated.

Tifa immediately knew what had happened as she recalled this sensation from the Highwind. Whatever was prompting Tseng to do this to the ship must be serious. She wondered if it was possible that he was speeding up the ship in order to get back to the base quicker for Vincent's sake or if something else was going on.

On the bridge, Tseng got up from his seat as the ship's motion stabilized. He walked over to the helmsman. "Everything all right?"

He looked up at his leader and smiled. "Yes Sir, she's working just fine. Our new ETA at Costa del Sol is eight hours."

Tseng smiled to himself. If this didn't prove to Tifa that he actually cared, nothing would.


	22. 158 Date

Guilt's Cost: Part CLVIII

Date

By Kristen Gupton-Williams

After the motion of the ship had stabilized, Tifa got back to Vincent's side. He was in a deep drug induced sleep now and she had no desire to wake him and force him to deal with his continued restraint. Instead, Tifa climbed up beside him in the bed and laid down, draping an arm over him in the process.

Dr. Arlin came in some time later, finding both of them asleep. The two medics that had been ordered to stay here with them were currently playing cards on a vacant bed on the opposite side of the room. She went to the drug cabinet and pulled out a vial containing the sedative she had dosed Vincent with earlier. The doctor wondered if she should cut back the amount of medication she was going to give Vincent. The previous amount had been based on her guess of how much biological content his body still had and the fact that he was still asleep may be an indication that she had overestimated. After a few moments of thought, she walked over to the medics interrupting their game. "Has he moved at all?"

They looked up at her in annoyance and then the heavier of the two spoke. "He's been out like a light."

Dr. Arlin nodded to herself knowingly before retrieving a syringe from a nearby drawer. She filled the syringe with half the amount she had previously given Vincent. Quietly she made her way to where Vincent was laying and gently exposed his upper arm before injecting him. 

Vincent stirred just the slightest bit as the medication burned within his shoulder but quickly returned to sleep. There may have been just the smallest trace of a smile upon his lips as the doctor walked away, but no one saw it.

  
***

Back in Mideel, life was settling into its normal routine for Jaras. In the morning he opened his store and at night closed it. He hadn't gone to see Brandon since returning, not knowing what he should say to him when they were finally reunited. That afternoon though, Jaras looked up from one of the new books the store had ordered to see Brandon standing before the counter.

Jaras immediately got up from his seat and smiled as he pulled off his reading glasses. "Hi, Brandon. I've been meaning to come by since I got back."

The older man smiled. "Yes, you're assistant told me that you had returned the other day, but I just hadn't had a chance to come over."

The fact that both men had been feeling too awkward to face one another went unsaid.

After dropping his gaze to the side, Jaras shrugged weakly. "Well, I certainly went through a lot while I was gone."

The doctor nodded. "I would imagine so. But everything is fine?"

"I think so." Jaras slid his glasses into the pocket of his shirt. "It all makes me want to laugh at all the history books regarding Sephiroth on the shelves."

Brandon smiled. "Maybe you should write your own sometime."

"I'll pass." Jaras laughed to himself. "I don't think I would like to dwell on those things anymore than I have to."

"I can't say that I blame you." He leaned against the counter. "Look, I mostly came by to make sure that you were okay with everything."

Jaras raised his eyebrows. "Sure, that secret couldn't be kept forever I suppose."

"And are _we _okay?" Brandon looked somewhat sad. "I should hate for all of this to have ruined our friendship."

"Brandon, it's not like any of this was your fault." Jaras motioned with his hands, "You did everything you could to try and protect me. At least I had a chance to be who I was for the last seven years before learning about who I _was._ Hell, if I had learned sooner, who's to say how I would have turned out, right? And now at least I know that I have a family."

Brandon's relief was obvious. "Thank you, I'm glad to hear that."

"Thank you for letting me be who I am and not throwing me away because of who I was." Jaras ran a hand through his hair.

"You're a good man, Jaras." Brandon grinned widely. "Besides, it has been kind of an adventure for me to watch you grow as a person over the years. I was the only one who knew the whole story for a long time. Did an old man like me good to have some adventure in his life for once."

A short silence passed, and the Brandon spoke again. "My daughter has come down from Junon. Why don't you come out and have dinner with us tonight?"

Jaras, never one for social engagements decided to go ahead and join them. "Sure, I'll be done here around six."

"Good, we'll be by to pick you up then." Brandon winked at him. "And wear something nice for God's sakes, Jeanine is not easily impressed."

***

Tseng retreated to his quarters aboard the airship, knowing that there were still five hours to go on the flight home. As he sat on the edge of his bed, he saw a small silver box on the nightstand. Somehow it had managed to not fall onto the floor earlier when the ship had converted. He frowned to himself as he reached out and picked it up. After staring at it for several minutes he got up and walked out of his room.

He walked into the infirmary, finding Tifa and Vincent lying together in the bed apparently asleep. Tseng reached out and prepared to drop the small box next to Vincent's side.

Tifa opened her eyes and feared that Tseng was up to no good. "What are you doing?"

Tseng avoided eye contact with her and laid the box next to his brother. "Just giving Vincent something I meant to give him the other day in Rocket. I forgot it in all the excitement of telling him that we could give him a new body."

"I don't think he wants anything from _you_ right now." Tifa said venomously.

Tseng knit his brow and looked at her. "Do you know what day it is?"

She hadn't the slightest idea. "What, some special Wutain Holiday?"

"No," Tseng crossed his arms over his chest, "it's October thirteenth."

This held no meaning for her. "So?"

"So I intended to give this to Vincent the other day, as an early birthday present." Tseng's voice was flat.

Tifa's eyes went wide. She had never known what Vincent's birthday was and it suddenly reminded her that there was a lot she didn't know about her husband. "His birthday?"

"Yes." Tseng let his arms fall back to his sides. "You had no idea did you?"

"No." Tifa was shocked that Vincent hadn't told her.

"I suppose there are many things about Vincent that I know and _you_ do not." Tseng replied, driving in his point.

Tifa sat silent, realizing that when it came to Vincent, Tseng was by far more of an authority than she. Some of her anger abated as she realized that Tseng was doing what he believed to be best for both Vincent and her, even if it seemed cruel. She dropped her gaze to the silver box lying on the sheet.

Tseng, knowing that Tifa had just come to an important realization stepped back and headed for the door. He knew he needed to leave her alone with her thoughts for now.

She reached over her husband and took up the box, surprised at its weight. Tifa pulled off the top and looked inside, at once recognizing the contents.

There in a nest of red tissue paper was a gleaming metal object. It was an ammunition clip made to fit Vincent's Death Penalty. There was something inscribed into the side of the steel item. 

__

Finally we are together after so many years apart.

From your brother, with love.

Tifa closed the lid to the box and let it fall back to Vincent's side. Such an item of sentiment could only have come from someone who really did love her husband. Suddenly she felt more than a little bad for how she had been acting toward Tseng since reboarding the ship. She wiped a tear from her eye and gave Vincent a short kiss. "Happy Birthday."


	23. 159 Arrival

Hi there,

I know it's been a while since I posted a new chapter but I've been very busy with a lot of various things. I'm back in action now for the time being and will get as much writing of this story done while I've got the chance. Please pardon the shortness of this chapter, another should follow within a day or so.

Secondly, as many of you already know, I'm no longer allowing anonymous reviews to my stories. This is necessary due to the fact that a reviewer that I banned from leaving signed reviews took to leaving unsigned ones. Since I do not wish to give this individual the platform on which to voice his unwanted commentary, I can only accept signed reviews from my legitimate readers. I apologize for any inconvenience this may cause any of you, but if you do not have a fanfiction.net ID and wish to discuss my story with me, feel free to email me at ksipesh@yahoo.com.

Thanks, 

Kristen

Guilt's Cost: Part CLIX

Arrival

By Kristen Gupton-Williams

Angel and Reno stood awaiting the ship's arrival up on the airfield. Tseng had radioed ahead to warn Reno that he planned to be home sooner than anticipated so that everything that Reno had messed up could be back in place by the time his boss returned home.

They heard the airship approaching long before they could see it as its newly unveiled jet engines powered it homeward. Once it was above the field, the engines pivoted to aim down allowing the ship to come to the ground gently. Angel and Reno were nearly blown over by the force of the wash from the ship and covered their ears to protect them from the painful roar.

When the ship was finally at rest and the engines cut the hatch was flung open and Tseng emerged, quickly followed by Porter and Quigley. 

Angel, excited to see her uncle ran to him and embraced him briefly. "I'm so glad you are back safely."

"So am I." Tseng smiled at her.

"How is my father?" Angel cut to the chase, not able to wait.

"He's fine, although be it sedated." He replied. "Quigley has a way to rid him of that demon once and for all and I need to get inside to see that his lab is set up with everything he has told me he will need. Whatever you do, Vincent is not to know that we have a cure as Chaos would certainly exploit such information."

She stepped back from him not wishing to delay him further. "Okay."

Tseng gave Reno a quick nod before brushing past him and going down into the base followed closely by Quigley and Porter. They obviously had important work to get to and would not be detained.

A short time later another door on the ship was opened and a ramp slid out. Then out came the two male medics who had the bed that Vincent was tied to between them. Tifa was right at their side, not willing to let Vincent out of her sight for fear of what might happen to him if she did. Dr. Arlin was also with them.

Angel rushed over to see her father and Tifa. She could see that Vincent was apparently asleep and she looked at Tifa. "Are you okay?"

She shrugged, her exhaustion evident. "Yeah, I think so."

"And how is he?" Angel asked, motioning toward her father.

"He's been out since getting on the ship in Rocket for the most part but I guess he's alright despite the mental trauma this is causing him." Tifa sighed.

"Oh…" Angel felt Reno come up behind her and she reached out and took his hand, needing some comfort.

Reno inspected Vincent with a sidelong glance before turning his attention to Tifa. "Hey there, old man's sleepin' again, huh?"

Tifa cocked an eyebrow at him. "Hi Reno."

He winked at her and then shoved his free hand into his pocket. "Story of your life I think. Married fuckin' Sleeping Beauty."

Tifa smiled in spite of herself. "Could be worse, I could be married to _you, _no offense Angel."

"Aw," Reno scoffed, "she don't mind but she wouldn't have married you anyway. She don't swing that way."

Angel turned and pushed her annoying mate away. "You're making me think twice about it, Reno."

Dr. Arlin cleared her throat in an attempt to get the attention of the group. "We really ought to get him inside and into the infirmary if you don't mind."

A hush immediately fell over them as their momentary lightheartedness vanished. The medic again started pushing the gurney toward the base's entrance with Reno, Angel, and Tifa trailing behind.

***

Cid sat at his kitchen table staring down at the baby in his arms who was for the moment asleep. He had been tormented with what had happened prior to Tifa and Vincent's departure the day before and couldn't shake it from his thoughts. Whether it was his place or not he felt like he should have gone with them back to the base in order to keep watch over the situation. With his infant son to take care of though, he didn't know how he could have.

Suddenly an odd idea crossed his mind and he spoke quietly to his baby. "I wonder if that car seat thing Shera bought for you would fit in the plane's seat…"


	24. 160 Unbound

Guilt's Cost: Part CLX

Unbound

By Kristen Gupton-Williams

Tifa sat at Vincent's side in the infirmary. They had now been back for several hours and Tifa hadn't seen the slightest hint of movement from him for a long while. When his eyes finally fluttered open, she was filled with relief and excitement. "Vincent, are you all right?"

He stared up at her getting his bearings. "I think so…"

There was no way for Tifa to know that she wasn't really dealing with her husband at all. "How do you feel?"

"Tired." He forced a false smile. "I don't want them to drug me anymore."

"I know, but they are just worried that Chaos will come back out if you are allowed to be awake." She replied.

He struggled futilely against his restraints for a moment; not able to break them with Vincent's weakened body. "You're not going to tell them that I'm up, are you?"

She shook her head, fairly certain that he couldn't get up anyway. "No, and Dr. Arlin won't be back for a while."

This seemed to please him. Chaos knew that in order to generate his own body it was going to take a huge expense of energy but that was the only way he was going to get off this bed. He decided to try his chances with getting Tifa to free him. "Can you loosen these restraints?"

Tifa looked down to where the strap was cinched around one of his wrists. As much as she truly did want to let him go, Tifa knew better than to do so. Tseng had made his point earlier and she was not about to defy him again. "I'm sorry Vincent, but I can't."

Anger flashed through his eyes and he fought against the restraints with just a little more force. With Tifa having told Vincent and thus Chaos earlier on the airship that there was a plan to kill the demon, Chaos was determined to escape. "God damned it, let me up!"

Suddenly she realized that something wasn't right. Tifa scanned the infirmary for help but soon realized that she and Vincent were completely alone. There was a call button on the wall just a short ways away and she ran over to it. She hit the button hard with her fist. "This is Tifa, Chaos is trying to get out!"

Dr. Arlin's voice crackled back over the intercom. "Get out of there, Tifa! I'm on my way."

Tifa spun back around, knowing that she needed to get out of the room before Chaos managed to do anything. Her eyes landed upon Vincent and she gasped to catch her breath.

The demon was using all of his strength to take over Vincent's body and make it his own long enough for him to break free. His scaled flesh was quickly enveloping Vincent's metallic body, and his upper body was now totally Chaos.

She covered her mouth with her hands in her moment of shock. Chaos was between her and the door and she didn't know how she was going to escape.

The demon managed to finally complete his transformation and with his own arms he ripped away the restraints from the bed. Once free he hopped to the ground, having to stoop slightly to keep from hitting his head on the low ceiling of the room. His wings briefly stretched out behind him before being folded away.

"Stop it!" She screamed, somehow hoping that she would be able to purge the demon from her husband.

The truth was that Vincent's own mind was still drugged enough as to be completely unaware of what was going on, giving Chaos no competition. He looked back at Tifa's direction momentarily and snorted. "I have no time for you now."

Tifa remained rooted to her spot as she watched Chaos make his way through the door and out into the hallway. She followed him as best she could, until she felt someone grab her from behind. She glanced over her shoulder to see that Dr. Arlin had caught up and halted her. "Let me go! What are you doing?"

Dr. Arlin continued to hold her as Reno and Tseng ran by with their weapons drawn. "Let them handle this, Tifa."

"No!" She screamed after the two men passed, terrified that they would kill the demon and in the process her husband. "Please, I have to help him!"

"Tifa, listen to me," the doctor forced her to turn around and look at her, "We've been through this a thousand times! The chances of you getting hurt going after that demon are too high and if something did happen to you we all know that Vincent wouldn't be able to live with it. Tseng and Reno will do everything that they can to contain him. You know they don't want to hurt Vincent anymore than you do."

Tifa was shaking badly and tears were in her eyes. "This is all my fault… Tseng told me not to tell Vincent that we had a way to get rid of Chaos but I was so mad that I did it anyway…"

"It's okay Tifa." Dr. Arlin spoke in a calmer tone. "Who's to say that Chaos wouldn't have done this anyway? It's just as much my fault for not keeping him under heavier sedation."

Whether or not this was true didn't matter to Tifa. The guilt that she was being riddled with was overwhelming. "What have I done?"

***

Reno and Tseng pursued the demon as well they could. The monster was able to run much faster than any human, much less one as hopelessly out of shape as Reno and one with a heart condition. It was obvious from the path they were taking that Chaos knew where he was going; he was heading for the airfield. 

Tseng was falling behind, being limited by the growing tension in his chest. When they were almost to the door outside, he collapsed to all fours.

Reno heard the sound behind him and stopped, seeing his boss on the ground. "Tseng!"

The older man pointed toward the door and yelled, "Never mind me, don't let him get away!"

Reno debated momentarily whether to stay or follow his boss's orders but when he saw Tifa and Dr. Arlin come around the corner he knew that Tseng was in good hands and so continued his pursuit.

Chaos had made it out into the night air and looked around. He needed to find a hiding place quickly before his strength ran out and he lost control of Vincent's body again. He saw the lights of the town just a short ways off and unfurled his wings, taking to the air.

Reno sprinted after the demon as best he was able but by the time he reached the boundary of the airfield, he had lost sight of the beast in the dark sky.


	25. 161 Search Parties

Guilt's Cost: Part CLXI

Search Parties

By Kristen Gupton-Williams

After losing sight of Chaos, Reno stopped running and cursed loudly. Knowing that there was no more he could do in his current position he turned back to reenter the base and check on Tseng. He went in and found Tseng, Tifa, and Dr. Arlin where he had last seen them. Tseng was now standing although his posture was one of pain.

Tifa looked at Reno with desperate eyes. "Where's Chaos?"

"How the fuck should I know?" he snapped back while flipping his hand in frustration. "In town somewhere."

"You lost him?" Tseng straightened up and knit his brows.

"The son of a bitch can fly! How am I supposed to keep up with that?" Reno tucked his night staff back away.

As disappointed as Tseng was, he knew that Reno had a point. "Okay, we can still find him. I'll call Brad to get the chopper up and search for him. Costa del Sol isn't very big, there aren't many places to hide."

Dr. Arlin snatched Tseng's phone away from him the second he pulled it from his pocket. "I'll call Brad. I want you to get into the infirmary and have an EKG run to make sure that you're going to be all right."

"No, I'm going out to look for my brother." Tseng replied, not wishing to give any attention to the terrible pain in his chest.

The doctor easily kept the phone away from the weakened man. "Absolutely not! Go to the infirmary NOW!"

"Come on, Tseng." Tifa took his hand. "I want to go out and look for him too, but I'll stay with you for now. Reno will take care of everything."

Reno sighed loudly, not in the mood for any of this tonight. "Fine, I'll go find the bastard. Give me the phone."

Dr. Arlin gladly handed the cell over to him and turned to go take Tseng for his exam.

After dialing the phone, Reno held the phone up to his ear and waited to hear Brad answer.

The chopper pilot, who was currently out tinkering in a hanger despite the hour eventually picked up. "Yeah?"

"It's Reno. I need you to get the helicopter and pick me up by the base entry." He mumbled.

Brad's curiosity was piqued. "What's going on?"

"We got to go look for someone." Reno was not up to giving long explanations at the moments. "Just get here quick, okay?"'

"Okay." Brad hung up and made his way to the chopper.

Reno went back up to the airfield to await his ride. He pulled out the phone again and dialed.

Angel answered. "Hello?"

"It's me." Reno smiled slightly at the sound of her voice. "Your old man went nuts again and turned into that fucking thing."

"Oh my God, is everyone okay?" She was shocked at this news.

"Yeah, pretty much." Reno kicked at the dirt. "Tseng got a little stressed and the doc is checking him out right now but I think he'll be fine. Thing is, Chaos flew the coop."

"He's gone?" Angel's eyes grew wide.

"Yup." He shrugged. "The boss's got me going out in the chopper to look for him. He headed for town so hopefully I can find him, although I'm not real sure what I'm gonna do once I get to him."

"Wait for me, I'm coming with you." Angel said, getting up from her desk.

"This might be dangerous, I don't want you to get hurt." Reno admitted.

"To hell with that, Reno. I'm going so don't leave until I get up there." She ordered firmly.

"Damn it." Reno hung up and dropped the phone back into his pocket. He hadn't intended to invite her along as her safety was a concern but knew that there was no way he could disobey her. 

Just a few minutes later he heard something coming toward him in the air. As the helicopter set down, he saw Angel emerge from the base ready to go. She came up right beside him as they continued to wait for Brad to open up the chopper.

"So what you been up to?" Reno asked her.

She gave him a sidelong glance. "Trying to help Quigley and Porter come up with the drug that would have gotten rid of that monster in my father once and for all."

"And?" He asked.

"And what?" She crossed her arms. "We aren't done yet."

The door on the side of the helicopter finally slid open and they boarded. They sat down so that they could see out the door as they left it open. Both of them donned headsets to allow them to speak with Brad if they saw anything. The chopper lifted up into the air and headed for town.

***

Tifa sat next to Tseng as Dr. Arlin hooked him up to the EKG and ran it. Tseng was clearly feeling better now and was growing increasingly impatient.

After the machine had run for several minutes, the doctor turned off the monitor and tore off the long strip of paper that had come out of it. She examined closely the electrical read out of his heart. "The complexes look normal, and the arrhythmia is gone for the moment."

"English?" Tseng asked, annoyed that she never just told him if he was okay or not.

"You're fine." She folded up the EKG strip and stuffed it into Tseng's medical record. "But you need to remember that before you had your bypass, a lot of damage was done to your heart and it is still weak. I need you to take it easy or you're going to undo all we have done."

"I don't have time for this." He said as he pulled the electrodes from his chest and started buttoning up his shirt. "If my job was about taking it easy it would be pretty god damned boring. My brother is out there somewhere and I need to see that he doesn't hurt himself or anyone else."

"Tseng, you won't do anyone any good dead." Tifa sighed, knowing how frustrated he was.

"If I promise everyone that I won't die, will you all leave me to what I have to do?" Tseng growled as he slid from the hospital bed.

"I know you well enough by now that trying to get you to do anything is equivalent to talking to a wall." Dr. Arlin shot back as she started toward her office. "Just come back if you start to feel any pain again, all right?"

"Fine." He picked up his coat from the chair it had been flung over and headed for the door. "I'm taking a car into town to look for Vincent. Come along if you'd like, Tifa."


	26. 162 Rebellion

Guilt's Cost: Part CLXII

Rebellion

By Kristen Gupton-Williams

Tseng and Tifa cruised slowly through the streets of the town in a rented car. There were very few people out this late and Tifa hung out the window calling out his name and scanning everyplace they passed hoping for some glimpse of Vincent. Every few moments they would hear the helicopter pass close by as Angel and Reno also searched.

Not able to hold back any longer, Tseng stopped the car and turned to Tifa. "You told him even though I ordered you not to."

She sunk into the seat and ran a hand through her hair. "Trust me, I feel bad enough about it."

"Why do you feel the need to go against my wishes constantly?" He asked, pulling the keys from the ignition.

Tifa had no real answer for this and just sighed. "Look, I hate to change the subject but aren't we supposed to be looking for Vincent right now?"

Tseng opened the car door and got out. "That's exactly what we're doing. We've covered every street in town already so now it's time to get a closer look."

***

Vincent opened his eyes, finding himself shivering and incredibly groggy. He propped himself up on his elbows and looked around, realizing that he had no real idea of where he was or why, save that he was laying in some god forsaken alley. Slowly he got up and braced himself against the nearest brick wall. With the weakness in his body not only from the drugs but also Cid's earlier work on him he wasn't sure how he was going to get anywhere. There was a tall fence behind him and two dumpsters blocking his forward movement. He genuinely had no recollection beyond when he got onto the airship in Rocket and was overwhelmed with confusion with over how he had arrived here, or where _here_ was.

Grudgingly he moved toward the dumpsters determined to push his way through them no matter how unlikely it was. Then he heard a helicopter go over and looked up, hoping to get a glimpse of it in the small sliver of sky over him between the buildings but saw nothing. Not long after he heard something else that sounded like a car door slamming soon followed by another. Hoping that someone could hear him, he called out. "Hello?"

It didn't take long for him to get a reply. Tseng called back. "Where are you?"

"In the alley." Vincent said with some measure of relief upon hearing his brother's voice. 

Tifa ran forward and shoved the dumpsters apart. Once she spotted her husband she sprinted toward him and into his arms. "I thought we'd never find you!"

"What's going on?" He asked.

"Chaos took you over and ran away from the base earlier." Tifa dried the tears on her cheeks with the back of her hand. 

Vincent was mortified. "I didn't hurt anyone this time, did I?"

"No." She smiled at him. "It seemed that all he wanted was to get out of the base."

"So I take it this is Costa del Sol?" Vincent asked.

"Yeah." Tifa looked over her shoulder seeing Tseng come up behind her.

Tseng's expression wasn't one of relief or happiness. He had his gun drawn and raised it, aiming at Vincent's head. "Tifa, stand back."

She spun and shielded Vincent with her body. "What are you doing?!"

"Protecting you." Tseng was growing angry with her continued resistance. "Now get away from him."

"What are you going to do to him?" Tifa asked.

"I'm not going to harm him, as long as he doesn't try anything." Tseng took a step closer.

Tifa could see the look in his eyes and started to wonder if Tseng was to the point where he would actually shoot _her_ if she didn't do as ordered. Reluctantly she moved away from her husband.

Vincent sighed and put his hands up in the air. "It's all right, Tifa."

She reached Tseng's side and turned to face him. Whether it was right or not, it was hard for her to see him at the end of a gun. "I know."

"Okay. I'm going to call for some back up so we can get you into the base safely." Tseng pulled his second cell phone from his pocket. "Janice? It's Tseng. We're in the alley on the north side of Rio and Palacios. Get here now, we've got him."

Inside Vincent, Chaos was gearing up for another attempt at escape. He knew that being only faced with Tifa and Tseng his chances of getting away were much better than they would be once help arrived. He made his last bid for control.

Vincent felt the change within and brought his hands to the sides of his head. He knew that he wasn't in any shape to hold off the demon even if Chaos was still weak from the last time. "Tseng… shoot me!"

"What's going on?" Tseng asked, not willing to fire at his brother without explanation.

"Chaos is trying it…" Vincent collapsed to his knees, struggling for all he was worth but losing anyway. "Don't let him do it! Shoot me!"

"No!" Tifa screamed and grabbed at Tseng's arm, forcing him to momentarily waver in his aim at his brother.

"Stop it, Tifa!" Tseng growled back, pushing her away violently before bringing his gun back towards target.

Something within Tifa snapped and she charged back at Tseng. He caught her movement out of the corner of his eye and well aware of her physical prowess knew that he couldn't afford to actually let her attack him. In a flash he pointed his gun at her and fired, hitting her in the left thigh. His intent hadn't been to put her life in danger but just stop her from advancing.

The bullet ripped into her leg and Tifa collapsed to the pavement. She clenched her teeth to ward off a scream and pressed her hands around her thigh. It was a clean shoot, through and through the muscle of her leg. Assessing her injury, Tifa knew that the bone was intact but the damage that had been done would prevent her from getting up.

Even though he was battling the demon within himself, when Vincent heard the gunshot he snapped back to reality. Seeing Tifa writhing on the ground and Tseng aiming at her caused him to cry out, but the sound of his voice was soon drowned out by a howl from Chaos.

By the time Tseng turned his attention from Tifa back to Vincent, Chaos had already completely taken over and changed his body in its entirety. "That's enough! Leave my brother be or I will shoot you as well."

"I either die here in this alley or back in your damned infirmary," the demon hissed back, "I have no choice but to fight."

Tseng was at a real loss for what to do. The monster was right; it knew that either it fought now and possibly lived or gave in and died. There was no way for him to really reason with it since it neither cared about Tifa or Vincent. He desperately hoped that his brother could fight through this but doubted it would happen before things got worse.


	27. 163 Collision

Guilt's Cost: Part CLXIII

Collision

By Kristen Gupton-Williams

Hi there, sorry about the long delay between chapters, but life has been a little demanding as of late. Even though I do sometimes take forever to get new stuff up, have faith that I will finish this story J 

Tseng maintained his aim at the beast. Chaos stood his ground, panting as he debated what to do. Tifa lay on the ground, observing the situation silently though teary eyes, not willing to break the uneasy balance that had settled over the scene. Then in a flash, Chaos lunged toward Tseng. 

Waiting until the last possible moment, Tseng fired two shots in quick succession at his attacker. Chaos was unfazed by the bullets, as they didn't penetrate far into his tough reptilian skin. He was able to momentarily ignore the two flesh wounds sustained to his chest and thrust out with his right arm, throwing Tseng into a wall a few yards off. The demon didn't slow in the least and charged forward past where Tifa lay helpless until he had gathered up enough speed to leap up into the air and take off into the night.

"Vincent!" She cried after him, but to no avail. Aware that there was nothing that she could do in the way of Chaos at the moment, she turned her attention to Tseng. Tifa dragged herself to where he had fallen and was still heaped, motionless.

Tseng had come to rest on his side, wedged between a dumpster and the wall he had struck. When Tifa got to him, she pushed back the dumpster as best she could to expose him. Disregarding the searing pain in her leg for the time being, she examined her brother in law. As Tseng had hit the wall, a sickening crack had echoed through the alley and Tifa now saw the source of that sound. His right arm was lying back behind his body, bent at an unnatural angle at the elbow and if he hadn't been wearing his suit coat, she would have seen the bones of his lower arm protruding through the skin. She pushed him onto his back and attempted to straighten out his mangled arm as best she could. 

He didn't respond in the least. Tifa could discern from his breathing that he was still alive, but that was about all. His breaths were jagged and irregular and she could only imagine the damage that had been done inside his body from the force of the impact.

Tifa heard a noise behind her and looked over her shoulder, fearful that Chaos may have returned but was relieved to see Dr. Arlin and several ASRIO agents coming down the alley.

Dr. Arlin fell to her knees at Tseng's side and looked to Tifa for answers. "What the Hell happened?"

"He had Chaos cornered," Tifa's voice was harsh from her exertion and pain, "I tried to keep him from shooting Vincent so he had no choice but to fire on me. Then Chaos attacked Tseng… threw him into the wall."

The doctor listened as she got to the task of examining Tseng. After just a few seconds, she waived over the two male medics that had accompanied her. "We need to get him into the infirmary now or he will die!"

Tifa gasped, not entirely aware that Tseng's condition had been this serious. "No…"

Hurriedly, they got Tseng loaded into the car they had arrived in. Dr. Arlin assisted Tifa into the car, knowing that she wouldn't be able to make it on her own.

***

Reno and Angel were quickly informed by radio about the situation. Angel clung to Reno for reassurance after hearing of Tseng's dire situation. As the helicopter turned in the sky to head back toward the base, Reno noticed something in the sky. "What the fuck?"

He could just make out Chaos flying in the night sky toward the ocean. The demon wasn't alone in the air however, as Reno soon caught sight of some flashing lights in the air. It didn't take him long to realize that Chaos was on a collision course with the source of those lights.

***

Chaos was doing his best to maintain altitude as he soared over the town looking for a suitable hiding place. His ability to hold control over Vincent's body was failing as he had already spent himself during his initial escape from the base. 

Suddenly, he heard the unmistakable drone of a prop plane coming toward him. In his weakened state his reflexes were slow and as he attempted to dive out of the way of the coming plane, his right wing was clipped and immediately vaporized by the propeller. A lupine scream escaped him as he fell downward, completely unable to control his descent.

Cid hardly saw what he had hit while circling Costa del Sol to line up for the airfield. There was a gray flash outside his window before the plane started rocking wildly. Whatever he had hit had disabled one of the plane's two propellers and the controls bucked madly. Immediate panic settled into him, not because he was going to have to make a difficult landing, but rather because his newborn infant was sleeping in the passenger seat beside him.

"Shit! What the fuck was that?" He said to no one as he wrestled to maintain control over his airplane. The engine powering the destroyed propeller attempted to continue running but with the damage it had sustained it briefly burst into flame before going dead. 

Pulling hard to try and bring the plane back in line with the distant airfield, Cid knew he was fighting a losing battle. There was no way that with the plane's current rate of descent he was going to make it to his destination. He was going to have to bring the craft down on a city street if he was to have any chance of surviving this at all.

***

From their vantagepoint in the helicopter, Angel and Reno watched on in disbelief. They saw Chaos' limp body plummet toward the ground below after the impact and the terribly damaged aircraft continue on but losing altitude.

Angel ripped off her seat belt and made her way up to the pilot of the chopper. "Hurry! Get us on the ground!"

Brad nodded and complied at once, moving the helicopter over to where Chaos may have landed. Knowing that Angel had the authority to order him around, he wasn't about to argue, even if his first instinct as a pilot was to follow the plane and see to its landing.

As soon as the helicopter set down in a shopping center parking lot, Angel sprung out desperate to find her father. She scanned the darkness for any sign of movement knowing that he had to have fallen somewhere near by.

Reno got out and followed Angel; more worried about her safety near the demon rather that Vincent's well being. "Where the Hell is he?"

Angel was frantic and screamed out into the night. "Hello?!"

There was no response. Several minutes went by as they stood there debating where to go next. Then they heard something coming from a parking lot across the street. Angel and Reno ran toward the source of the sound, unable to see much on the unlit side of the street. It wasn't until Reno slipped and fell that their search came to an end.

Reno cursed as he struggled to get to his feet after hitting the asphalt but it wasn't easy as the ground was covered in some slick fluid. Just a few feet away from him he soon saw what was left of Vincent. "Oh shit."

Angel spun from where she was standing when she heard Reno's comment. When she saw what he was looking at she quickly got to his side.

The impact with the plane had ripped Chaos apart, forcing him to give Vincent back his own body with which to survive the fall. His cybernetic body had crumpled from the force of the fall and hydraulic fluid was pouring from him. As circuits shorted and failed in his body the remnants of his limbs twitched uncontrollably, causing the sound that had drawn their attention in the first place.

Angel fell to her knees and reached out a shaking hand to touch the side of Vincent's face, searching for any sign of life. "Come on…"

Seeing the condition that Vincent was in, Reno felt his stomach knot. "Here, let me get him back to the helicopter… maybe they can do something for him back at the base."

Nearly paralyzed with fear, Angel didn't move. Vincent's skin was ghastly white and cold to the touch. After all her work in the infirmary with injured and dying men, there was only one explanation for his appearance. "He's dead…"

"Let's get him home." Reno said quietly.

"What's the point?" Angel had lost all hope. "He's gone, there's nothing anyone can do!"

Reno couldn't bear to see Angel like this, and his refusal to accept the situation flared. Maybe she had way more medical knowledge than he did but for this once, he was going to argue with his wife. "No, we're taking him back! Now move and get back to the chopper. Have Brad radio Dr. Arlin and the base. This isn't how it's going to end!"

Hearing the demanding tone in her husband's voice triggered something in Angel. She got to her feet quickly and complied, while Reno bent down and scooped up her father's broken body.


	28. 164 Optimism

Guilt's Cost: Part CLXIV

Optimism

By Kristen Gupton-Williams

Tifa sat in the front seat of the large sedan as an ASRIO agent drove them back toward the base. She paid no attention to the suicidal rate the driver was going as she was turned back to face Dr. Arlin and Tseng in the back seat, along with yet another agent. There was little that the doctor could do in the car and she merely sat supporting her patient, trying to prevent him from being jarred too hard by the car's movements.

Suddenly the driver hit the brakes, forcing Tifa to face back forward. She stared in disbelief as an airplane came over the car, to touch down violently in the street in front of them. Tifa was unable to contain the squeal that escaped her as the fright of the aircraft landing in front of them caused her.

The plane hit the ground and bounced twice before sticking. Obviously the airplane was damaged as a thick black smoke was pouring from one of the engines. In its desperate attempt to keep in the middle of the road, the ends of both wings were clipped as it tried to fit between the light posts lining the street. Just shy of where the road dead-ended into a large hotel, the plane finally managed to come to a stop.

The driver of the car Tifa was in moved to put the car in reverse so that they could take another route back to the base. Tifa immediately protested knowing all too well who was in the plane that had just made the dramatic landing before them.

"Wait! Stop the car! That's got to be Cid!" She cried, momentarily forgetting about Tseng's situation in the back seat.

"No, absolutely not!" Dr. Arlin snapped back from the rear. "Whoever is in that plane is probably fine, Tseng is not! Let's go!"

The driver hit the gas and gunned the car down another street, forcing Tifa to quickly lose sight of the plane. Despite Dr. Arlin's observation of the plane's intact status, she still couldn't help but wonder if Cid was in fact all right or not. "This can't possibly get any worse."

Then the radio clipped to the driver's belt cracked to life. "Dr. Arlin? Can you hear me?"

The agent immediately grabbed the radio and handed it to the doctor in the back seat. The desperate voice on the other end sent a chill down Dr. Arlin's spine. "This is Janice, go on."

Several seconds of quiet passed until the voice replied. "This… this is Angel… We are in the helicopter and on our way back to the base. Please get home soon, we've got a serious situation here…"

Tifa turned in her seat to attempt to listen in more on the conversation. Angel's tone was alarming. "What's going on?"

Dr. Arlin spoke into the radio. "We are on our way back to the base, we've got Tseng and he's terribly injured."

There was some noise from the radio as though Angel had dropped it. Shortly thereafter, Reno's voice took over. "Well that's fucking great, Doc. We found Vinny."

Unable to control herself, Tifa reached back and ripped the communicator from the doctor's hands. "You have Vincent?"

"Yeah." Reno sighed heavily enough for it to be heard over the helicopter's rotor. "Tifa, it's not looking good. Vince hit some jerk flying a plane and fell pretty far. Angel thinks…"

The way his voice trailed off made Tifa even more frantic. "Angel thinks what?!"

"Damn it," Reno was the last person on earth to want to deliver this news, "she thinks he's dead."

Tifa, silent and in a state of shock, handed the radio back to the doctor. Whatever else was said in the car for the rest of the ride home didn't matter as Tifa sank into a semi-catatonic state. The thought that all so many people that she cared for were in danger of losing their lives was too much for her to bear.

***

After a brief moment of unconsciousness, Cid awoke not certain of where he was. The smell of burning fuel soon brought him back to his senses. The cabin was dark as all of the plane's electrical systems were dead but his mental map of the cockpit didn't fail him. In an instant he had his seat belt undone and with in just a few more moments he had retrieved his infant son as well. Without any hesitation, he made his way to the plane's door and leapt to the ground, then running as fast as he could from the plane until he was a safe distance away.

Only then did he dare to look at the small bundle within his arms. He pealed away the blanket and to his surprise he saw not only that his son was completely unharmed but still sleeping soundly despite all of the recent drama.

Cid's collected and harsh exterior faltered at that moment and he fell to his knees, hugging the baby to his chest tightly. His breath came in relieved gasps and tears burned in his eyes. The fright of losing his son cut straight through him. "Thank you God…"

***

Reno put down the radio and turned to his wife who was sitting on the floor of the helicopter cradling her father. He could see the silent tears running down her face and moved to her side so that he could place an arm around her. It was unfair, he knew, that she had gotten to spend such a short time with Vincent. A feeling of helplessness washed over him as he sat there trying to comfort Angel.

As he stared down at Vincent's still form, he noticed something. There was a strange gap between some of the panels on his chest and Reno couldn't help but reach down with his free hand and pry it open.

Angel caught his movement through tear blurred eyes. "What are you doing?"

Reno took his other arm off her shoulders and leaned closer to see what was inside. There seemed to be something moving within, and there was a dim light coming from a small LED screen. "What the hell is this?"

When the metal flap finally gave way, he saw something like nothing else. A clear plastic encased motor seemed to be turning very slowly. There were tubes inside that were being compressed by small rollers being driven by the motor. The screen that was emitting the light had a few words flashing on it:

__

EMERGENCY MODE

MAXIMUM ENERGY RETENTION ACTIVE

Reno turned to Angel, his eyes wide. "I don't think he's dead."

Angel gasped and looked to see for herself. Inside, she saw the small pump running and noticed that it looked very much like a heart/lung bypass machine used during cardiac surgeries to keep patients alive. "Oh my God!" She turned frantic eyes to her husband. "Reno! Hand me my medical bag! Hurry!"

He responded instantly and got her what she had asked for. At once she set to work mixing a vial of some medication. Angel shook the bottle gently for several seconds while staring at her father in disbelief. "I couldn't feel a pulse in his neck… but there wasn't one because this machine keeps his blood flowing at a constant rate! I can't believe it!"

"What are you going to do?" Reno asked as he watched her begin to draw up her selected drug into a large syringe.

"That fall has to have caused some trauma to his head. This is a steroid that will hopefully help control his intra-cranial pressure." She said as she got to the task of finding a vein within Vincent's neck through which to give him the injection.

"English?" Reno asked, crossing his arms over his chest. He didn't like when people talked over his head, including his wife.

"He hit the ground, and this should help him from suffering anymore damage in his head than he has already sustained." Angel replied quietly, while driving the needle into the vein she had found.

"Like Vinny ever had a brain to damage." Reno scoffed to himself.

Angel shot a glare up that could have killed. "Watch your mouth! This isn't funny!"

Immediately he felt bad for his comment and shrunk away, hoping that the chopper would land soon.


	29. 165 Medical Progress

Guilt's Cost: Part CLXV

Medical Progress

By Kristen Williams

As soon as the car pulled up to the entrance of the ASRIO base, medics ran forth and pulled Tseng from the car. Dr. Arlin followed them down to the infirmary, desperate to save Tseng's life. Another medic opened the passenger door of the car and extended his hand toward Tifa knowing that she too was injured and needed to be led down for treatment. "Mrs. Valentine?"

She completely ignored his words and continued to stare forward. Her mind was being torn apart with guilt for having told Chaos the news that caused him to flee. If she hadn't done that, her husband would still be alive.

Growing more concerned, he leaned down. "Mrs. Valentine, are you okay?"

"No…" Tifa replied tearfully, dropping her gaze to the dashboard before her.

"Come on, let's get you into the infirmary so we can take care of that gunshot wound." He said, moving to pick her up from her seat. "There is a helicopter coming in and they'll need to move this car."

Tifa didn't protest as she was scooped from the car and up into the medic's muscular arms. She closed her eyes and laid her head against his chest, praying against all hope that this was all a dream and that Vincent was all right.

Once in the infirmary, the medic placed her upon a bed. She couldn't help but notice that Tseng was no where to be seen. "Where'd they take him?"

"I would guess that they've gone into the surgical suite." He said as he pulled over a tray covered in assorted instruments. "From the report I heard the doctor give over the radio, it sounds like she was really worried about internal bleeding."

Slowly Tifa nodded, her whole body seeming to go numb in her shock. She could feel the color drain from her skin and her ears began to ring.

The medic noticed the change in her composure and knew that he was looking upon someone about to pass out. Quickly he guided her to lay down flat, hoping to prevent her from losing consciousness. "Mrs. Valentine, I'm going to start an I.V. line so I can get some fluids into you along with some pain medication."

A tingling sensation ran through her entire body as she fought the encroaching darkness. The medic thought that she was slipping into shock due to the injury in her leg but it was honestly due to her emotional distress.

While her world continued to spin, Tifa didn't feel anything as the man quickly got an I.V. in her arm. As fluids were driven into her vein, her blood pressure began to stabilize after several minutes, and the fainting feeling began to abate.

Seeing that his patient was responding, the medic got to the task of cleaning up her wound. "Are you feeling a little better?"

Tifa sighed, trying to ward off the headache that was now setting in. "Not really."

At that moment, the doors to the infirmary flew open and Reno rushed in with Vincent in his arms. Angel was right behind him and ordered him to lay her father down upon a vacant bed. Angel retrieved several items from a drawer and flew back to his side, starting work immediately.

Tifa couldn't bear to look, already believing Vincent gone. "I don't want to see this…"

The medic frowned and realized that Angel's patient was by far more critical and that he should help her. "Mrs. Valentine, I need to go assist Angel for a moment."

She didn't respond, just turning to face the wall.

Once the medic came over to aid Angel, Reno knew he would just be in the way. He meandered over to where Tifa lay crying. For a rare change, he didn't greet her in some sarcastic or sexual manner. He simply pulled up and chair and sat at her side. "Hey Tifa, how you doing?"

She flashed him the most pathetic expression he had ever witnessed. "What's Angel doing to him if he's dead?"

Reno suddenly realized that Tifa had no knowledge of what he and Angel had discovered on the chopper. He moved closer to her and took up one of Tifa's hands. "She's keeping him alive."

Tifa knit her brow, not quiet understanding. "What?"

"We were wrong." Reno tightened his grip on her hand. "Apparently, his body is built with some sort of emergency mode which made it look like he'd croaked when he hadn't."

"Oh dear God!" She sat bolt upright and turned to see Vincent. He was still a ghastly shade and his eyes were closed but he was silently mouthing something. Tifa glanced over at Reno. "Please get me over there!"

He shrugged and got up, grabbing her I.V. pole and allowing her to hang on him for support. Slowly they transversed the room until they were at Vincent's bedside, opposite to where Angel and the medic stood. Tifa let go of Reno and leaned over Vincent, placing her hands on either side of his face. This close, Tifa could finally make out what he was trying to say.

"Where's Tifa?" He kept gasping, still keeping his eyes shut.

She smiled and felt tears start anew. "Vincent, I'm right here…"

Weakly, his eyes fluttered open momentarily. "Please don't leave… help me."

"I won't, I swear." She whispered to him. "Angel is doing everything she can right now for you."

Angel in the meantime was starting to realize that there was only so much she could do. Her medical skills only really applied to the part of his body that was still human. She needed someone else here who know more about cybernetics. In her frustration, she looked across the bed at Reno. "Go get Quigley and Porter from the lab, hurry!"


	30. 166 Sacrifice

Guilt's Cost: Part CLXVI

Sacrifice

By Kristen Gupton-Williams

Porter and Quigley ran into the infirmary a short while later and began assessing the situation. There were dozens of broken or failing components in Vincent's body and they needed to get working quickly. Quigley left only to return several minutes later with a huge array of parts in a box. While Angel kept a close eye on Vincent's status, the two men got to the task of repairing what they could.

Tifa remained next to Vincent's side, watching in awe as she saw the inner workings of her husband's body. Whether it was done in madness or not, Hojo's creation was something to witness.

After some time had passed, Quigley looked at Porter. "Shit, he needs a new converter coupling to get his body powered properly again, and I don't have one."

Porter thought for a moment, trying to picture all of the things that he had brought with him from Midgar but knew that the requested part wasn't in his inventory. "I don't know what to tell you, I don't have one."

Quigley shook his head and locked gazes with the former Turk, a dead serious look upon his face. "Porter, you _do_ have one, and you know as well as I do that if this man doesn't get it, he will die."

His mind struggled for a moment, and then suddenly, Porter understood what Quigley was talking about. The very part in question was readily available, as long as Porter was willing to sacrifice his companion. "You want me to kill my dog?"

"I don't want to, Port, but if we don't Vincent won't make it." Quigley truly was sickened but they whole situation but felt that this man's life was more important than that of the cybernetic canine. "I can't make you, it's your decision."

Tifa's eyes went wide as she could tell that Porter was actually debating whether or not to do it. If it came down to it, she knew that she would go out there and dissect the animal herself in order to save Vincent. "Porter, please!"

Tears burned in the young man's eyes. This was certainly going to be the hardest decision he ever had to make. Next to Rayna, D was the most precious thing he had in his life. The night when he had saved the dog and rebuilt him flooded into his mind. To put his healthy and beloved pet to death was unspeakably painful. He stepped back from Vincent's bed and hung his head, ashamed that anyone might see the emotion burning within him. He had to allow it; there was no choice, after all, if it wasn't for Vincent both he and Rayna very well could be dead now. Although the words stuck in his throat, he managed to get them out. "I'll get him."

Everyone in the room felt the bittersweet relief of Porter's sacrifice. None of them wanted to see the dog dead but with Vincent's life in the balance what choice did they have?

After what seemed like forever, the door to the infirmary opened back up and a clearly crying Porter entered along with Rayna and his dog.

Quigley, having had to work on many of Hojo's projects involving animals, knew what he had to do in order to make this as quick and painless as possible for D. He leaned over to Angel and whispered, "I need a syringe loaded with enough of whatever anesthetic you've got to put the dog down.".

Angel stepped over to a cabinet and pulled out an old vial pentobarbital before going and filling a large syringe with the clear liquid. Normally used as an anesthesia agent, in the dose she had it was more or less the same as a Veterinarian would use to do the same job. With a trembling hand, she gave the loaded syringe to Quigley.

He took the drug and went over to where Porter was now sitting, holding his dog. Rayna was trying to be strong for him, and knelt beside him, tears visibly streaking her face. Quigley knew that there would be an injection port under a panel on the dog's back and he reached out and flipped it open. Porter's crying was uncontrollable and he buried his face into D's neck.

Quigley felt a lump in his own throat. "Porter, are you ready?"

There was barely any response from him except a pathetically whimpered, "Uh-huh."

Quigley attached the syringe to the injection tube and began to push the intentional overdose into D. Within a few seconds, the dog collapsed in Porter's arms, and it was done.

There wasn't a dry eye in the room; save of course Vincent who had no idea what was going on. Porter, knowing that it was over, rose unsteadily from the floor and leaned heavily on Rayna. His heart was broken and he no longer cared if the others saw how much he was hurt.

Quigley stayed on the floor and once assured that the dog was in fact dead, rolled him over onto his side and pulled open a panel on his abdomen. With quick precision, he removed the vital converter and then got up. He moved towards Vincent's bed to complete the installation.

"Wait." Porter pulled away from Rayna's embrace and turned to face Quigley. "I want to do it."

He didn't protest in the least and handed the part to Porter as he came to Vincent's side. Porter took the part, still warm from its use in D and got to the task of installing it. Even with his hands shaking as badly as they were, he got it hooked up within a few minutes. "There."

Shortly thereafter, the warning message within Vincent's body went off, and he became more coherent. He looked up at Tifa and smiled.

Tifa in turn looked up at Porter, her eyes brimming with tears. "Oh God Porter, I can never repay you!"

Porter simply hung his head and shrugged. "I think I'm going to go now, if it's okay." He took Rayna's hand an walked out.

With the worst now over, Quigley inspected Vincent. "I'm going to have to still do a lot of little things, and get someone in here to weld some broken metal but the worst is behind us."

Vincent was still dazed from the drugs in him and had no real comprehension of what was taking place but feeling better and safe with Tifa close by, he allowed himself to fall off into sleep.


	31. 167 Comrades

Guilt's Cost: Part CLXVII

Comrades

By Kristen Gupton-Williams

Cid was more than a little tired by the time he managed to walk from his 'landing' site to the airfield. As far as he could see, the airport was quiet and after trying to open the door into the ASRIO base and finding it locked he looked around for any sign of life. There was a hanger not too far off and from between the slightly parted doors there was light. Not seeing any other options of places to look for help, Cid headed off toward it.

Once at the hanger he placed his baby into his left arm and pushed the doors open a little more so that he could enter. After his eyes adjusted to the brightness of the overhead lights, he found himself standing before a very old and considerably worn military helicopter. He couldn't help but mutter to himself, "That is one fucked up bird."

"Highwind you old bastard, is that you?" Brad called out from the other side of the chopper, at once recognizing the voice of his former military partner.

Cid smiled widely as Brad stepped into his line of view. "I'll be damned, Tifa told me you were working for this outfit."

"Yeah, it pays the bills and more importantly it lets me fly." Brad continued forward until he and Cid met in a brief embrace.

"But look _what_ you fly." Cid looked back over at the helicopter. "I don't know why you always went for these noisy pieces of shit. Everyone knows that airships and fixed wing crafts are the _only _way to fly."

"Blow it out your ass, old man." Brad suddenly turned serious. "Hey guy, I'm real sorry about Shera."

Cid dropped his gaze to the floor and held his son just a little closer. "Thanks, it's been hard."

"Yeah, I bet." The chopper pilot shrugged. "I don't know what I would do if anything ever happened to Lilly."

Seeing a way out of the depressive subject, Cid nodded. "How is the old lady?"

"Good," Brad grinned, "now that the kids are grown up, she's gone back to work and is loving it."

"Damn, your kids are grown?" Cid raised his eyebrows. "Last I heard they were what, three and six?"

"Yeah, go figure." He leaned against his helicopter. "Casey is married and has two kids of her own, and Felix now flies airships for Junon Air Cruises."

"I'll be." Cid shook his head. "Goes by fast, huh?"

"I'll say." Brad straightened back up. "So let's see your kid already."

Cid obliged and pulled the blanket away from the sleeping infant's face. "That's my boy."

Brad could literally feel the pride coming from his comrade. "Oh no, poor little bastard looks like you!"

"You think?" Cid considered his son's features for a moment. "All I ever see in him is Shera."

"Hell yeah, trying to ignore the obvious." Brad laughed. "Poor kid."

"Aw, fuck you." Cid smiled. He and Brad had always given each other a hard time, although none of it was ever taken seriously.

Brad changed the subject. "What in the Hell are you doing here anyway?"

"Well, I was just going to hang out for a while, see if I could help out Tifa and Vince in any sort of way." He sighed, embarrassed to some extent.

"How'd you get here? I didn't hear your piece of crap plane land." Brad asked.

"Had to take her down in the middle of town. I hit something and it fucked up one of the engines." Cid grimaced at the fate of his beloved plane.

"So you're telling me that you just left your plane in the middle of town?" Brad knit his brows, surprised that Cid would walk away from his machine. Furthermore, he knew exactly _what_ it was that Cid had collided with and he most certainly wasn't going to be the first to tell him.

"Didn't really see much of a choice." Cid shrugged. "I couldn't just sit out all night with the kid and all."

"You might be lucky." He thought for a moment. "With it not being tourist season and also the middle of the night, no one may have noticed. I'll call up some of my guys and have them take the flat bed out and pick it up. Maybe we can put that shit heap you call a plane back into running order again."

"That'd be great." Cid shifted the baby in his arms, growing tired of holding him for over an hour now. "Think you can get me into the base first?"

"Sure thing, come on." Brad turned around and led Cid toward the tower.


	32. 168 Drug Reactions

Guilt's Cost: Part CLXVIII

Drug Reactions

By Kristen Gupton-Williams

Brad let Cid into the base and took him straight to the infirmary, knowing that was where everyone was. Since Brad still had a lot of work to do on the chopper before retiring for the evening, he left Cid outside the infirmary doors alone. The pilot gathered himself before entering, having been given the story of the night's events by his friend. Part of him feared what he would find on the other side, so he took a deep breath, and then entered.

Tifa was lying in a bed pushed up against Vincent's and was the first one to see Cid walk in. "I knew that had to be you in the plane! Are you okay? How's the baby?"

Cid made his way directly to her side and smiled. "I'm all right, and so's the kid." His eyes caught sight of her bandaged leg, and he became concerned. "What's that?"

She shrugged. "I got shot, but it's nothing. I'll be fine."

To say that Cid was dismayed about Tifa's injury would be an understatement, but when he looked over and saw Vincent's badly dented and broken body he realized that Tifa had gotten off lightly. "Shit, he's the mother fucker I ran into with the plane, isn't he?"

Vincent weakly opened his eyes upon hearing Cid's familiar cursing. "Hey…"

"You screwed up my damned plane, you bastard. You owe me," Cid replied, only half-serious. He turned his attention back to Tifa, quickly realizing that Vincent was in no shape to talk. "So everyone's doing okay?"

She dropped her gaze and sighed, "Tseng hasn't come out of surgery yet, so I don't know."

"Oh," Cid nodded shallowly in response. The baby in his arms started to fuss and he realized that he had nothing with him to feed the infant. "Crap, all the kid's formula is in the plane."

Reno, looking for some diversion from the long wait to hear of his boss's status piped up. "We've got some stuff in the commissary. I'll take you there."

Cid glanced back down at Tifa, wanting her permission to leave. "You okay?"

"Yeah, go ahead." She grinned, touched by his concern.

Just a few seconds after they left, Quigley ran into the room, having disappeared for a long time into his research station. He had a loaded syringe in his right hand. He saw Angel sitting by her father's bedside and went to her. "I need to talk to you!"

Angel, knowing that it was out of character for Quigley to display such excitement became concerned. "What is it?"

"Come with me, I need to talk to you in the hall." Quigley said, already moving toward the door.

Angel followed as requested. Once they were alone outside the infirmary, she crossed her arms over her chest. "What's going on, Quig?"

He held the syringe up before his face. "I've done it."

"Done what?" she asked.

"I've copied Hojo's formula. I can get rid of Chaos once and for all." Quigley was down right giddy. "I can cure your father!"

Angel was amazed. "I can't believe it! That's wonderful!"

"Yeah, so I think we should do it right now," he said.

Angel was well aware of how hard it had been on Vincent when Hojo had used this same concoction. "Right now? I don't think that's a good idea. I mean, he's just been through a major trauma. This might just kill him."

"I don't think you can afford to wait," Quigley retorted flatly. "That monster within him _knows_ what we're trying to do. If we try and wait in order to give him time to recuperate, Chaos might try to escape again. We can't afford to risk anyone else getting hurt or killed over this. We have to do it now, while he's down."

Angel regretted that Dr. Arlin was in surgery at the moment. She knew that Janice would side with her on the issue of waiting at least a while before inoculating Vincent. If he died as a result of this drug, she would never forgive herself. "No, he's just too weak!"

"Look Angel," Quigley said gently, "I know you're scared, but what if we do wait and someone else gets killed? Will you be able to live with that? If Vincent was in any position to make decisions for himself right now, what do you think he'd want?"

Angel knew that the scientist was right, no matter how much it pained her. Chaos was just too dangerous to let go any longer. She felt tears come to her eyes, and stared down at the ground. "I know what you're saying is right, Quig, but I can't make a choice that may cost my father his life."

Quigley regretted what he was about to say. "Then you don't have to make the choice, I'm doing it for you."

She just watched helplessly as Quigley pushed passed her back into the infirmary. In a state of shock, she followed him at a distance.

Quigley returned to Vincent's bedside and made eye contact with Tifa. "I've got to give him an injection real quick."

Tifa knit her brows, seeing the look on Angel's face across the bed. "What's going on?"

Quigley reached down and picked up the intravenous line that was hooked up to the I.V. running into Vincent's neck. He found the injection port and drove the syringe's needle into it, slowly starting to inject the chemical into Vincent's body.

Within a few short seconds, Vincent's body began violent seizures and a strangled cry came from him. 

Tifa sat upright and went white. "What the Hell's happening?"

Quigley, done with the syringe let it fall to the floor and reached out, practically lying across Vincent to keep him from flinging himself onto the floor. "Killing Chaos!"

Angel snapped out of her daze and immediately ran toward the drug cabinet. She quickly drew up a dose of diazepam and ran back to her father's bedside. She picked up the intravenous line that Quigley had used and gave Vincent the bolus of Valium. Within a few sort moments, Vincent's seizures halted and he became deeply sedated.

Tifa was in utter confusion over what had just happened, but quickly figured it out. "That was the same stuff that Hojo gave him in the lab, wasn't it?"

"Yes." Quigley puffed, exhausted over holding the convulsing man down. "We're going to have to give him that every day until we can be certain that the demon is gone once and for all."

"You mean he's going to have to go through that repeatedly?" Tifa said, horrified.

"No, that reaction only happens as the demon's genetics are destroyed. Further doses should have much diminished reactions as there will be less actually happening." Quigley tried to sound reassuring, but was really only going on speculation. "I think we've seen the worst of it now."


	33. 169 Prognosis

Guilt's Cost: Part CLXIX

Prognosis

By Kristen Gupton-Williams

Two more hours passed with Tseng still in surgery. Cid had long since returned to the infirmary and was presently lying on his back in an empty bed with his baby soundly asleep on his chest. Tifa was still in her bed staring at her husband, hoping for his recovery and anxiously awaiting news about Tseng's condition. Angel and Reno were collapsed in a pair of chairs close to Vincent's bed, trying to rest as best they could under the uncomfortable circumstances.

Eventually, the doors to the surgery suite opened and Dr. Arlin emerged. Her surgical gown was absolutely drenched with blood and her hair was drenched with sweat from being held under the sterile cap she'd been wearing. With her face displaying no emotion whatsoever, she pulled the gown from her body and allowed it to fall to the floor. She scanned the room, seeing that all eyes were upon her.

Tifa was the first to break the silence that had descended. "How's Tseng?"

Janice rubbed her eyes and replaced her glasses. "He's still alive."

"Is he going to be okay?" She further pried, needing to know.

The doctor went to a chair and sat heavily, her exhaustion obvious. "I really can't tell you right now. I'm quite frankly surprised he survived at all. Two punctured lungs, a ruptured spleen, and multiple fractures. I can't imagine how anyone, Chaos or not, could have thrown someone with that much force. I don't know how he didn't break his neck or just die instantly from that."

Angel with her medical background wanted to know what exactly the doctor had been doing for the last several hours. "What repairs did you have to make?"

"Stabilize his chest for starters in order to stop the bleeding into his lungs so that he could breathe. Once that was done, I had to perform a spleenectomy since it was far too damaged to remain. There was also a pretty severe laceration to his liver from another broken rib so he lost a good portion of that as well. We put about forty pints of blood into him before it was all said and done." Janice shook her head and looked down. "Several times the amount of blood he normally has. Hopefully he doesn't need anymore tonight, our blood bank is completely drained."

Angel sighed and leaned back in her chair. "That's amazing…"

Tifa sat up. Much of what had just been said was within her scope of comprehension and its severity was understood. "Will we be able to see him soon… just in case?"

"We're going to keep him set up with all the monitors and everything in the operating room just in case we have to crack him open again, but I will let you in to see him once the orderlies have it cleaned up a little in there." The doctor knew that Tseng's chances of living through the next twenty-four hours were slim and everyone should get a chance to see him one more time in the event that he died.

Vincent was coherent enough now to follow the conversation. He lifted his head slightly to look at Janice. "I need to see him now."

"Just wait a few minutes, Vincent." She replied, not wanting any of them to witness the blood bath the surgery suite had become.

"I don't care about what it looks like in there." Vincent knit his brows. "I need to see my brother."

Dr. Arlin by now knew Vincent well enough to realize that he wasn't going to take no for an answer. She reluctantly got up from her seat and went to his bed. With Vincent still weak from his own trauma the only way to move him at the moment was to release the brakes on his bed and roll it into Tseng's room.

Vincent let his head fall back to the pillow as he felt his bed start to move. "Tifa, wait here, okay?"

She remained on her bed. "Okay, Vincent."

The doctor took Vincent into the surgery room, and placed his bed parallel to his brother's. Janice addressed the man and woman that were presently mopping the stained floor. "Let's leave for a few minutes so they can be alone."

Soon, Vincent was by himself. He rolled onto his side slowly so he could see Tseng. His eyes burned with tears upon what he saw. Tseng was covered from the neck down by a sheet that was once white before the surgery had turned it crimson. His face was pale and an endotracheal tube came out of his mouth, attached to the respirator that was helping him breathe.

Vincent couldn't help by feel crushed with guilt over causing this to happen. "Tseng, I'm so sorry…"

Tseng didn't respond in the least. The only movement from him was the rise and fall of his chest from the respirator.

Doing his best to move at all, Vincent stretched out a weak and badly shaking hand, managing to touch his brother's arm under the sheet. "I love you, I want you to know that. I can't believe this is happening…"

To Vincent's surprise Tseng moved slightly and his eyes parted. He was able to look over at Vincent with tired eyes, although he was unable to speak due to the tube in his throat.

Vincent took this as a sign of hope. Even though Tseng couldn't talk, he understood that Tseng didn't blame him for anything and was simply glad that he was here with him. After just a few short seconds, Tseng's eyes closed as he slipped back into unconsciousness.

Dr. Arlin didn't give them much time alone and soon she was back in and returned Vincent to his proper place in the infirmary.

With her husband parked back at her side, Tifa turned to him, "How is he?"

Vincent shrugged weakly, not able to look her in the eyes. "He looks terrible."

"Did he know you were there?" She reached over and brushed an errant strand of hair from his face.

"Yeah." The full reality of his brother's condition was sinking in and he was starting to feel ill.

"That's all that matters." Tifa tried to reassure him, seeing his growing despair.

"Tifa…" Vincent's voice wavered in a hushed tone only she could hear, "if he doesn't make it, what am I going to do?"

"I don't know, all we can do now is pray that he _will _make it." She replied gently.

The glaring lack of any religious direction in Vincent's current life reared its head. He didn't feel that he had any right to ask anyone, God or otherwise for anything. His once strong Buddhist upbringing had long since gone by the wayside and he found himself unable to do anything for his brother now. Yet Vincent was unwilling to lose the last of his original family and if praying is all that he had left, then that is what he would do.

By the time it was four in the morning, Angel, Reno, and Cid had left the infirmary to go to bed. Dr. Arlin was also gone, leaving Vincent and Tifa alone in the darkened room.

Vincent was unable to sleep, and lay awake staring over at Tifa who was out, courtesy of some pain pills that the doctor had provided her with. Suddenly, Vincent caught movement out of the corner of his eye and turned his head to see what was on the other side of his bed.

To his surprise, he saw the faint image of Aeris standing next to him. Had his body been strong enough he would have sat upright in his startled state but all he could do was remain as he was looking at her. He wanted to awaken Tifa to see if he was dreaming but something prevented him from doing so.

In a voice that was barely audible, Aeris spoke. "Hello Vincent."

He was silent, sure that he was hallucinating.

She smiled and cocked her head to the side. "Still not gonna talk to me, huh?"

"It's got to be the drugs…" he whispered to himself.

"No, I'm really here." Aeris replied, her mood apparently as light as ever. "I'm here to help Tseng."

Delusion or not, anything to help Tseng was worth pursuing. "He's going to make it?"

Aeris's smile didn't falter as she shook her head. "I'm afraid not."

"No…" Vincent reached out weakly for the ghost before him. "He has to make it…"

"I'm sorry, Vincent, but it's his time." She didn't move as his hand passed right through her. "I'm just here to help him go on. I thought you'd at least like it if someone you knew came to take him."

"I don't want him to die." Vincent's voice, no matter how much he wanted to scream out wouldn't go above a whisper. "He can't die."

"There's nothing that we can do about it." Aeris's face displayed pity for Vincent's pain. "When the planet calls-".

"Don't give me that planet shit." Vincent's pain turned to anger. "I've been laying here all night begging God to let my brother live and I'm not going to let him go."

Aeris's shoulders slumped, her long time frustration at Vincent coming to the surface. "It's out of our control."

"Don't you go near him!" Vincent again struggled to grasp at her, only to find his hand not contacting anything tangible.

"Whether I go in there or not, he's going to die. I just came to try and make it easier for him." She visibly frowned.

"He's not going to die." Vincent narrowed his eyes, ready to fight whatever unseen powers that were gathering to take his brother's life.

"There is no getting through to you, is there?" Aeris crossed her arms. "You were never nice to me when I was alive and trying to help, and even now you're going to make demands toward me of things I have no control over."

Vincent absolutely knew he must be going insane. "This is ridiculous. I'm arguing with a hallucination."

Aeris scowled. "It serves you right that everyone you love dies, you miserable bastard."

At hearing this coming from Aeris's lips, Vincent growled. "If this was real, you never would have said something like that."

Aeris's face immediately softened. "I'm sorry, it's just that dealing with you is so… frustrating."

"What do you really want?" Vincent asked, starting to feel that something was very wrong.

"Do you really want your brother to live?" Aeris asked, leaning closer.

"Of course I do." He snapped back.

"Then you will have to do something." Aeris lost her smile once more.

"What?" Vincent felt a tightness in his throat.

"Leave here immediately and never come back." She said sternly.

"Why? How's that going to save my brother?" Vincent asked, more than confused.

"You can't ask any questions, you must simply leave and never again have contact with anyone here, including Tifa." Aeris loomed over the bedside.

"That doesn't make any sense!" Vincent's voice finally broke loose of the whisper and he yelled, "You're not Aeris!"

With that, the vision of the young girl beside him began to change, and within a few short moments he was staring at the demon that had been living inside him for all these years. It bared its teeth at him, "Get out of this base before they kill us both!"

Vincent cried out as the monster reached out and placed one of its clawed hands around his throat.

Within an instant the demon was gone, and Vincent found himself being shaken violently by Tifa who had gotten completely out of her own bed to stand next to his. "Come on, wake up!"

As his senses returned to him, Vincent realized what was really going on. He looked Tifa dead in the eye. "Get Quigley, now!"


	34. 170 Transitions

Guilt's Cost: Part CLXX

Transitions

By Kristen Gupton-Williams

"Vincent, you were having a nightmare." Tifa said down to him, her hands still resting on his shoulders.

"No, it was more than that." Vincent locked gazes with her. "You need to go get Quigley right now, I need to talk to him."

"Why, what's wrong?" She asked, not accustomed to seeing him this upset.

"Just go get him, all right?" He replied, trying to calm himself.

"Okay." Tifa limped the short distance to the intercom panel. She looked at the various names on the list next to it, until she came across Quigley and his room number. Tifa typed in the five number code and waited.

After a few moments, Quigley's voice responded. "Who is this? Do you have any idea what time it is?"

"Quigley, it's Tifa." She was relieved to hear him. "Vincent needs you."

"What's going on?" The fact that he had been awoken from a sound sleep was obvious.

"He won't say, just that he needs you here now." 

"Fine, just give me a few minutes." Quigley sighed before letting go of the intercom button.

It wasn't long before Quigley, clad only in his bathrobe walked into the infirmary. He made his way to Vincent's side and stared down at him. "What's the problem?"

"I need another dose right now." Vincent said flatly.

"Of the Chaos drug?" Quigley needed clarification in his dazed state.

"Yeah." Vincent let his head rest back against his pillow.

"It hasn't been long enough. We should at least give it a day." Quigley was never one for breaking protocol.

"I don't care how long you're supposed to wait between doses. Chaos is still in my mind and he will either try to get me to escape or die trying." Vincent closed his eyes, still remembering the feeling of the creature's hands upon his throat.

"No way." Tifa leaned over, as if to shield him from Quigley. "You just had a bad dream, Vincent. There's no reason to risk going through another injection because of it."

He gently reached up and pushed her back. "It was more than a dream, Tifa. If we don't kill him quickly and completely there's no telling what he'll do in desperation."

Quigley shoved his hands into the pockets of his robe. "I'm going to have to agree with Vincent on this one. If he feels the demon is a threat still then we have to act. We can't risk letting that monster do anymore harm."

Tifa leaned back to steady herself on her own bed. She felt so helpless. "Vincent, are you sure?"

The reality of all that the demon had done up until this point was foremost on Vincent's mind. His brother was most likely dying, his wife had been shot, and Cid and his infant had almost been killed. There were far too many people in the balance not to take the risk. "I'm sure."

"Fine." Quigley shuffled from the room to retrieve the needed chemical from his lab.

Tifa looked at Vincent with fear and sadness. "I just want this all to be over."

"That's why I have to do this." Vincent tried to smile. It wasn't fair for her to have to watch all of what was going on around her and he knew it. "Why don't you go to our room and get some sleep?"

"Are you crazy?" Tifa placed her hands on her hips. "How am I supposed to just go to bed when you're about to undergo another injection of that… stuff?"

"I don't want you to have to see that again, Tifa." Vincent reached out for her hand. "You're hurt and you really do need to rest."

"I don't care about sleeping right now." She became defiant. "There is no way that I'm going to leave you. Not now, not ever."

Vincent was genuinely touched by her stubbornness. His smile widened as she held his hand firmly in her own. "Have I mentioned that I love you?"

She scoffed, "Not near enough."

Vincent wasn't exactly certain what she meant by that, but when she also broke into a grin, he saw that her playfulness had returned. "Well, I'll try to remember to do it more often."

She bent down and kissed him. "I love you, too."

Their moment was broken when Quigley stumbled back into the room with a loaded syringe in his hand. "Ready?"

Vincent nodded. "As much as possible."

"Good." Quigley looked over at Tifa. "Dr. Arlin had some extra doses of Valium drawn up in case he had another seizure tonight, right?"

"Yeah, they're right here," she pointed to a small tray between the two beds.

"Have one ready to give to me, okay? Just in case." Quigley asked as he picked up the section of Vincent's I.V. line that had the injection port on it. Slowly, he injected the chemical, watching Vincent for any reaction.

The burn of the drug entering his vein made him tense up. Then Chaos, in his last attempt at survival tried to get Vincent to move away but his broken and weak body just flailed piteously on the bed. The demon forced out one final ear-shattering scream before losing control over Vincent's body. Instead of the full blown seizures that Vincent had suffered that last time he was given this drug, he was reduced to trembling following Chaos's surrender.

Quigley and Tifa stood there watching as Vincent quieted down and his trembling abated. Within a few moments, he was able to talk again, "Tifa… I'm gonna be sick…"

Immediately, she retrieved a small garbage can sitting between the beds and held it up.

Vincent rolled onto his side as the wave of nausea grew. He took the trashcan from Tifa and gave into his sickness. Tifa remained at his side stroking his back in an attempt to comfort him.

Quigley in the meanwhile started to feel ill as well. He had never been a strong-stomached man, and the sight of Vincent vomiting was more than he could bear. Deciding that Vincent wasn't in any more immediate danger, he turned from the scene and headed for the door. "Try and hold off calling me until morning, okay?"

Tifa barely gave any regard to the retreating man, focusing instead on her sick husband. "Any better?"

The nausea was passing and Vincent handed the trashcan back to her.

Tifa took the can and set it on the floor as far away as she could without walking on her injured leg. She then grabbed a handful of tissue and handed it to Vincent. "Here."

He grabbed the tissue without even looking up. After wiping his mouth, he threw the tissues to the floor and rolled onto his back. He was drenched in sweat from the drug reaction and vomiting, but still looked strangely relieved. "I feel better."

She smiled as she took some more tissue and wiped dry his forehead. "Good. If you think you'll be okay for a few minutes, I'd like to go check on Tseng."

"Sure." Vincent suddenly felt very tired and closed his eyes.

Tifa limped around her bed and picked up the pair of crutches that the doctor had left for her earlier. Carefully she made her way into the surgery suite where Tseng was being kept. The light inside was very dim and she had to let her eyes adjust. She had come in to look at him shortly after Vincent had visited earlier but Tseng looked much different now under the blue glow of his monitors. He was asleep and she didn't want to wake him and so just stood staring. The pale light served only to make him look more like his brother. Tifa felt tears sting her eyes as she realized that Tseng was not going to live. No doctor had to tell her that he was going to die; just from the feeling in the room she _knew. _It was almost as though Tseng himself was telling her and yet at the same time, he was also telling her that it was okay. It immediately brought back memories of her mother's death. Just before her mother had passed, the same feeling had come over her. At once, Tifa knew that she should get Vincent to be here.

She went back out into the infirmary and to Vincent's beside. Tifa shook him gently back out of his sleep. As his eyes opened and focused on her, she whispered. "Vince, I think you need to come see Tseng."

Somehow, Vincent at once knew. Although his body was still in terrible shape, he managed to sit up. He grabbed hold of his I.V. stand to steady himself and draped his other arm around Tifa's shoulders. Together, they managed to make it back to Tseng's bedside.

They stood together looking down at him, hearing the heart monitor slowly begin to indicate that his heart rate was slowing.

Even though she knew that is was pointless, Tifa asked Vincent, "Do you want me to call the doctor?"

Not wanting his brother's final moments to be a flurry of medical activity, Vincent quietly declined. "No."

The number on the heart monitor continued to drop as Vincent and Tifa stayed at his side.

Eighty.

Seventy.

At fifty, a quiet alarm started to go off on the monitor. With tears in his eyes, Vincent reached up and hit the silence button on it.

Forty.

Twenty.

Then, the number simply went to zero.

Tifa and Vincent held onto each other, both crying quietly. At least they had been there.

Dr. Arlin ran into the room and saw the two of them there as the various monitors silently flashed in the background. The alert had been transmitted to her room and she had come as quickly as possible, but upon seeing Vincent and Tifa standing as they were at the side of the bed she knew that this was not a time for medical heroics. "He's gone?"

Vincent turned his tearful eyes to her, letting his expression alone be her answer.

Janice felt her own tears make tracks down her cheeks. She walked over and turned off the machines and monitors. She then removed the endotracheal tube from Tseng so that no one else would have to see him that way. She excused herself from the room before locking herself in her office to cry.

***

Reno awoke from a sound sleep to grab his ringing cell phone from the nightstand. He looked at the clock and knew that by the early hour that this call had to be important. In fact, before he even answered, he suspected what it would be about. "Hello?"

Dr. Arlin's voice was barely recognizable on the other end. It took her several stuttering attempts before she was able to get out the simple code, "You… you've been promoted."

Reno flipped the phone closed and let it fall to the floor. His throat tightened up and he felt the unfamiliar heat of tears in his eyes. After gathering himself for a moment, he reached over and gently woke up Angel. 

She looked up at him with groggy eyes. "What?"

He pulled her over and into his arms. "Tseng is gone."

Angel, having been dreading this news broke down at once in Reno's embrace. With her crying against him, Reno gave into his own tears as well.


	35. 171 Wake

Guilt's Cost: Part CLXXI

Wake

By Kristen Gupton-Williams

Hi to all of you who are still sticking with this story! You are dedicated to have gotten this far ;) Anyway, you might wonder what is up with this writing blitz after months of me not adding to this story. Well, in short, I'm bound and determined to get this monster finished off before I have surgery in October. No, it's not that I think I might die and leave this whole thing dangling off in space, it's just that I've got some other things I need to really get going on, and that's just the most convenient deadline I could think of. So, read on, m'kay?

With Tseng's passing, a somber tone descended upon the entire ASRIO complex. When morning came, Quigley and Porter returned to finish repairing Vincent's body. Vincent was despondent and laid completely still as he was worked on, staring blankly at the ceiling above.

Tifa remained at his side, never daring to leave him for more than a few moments in his current condition. The best she could do for him for now was just to be there. After a few hours, Quigley and Porter had Vincent in as good of shape as possible with what they had at hand. Now able to move easily on his own, Vincent asked the doctor to remove the I.V. line from him so he could go on unfettered. The doctor obeyed and disconnected the line from the fluids he had been receiving, but left the intravenous catheter taped into his neck for the future doses of Quigley's drug.

Vincent wandered back into the surgery suite where his brother's body was still lying beneath a sheet. He pulled back the cover and looked down at Tseng's colorless and blank face. His eyes were half-open and dulled. Vincent locked into the dead gaze and stood silent. Tifa came in a short time later and stood beside him, slipping her arm around his waist. He responded by placing an arm around her in turn, and cocking his head so that it rested against hers.

The door to the room opened once more, and Angel and Reno silently entered. They went to the other side of Tseng's bed.

Angel's eyes were horribly red from crying all night. She looked up and Vincent and asked, "You were with him, right?"

He responded by nodding shallowly. "Yeah."

"Good, I think that's what he would have wanted." Angel said, clinging tightly to Reno.

Vincent pulled his gaze up to look at Reno. "So, you're in charge now?"

Reno frowned. "Not exactly how I wanted to advance in the workplace, you know."

In a move that surprised everyone present, Vincent extended his hand to his son-in-law. "I know you'll do all right."

After the initial shock passed, Reno accepted Vincent's handshake. "That… that means a lot."

Vincent gave a faltering smile. "Tseng knew what he was doing when he put you second in command. He really did like you."

"Thanks." Reno wasn't accustomed to such words from Vincent.

Vincent turned his attention to Angel. "How are you doing?"

She shrugged slightly. "I just can't believe this."

He stepped around the table and took her into his arms. "Neither can I."

Tifa watched Vincent realizing what was going on. Tseng had been, for all intensive purposes the patriarch of this miss-matched family and now that he was gone, Vincent was going to step up and fill the void. She knew that she was seeing Vincent change right before her eyes.

Reno suddenly seemed to grow uncomfortable. "Hey…"

Everyone looked at him.

He ran a hand through his hair, which was unbelievably messier than normal. "Can I have a moment… alone?"

"Sure." Vincent motioned for everyone to leave the room.

After he was certain they were gone and out of earshot, Reno sat on the edge of the dead man's bed. "Well old man, looks like this is it, huh?"

Reno allowed a second of silence to pass as though actually expecting an answer. "Well damn it, this sucks. I'd rather have you here than to have your job."

Again, he let a moment lapse. "I shouldn't have let you go out on the ground. You should have been in the chopper with Angel… but there's no point in playing the blame game now anyway is there?"

Reno paused again, this time to wipe his eyes. "Shit… we've been together for so long. I can't believe this is how it ends. With my loud mouth and obnoxious ways I think we both figured I'd be the first one to be laying cold, right?"

He slid back to his feet. "I'm gonna miss you. Hope I don't screw up your little operation here too much. You worked your ass off to get this whole ASRIO thing where it is, and I know it. I won't let you down, okay?" 

Reno pulled the sheet back over Tseng and turned to leave. Just before going out the door he looked over his shoulder. "I'll keep an eye on your retard brother, too."

Cid had woken up and arrived in the infirmary to check on Tifa and Vincent. From the expressions everyone wore as he came through the door, he knew that something terrible had happened. He went straight to Tifa, seeing that she had been crying. "What's going on?"

She reached out and took the baby from the pilot's arms, knowing that the infant would comfort her. "It's Tseng. He died last night."

Cid's eyes widened and his heart sank. "No shit?"

Tifa eased herself down into a nearby chair. "No. Everyone is taking it pretty hard."

"Wow." Cid landed heavily in the chair next to her. "How's Sunshine doing with it?"

Tifa glanced over at Vincent before turning her attention back to the baby. "He's dealing with it in his own way. I know it's really bothering him, but he's doing his best to keep it together for everyone else's sake."

"You mean Vincent is dealing with something like this in a way that isn't just a big self pity party?" Cid was all too aware of the man's normal coping abilities.

"No," Tifa smiled down at the infant as his tiny blue eyes peeked up at her. "He laid in bed silent for a long time right afterward, but once Angel and Reno showed up, he's actually started trying to comfort everyone else."

"That doesn't sound like our Vinny." Cid frowned while digging through a pocket for some gum. "Why do you think he's acting like this?"

She shrugged, "Honestly? I think he's trying to take Tseng's place in some way. I don't mean as in he wants to run ASRIO or anything, just that he's trying to keep everyone together."

"Oh." Cid considered her words while popping in his gum. "I guess he had to grow up sometime."

"I don't know." Tifa lowered her voice so that only Cid could hear. "Part of me say's that he's trying to divert himself from his own feelings by worrying about everyone else's. The Vincent you and I both know is off dying somewhere of guilt."

"Maybe," he sighed back, "then again, maybe not. It might just be that Sue has learned that his usual introverted self torture neither changes anything that has happened nor does anyone around him any favors."

Hearing such an insightful comment from Cid impressed her. She turned to look at him.

Cid saw her unusual expression and knit his brow. "What?"

"That was just a more well thought out statement than I'm used to hearing from you." She smiled.

"Christ, here we go with the girly 'feeling' discussion…" Cid sank further into his chair.

"No," she reached out and patted his knee. "I'm not going to torture you like that today."

"Good." Cid got up. "I'm gonna go talk to the men before you do try and make me into your best girlfriend again."

Tifa shook her head and rolled her eyes. No matter what, Cid was still Cid.

Cid strolled over to where Reno and Vincent were standing. Not knowing how else to behave in this situation, Cid went forward and embraced Vincent. "I'm sorry."

Vincent clapped him on the back before stepping away. "Thanks."

"You're okay, right?" Cid dared to ask, not wanting to pry into Vincent's feelings too much.

He shrugged and shoved his hands into the pockets of the jeans he was currently wearing. "It's hard…"

Cid nodded; Shera's death still to fresh in his mind. "Yeah. If there's anything I can do, let me know."

"Sure." Vincent flashed a weak smile.

Reno felt awkward as Cid and Vincent slipped into a brief silence. He needed to turn the conversation to anything but Tseng's death. "You and the kid doing okay after last night?"

Cid glanced over at Tifa and his baby. "Yeah. Scared the living shit out of me to have to ditch my plane like that with the runt next to me. He doesn't seem to have minded, though."

Reno smirked. "I went out to the hanger this morning. Brad's got that rust bucket of yours inside. Really fucked it up, didn't you?"

"Hey, _any _landing that you can walk away from is a good one." Cid shot back. "I don't know if we'll be able to get that plane in the air again, though."

"If anyone can, it'll be Brad." Reno replied.

Cid scoffed. "Please! Everything that son of a bitch knows about mechanics I taught him. I wouldn't trust that fucker to change the spark plugs in my car, let alone work on my plane."

"Well you'd better get the hell out there, 'cause he's already working on it." Reno informed him.

"God damn it!" Cid strode back over to where Tifa was sitting and reclaimed his child before storming out of the room and up to the airfield.


	36. 172 Motives

Guilt's Cost: Part CLXXII

Motives

By Kristen Gupton-Williams

That afternoon, Vincent and Tifa were sitting in their room watching television when Dr. Arlin let herself in. She shut the door behind her. In her hand she carried a notebook which she sat on her lap as she took up a chair close to them. "There are some things I need to discuss with you, Vincent."

He leaned forward, wondering what was on her mind. "Yes?"

She flipped open the notebook and pulled out a pen from her pocket. "I plan to have Tseng cremated tomorrow and I wanted to know what you would like done with the ashes?"

Vincent knit his brow, thinking that this was unusual. "Tseng wanted to be cremated?" 

Janice pursed her lips. This conversation was going to be hard enough without Vincent's objections. "He never made any request as to what was to be done following his death and it is our standard practice to cremate ASRIO agents who die, for the sake of secrecy and privacy."

"That may be, but everyone in our family is buried together in Wutai, and I can't imagine that he would want it otherwise." Vincent said, leaning back in his seat.

"To go to the time and effort to actually plan a full scale funeral and burial would not be something that Tseng would have liked. Furthermore, in doing so Shin-Ra is bound to learn of his death and they will try to exploit this time of reorganization to their advantage." She laid the pen on the paper before her, seeing that this wasn't going to be quick.

"The leader of this organization dies and you _don't _think Shin-Ra is going to find out?" Vincent almost laughed. He didn't want to upset Dr. Arlin or try to usurp her authority, but Tseng was _his _brother. "That company may be run by some people with insane ideas, but they aren't stupid and this will get out to them at some point. I want my brother laid to rest with our father and his stepmother in Wutai. I appreciate your thoughts on this matter, but it is not negotiable."

Dr. Arlin tensed her jaw, trying to stop herself from saying anything that she would come to regret. She couldn't help but resent the fact that Vincent, an _outsider _to this organization was putting himself in any sort of position to make demands or change protocols. "I'm going to have to talk to Reno about this. It will be his decision."

Vincent wasn't really worried if her statement was supposed to be any type of threat. He was fairly certain that by this point, Reno would go with his wishes in regards to this situation, or at least he would be too afraid to defy Vincent. "You do that."

Without another word, she got up and walked briskly from the room, slamming the door behind her.

Tifa was a little taken aback by the way Janice had just conducted herself. "That's not the doctor we've come to know."

Vincent frowned to himself. "She cared an awful lot for Tseng and has been associated with him for a very long time. I think that she sort of feels that he belongs to her in some way, since I was out of the picture for so much of his life."

"Vincent?" Tifa leaned closer to him.

"Yeah?" 

"You've been really more… considerate of the feelings of everyone around you since Tseng passed this morning. Now I'm not saying that it's a bad thing, but it really isn't like… _you._" She felt awkward even saying this to him, but knew it had to be addressed.

"I know." Vincent slumped over and rested his head in his hands. "I know…"

Tifa moved closer to him and stroked his back. "Can I ask why?"

He sighed heavily; the impending tears evident in his voice. "I'm just trying not to act out the way I really feel."

"And that is?" Tifa suspected the answer, but knew that Vincent needed to hear himself say it.

"I killed him, Tifa." His shoulders heaved as he tried in vain to keep from crying. "There is no one else to blame for his injuries, I did it. My real desire is to run as far away from all this as I can and disappear. There's no point in doing that, though and I know it. Whether I am to blame or not, and believe me, there is no doubt in my mind that I am at fault, running away, hiding, or getting as angry as Hell isn't going to change anything. It certainly isn't going to bring my brother back, so the only thing that I can do to help anyone is to try and keep it together. I don't really give a damn about anyone's feelings beside yours and Angel's, but I'll pretend that I do, in the hopes that some good might come out of it."

She sat silently next to him for several minutes. "Well if it is all just a big act, you've been doing a Hell of a job at it, because you even had Cid fooled."

"I'm just so angry right now…and there isn't anyway for me to express it that won't either make everyone hate me or make everyone miserable." He sat up straight and turned his red eyes to her. "What am I supposed to do, Tifa?"

Tifa put her arms around him and pulled him close. "You can't just keep it all inside though, Vincent. Everyone has appreciated how you've been acting since this morning but I see the man that I love being so confused and hurt that he's almost trying to become Tseng himself. It's like your offering to sacrifice yourself and who you are in order to fill the void left by him."

Vincent knew deep down that she was exactly right. His thoughts today had mainly consisted of thinking of what Tseng would say or do in the situations presenting themselves. "You're right…"

"Just because Tseng isn't here to behave in a certain way doesn't mean that you're expected to do it. We all need you to be Vincent." She rocked him slightly in her arms.

He couldn't hold back the tears anymore.

She kissed his cheek. "Tseng may have brought us all together here, but just because he's gone now doesn't mean that this is all going to fall apart. That's what you're afraid of, isn't it?"

How Tifa could read him so well was beyond comprehension. He managed a choked reply. "Right."

"No one is going anywhere, okay?" Tifa smiled to herself; "Tseng wasn't the only thing that everyone here had in common. Your brother may be gone, but there are a lot of others in your family now and they will always be here."

Vincent pulled back from her and tried to dry his eyes. "Every time my family has come together, it was just ripped apart again, and I've always ended up alone. When our parents were killed, when I was taken by Hojo, and now with Tseng's death I feel like it's all coming undone again."

"It's not going to end like that this time, though." Tifa let her smile linger on her lips. "I hate to say it, but this time Vincent Valentine's story isn't going to end in pain and solitude. There are just too many people around that care about you now and I'm married to you, in case you've forgotten, meaning that you're stuck with me until the bitter end."  
He actually managed to grin, "I didn't forget."

"Good." Tifa reached out and mussed his hair. "This time it ends with you getting the body you've wanted and living happily ever after with Angel, Reno, and me."

"God, does Reno really have to be in this story?" Vincent's smile widened.

"I'm afraid so," Tifa laughed. "He is your son-in-law."

"True." He shrugged, "I guess it's beyond my control who Angel chooses to have in her life. Liking Reno definitely must have been something that she got from Aeris's genetics, though."

"Maybe, she liked everyone it seems." Tifa nodded in agreement. "By the way, I think you are long over due to tell Angel about her biological mother, don't you?"

Vincent distinctly remembered promising to do so long ago. "We'll all get together for dinner tonight so that you can fill in any blanks my memory draws about her. Plus, you did quite frankly, know her a whole Hell of a lot better than me."

"Good enough." Tifa got up from the couch. "I'll go tell Angel and Reno about our plans."

"You might as well tell Cid." Vincent flopped onto his side. "He knew her, too."

"Okay." Tifa perked up. "I'll be back in a little bit, try and get some rest now."

"Sure." Vincent was more than a little in need of sleep and complied. As he started to drift off, he tried to think of exactly what to tell Angel about Aeris.

Tifa made her way on crutches down the hall, knowing that dinner plans would help everyone get their mind away from Tseng's passing. She passed Reno on the way, and took notice that he didn't look happy.

***

Reno took little notice of Tifa as he stormed down the hall. He got to Vincent's door and threw it open.

Vincent was startled by this; the second of two unannounced visitations today. Once he saw that it was Reno coming in, he didn't bother to get up from the couch he was laying on.

"Yeah, don't get up." Reno said as he helped himself to a drink from the small refrigerator in the room. With that in hand, he fell into the same chair that Dr. Arlin had been in just a short while before.

Vincent looked at his visitor, noticing the sour look on his face. "What's going on?"

Reno took a sip before answering. "Let's see, I've officially been in charge for less than a day and I've already gotten chewed out."

Although he had an idea, Vincent ventured to ask. "Really? Who?"

"That God damned doctor, that's who." Again, Reno drank. "What'd ya' have to go and piss her off for?"

Vincent groaned and sat up. "It's not like I tried to. I just wanted my brother to be taken care of in a way that suits him and our family."

"Well, she's on the war path about it." He set his beverage down on the coffee table. "I was _trying _to take a fucking nap and she comes flying in, telling me that you had told her that you weren't going to allow Tseng to just be cremated, and that she didn't think you had any right to tell her how to do things."

"So what did you say?" His curiosity got the better of him.

"I said that you're his brother and all the decisions regarding his final arrangements were yours to make." Reno scowled, "Needless to say, that didn't go over well."

"I can imagine." He leaned forward. "Thanks for seeing it my way, though."

"Well, I really do think it's your choice." Reno said. "She read me the riot act about it and then walked out. I know her, though, and it's how she deals with things like this."

"Yeah?" Vincent, for all the time he had spent in the infirmary didn't feel as though he knew the doctor very well.

"Sure, I've seen it before. When something really upsets her, instead of getting all sad and teary eyed like most women, she flies off the handle and becomes a real tyrant for a few days. Janice, for whatever reason loved the old guy even though she never really let on. I guess it was because she knew it was pointless." Reno picked up his right arm and let his wrist flop, "She knew about the whole queer bit."

Vincent cocked an eyebrow at Reno's gesture. "Well you know her the best, I suppose."

Reno shrugged. "In any event, I need to figure out exactly what you plan on so that I can get shit set up."

"Okay." He had already given thought to it and was ready. "I want him buried in Wutai on the family plot. I want a funeral held there prior to his interment, so that our few surviving family members and friends and come."

"All right." Reno nodded. "I'll get the airship ready to take everyone and I'll call ahead to make the arrangements needed. I can also call one of the papers there to place a death announcement and schedule for the services."

"That sounds fine. I can give you the name of the cemetery when you're ready." Vincent was impressed with Reno's willingness and ability to get this done.

Reno caught the appreciative look on Vincent's face. "And don't go staring at me like that. I ain't doing all this for _you, _okay? It's for Tseng, don't forget it."

"That's just as good, Reno. Thank you." Vincent smiled.


	37. 173 Beach

Guilt's Cost: Part CLXXIII

Beach

By Kristen Gupton-Williams

Everyone gathered for dinner at a restaurant up in the city. There were a number of people sitting around the large table they had reserved; Vincent, Tifa, Angel, Reno, Cid, Brad, Porter, Rayna, Quigley, Dr. Arlin, and several other ASRIO agents.

Janice Arlin had ended up directly opposite to Vincent, and rarely looked at him through the duration of the entire meal. Once dinner was over however, she locked gazes with him. "Vincent, am I to understand that you and Tseng were Buddhist?"

Vincent cocked an eyebrow, not just at the question but also the rather biting tone in which it was asked. "Yes, we are."

"Huh," she crossed her arms over her chest, "I was under the impression that Buddhists were always cremated after death."

Her attempt to catch Vincent in some weird pigeonhole didn't rattle him. "Generally, that is a Buddhist tradition, yes. But, Tseng and I are Wutain Buddhists, and therein have somewhat different ways. Burial for our people is the norm, such as was done with our relatives."

The doctor hadn't done enough homework on the subject and was angry with herself for not having known better. She relaxed her arms and let them fall to rest on the table before her. "I see…"

Vincent shrugged it off, not bothering to notice that all the other conversations going on around the table had ceased. Everyone was looking and Vincent and Dr. Arlin, all thinking it a little odd that she would bring up such a thing at dinner.

Janice did notice however, and immediately became more than a little self conscious about the way she had been acting. Her face flushed red, and she wanted to disappear. Knowing that it was better save face at this point than to keep acting so angry, she picked up her wineglass and stood. "I would like to propose a toast."

Everyone in attendance immediately stood, glasses in hand.

"I know what is foremost on all of our minds this evening and it is of course, Tseng. He was a good man, with a dedication like I have never known. We will all miss him very much as he was such a prominent figure in our lives. To Tseng." She raised her glass.

All present agreed with her words and showed it accordingly. As they began to retake their seats, Vincent remained standing for a moment longer. "Thank you, Doctor."

She smiled weakly, "It's nothing."

Vincent reciprocated her smile as he sat back down. He knew that she was trying to apologize to him in her own way, although be it more than slightly indirect.

After leaving the restaurant, Tifa had a strange request as she and Vincent went down the street. She stopped about halfway back to the base entrance and turned to him. "Vincent?"

He looked at her. "Yeah?"

"I want to go to the beach," she asked.

He knitted his brows. "You want to walk all the way to the beach on crutches? At night?"

She broke into a wide grin. "Sure."

"Why don't we just wait a few days until you can walk on your own?" Vincent retorted.

"Come on!" Tifa was growing anxious. "Can't you do anything spontaneous and fun every once in a while?"

Vincent sighed and rolled his eyes, aware that he couldn't possibly deny her such a request. "Okay, but I'm not carrying you."

"You won't have to," she at once started back down the street as fast as she could go with the assistance of her crutches. 

Vincent went behind her at a short distance, causing Tifa to look back over her shoulder every so often to make sure that he was still following.

When they got to the end of the street they were on, they walked through a small parking lot and reached the sand. The tide was out and there was quite a way to go in order to reach the water. The full moon illuminated the sand and water, giving the whole scene a somewhat ghostly glow.

Vincent took one look at how far it was to the water and knew that Tifa would never make it that distance on crutches in something as hard to walk through as sand. In one fluid movement, he swept her up into his arms, causing her to drop the crutches and squeal in surprise at the same time. "What are you doing?"

"You can't make it all the way out there on your own." He said quietly as he started walking out toward the waves.

"I thought you said you weren't going to carry me." Tifa feigned a pout.

"What, don't you ever do anything fun and spontaneous?" he said flippantly back.

"Oh sure, now you're just making fun of me." Tifa laughed.

"That's because you're so damned funny." Vincent replied, sounding almost serious.

Tifa was happy. She and Vincent had had very little time together alone lately when they weren't simply asleep. It had been far too long since she had seen Vincent like he was acting now. She rested her head against his chest. "I wish it could always be like this."

Even though it would have been hard work for anyone else to make it through the sand carrying another person, Vincent's mechanical body made it easy. He got down to where the water was touching the sand. "Do you want to go in?"

Tifa giggled. "Is it cold?"

Vincent shrugged as he started to walk into the surf. "I couldn't tell you, but you'll find out soon enough."

"You're probably going to drop me in the water!" Tifa clung to him tighter.

"I'm not going to let go." Vincent kept moving forward. "Let me know if it's too cold, though."

Again she squealed as the ocean water splashed up and hit her back. "It's cold, it's cold!"

Vincent laughed. "You haven't even given yourself a chance to get used to it first."

"There isn't going to be any getting used to it, it's cold!" Tifa was nearly climbing up him to get away from the water. "And how do you know you aren't going to rust or something? Get us back on the beach!"

Vincent silenced any further protests by kissing her. It had been a long time since they had done anything even remotely romantic.

Tifa submitted fully and slid a hand behind his head, preventing him from pulling away. She didn't notice that he was still moving into deeper water. When they did finally break off the kiss, they were completely submerged in the cool water up to their shoulders.

Knowing that the water would help support her, Vincent let Tifa's lower body slide off his arm so that she was standing before him. No longer having to support her, he placed his hands on the sides of her face and just stared down at her.

Tifa smiled back as the small waves lapped around them. Time seemed to stop as they stood there. "What's on your mind?"

He just shook his head slightly and sighed. "I don't know."

Tifa knew what probably _was_ on his mind, but also knew that with his body currently as it was that any sort of meaningful sexual encounter for him at this point wasn't possible. Deciding that maybe she should attempt some sort of conversation, she spoke quietly. "I can't remember the last time I was in the ocean."

Vincent's smile broadened. "If it was when we were here seven years ago with AVALANCHE and you, Yuffie, and Cloud came out here to swim, then I remember it good enough for you."

She was impressed by his memory of that time, but also confused. "That was the last time I was in the ocean, but you didn't go with us, so how do you remember it?"

"I didn't go with you, but I did watch you…" he confessed. "I sat under the pier in the shade and saw the three of you out here playing."

"Really?" Tifa raised an eyebrow, "why?"

If it had been daylight, it would have been easy to see him blush. "I'm a sucker for a pretty girl in a swimsuit, I guess."

"You'd better mean me and not Yuffie!" she teased.

He outright laughed. "Please, of course I was watching you. Yuffie… well, you know I didn't like her much."

"Whatever you say, Vincent." She got closer to him and rested her head on his chest. "What about you? When was the last time you were in the water?"

Again he sighed, "Before I left home in Wutai. My dad was a fisherman and Tseng and I would go out with him on the boat all the time and spend the day swimming. I haven't been in since then, until now. I guess it was because it just brought back memories of home and I didn't want them."

She could plainly hear the sadness in his voice and was sorry for having inadvertently pained him. "It's been a long time, then."

"Yeah," Vincent shrugged, "but this is just as good as it was back then."

Tifa reached up and placed her hand on the back of his neck again and pulled him down for another kiss. If he had been able to distract her from the water by doing this, then she could distract him from his memories the same way.

The low temperature of the water did eventually start to take its toll on Tifa and she started to shiver. Vincent noticed this and broke from the kiss and took her again into his arms and back to the sand. She went without protest, feeling that if she did stay in any longer that she would get hypothermic.

Once on shore again, Vincent fell to his knees with her still in his arms. He laid back on the still warm sand and soon Tifa was laying beside him, her head resting upon his shoulder. 

Vincent suddenly grew a little self conscious about the obvious sexual tension in the air. "Tifa?"

She looked into his eyes. "What?"

"Can I…" his voice trailed off as his nerves got the better of him.

"What, Vincent?" Tifa hated how he was still so shy despite the fact they were wed.

Deciding that actions might speak louder than words, Vincent propped himself up on his elbow and gently pushed her onto her back. He let his lips meet hers again in a deep kiss, and allowed his free hand to glide down to the bottom hem of her shirt where it stopped.

Tifa knew that he was hesitating while he awaited some sign of approval from her. She placed her hand over his and placed it beneath her blouse.

Seeing that she wasn't going to protest, he moved his cold metallic hand over her belly and upward daring to touch her breast.

She shivered slightly at the coolness of his hand, but quickly grew accustomed to it. Tifa pulled back from their kiss. "Vincent, what can I do… for you?"

He smiled down at her. "All I want is to take care of you."

Any further words were halted as he kissed her again and invaded her mouth. At the same time he ventured to let his hand move down and beneath her skirt. Although his hand wasn't flesh, he was unbelievable delicate with his touch.

Tifa writhed slowly beside him as he continued to let his hand explore her. It was only a short while later that he brought her over the edge, causing her to cry out her passions into the night. 

Thus relieved, Tifa rolled onto her side in order to nestle closer to him. "I still wish there was something I could do for you."

The expression on his face made it evident that he was as content as humanly possible. Having been able to see to her needs was all he needed to be satisfied. "You've done more for me than you could ever know."


	38. 174 Morning

Guilt's Cost: Part CLXXIV

Morning

By Kristen Gupton-Williams

The next morning found Tifa and Vincent asleep on the beach. They were awakened by the brightness of the sun as it rose over the horizon. Vincent was the first to open his eyes, momentarily disoriented. As the sound of the nearby surf hit him, he remembered the night before and looked to see Tifa cuddled up against him. Certainly everyone back at the base was wondering what had happened to them so he roused her. "Tifa?"

She stretched lazily and looked up at him. "Oh my God, did we sleep here all night?"

"Looks like it," he smiled and struggled up to his feet, then extending a hand to help Tifa up.

Tifa managed to get up. "Uh, you're still going to have to carry me to the parking lot where my crutches are."

He silently complied and swept her up. After getting to the parking lot and having Tifa set back up with her crutches, they made their way toward home.

They weren't far from the base when a bright red sports car came to a screeching halt next to them. The driver's side door flew open and Reno jumped out. "Where in the fuck have you two been all God damned night?"

Tifa and Vincent looked at each other, knowing that they were in trouble. They didn't get a chance to defend themselves before Reno started in again.

"I've been looking for you since three this morning when Angel freaked out because you guys hadn't come the Hell home yet." His messy red hair blazed in the early morning light, making it look as though they were facing the devil himself. "That's it, there is now a sun down curfew for the two of you. I've had it."

"Yes, Father." Tifa joked back, feeling as though she was being reprimanded by her dad.

"Don't fucking act like this is funny, Tifa." Reno scowled. "Angel was absolutely certain that Shin Ra or some other assholes had kidnapped you."

"Reno, calm down," Vincent interjected, trying to be the voice of reason. "Everything is fine. Tifa and I just needed some time to ourselves."

It was at that moment that Reno took notice of the fact they were both covered in sand and their clothes terribly wrinkled. Suddenly his face took on a much different look. "Oh, I get it, down on the beach for a little midnight romp, huh?"

Tifa rolled her eyes, not feeling that it was any of Reno's business. "Can we just go home now?"

"Not so fast." Reno crossed his arms over his chest and smirked. "You mean I've been up since zero dark thirty out here looking for you, when you guys were down at the beach screwing around?"

"Knock it off, Reno." Vincent ordered, as he opened the passenger side door of the car, motioning for Tifa to get in.

"On the _beach_?" Reno scoffed. "You're gonna be washing sand out of your asses for a week, you know."

Vincent had had enough and shot Reno a look that curtailed any further commentary. Seeing that Tifa was in, he slid into back seat next to her and pulled the door shut.

Reno growled under his breath and got back in, driving them home. As they went down the road, he did have something to talk with Vincent about. "I've got the airship set and we can head toward Wutai tonight."

Vincent nodded, "That's great. I forgot to ask one thing."

"What?" Reno grimaced, dreading some horrible request.

"I want Jarras to come if he likes." Vincent said, suspecting that his son would want to attend.

Reno smiled in self-satisfaction. "Too late, old man, I've already thought of that. I was going to call him this morning and see if I should have Brad go pick him up. Since you're here though, you call him."

Vincent managed to catch the cell phone that was soon hurled at him. "I don't know his number."

"Idiot, I programmed it on the speed dial. He's number fourteen." Reno shot back. "Shit, you'd think you'd bother to learn your own kid's number."

Vincent dismissed Reno's commentary and dialed.

After several rings, there was an answer. "Mideel Books, if we don't have it, we can order it. This is Jarras, how can I help you?"

Vincent smiled at the sound of his son's voice. "Jarras, it's Vincent."

A brief pause passed before he replied. "Oh, hey, how's it going?"

"Well, I've got some bad news, I'm afraid." Vincent's smile faded.

The trepidation was clear in Jarras' voice. "What's going on?"

"You're uncle Tseng has passed away." Vincent's voice cracked as he delivered the news.

There was another pause as Jarras sat in the nearest chair. "Oh God, I'm sorry."

Vincent had to steel himself before going on. "It happened night before last."

"What happened?" Jarras asked, as the news sunk in.

Vincent immediately choked up and passed the phone to Tifa, not wanting his son to hear him cry.

Tifa took the phone. "Jarras?"

"Tifa?" Jarras was confused for a moment before realizing that Vincent hadn't been able to go on. "I asked him how it happened before he gave the phone to you."

"Oh," Tifa wasn't thrilled about having to be the one to go through the details. "Chaos had one last go at taking over Vincent, and Tseng was attacked."

Jarras didn't understand. "I thought Chaos was gone!"

"We all did, turns out he wasn't, though." Tifa placed her arm around Vincent, seeing that he was still upset. "In any event, Tseng got hurt pretty bad, and despite all that the doctor did for him, he didn't make it."

"That's terrible… at least everyone else is okay, right?" Jarras asked.

Tifa opted to leave out her own injury, not seeing how it would help him to know of it. "Yes, the rest of us are okay, and Chaos has been dealt with once and for all."

"I hope so." Jarras sighed, feeling very bad inside.

"Anyway, Vincent was calling to see if you would be interested in coming to the funeral?" Tifa asked.

"Of course," Jarras wasn't objected to closing the store for a few days if needed. "When and where?"

"Well, we're leaving here for Wutai tonight. Reno was going to have Brad come fly out and pick you up if you wanted to come." Tifa said.

"Okay, I'll be ready." Jarras knew that he had to go, for his father if nothing else. "Is Vincent doing all right?"

"He'll be okay." Tifa sighed as she pulled her husband closer. "He's strong."

"He's not blaming himself, is he?" Jarras was aware of Vincent's propensity for accepting fault.

"Sort of, but he's holding it together fairly well." Tifa didn't want Vincent to really know where the conversation had turned.

"Well all right then." Jarras rose up from where he was sitting. "I'd better go so I can get things in order before I get picked up. Oh, one more question."

"Sure." Tifa narrowed her eyes, wondering what else there could be.

"Can I bring someone with me?" Jarras turned red in embarrassment.

"I don't see why not." Tifa couldn't help but ask. "Who?"

"I sort of…" Jarras felt weird talking about this to Tifa, "Brandon has a daughter and we went out to dinner of couple nights ago, and I thought maybe she'd like to get out again. Is that wrong to ask a girl if they want to go to a funeral with you?"

The fact that Jarras might be getting a real love interest in his life thrilled Tifa and she became giddy for him. "Oh cool! I don't think it's weird. It'll be good for you to have someone to make the trip with you."

Jarras smiled to himself. "Okay then, see you soon, bye."

"Bye." Tifa turned off the phone and handed it back to Reno.

Vincent had noticed her tone for the last few minutes of the call and was confused. "What was that?"

"You're boy might have a girl friend." Tifa laughed.

Vincent's expression went from sadness to amusement. "Really? That was fast. Not a married one this time, right?"

"I don't think so. In any event, he wants to go." Tifa replied.

Reno heard her and picked up the phone again. He flipped it open and called Brad to tell him to get Jarras.


	39. 175 Appreciation

Guilt's Cost: Part CLXXV

Appreciation

In loving memory of my dog Virgil

By Kristen Gupton-Williams

Brad was in the hanger helping Cid rebuild what was left of his plane when the cell phone in his pocket rang. He set down the small engine part that he was working on and answered. "Brad here."

Reno didn't bother with pleasantries. "You need to go pick up that Jaras guy from Mideel."

He propped the phone against his shoulder as he tried to wipe the grease from his hands on a nearby rag. "Mideel? Now?"

"No, dumb ass, I thought maybe we could start planning ahead for next year's company picnic." Reno shook his head in disgust. This was one of those times that he knew everyone was acting mildly retarded just to annoy him. "Of course now."

Brad was going to have to get used to Reno's management style or kill him; he wasn't quite sure which would happen first at this point. "All right, God damn it."

"Good. We're going to head out in the airship for Wutai tonight. Do you think you can be back by then?" Reno asked, his tone still not friendly.

"Whoa, back up there." Brad crossed his arms over his chest as he did the math in his head. "How in the hell am I going to get to Mideel and back in time for the airship ride to Wutai tonight? Mideel ain't that friggin' close you know."

"Well then how long will it take you?" Reno was growing impatient.

"If I leave right now, and that's a big if since I haven't finished the tune up of my chopper, I can get there and back by maybe noon tomorrow." Brad glanced over at the helicopter that presently had the shroud to its engine removed.

"Well get it fixed and get in the air. I want you back _yesterday_." Reno flipped close the phone before the pilot could protest any further.

Brad put his phone away and turned to Cid. "Reno's a real prick, you know that?"

"Yeah, I've had the pleasure." Cid scoffed back. "What's up his ass this morning?"

"He wants me to go to Mideel and get Jaras. He seems to think that I should be able to do that and get back by tonight." He leaned against the side of his chopper.

"Well, if you had any fucking sense in your head, and you don't, you would have a plane around that _could _make that trip instead of this shit pile you call a chopper." Cid shot back as he moved away from his plane and over to check on his baby, sleeping under the workbench.

"Can it, Highwind." Brad patted the side of the helicopter. "As it stands, you don't even have a working plane so don't bust my chops about it."

"What the hell, I'll help you get that death trap back together so you can get going." Cid grumbled as he moved toward Brad. "Obviously my bird isn't going to fly again any time soon."

***

Once back in the base, Tifa and Vincent made their way to the cafeteria, starving for some breakfast. They looked for someone to sit with while they ate and quickly spotted Porter and Rayna taking up a table toward the back. 

Vincent and Tifa approached them, hoping they weren't intruding. Vincent asked permission before setting his tray down. "Mind if we join you?"

Porter brought his tired eyes up to meet Vincent's, "No, go ahead."

With that, Tifa and Vincent sat. The night before on the beach, Tifa had told Vincent about Porter's sacrifice of his dog in order to get the part that saved Vincent's life. Having had pets as a child in Wutai, Vincent knew the pain of losing one and knew that he needed to both thank and apologize to the young man. "Porter, I know what you did for me the other night, and I want you to know that I appreciate it."

Porter blinked at him blankly, not wanting to relive the pain he had felt the night his dog died. "Sure thing."

Vincent could see the misery hidden behind the former Turk's expression. "And I'm sorry… if there is anything I can ever do to repay you, let me know."

He shook his head slowly and dropped his gaze. There wasn't anything anyone could do to bring back the dog and he surely thought that was the only way to rid himself of the sadness he felt. "It's fine, it had to be done, there wasn't a choice."

Vincent could see the man's Turk training in hiding his feelings trying to come into play, but that had always been something Porter hadn't been highly proficient at. Not to mention the certain amount of bravado that Porter was trying to display in front of the women present regarding his loss. After all, Porter had been raised by the type of father who wouldn't so much as shed a tear over a pet's passing.

An uncomfortable silence passed between the two men until Tifa broke the silence. "Rayna, I have to go up to do some shopping today so I can get something to wear on our trip to Wutai. Any chance you want to go?"

Rayna jumped at the opportunity to get out of the dark base for a few hours. She herself had come here with little more than the clothes on her back and despite the few things she had purchased since, her closet still was a little bare. "I'd love to."

"Great!" Tifa openly displayed her enthusiasm at the impending shopping trip. "I figured that Vincent wouldn't want to go."

Rayna smiled. "Porter here isn't to big on those sorts of excursions either, that's just men for you. Besides, I think he doesn't really feel up to walking all over town yet."

Porter had to agree with his girlfriend there; it hadn't been all that long since his hip replacement surgery and such a day out would have pained him physically. "Yeah, I'm still not one hundred percent yet but I'm close."

She reached across the table and stroked his cheek. "You're doing wonderfully considering the extent of the repair. Even the doctor is pleased with how well you're doing."

Porter blushed slightly, not accustomed to compliments or praise no matter how justly earned. Over his years working at Shin Ra, Hojo had managed to destroy most of the confidence Porter had built up in his lifetime. Rayna however, always had kind words for him, eternally grateful for the fact he had saved her life.

Vincent got an idea that at first he tried to shake off knowing that it probably wasn't appropriate, but it failed to recede. By the end of breakfast, he had decided that he had something he had to go do while the women were out on their buying spree. He got up, kissed Tifa on the lips and excused himself from the table, making his way to go find Reno.

***

After Vincent had managed to track Reno down and get directions he had gone up into the city. He made his way to the outskirts of town in a rented car, finding himself out of the 'touristy' part of town and into what would have to be described as the 'slums' of Costa del Sol. The neighborhood he drove through wasn't particularly bad, just not near as clean and flashy as the rest of the town. Eventually he found his destination and parked his car out front of an inconspicuous white building.

Vincent slid out of the car and walked inside. There was a woman sitting behind a counter who gave him barely any notice until she had finished reading an article in the magazine she held. 

Clearly annoyed at his intrusion, she pushed her glasses up higher on her nose. "Can I help you?"

Vincent shrugged, still arguing with himself over whether he should go through with this or not. "Yeah…"

The woman leaned on the counter and stared at him. "Lost, found, or just looking?"

"Looking," Vincent said in a tone that was more a question than a statement.

She rolled her eyes and hit a button, unlatching a door next to the counter. "Go on in. Strays and turn-ins are on the left. Cats to the right."

Vincent nodded in thanks and pushed through the door. He walked forward, the obligatory smell of all animal shelters immediately hitting him like a ton of bricks. His sensitive nose couldn't take it, and he soon pulled up the collar of his shirt over his lower face.

The sounds of barking dogs echoed rudely through the cinderblock building, only getting worse when all the impounded animals saw Vincent enter the ward. He was faced with a long corridor, flanked on either side by kennels filled with various shapes and sizes of dogs. Vincent walked forward, seeing animal after animal. Some of them jumped up against the chain link gates to their runs with exuberant excitement, while others stood their ground with a much more menacing greeting for the stranger.

Never having been faced with such a variety of dogs, Vincent was beginning to doubt that he would find the right canine. Then he came to the last kennel and forgot about everything else, even letting go of his shirt and again breathing the kennel air.

Sitting there was decidedly the most piteous looking animal Vincent had ever seen. Certainly this animal had been picked up as a stray and hadn't been fed for a very long time before arriving here. The black and brown basset hound sat looking up at him silently, just waving its tail hopefully. The droopy dark eyes seemed to convey something that Vincent understood very well. Seeing the pathetic and starved dog reminded Vincent of his own captivity and at once he knew he was looking at the dog he needed to free from this place.

Vincent looked around, spotting an Animal Control officer writing something on a clipboard a short distance away. "Sir?"

The man looked at Vincent through heavily tinted glasses. "Yes?"

"How do I go about getting this dog?" Vincent asked, pointing down at his intended jailbird.

The officer came over to see exactly which animal Vincent was indicating. Upon seeing the emaciated basset the officer made a slightly amused face. "You want _that _dog?"

Vincent didn't see what the officer found so humorous. "Yes, I do."

"You did look at all the other dogs here, right?" The man said, pulling a slip lead from his pocket.

Vincent nodded, still not getting it. "Yes, and I want that one. What's the problem with that?"

The officer shrugged. "Usually people don't come in here and get the dog that's in the worst shape, that's all. You sure?"

Vincent looked down at the basset again and knit his brows. He didn't see anything but a dog that just _knew _he was here to save him. "Yes."

The officer opened the kennel and placed the lead around the dog's neck, then handing the other end to Vincent. "Okay then, take him up front and the clerk will get you checked out."

"Thanks." Vincent accepted the leash and went back up to the front counter.

The same annoyed woman stood up to look over the counter and see the dog that Vincent intended to take. She shook her head in dismay and pulled out some paperwork. "Name, address, and the adoption fee is fifty gil."

Vincent picked up a pen and filled out the paperwork as best he could, not actually having an address to place on the application. He just made something up and wrote it down, hoping that the clerk wasn't going to call him on the false address and name. That done, he pulled his debit card out of his wallet and laid it on the counter.

The woman took the papers, pulled off the duplicates and ran the debit card through a machine. After a few moments, the card was approved and she stapled the receipt to the other papers and handed them to Vincent. She then pulled out a small plastic bag from under the counter. "Here's your complementary starter kit. There's a coupon for a free vet check in there along with some dog food and flea preventative."

Vincent took the bag and headed out the door, the relieved dog trotting along at his side. He picked the dog up and placed it in the passenger seat of the car before going around to his own side and getting in.

Once in the car, Vincent rummaged through the gift bag and found the vet check coupon. He found an address and phone number on it and called, quickly setting up an appointment to get the dog examined.

He drove to the animal hospital and went in. The receptionist gave him some paperwork to do and he took a seat in the waiting room while filling it out. As he wrote, a young veterinary technician dressed in scrubs started to walk by and then stopped upon seeing the dog. Her face broke into a broad smile as she knelt down to be on the dog's level. She then looked up and examined the man sitting before her, taking notice at his attractiveness. "You're the one who just adopted the dog from the pound, aren't you?"

Vincent looked at her and nodded. "Did I talk to you on the phone?"

She began petting the dog. "Sure did. I was getting the phone while the receptionist was at lunch. Normally I hide in the back, helping the doctors with surgery. Poor guy, that was really kind of you to adopt one in this shape."

Vincent hadn't even bothered to notice that the dog was male. "Well, he just looked like the right one."

She sighed, still stroking the animal. "I hear that. They sort of just find you. What are you going to name him?"

"I hadn't really thought of that. I'm actually getting him for a friend." Vincent considered the animal for a moment. "What do you think we should call him?"

The technician flipped her long brown hair over her shoulder. "I had a basset named Virgil and this guy looks a lot like him."

"Virgil, huh?" Vincent thought for a moment and then wrote Virgil down on the patient information sheet he was filling out. "Then Virgil it is."

The technician giggled, tickled that this man would name his dog after hers. "Good choice."

About half an hour later, Vincent was on his way back to the base, having gotten the dog all of his needed vaccines and a small tube of medicine to use in the dog's ears. The doctor had discovered the animal had an infection and was going to need to use the ointment for a week. During the exam the doctor had otherwise given the dog a clean bill of health and had informed Vincent that Virgil had already been neutered and was well mannered. Before leaving, the technician had again congratulated him on the adoption and gave him her name in case he needed to call with any future questions.


	40. 176 Introductions

Guilt's Cost CLXXVI

Introductions

By Kristen Gupton-Williams

Hi there, 

Just a teeny tiny note: Some of my readers have asked why Vincent has to be grown a new body instead of just dipping him in Mako to make him normal. Well, if his body was made of living tissue that would be an option, but Vincent from the shoulders down at this point is mechanical and Mako isn't going to turn a machine into a human body. There's no other way J 

Vincent returned his borrowed car and took the dog down into the base. He went to the lab, knowing that Porter was most likely inside working with Quigley.

Vincent opened the door and immediately saw a large lexan cylinder standing in the middle of the room. He momentarily forgot about the dog at his side and went forward, touching the eight-foot tall monolith.

Quigley, working a short distance away took notice of the visitor. "Are you here for another injection?"

He snapped out of his daydream and looked over at the other man. "Well, yeah but also I wanted to see Porter."

"Porter!" Quigley shouted out toward a smaller back room. "I'll get the drug ready while you wait for him."

Vincent just nodded in response and looked back over at the large object looming next to him. 

"Like it?" Porter said as he emerged, noticing that Vincent was eyeing their current project. "I'll say its going to be a week before it's up and running."

"It's the accelerator, isn't it?" Vincent asked, already knowing the answer.

"Yup." Porter knocked on the side of the lexan. "Luckily, they had an older version of an acceleration chamber here that they had managed to salvage from an abandoned Shin Ra lab a couple of years ago, making our job a hell of a lot easier." His words trailed off as he looked down, taking notice of the short dog at Vincent's side. At once he got to his knees to pet the animal, not being able to resist the expression on the dog's face. "Where did you find this guy?"

Vincent smiled; able to see that Porter was already taken by the dog. "I went to the pound this morning and adopted him."

"I didn't think you were a dog person." Porter said, getting even lower so the dog could lick his face.

Vincent cocked an eyebrow in disgust while watching Porter subject himself to such a face washing. "Well, he isn't for me."

Porter immediately looked up and saw Vincent holding the end of the leash toward him. "For me?"

Vincent smiled. "Yes, I know he can't replace D, but I thought you'd like another dog to keep you company."

Porter reached out with an apprehensive hand and took the leash. "I don't know what to say…"

"It's nothing." Vincent also held out the bags that the shelter and vet had given him. "He came with some stuff, too. I took him to the veterinarian to get his shots and there's some stuff for his ears in one of these bags."

Tears of both sadness over D and gratitude came to Porter's eyes which he quickly wiped away after accepting the care packages. "Thank you, Vincent."

Quigley interrupted the moment by reentering the room with a loaded syringe in his hand. He went up to Vincent and pushed back his hair, exposing the I.V. port still embedded in his neck. "You want to sit or anything before we do this?"

Vincent shut his eyes, just waiting for the injection to be over with. "No, I'm fine."

"Okay then." Quigley attached the syringe to the port and slowly infused Vincent with the chemical.

A cold sweat broke out on Vincent's skin as the medication entered him, burning where it ran through his veins. He did his best not to waver in his stance as he began to feel a little lightheaded.

Porter got up from the floor, noticing that Vincent was turning pale as Quigley pulled the syringe away. He placed his arms around Vincent from behind, fearing that he was going to pass out.

Vincent, feeling Porter supporting him let go and collapsed against him.

Porter found it hard in his own physical condition to hold up someone as heavy as Vincent. "Quigley, help me get him in a chair."

The researcher complied and tossed the empty syringe in his hand onto a nearby counter, then moving to help Porter set the other man down. As they eased Vincent into a seat, his eyes fluttered open as he came back to consciousness.

Quigley jogged from the room, only to return a few seconds later with a cup of water in his hand. "Vincent, are you okay?"

Just starting to get his bearings, Vincent rubbed his eyes before answering him. "Yeah, I think so, just got a little dizzy, that's all."

Quigley handed Vincent the water, relaxing somewhat as he realized that the other man was going to be okay. "Sit there until you feel better."

Vincent immediately started to get up, even though he was no where near ready. He was already embarrassed for having passed out and didn't want to sit around.

Porter halted his progress by pushing him back in the chair. "Stay."

Vincent dismissed Porter and again tried to get up. This time, the dog that he had just sprung from the pound came to Porter's side, sat down and bared its teeth at Vincent, halting him in his tracks.

Porter looked down at the dog, approvingly. "Good boy, make sure he doesn't try to leave until he's ready."

Vincent knit his brow and locked gazes with the dog. "Virgil, is that anyway to thank me for getting you off death row?"

Porter smiled, "his name's Virgil?"

"Yeah," Vincent resigned himself to the fact that he wasn't going to be leaving anytime soon. 

"Cool." Porter bent down and patted his new companion. "Virgil, that's funny."

The dog wiggled as he was spoken to. There was obviously a lot of intelligence behind Virgil's brown eyes.

If he was going to be held prisoner, Vincent was at least going to make the best of it. "How long until you think my body will be ready?"

Quigley didn't need to think long for the answer. "Assuming all goes as planned, I'm guessing six months."

Vincent's eyes went wide; he hadn't expected it to be that soon. "Really?"

Quigley looked at Vincent with a slack expression. "You know me well enough to know I don't make a habit of joking around."

He had a point there and Porter laughed. "I've noticed that, Quigley. Working here with you hasn't been a barrel of laughs."

Quigley turned his gaze to the former Turk. "Sorry, God blessed me with scientific talent, not humor."

Vincent took that moment to say something _completely_ out of character under his breath. "You need to get out and get laid."

Both Quigley and Porter heard what Vincent had said and looked at him slack jawed. No one would have expected such a comment from him. Vincent noticed their expressions and defended himself at once. "You know I'm right."

Quigley furrowed his brow in consideration of Vincent's words. "Well, yeah…"

Porter immediately broke out into riotous laughter at the scientist's admittal. "Quig, you ever even done it?"

Quigley pursed his lips momentarily, deciding to explore this theory on his lack of humor a bit more. "Maybe."

"Liar!" Porter dropped himself into a chair near Vincent's, feeling that if he didn't sit, he'd fall over laughing.

Vincent at once felt a little bad for having brought this conversation about. Aware of his own few sexual encounters, he could sense Quigley's unrest. "Leave him alone, Porter."

Quigley volunteered information at that point no one would have suspected. "I've had two girlfriends and have had sex a total of thirteen times in my life. The last time being well over four years ago."

Porter suddenly stopped laughing. "You kept count?"

"I am a researcher," Quigley smiled. "It's my job to count and remember things."

Porter nodded, knowing that the man before him was always thinking. "Four years, huh? That's it, we're taking you out. Isn't there anyone around that you're interested in?"

Quigley shrugged. "I don't know."

Even Vincent with his limited time with Quigley knew that he was lying. "Come on, you might as well tell us."

"The woman in the cafeteria who hands out the vegetables." Quigley's cheeks turned a little red.

Porter and Vincent both knew of the diminutive and plain woman that he was talking about. To them she had seemed a bit of a geek, but whom better for the king of nerds? They didn't quite know what to say in response, neither of them understanding the lady's appeal to the scientist.

Porter finally spoke up. "Well, have you asked her out?"

Quigley's cheeks got even redder. "No."

"What's holding you up?" Porter leaned forward, now on a mission.

"I just have been really busy." Quigley wasn't lying this time.

Vincent smiled. "Look, I don't mind if it takes an extra day to get me fixed, go out and live a little."

Quigley shrugged. "I'll think about it."

Porter got up from his seat. "The hell you will, I'm going to go tell her that she has a date tonight. Come on, Virgil."

Before Quigley could protest, Porter had slipped through the door, followed by his new dog.


	41. 177 Stoicism

Guilt's Cost: Part CLXXVII

Stoicism

By Kristen Gupton-Tired As Hell-Williams

Jaras left his bookstore and apartment after packing a small backpack with all that he would need for the upcoming trip. This done, he headed over to Brandon's house, knowing that both he and his daughter would be home.

He got to the door and knocked, and soon Brandon opened it. "Jaras, shouldn't you be at the book store?"

"No, I got some bad news this morning." Jaras said, hanging his head.

"Oh, come on in, have a seat, and tell us what's going on." Brandon said, stepping aside so that he could pass.

Jaras went in and sat on the couch, seeing that Jeanine was in the kitchen. "My uncle Tseng has passed."

Brandon sat near him in a chair and openly displayed his sympathy. "I'm terribly sorry to hear that."

Jaras shrugged and sighed. "I wasn't really expecting the news. Really, I feel worse for my father, though. He's taking it pretty hard."

"I can imagine." He leaned back in his seat.

"Anyway, I'm leaving tonight to go to Wutai for the funeral and will be gone for several days." Jaras became a little self conscious, "I was wondering if Jeanine might be interested at all with accompanying me."

Having heard her name mentioned Jeanine stepped into the room. "What was that?"

Brandon turned to his daughter. "Jaras here has to go to Wutai for his uncle's funeral and he wants you to go with him."

Her green eyes went wide. "To Wutai?"

Jaras raised his hands, not wanting her to feel obligated. "It was just a thought, I just didn't want to make the trip alone and I thought it would give us a chance to talk. Since you came back to Mideel we haven't really had a chance to catch up."

She considered his words and broke out into a wide smile. "Sure, I don't have anything else going on right now. I'll go."

"Really?" Jaras was shocked at her acceptance.

"Why not?" Jeanine put her hands on her hips. "I've never been there, and this might be the only chance I get to go. When do we leave?"

"This evening." Jaras replied, still in disbelief.

"Wow, I'll go get my stuff ready then." She turned and left the room.

Brandon grinned and turned to Jaras. "I knew you and her would get along."

Jaras flushed red. "I've always liked Jeanine, you know that. While she was gone to Junon for the last eight months, I missed her."

"So is your interest in my daughter starting to go beyond friendship?" Brandon questioned in the way only a father could.

"It might." Jaras sighed. "I didn't realize how lonely I was until recently."

Brandon nodded, not really minding that this man had an interest in his daughter. He knew that at thirty-four, Jeanine was getting to the age where she should start thinking about settling down. He also knew that his girl hadn't always been very popular with men, as until recently she had always been overweight and somewhat introverted. But the company of an attractive and intelligent man like Jaras could be _very _good for her, and Jaras too for that matter.

Jaras was pleased with Brandon's approval. "I'll take care of her, don't worry."

"I know you will, Jaras." The doctor continued to smile. "I know you will."

***

Tifa eventually returned to the base, having bought a considerable number of things with Vincent's seemingly endless bankroll. She entered their room and set the numerous bags on the bed, before turning to notice that Vincent was sitting on the couch, reading a book that he had picked up earlier that day at a bookstore.

She made her way over to him and sat. "I got a really nice dress for the funeral."

Vincent pulled his gaze up from his novel and acknowledged her with a curt nod.

"Do you want to see it?" Tifa asked, wanting to model her purchase for him.

He again just nodded.

Taking this as a sign of approval, Tifa got up and grabbed the bag containing the dress. She went into the bathroom to dress, talking to him while she started to try it on. "I don't need my crutches anymore, but you probably noticed that."

Vincent had wondered where they were when she got home. "Good."

Tifa peeked out of the bathroom and looked at him. "Vincent, are you okay?"

He cocked an eyebrow at her. "Why?"

"You've kind of gone back to that 'man of few words' routine tonight." Tifa disappeared back into the bathroom.

Vincent dog-eared the page he was on before setting the book on the coffee table. His behavior didn't seem odd to him, since this was how he had acted for the majority of the last seven years. "I just have been thinking a lot."

She stepped out, wearing the new dress. "About Tseng?"

He couldn't help but smile a little at the vision of her in the striking gown. "That's very nice."

"You didn't answer my question." Tifa waved a finger at him, not thrilled to see him reverting back to his old ways.

"In a word, yes." He said simply as he got up from the couch. He walked over and inspected the other bags Tifa had dropped onto the bed. 

She went up behind him and wrapped her arms around his waist. "It'll be okay."

The Vincent that she had grown accustomed to over the last several months would have turned in her embrace and hugged her back but instead, he just pulled himself away before going over to his suitcase sitting on the floor and picking it up.

Tifa's expression fell, seeing that he wasn't going to snap out of his state easily. She watched silently as he laid his suitcase on the bed and laid the piles of clothes he had prepared into it. She retreated into the bathroom and slipped her dress off, putting back on the clothes she had been wearing. Although she desperately wanted to say something to Vincent about the way he was acting, she figured she would let it go for now, knowing that in this state there just wouldn't be any getting through to him.

She packed her own things for the trip and set her bag down by the door a few moments later. Vincent had gone back to the couch and was again engrossed in his book. She just stood staring at him; amazed at the completely different personalities he could show at various times. This persona however, frightened her. She would almost rather see him angry or argumentative than this. Anything was better than this.

Vincent took notice of her standing by the door and asked, "are you ready to go now?"

She pursed her lips and retook her bag. "In a word, yes."

He again cocked an eyebrow, seeing that she was mocking him. He let it slide though and got up, moving toward the door and taking his own suitcase in hand. He placed the book under his free arm and took Tifa's bag from her hand. "Let's go."

She opened the door and stepped out into the hall, closing it again when Vincent was clear. They walked together up to the airfield, finding the immense airship sitting in wait. They boarded and Vincent took their bags to an empty cabin before making his way to the bridge where Reno and Cid were talking to the crewmembers.

Vincent meandered over to his usual haunt in the corner while Tifa made her way over to Cid's side. She at once took the baby from him, needing some distraction from her frustration over Vincent.

Cid immediately took notice of Vincent standing alone in the shadows and looked at Tifa. "Despite his attempt at putting on a good show for us lately, he's finally gone back to being Vinnie, huh?"

Tifa sighed and nodded. "Yeah, I just wish there was something I could do, you know…"

Cid smiled and nudged her. "You know he'll be fine. He always is."

"You're probably right." She replied, starting to smile as the infant in her arms tried to reach up for her face.

"Of course I'm right." Cid scoffed. "If he was going to take this depressed loner bit all the way to suicide then he'd have been dead a long time ago."

Tifa instantly brought her gaze up to meet Cid's, a look of disapproval on her face. "Need I remind you that he _has_ tried to kill himself in the past?"

He at once remembered the night in Rocket when Vincent had first been reunited with Tseng and his consequent suicide attempt. "Well yeah, but that was an attempt to protect you, Tifa. It wasn't something that he was doing just for the hell of it."

His words rang true and she knew it. Still, she didn't want Vincent sinking any further into the mood he was already in. "I just hope he comes around soon."

Reno, knowing that it really wasn't his place dared to step into the conversation. "I'll bet fifty gil that he knocks this shit off by the time we get to Wutai. His little snits seem to come and go quicker than a two gil whore."

Tifa and Cid looked at Reno, both amused and disgusted with his analogy.

Reno blew off their reactions and crossed his arms. "What? It's true and you know it. Besides, the guy's brother _did _just die and I think he deserves a little time to himself."

"That's just what I'm afraid to give him, Reno." Tifa shot back.

He rolled his eyes. "Look, Tseng used to pull this same shit whenever things would get really tough. It's not that big a deal, okay? Now just give the guy a break."

The fact that Reno was actually _defending _Vincent didn't go unnoticed and Cid couldn't help but comment. "Well if you think that this isn't a big deal, then maybe we should really be worried."

"Ah, fuck the both of you guys." Reno snapped, turning from them and walking away. "I'm going to find Angel. At least she doesn't think everything I say is stupid."


	42. 178 Break Through

Guilt's Cost: Part CLXXVIII

Break Through

By Kristen Gupton-Is It Over Yet-Williams

This Song Is About Vincent Van Gogh, and yet… well anyway, it's a good song. Here's a small part of it:

For they could not love you  
But still, your love was true  
And when no hope was left inside  
On that starry, starry night  
You took your life as lovers often do--  
But I could've told you, Vincent:  
This world was never meant  
For one as beautiful as you.

Now I think I know  
What you tried to say, to me  
And how you suffered for your sanity  
And how you tried to set them free:  
They would not listen; they're not listening still--  
Perhaps they never will.

-_Vincent _by Don McLean

The airship remained on the ground until the following morning when Brad's helicopter finally touched down and the last of the funeral guests were on it. Slowly, the ship lifted up into the air and headed for Wutai.

Vincent still hadn't come back out of his shell, and by midday he was standing on the upper deck of the ship, staring down at the ocean that was passing below. He hadn't been able to sleep much at all the night before and had managed to finish his entire book during this episode of insomnia. Now there was nothing left to do but stand here and look at the scenery, even though he was too wrapped in his own thoughts to really see any of it.

Tifa had followed Reno's advice and had left her husband to himself for most of the day but now evening was encroaching and she knew that he hadn't eaten for at least twenty-four hours. She brought up a sandwich for him and walked over to where he was gazing over the railing. "Not thinking of jumping, are you?"

He didn't respond in the least for several moments and when he finally did, his voice was quiet. "Now that Chaos is gone it would kill me."

Tifa got to his side, her own pained expression staring at him. "I really hate this."

He flashed a sidelong glance at her. "I thought you liked flying."

"Damn it!" She stomped her foot. "Not flying, Vincent, the way you're acting!"

Vincent turned and leaned sideways on the rail, locking gazes with his wife. There was something to be said about the fact that Chaos was no longer a part of him in any way. That demon, for all it's evil, had provided Vincent with a certain edge to his personality, making him somewhat more outgoing than he naturally was. Tifa had no way of knowing that, and he wasn't about to explain it to her. She would have to come to grips with his increasing invertedness. The last several months had seen a huge change in his attitude, but now it was all winding down and he was becoming more the Vincent of old. Yet it was this Vincent of old that his last love had failed to love back, and somehow he feared deep down that Tifa's feelings for him would eventually go the way of Lucretia's. 

His lips momentarily pulled down into a frown, and he looked down at the deck.

Tifa could plainly see that something was going on behind his crimson eyes. "Vincent, what is it?"

He pushed some of the loose tendrils of hair hanging in his face back over his shoulder. "Do you really know who I am?"

She knit her brow, confused at the question. "What's that supposed to mean?"

"Do you really know who I am?" he restated, still refusing to look her in the eye.

She narrowed her eyes, unable to think of anything to come back with.

"Tifa, this isn't fair to you, and I know it." He spoke softly, almost not wanting her to hear. "It's been hard for me over the last couple of days. Not just because Tseng died, but also because Chaos is gone."

"Yes, and isn't that at least something to be happy about?" Tifa asked, not understanding.

"It is." He turned to look back over the railing again. "He cannot harm anyone anymore. But he also, for better or worse, changed my personality. He's gone now and with him I've lost something."

She still didn't understand. "You lost something you wanted to be rid of since the day he was made a part of you. I don't know how that can be bad."

"He gave me feelings, Tifa." He sighed. "After… after all that happened to me way back when, I sort of lost my emotions, it was just a way of protecting myself although I had no control over it. As Chaos grew stronger, his aggression and personality mixed with mine… making me more… I don't know…"

"So that's what's with first the whole super concerned act after Tseng's death and now this." Tifa crossed her arms, trying to understand. "You were faking your caring attitude for a day and a half and then gave up, and started this whole routine again?"

"For lack of a better explanation, yes." Vincent closed his eyes. "I just have been left feeling very-"

"Don't you dare, Vincent Valentine!" Tifa cut him off, knowing that the next word was going to be 'empty'. "Seven years ago, you went around behaving like this but I could see that beneath it there was _something _else. Maybe that monster made you feel more bravado or assertive, I don't know, but this now that you're doing is just depression." 

"Would you have me go on medication to give me some phony outgoing look on life?" Vincent scowled.

"Well if what you're saying is true, then was it Chaos that made you say you loved me? Was it Chaos that made you open up and tell me your feelings and fears? Was it Chaos that I fell in love with? Is that what you are trying to say, Vincent? Because if it is, it's a load of crap." Tifa wanted to grab him by the shoulders and shake him violently.

He didn't say anything in response.

Tifa grew angry. "If it's a choice between medicating you and living with you in this self induced funk for the rest of your life, then I'll force the pills down your throat myself."

Still, he didn't react.

"Vincent, look at me!" She demanded.

He was finding it almost impossible to face her now that she was angry.

"God damn it, LOOK AT ME!" Tifa screamed.

Slowly, he turned to face her. Despite the stoic look he wore, pain was obvious behind his eyes.

"Do you feel anything? Do you even love me?" Tears were by now in her eyes.

He wanted to look away again, but kept from doing so. 

"Answer me, Vincent! It's a yes or no question!" There was a fear evident in her voice. "Do you love me?"

"Tifa, now really isn't-" Vincent once more found his words cut off.

"Yes or no?" she asked one final time, her voice now wavering in her anxiety.

"Yes." Vincent stated flatly, struck by the mere stupidity of such a question.

She almost seemed to not believe him and remained planted where she was. "So, does this mean that from now on you'll act like it in word only?"

"Of course not." Vincent knit his brow, feeling heat come into his face. 

"What then?" She was openly crying now. "If Chaos has left you so cold and dead inside, what then?"

Vincent tensed his jaw for a moment. He loved Tifa, with or without Chaos inside bolstering his emotions. Something hit him hard inside. Even if he was going to shut out the rest of the world, he couldn't do it to her or he would loose the one thing that had been keeping him going for so long. He took a step forward and embraced her. If closing off the world to his feelings was a defensive measure, then keeping Tifa privy to his real feelings when she was the only one he could trust would be an absolute necessity to surviving.

She fell into his arms, relieved to finally have reached something inside him. The tears came freely for a few moments, before she felt his hand underneath her chin, bringing up her face for a kiss.


	43. 179 Confessions

Guilt's Cost: Part CLXXIX

Confessions

By Kristen Gupton-Williams

Jaras stepped up onto the flight deck with Jeanine at his side, at once realizing that he had managed to stumble into some awkward situation. Tifa and Vincent were there; lips joined in a passionate kiss. It wasn't for several moments until Vincent and Tifa realized that he was there and broke off their embrace.

Tifa smiled upon seeing Jaras. Although he had been on the ship all day, she and Vincent hadn't run into him until now. "Hey Jaras."

Only then did he approach them, his companion following a short distance behind. "Hi, I wanted you two to meet Jeanine."

She came forward and extended her hand first to Tifa, then Vincent. "Nice to meet you."

"She's Brandon's daughter." Jaras explained. "I've known her since I arrived in Mideel. She just recently returned from Junon where she had been helping with some medical research. She is a doctor like her father."

Vincent was impressed. "A doctor, huh? That's quite an achievement."

Jeanine blushed slightly, dropping her gaze to the ground. "Thanks."

Vincent looked over at Tifa, "Do you mind if Jaras and I have a minute alone?"

Tifa nodded, knowing that this would give her a chance to get to know Jeanine better. "Not at all, I'm sure us girls can entertain ourselves for a while."

Vincent smiled in appreciation as Tifa and Jeanine made their way back below deck, leaving him and his son alone. He faced Jaras. "She seems like a good woman."

Jaras hung his head shyly. "We've been friends for a long time, and I just wanted someone to come on this trip with me that I knew."

"I understand." Vincent was pleased that Jaras seemed to be getting on with his life. "I wanted to just ask you how you've been feeling lately."

Jaras looked thoughtful for a few seconds before responding. "I've been all right."

"The memories haven't been haunting you anymore?" Vincent asked.

"No, not since I returned to Mideel." Jaras shrugged. "It's almost as though once Hojo was gone, something inside me calmed down and I just sort of became myself again… or at least, the person I was in Mideel before learning about my past."

Vincent accepted this answer, finding it to be truthful. "I'm glad to hear that."

"And yourself?" Jaras met his father's gaze, knowing that his answer wouldn't be so simple or pleasant.

Vincent took a deep breath. "It hasn't been easy. I haven't really been able to figure out what I should do or how to act. I know I've upset Tifa lately. I killed my brother, Jaras and I don't know how to deal with it."

Jaras shook his head. "From the way it was explained to me, _you _didn't kill him, Chaos did. I can't imagine what it's like to lose someone that close to you and I'm not going to lie and tell you that I understand, because I really don't. I can see that you're very unhappy right now, though."

Vincent confessed to his son, "I am."

"It has nothing to do with Tifa though, right?" Jaras dared to ask, fearing the end to his father and Tifa's relationship.

"No, not in the least. The only way she plays into it is that she has to be around me when I'm feeling like this." Vincent leaned against the railing. "I know I'm not any fun right now."

"What will make you feel better?" Jaras asked, wishing that there were something he could do to help.

"Having my own body back will be a big step." He sighed. "They think that might happen within the next six months. With that, I won't have to look at the body I have now and constantly be reminded about what I did to earn this."

"Six months? That's not very long, really." Jaras said, amazed that it might happen so quickly.

"I think maybe my mental state will be a lot better after that. Then I can lose this depression that's holding me down." Vincent narrowed his eyes. "That's what it is, you know that makes me act this way. Tifa just called me on it and as much as I hate to admit it, she's right. If Chaos was still in me, I'm sure I'd have more feelings to display, but it'd probably just be anger. I need help, Jaras."

Hearing such a plea from Vincent struck something within Jaras. "Jeanine is a psychiatrist as well as a general practitioner. Would you like to have her talk to you?"

Vincent in all his years had never sought professional counseling, as he'd never believed in it. Just this once though, for Tifa's sake he supposed he ought to give it a try. It was almost impossible for him to get his answer out. "Yes, I think so."

Jaras smiled at him and patted him on the back. "It'll be okay. Maybe she can help you figure out some things for yourself. No one wants to see you hurting."

Vincent realized that Jaras's friend would have her work cut out for her, trying to sift through his tangle of emotions and thoughts. It might take years for the contents of his head to make sense to anyone, doctor or not. "I appreciate this Jaras."

He was just happy to know that he could actually do something to help his father. "This will be good. Jeanine is wonderful. When I first came out of my coma in Mideel and was trying to cope with my amnesia, Brandon had me meet with her a few times to let me get out some of the anxiety and confusion I was feeling. She helped me an awful lot."

Vincent smiled and looked over at his son. "Isn't hanging out with her like you are now a violation of some patient-doctor ethic or something?"

"She isn't my shrink anymore." Jaras winked. "We're just friends now."

Vincent couldn't help but nudge his son, "_Just _friends?"

"For now." Jaras turned red. "I'm not going to deny the fact that I like her."

He pictured the woman in his mind, remembering the striking green eyes she had and her long, dark hair. She wasn't bad looking at all and could see how Jaras was attracted to her. "Well, you've got to do what you've got to do. Finding a doctor your own age who's that good looking and single is a Hell of a find."

"Luckily for me, she was about seventy pounds heavier until the last year or so. Otherwise I'm sure someone else would have stolen her away. She was cute anyways, but now that she's gotten into shape…" Jaras's words trailed off as he raised an eyebrow.

Vincent could see that his son was getting well past his brief infatuation with Tifa and was glad that his feelings were beginning to center around someone much more appropriate. "I hear you."

Jaras laughed. "I don't know, I guess if she likes me beyond the friendly that something could happen."

"I'll keep my fingers crossed for you." Vincent said back, the pained expression he had been showing earlier now long gone.


	44. 180 Shrink

Guilt's Cost: Part CLXXX

Shrink

By Kristen Gupton-Williams

Vincent followed Jaras below deck as they went to go find Tifa and Jeanine. They quickly ran into the two women by going to the bridge.

Everyone on the bridge of the airship was staring at Cid who had taken it upon himself to sit in the captain's chair, baby held tightly in his arms. He was presently barking out orders to the flight crew even though he actually lacked the authority to do so. However, even without having any authority over them, they were quickly doing what was asked, somehow knowing that this man _knew _what he was talking about.

Reno was there but since he knew nothing about flying, he didn't intervene and allowed Cid to continue calling the shots. He simply saw it as less work for himself as this would prevent the crew from asking him questions that he didn't have answers for.

Tifa and Jeanine were standing oblivious to the pilot's outbursts, instead staring out the window at the world passing below them.

Jaras and Vincent reached the women, and Jaras pulled Jeanine aside. "Hey, is there any chance you could do me a huge favor?"

Jeanine smiled up at him, glad to do anything for her companion. "Sure, what's up?"

"It's my father." Jaras kept his voice quiet, wanting to keep this just between them. "I think he could really use some counseling."

"Oh." Jeanine nodded, not minding the request at all. "I'd be happy to."

Jaras had expected her to agree, but he still openly displayed his gratitude. "That's great. When do you want to do it?"

She shrugged her shoulders. "Anytime's fine with me. How about now?"

Jaras raised his eyebrows. "Sure, I think he would be for it."

Vincent had draped one of his arms around Tifa's shoulders, trying his best to remain warm and open for her, no matter how much he wanted to slink off into the shadows. 

Jaras came over. "Jeanine wants to talk to you now, if you want."

Vincent looked at him, "Okay."

Tifa didn't know what was going on. "Talk to you about what?"

"She's a psychiatrist." Vincent said flatly.

Tifa's eyes went wide, in disbelief. "You're really going to talk to her… like as in getting professional help?"

Vincent was a little embarrassed and cast his gaze down to the floor. "Yes."

She threw her arms around her husband, knowing that it was an enormous step for Vincent to do something like this voluntarily. "I'm so proud of you!"

Vincent knit his brow and gave her an expression that plainly demanded that she curb her enthusiasm.

Tifa immediately became sheepish. "Sorry."

Vincent sighed. "I'm sure Jaras and you can kill some time, right?"

"Sure." She nodded, knowing that Vincent needed to get his session underway before he backed out.

Jaras looked at Jeanine. "Why don't you just go with Vincent to his own cabin? That should give you two some privacy."

Vincent nodded once and then started walking. Jeanine took this cue to follow him down to his quarters.

With Vincent and Jeanine gone, Jaras turned to Tifa, his expression instantly becoming shy. "So…"

Tifa took a step closer to him, smiling broadly. "Jeanine is great!"

He grinned back. "Yes she certainly is."

"I'm happy for you." Tifa put her hands behind her back, giddy with excitement for him.

"Well, we're just friends right now." Jaras was trying not to stare at Tifa. Jeanine or not, he still found her attractive and didn't want her to know that he still did. "But who knows?"

"Well, she likes you." Tifa giggled. "I saw the way she looks at you."

Jaras laughed to himself as Tifa playfully socked him in the arm. They stood silent together for a moment before Reno came over to intervene. "What, are we swapping partners? I saw Vinny and Jeanine take off together. Where do I sign up?"

"Reno!" Tifa rolled her eyes. "Honestly!"

"Come on, it'd be fun!" Reno shot back, seeming just a little too serious.

"If you take Tifa, then I'm left with Angel, and since she's my sister I don't think it would be all that great of an idea." Jaras added, also sounding serious.

Tifa stared at him agape. "Jaras! Not you too!"

Reno laughed. "Yeah, you're right. I guess I don't want to send my wife to bed with her brother; that'd just be too damn weird. But hey, I'll still give you a ride, Tifa."

Tifa didn't pull the punch that she at once threw at Reno. Her fist contacted him in the center of the chest, instantly causing him to bend over in pain. The wind had been cleanly knocked out of him and although he wanted to fight back verbally, for the moment he was silenced.

She didn't regret hitting him at all. Reno needed to have some sense knocked into him every once in a while. Plus she was fairly sure that if Angel had been here to hear his last comment, that she would have hit him herself. "I'm going to teach you."

Jaras stared on at Reno as the redhead continued to try and catch his breath. "Tifa, I think you just about killed him. I thought Turks were supposed to be tough. Look at him, one hit from a girl and he's beaten."

Reno forced himself to look up at Jaras. His face had darkened from this inability to draw a normal breath. He retorted with a strangled voice. "Fuck you."

Jaras raised his hands defensively. "I know Tifa just turned you down, but I'm not like that."

Beaten at his own game, Reno grew frustrated and after shaking off the last of his pain, walked away from the two of them.

Tifa and Jaras broke out in laughter, pleased with how they had just shot down Reno with their tag-team harassment of him.

***

Vincent held the door open to the small room as Jeanine entered. Once they were both safely inside, he locked the door to prevent them from having any interruptions. Jeanine sat on the single chair in the room and motioned for Vincent to take a seat on the bed.

Vincent did as ordered, feeling more than a little apprehension about this meeting. He had absolutely no idea where to start or what to say.

Jeanine smiled sweetly at him and got comfortable in her seat. "So, it is your brother's funeral that we are going to, am I right?"

"Yes." Vincent said back, betraying no feeling whatsoever.

"What was your relationship to him?" 

"I loved him very much. He and I were separated for a number of years and we were only reunited a few months ago." Vincent's face was blank and his voice quiet.

"And what are you feeling now that he's passed?"

Vincent hung his head, in his first display of emotion. "Guilty."

"Why?"

"Because I killed him."

"That's not my understanding of what happened." Jeanine's words were produced with a kind tone.

"You weren't there." He snapped back.

Jeanine was getting more from his body language than his words. "You're right, I wasn't. However, are you sure that it's guilt that's causing you the feelings you're having now?"

He looked up at her and narrowed his eyes. "Yes, what else would I feel? I'm guilty and depressed, that's all there is to it."

"I don't think that's right." Jeanine leaned forward, locking gazes with him. "You're not acting like someone who's trying to hide guilt."

Vincent's jaw tensed. He wasn't thrilled with the ease at which she was drilling into him. Although he again tried to maintain his appearance of stoicism, there were subtle signs he was giving her that he wasn't aware of.

Jeanine watched him for a moment, noticing the tension he was carrying in his posture as well as the nervous way he kept squeezing the mattress beneath his right hand. There was also an occasional twitch at the corners of his mouth, hinting at a grimace that he was suppressing. "Vincent?"

He knit his brow. "What?"

"What are you really feeling?" Jeanine had heard of his constant fluctuations in personality and moodiness from Jaras and in the half-hour that she had known him, she had seen this for herself. "You don't look like a man who's suffering depression from guilt."

"_Really_?" The biting tone with which he spat this out betrayed the truth.

"I think you're angry." Jeanine leaned back again, folding her hands in her lap.

"I'm not angry, not anymore. I used to get that way when Chaos was a part of me, but I'm not angry now." Vincent defended himself.

"Just because you're not acting out violently or having your temper ripped out of your control by some inward demon doesn't mean that you aren't mad." Jeanine cocked her head to the side. "You are suppressing whatever anger is inside of you, opting to mask it with this depressed and introverted exterior. You're very inconsistent with your behavior. I hate to say this, but you act rather bi-polar."

Vincent wasn't aware how much force he was producing with his right hand at the moment until he felt his fingers tear through the comforter he sat upon and sink into the filling of the mattress. He turned and looked down at his hand, seemingly surprised.

Jeanine watched this and saw a chance to point something out. "See, just because you're not aware of something that you're doing, doesn't mean its not happening."

Vincent brought his eyes up to meet hers. As much as he hated to admit it, even to himself, she had just hit upon something.

Jeanine smiled, as if to show him it was all right. "Why do you call your anger guilt?"

He thought for a moment. "Anger implies that you are out of control."

"Anger is perfectly normal." She let her smile relax. "It's all right to get angry, Vincent."

"Anger isn't something you're supposed to go around showing." He said in response, dropping his gaze to the ground.

"You're Wutain, aren't you?" Jeanine asked, already knowing the answer from Jaras.

"Yes." He cocked an eyebrow, not knowing quite where this fit in.

"It's Wutain society's effect on you. You were raised to think that any display of anger was a sign of weakness and lack of control. It's not your fault you feel that way, it's just the belief system you were raised with." She said softly.

He nodded slowly, well aware that Wutain culture was a subdued and restrictive one. He was interested to see where this was going.

"When did you first feel what you call guilt?" She asked.

Vincent thought again, remembering it very well. "After my father and stepmother were killed and I was taken to Midgar while Tseng was left in Wutai."

"Why would that make you feel guilty?" 

"Because my little brother shouldn't have been left alone like that." Vincent answered.

"Now, can you give me any reasons why that situation might have made you _angry_?"

"Because I had no control over what was happening. I was mad that we were being pulled apart even further than we already had been because of what happened to our parents." Vincent had never discussed his feelings on this in such a way.

"So really, you weren't guilty, because guilt implies that you had some sort of control over something and failed. Am I right?" Jeanine knew this was sinking into her patient.

"Stated that way, no, I wasn't guilty." 

"You actually were angry then, weren't you?" She leaned forward again.

"Yes."

"And you're angry now too, aren't you?"

"Yes."

"Why?" Jeanine's eyes narrowed in anticipation of Vincent's answer.

"Because I only got to be with him for such a short time before he died." Vincent broke off eye contact with her. "It's not fair… we were apart for so long and then when we finally found each other, he was just taken away."

"Vincent, that's completely normal." Jeanine smiled again.

He looked back up at her, blinking as he thought. "As a kid I was told anger was wrong, and as an adult Chaos fed off of my anger, so I tried to turn everything into guilt since I already had enough of that within me over Lucretia that a little more didn't seem to hurt. Even with that though, I was really pissed at Hojo for the things he did."

She just nodded, knowing that he had to talk this out for himself. Jeanine knew nothing about Lucretia or Hojo, but it didn't matter. It was clear that for all of his emotional instability that Vincent was an intelligent man and would be able to help himself with a little guidance.

He tensed his jaw a few more times before saying anything else. "So now what do I do?"

"Scream maybe? Break some dishes?" Jeanine tilted her head. "Be mad and know that it's okay. Get it out and then let it go. Just stop keeping it bottled up. Don't let it come between you and those you care about. I think you try to put on a cold outward appearance so people will stay away and not find out what's really going on."

She was right. Vincent knew it and did an odd thing; he laughed. Not just a nervous snicker, but full out _laughed, _hard enough to make him keel over onto his left side.

Aware that everyone had a different way of coping with feelings, Jeanine had expected him to do something but seeing Vincent busting up like he was, wasn't quite what she had thought would happen. "Vincent?"

He finally got enough control over himself to look at her as he laid on the bed. "Yes?"

"Are you okay?" She asked, somewhat worried that something had snapped between his ears.

Vincent rolled onto his back and stared up at the ceiling. "Yes."

"I think we've gone as far today as we should." Jeanine got up from her seat, knowing that any further deep conversation with Vincent wouldn't be productive. "I do want us to talk again in a few days, to see how you're doing."

"Sure." He sighed back, closing his eyes.

"I'll go get Tifa for you." Jeanine started to walk for the door.

"Hey," Vincent craned his neck to see her go.

She looked back over her shoulder, "Yeah?"

"Thanks." Vincent said, before closing his eyes again.

Jeanine unlocked the door and left, heading to the bridge, suspecting that Tifa and Jaras would still be there.

Meanwhile, Vincent suddenly became very tired. The fact that he hadn't slept the night before crashed in on him, and he was out cold by the time Tifa crept back into the room.


	45. 181 Discussions

Guilt's Cost: Part CLXXXI

Discussions

By Kristen Gupton-Williams

Later that evening on the airship found Brad and Cid sitting together in one of the cabins. Cid's son was down for the night amongst a small nest of blankets that his father had arranged on the floor. With his parental responsibilities for the day more or less at an end, Cid hadn't hesitated in the least when Brad had shown up at his door with a case of beer. Now, several hours later, both Cid and Brad were enjoying inebriation and sat talking as retired military men often do.

Brad sat in a chair, swirling the remaining beer in his last bottle. "How you feelin' about going back to Wutai?"

Cid scowled for a second as he thought out his answer. "You know, I wasn't all that thrilled about being there seven years ago, not after serving in the war. We lost a lot of friends there and it just sucks. Too many reminders."

Both pilots had been in the Shin Ra army during the second attempt at subduing the country. The Great Wutain War had taken place some seventy years previous, with Shin Ra the loser. However, the company wasn't above reattempting dominance and had tried a second smaller invasion of the land shortly after Cid and Brad had enlisted. This smaller war, if it could even really be called that was short lived, but bloody none the less. The Wutains had resisted fiercely, being too proud a people to roll over in submission to anyone, much less the world dominating company. Still, over three thousand people on both sides had perished, many of them pilots as Shin Ra had attempted to make it an air war.

Veterans such as these two rarely if ever visited the lands where the worst days of their lives had played themselves out and there was still some animosity in the two men toward the Wutain citizens, whether their bid to maintain sovereignty had been legitimate or not.

Brad nodded after considering Cid's words. "I hear you. Besides, the food is hideous."

"I know." Cid flipped the top of yet another bottle. "Would it kill them to cut the fucking heads off of the animals they cook up?"

The chopper pilot laughed, "Exactly. There's just something really nasty about your dinner staring up at you."

"Yeah, and the women ain't go no figures either." Cid sighed.

"Damn straight." Brad laughed again. He had always been a happy drunk if nothing else. "If it wasn't Tseng we were going there for, I sure as hell wouldn't be on this ship."

"Yeah," Cid hadn't even really known Tseng all that well, but he still had accrued a healthy level of respect for the man, even if he had rarely displayed it in the way he tended to refer to him. "He was all right."

"You ever miss the old days?" Brad asked. Even though their shared military service had been hard, there occasionally was a part of him that missed it.

Cid shrugged. "I dunno. Some parts of it maybe."

"You've got to admit, we did have some good times during our trips off base." Brad raised an eyebrow as he recalled their frequent drunken escapades.

"Amen to that!" Cid reached out and let his bottle clink against Brads. "We raised our share of hell didn't we?"

Brad chuckled. "We sure did."

***

Tifa undressed and slipped into bed, trying not to disturb Vincent who way lying asleep on top of the sheets. Despite her best attempts to not wake him, just as she lay back and placed her head upon her pillow his eyes flew open.

Tifa remained motionless just looking back at him, half hoping that he would simply go back to sleep. 

He didn't though and soon rolled onto his side and propped his head up on one of his arms. "Hey."

"Hey yourself." Tifa smiled through her tiredness. "How did it go?"

Vincent made a nonchalant expression. "Fine. What did you and Jaras do?"

"Gave Reno a hard time." Tifa's smile broadened. "And I hurt him."

"Who, Jaras or Reno?" Vincent's sleepy mind wasn't making connections very fast.

"Reno, silly." She reached out and tugged on an errant tendril of his hair. "But seriously, how did it go?"

"Well, Jeanine's a pretty sharp girl, I'll tell you that much. Cuts right to the chase," he replied.

"So what do you think? Do you think you'll talk to her again?" Tifa asked, continuing to twirl his hair around her finger.

"She said we will get together again in a few days." Vincent forced a frown. "I didn't manage to scare her off, apparently."

"Good, I really am proud of you for going through with it." She finally let his tress slip from her grip.

Vincent rolled his eyes. "I didn't really feel like I had much of a choice. I'd do anything to make you happy, you know that, right?"

"Oh Vincent," Tifa moved a little closer to him, "I just want to see you feel better and not act like you have to hide and push everyone away."

"I'm trying to get my head screwed on straight." Vincent draped his free arm over her middle. "She did have a suggestion for me though."

"What's that?" Tifa was intrigued.

"She said I need to vent my anger; to go and scream or break dishes." Vincent smiled at the thought.

"Well, can we maybe wait 'til tomorrow to start your anger management therapy?" Tifa let her eyes close. "I'm to tired to go destroying things tonight."

Vincent feigned disappointment. "Okay, if you insist."


	46. 182 Rites

Guilt's Cost: Part CLXXXII

Rites

By Kristen Gupton-Williams

A day and a half later, the airship finally arrived in Wutai. Vincent's great aunt had spoken to him the day before by telephone and had told him that he and his friends were invited to stay at her home. When Vincent stepped off of the airship with the others, they found the elderly woman standing in wait.

Vincent went up and gave Yokazi a brief embrace. "It's good to see you again, despite the circumstances."

She smiled, "This is just a temporary separation from Tseng. We will all be again together soon, so there is no reason for sadness."

Vincent nodded to her words wishing that he had the same depth of faith that she had been blessed with. "The monks do say that the true way to show your love for one that has passed is to let them go."

"That's right, Tsuvati." She reached out and gripped his hand.

Not wishing to dwell on the Tseng's death any more, Vincent kept hold of her hand and made the introductions for everyone, since the vast majority of those with him did not speak Wutain.

Yokazi's kind expression didn't falter as she was introduced to everyone present. Once in front of Cid, she immediately took notice of the baby in his arms.

Language barrier or not, Cid could plainly see the question in the old woman's eyes. "Yeah, he's mine."

Her smile grew wider, and she outstretched both of her arms toward the wriggling infant.

Again, Cid knew what she wanted and handed over his son, thinking that the woman would die if denied. "Here."

Yokazi took him and then stood admiring the child, before turning her eyes to Vincent. "When are you and Tifa going to have one?"

Vincent shrugged, not really wanting to tell his great aunt exactly _why _he couldn't have any children in his current state, so took the easy way out. "All in due time."

Yokazi accepted his answer at face value and then motioned for everyone to follow her to her home. 

When they got there, they saw that the table had been laden with a considerable amount of food. They took their places around the table. Everyone dove in and began filling their plates, except for Cid and Brad, who sat together eyeing the spread in search of something that looked if not appetizing, at least edible.

Tifa, who had gotten used to Wutain food during their last visit, noticed the expressions of the two men. "Come on you guys, eat something."

Cid cocked an eyebrow. "We don't know what any of this stuff is."

Tifa sighed and picked up a plate covered in various tempura vegetables and passed it down to them. "Here, try these."

Both Brad and Cid took some, and after giving their samples small tastes, decided that it was good and scooped up considerable portions for both their plates.

***

After the large dinner at Yokazi's house, Vincent knew that there were things that he was obligated to do for Tseng in proper Wutain custom. He got up from his seat and excused himself from the table. He went into the guestroom and donned the black suit that had been provided to him. He tied his hair back and then inspected himself in the mirror for a moment. The outfit he was in reminded him a little too much of his days as a Turk, but he was brought out of this daydream when Tifa came in.

"Where are you doing?" She asked, admiring him.

He smiled at her. "I'm going to see Tseng at the temple."

"Why?" She didn't understand the reason he needed to go now.

Vincent knew that she had no experience with Wutain Buddhist rituals and so decided to invite her along so that she could learn. "Get your dress on and you'll see."

Not having anything else to do, Tifa quickly put on the dress she had brought and followed him out the door.

They walked to the temple and made their way to the back of the building where they entered through a small door. Inside was the funerary preparation room, where Tseng's body was to be made ready for the ceremony tomorrow.

Tseng was currently lying on a plain wooden altar, covered from the shoulders down with a red blanket. There was little else in this room besides him.

A monk heard them enter and came around a corner to greet Vincent and Tifa. Seeing that a non-Wutain was in attendance, he didn't speak in the native language. "Tsuvati, you've come for the washing and vigil?"

He replied after bowing in respect. "That and to see if there was anything else that needed to be done in preparation."

The kindly monk smiled. "Then we shall get started."

Vincent made his way right to Tseng's side. The monk then brought over a large bowl with a ladle type device inside. He set it on a small table next to the body, close to where Vincent was standing.

Vincent, on cue, reached out and pulled Tseng's right hand out from under the blanket and held it palm up by the wrist. With his other hand, he picked up the ladle and began to pour water over Tseng's exposed hand. 

Tifa just watched in silence as Vincent did this for a total of three times.

Once done, Vincent put Tseng's hand back where it had been. He looked over at his wife. "Come over here."

Tifa did as asked, not certain what was going on.

Vincent had her stand where she had just been, and then whispered in her ear. "Do just what I did."

Knowing that it would be rude to refuse, Tifa reached out and picked up Tseng's cold hand. With a brief moment of hesitation, she grabbed the ladle and poured water over his hand, just as Vincent had done. After, she glanced at Vincent, who motioned for her to repeat the action two more times.

The monk then picked the bowl back up. "I'll go get his clothes now."

With the monk momentarily out of the room, Tifa turned to Vincent. 

He knew by the confused look on her face that she wanted to know what was going on. "That's the washing. It's just a sign of respect for the deceased."

"Why three times?" She asked.

He smiled at her. Things that seemed to make perfect sense to him were a mystery to her. "You'll learn that in a lot of ceremonies things are done in threes. In fact, you're going to have to learn the Tea Ceremony tonight where you'll see the pattern again."

"I have to learn something? Why?" She hadn't been told that she was going to have to participate in anything.

"Tomorrow at the funeral, when the monk arrives to read the Sutra you'll present him with green tea. It's a normal offering to make." Vincent put his arm around her shoulders.

The fact that she was going to have to perform some alien yet obviously important custom immediately made her nervous. "Why me?"

"As the eldest male, I am the head of the family and since you are my wife, it's your job. Don't worry, you'll do fine. It's easy enough." Vincent smirked. "Besides, you're not Wutain so if you screwed up, no one would blame you."

Now it was a challenge. "I won't mess up, Vincent. I'll pull off the best damn Tea thing you ever saw."

He laughed, "I'm sure you will. The monk is going to bring in Tseng's suit and we're going to dress him. If you want to step outside for this, it's fine with me."

Tifa had no intention of watching that. "Can I go feed the fish?"

Vincent kissed her cheek and pulled out a few coins from his pocket. "Go to the little building around the East side of the temple. They sell some things there, including koi food."

She beamed, remembering how wonderful it had been to feed the large fish in the pond last time they were here. "Cool!"

"The monk will come get you when we're done." Vincent said, giving her once more kiss before she ran out the door.

Tifa walked out to the shop and went up to the counter. All of the packages for sale there were written upon in Wutain and she had no idea which of them was fish food. The man working there smiled at her, and asked if he could help her, however, he didn't speak English and she stood just staring at him blankly.

Tifa's mind raced as to figure out how to tell him what she wanted. She made a gesture with her hand like she was tossing fish food out into the pond.

The man watched and then seemed to catch on. He grabbed one small bag and opened it to let Tifa see if he had the right thing.

See looked inside and saw that it wasn't fish food, but rather something that looked like course salt. Dismayed, she thought again, this time making a ridiculous face where she tried to make fish lips with her mouth.

This time the clerk's face broke into a grin as he figured out what she was really after. He produced another bag and this time when he showed it to Tifa, she nodded in approval. She placed the money that Vincent had given her onto the counter, not knowing how much it cost. The clerk took the right amount and handed her back the extra before passing her the bag of koi pellets.

Bag in hand, she went to the fishpond, pleased to see that they at once swam over to her as they expected to be fed. She sat on the grass, careful to not wrinkle her dress and began to drop pellets into the water. With a good amount of food floating on the surface she slowly reached down to begin petting them as she had done once before. The fish, having no fear of humans whatsoever, readily let her touch them as they ate their food.

"Aw God, don't tell me your touching those things!" 

Tifa turned to see Reno standing behind her with his hands shoved in his pockets. "Hey, what are you doing here?"

"Thought I'd go for a walk since the conversations going on back at the house seemed to all purposefully exclude me. Just so happens I came across this place to find you sittin' there playing with fish. I hate to be the one to tell you this, but hanging around Vinny has started to make you real weird." He took a few more steps toward her.

"No, it's not weird Reno." She patted the ground next to her, indicating that he should sit. "Come on, try it."

"I'll barely touch dogs and cats, and I sure as hell ain't petting something that'll probably end up on our breakfast plates in the morning," he said, now standing next to her.

"Ew, Reno!" She looked up at him with a disgusted expression. "They don't eat these, they're pets!"

"I'm sure they eat plenty of their 'pets'," he replied, reluctantly sitting down.

Tifa smiled as he sat; glad to see that despite his protests he was willing to try it. She gave him a handful of pellets. "Here, give them these."

He took them and brought them up to his nose, quickly pulling them away. "Smells like fucking cat food."

"Oh just shut up and feed them, okay?" Tifa said, resuming her own feeding of the fish.

Reno sighed and started to flick individual pellets out into the water. He immediately became entranced as he watched the large koi slowly drift over and eat the food. "Geez, that white one is huge…"

"Yeah, wait 'til the black one shows up, he's even bigger," Tifa said, pointing to where the particular fish in question was lurking.

"God, how long does it take one of these things to get that big?" Reno asked.

"Vincent says that they can live as long as we do." 

"No shit?" Reno was impressed. "I had no idea that fish could live that long."

A few minutes later, the monk came over to them. "Tseng has been dressed, you may go back to Tsuvati now."

Tifa got up and handed the rest of the fish food to Reno. He took the bag and stayed put, still rapt in the koi.

She followed the monk back to the room and entered. Tseng was now lying uncovered, dressed in a dark blue suit. She stopped dead in her tracks upon seeing Vincent.

He was sitting on his knees before the altar Tseng was upon. There was a low red table between him and his brother's body. Upon it were several items setting out and he seemed deep in thought.

Tifa didn't notice the monk go around her, quickly disappearing somewhere inside the temple. She was too busy staring at Vincent. His hands were placed together before his chest and his head bowed. He was chanting something quietly to himself, stopping every few moments to reach out with his right hand to ring a small brass bell three times that was sitting on the table before him. After the third such action, he picked up something off a small dish and dropped it into a bowl from which a small plume of smoke was coming out. The air in the room was beginning to fill with the smell of incense.

Tifa didn't really understand what he was doing and felt that she shouldn't disturb him. Not only for fear of ruining whatever it was that Vincent was doing but also for fear of making him stop. There was something odd about seeing him as he was. It almost seemed that he was in some sort of trance, somehow at peace. Tifa's only regret was that she couldn't understand what he was saying.

After a while, Vincent stood back up and turned to her.

Tifa still felt strange about invading into whatever customs were taking place. "What…. What were you doing?"

As if she had just asked the lamest question on earth, Vincent knit his brow. "Praying."

Never in a million years did Tifa think that she would have witnessed such a thing. "I didn't think you were… you know…"

He didn't display much emotion as he responded. "I have to do this forty-nine times before the funeral tomorrow. It's my job and I will be here all night with Tseng."

"Oh." Tifa hated how very out of place she was feeling. Part of her knew that Vincent himself didn't really want anyone to see him doing all that he had to do for the funerary rites. "If you want me to go home, I can."

He raised his eyebrows. "No, you don't have to leave. There's nothing in the rules about you being here. In fact, if you want to help, you can."

She truly had no idea what he was expecting her to do. "How?"

"I'll show you." He turned back and knelt again before the altar.

Tifa knelt down at his side as he had indicated to her she should do. 

Vincent looked at her. "I know you don't know Wutain so I'm not going to expect you to recite Sutra like me. You can just say whatever prayer it is that you have. After each recitation, ring the bell and then after the third recitation, place a little incense into the burner, okay?"

Completely out of familiar territory, Tifa blushed. Praying for her and her religion was something that was always done alone. She somehow felt that partaking in this without being a proper Buddhist was wrong. "Are you sure?"

"It's just a sign of respect for the dead, that's all." Vincent could sense how out of place she was feeling. "I'm not going to make fun of you, if that's what you're thinking."

Tifa laughed to herself, trying to relieve some of her tension. "Okay."

Vincent gave her a brief smile before placing his hands together and bowing his head as he had done before. He again started to recite the Sutra in Wutain.

Tifa, knowing that she had to go through with this now, mimicked his pose. Her mind raced for some sort of prayer. Eventually she opted to go with the generic funeral rites that she had heard repeated in her own life:

"The Lord is my shepherd; I shall not want.

He makes me to lie down in green pastures;

He leads me beside the still waters.

He restores my soul;

He leads me in the paths of righteousness

For His name's sake.

Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death,

I will fear no evil;

For You are with me;

Your rod and Your staff, they comfort me.

You prepare a table before me in the presence of my enemies;

You anoint my head with oil;

My cup runs over.

Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me

All the days of my life;

And I will dwell in the house of the Lord

Forever."

When she had said the last line, she took the bell and rang it the prescribed number of times. Vincent finished his Sutra shortly thereafter and picked up the bell just as she set it down. They repeated their individual prayers two more times until both contributing to the incense.

As Vincent dropped his offering of incense in the bowl, he turned to Tifa. "Well done."

She blushed a little, feeling self-conscious. "That was all I could think to say…"

"It was fine." Vincent draped an arm around her shoulders. "I don't expect you to sit here and do this all night though, if you don't want."

Although part of her didn't want to, she certainly didn't want to abandon Vincent with his dead brother for the rest of the night. "If I stay here, will we have enough time in the morning to show me that Tea thing?"

Vincent smiled at her, pleased with her desire to remain at his side. "Let's see, I only have to pray forty-seven more times tonight, that should leave us enough time in the early hours to teach you. It isn't that hard, and the tea will help you stay awake."

She returned his smile, happy to know that he was letting her into his world; allowing her to see a side of him that no one else ever did. "Okay, sounds like a plan."


	47. 183 Inevitabilities

Guilt's Cost: Part CLXXXIII

Inevitabilities

By Kristen Gupton-Williams

It was around three in the morning when Vincent and Tifa recited their respective prayers for the forty-ninth and final time. Tifa rose up to stretch her aching legs, envying for the moment Vincent's mechanical body and endurance.

He watched her and smiled. "If you want to go to the house and sleep, I don't mind."

Tifa had made the decision earlier to remain with him all night and wasn't going to give in now. "No, I'm okay."

Vincent could easily tell from the posture of her body that she was in need of rest but knew that she was too proud to give up. "Tea?"

"Huh?" Tifa wasn't thinking her best at the moment.

"Tea Ceremony." Vincent got up from the floor. "No time like the present to learn."

"Oh yeah." Tifa clasped her hands, ready to give it a try. "I'm ready."

"Wait here just a minute." Vincent said as he went into the small room adjacent to where they were. He quickly returned with a tray containing several items. He placed it upon the table that they had been praying before and arranged the items. There was a small stand that he placed a teapot on, and lit a small candle beneath it. There was also a jar, bowl, basin, spoon, two white pieces of fabric, and a tea whisk. He left the room again for a moment, to retrieve a stone ware bowl, containing water and a ladle. He then pulled the table to the center of the room, kneeling on one side of it. "Come sit opposite to me."

Tifa did as ordered and knelt as he did. "Okay, what do I do?"

"First, take one of the napkins."

She did as ordered and then looked at him for further instruction.

"Wipe off the ladle, the spoon, and then wipe out the inside of that white bowl." Vincent said, pointing to the appropriate items.

Again, Tifa did as requested.

"Now, use the ladle to place some of the water from that large bowl into the little one. Then, pick up the tea whisk, swish it around the bowl a few times and then set it down."

She complied and looked back up at him.

"Now, pour the water in the bowl out into the basin, then wipe it out with the cloth again." He was surprised that she hadn't stopped yet to ask why she was doing any of these things.

Tifa emptied the bowl and dried it, then setting it down before her. "Now what?"

"Take the lid off that jar, and use the spoon to put three scoops of tea into the bowl." It may have been over thirty years since he had seen this done, but it was etched in his memory.

Tifa carefully measured out the three spoonfuls before placing the lid back onto the jar and setting down her spoon.

Vincent nodded in approval, seeing that she wasn't having much trouble with it. Luckily the Wutain Tea Ceremony was by far simpler than that of some other Buddhist nations. "Now, pour just enough of the hot water from the kettle to cover the tea in the bottom of the bowl."

Tifa poured the water as instructed.

"Now, mix it with the whisk until the powder is dissolved. Then add just a little more water and mix it until it's the consistency of melted ice-cream." 

Tifa smiled a little at his example but quickly did as she was told. "Okay, there."

"Now, pretend I'm the monk and hand me the bowl." 

She picked up the bowl and held it towards him.

"Now, as I reach for it I will bow, and after I take it from you, you bow back, making sure to get just a little lower than I went." 

Tifa watched him graciously accept the tea before bowing back as prescribed.

Vincent brought the bowl close to his body and then took his right hand, grasped the rim and rotated the bowl towards his body three times. That done, he brought the bowl up to his lips and drank, again for a total of three times. He then picked up the second of the white cloths and wiped the edge of the bowl before handing it back to Tifa, bowing once more in the process.

This time she didn't need to be prompted and she bowed as she accepted the bowl from him.

Vincent smiled at her in approval. "There, that's basically it. Now all you have to do is rinse out the bowl like you did the first time, clean the whisk, and then dry everything."

"Then I'm done?" Tifa asked, getting to the task of cleaning the supplies.

"Until the end of the funeral. Then you will do this again for the monk before he leaves, except that time you'll make the tea a little thinner." Vincent replied.

"Can I ask what this means?" Tifa finally inquired.

"Well, first off, offering the tea to the monk is a sign of respect. The thick tea that you make first is to signify his accession to the spiritual world, so that Tseng will understand his actions during the funeral. The thinner tea at the end represents the monk's return to the physical world." Vincent hoped this didn't sound as corny to her as it did him at the moment.

She seemed to accept his answer completely, just nodding in response when he was finished. "Can we do it one more time, just to make sure I get it right?"

"Sure." Vincent smiled at her. "This time, you drink some of it too, so you'll know what it's like. It'll help keep you awake, too."

***

About that same time in the night, Reno awoke to find that Angel was missing from his bed. He sat up and looked around the dimly lit room, not seeing her anywhere. Not liking the idea of her being off wandering the house at this hour, he threw off the sheets and decided to scout out the house in nothing more than his boxers. He opened the bedroom door and stared into the family room, seeing nothing other than Cid and Brad camped out snoring on the floor. Reno made his way forward, carefully stepping over the pilots that littered the carpet and entered the kitchen. Much to his relief, he found Angel sitting at the kitchen table. "There you are."

She smiled at him with tired eyes. "Come over here and sit."

He did as ordered, wondering what was on her mind keeping her up this late. "Something wrong?"

Angel shook her head, her smile not fading. "No, nothing's wrong at all."

"Then what's up?" Reno rested his arms on the table's surface. "My girl doesn't miss sleep for much."

"Well, this is something sort of important." Angel replied, before taking a sip from her cup of hot chocolate.

Reno knit his brow, "What?"

"I was going to wait to tell you when we got back to the base, since it didn't seem quite appropriate to tell you here, with the funeral happening tomorrow and all." Angel's composure changed slightly, indicating that she was getting nervous.

Now Reno was really intrigued. "Tell me what? You want a divorce or something?"

"No, retard." Angel reached over and shoved him lightly. "Reno, you're going to be a father."

His eyes went wide and for the first time in his life, Reno found himself at a loss for words. His breathing became erratic, and if it hadn't been so dark, Angel would have seen the color drain from his face.

Angel wasn't sure what his reaction meant, "Are you okay?"

His head bobbed slightly before he fell out of his chair and onto the floor. The hyperventilating that he had started caused him to pass out.

Angel gasped and got out of her chair, racing to his side. She bent down and placed her hands on the sides of his face, "Reno?"

He opened one confused eye and looked up at her. "That's me."

"Are you all right?" Angel already knew the answer since he was feeling well enough to toy around.

His other eye opened and he smiled. "Are you sure?"

Angel laughed quietly to herself. "Of course I am. Dr. Arlin confirmed it for me yesterday."

"No shit?" Reno sat up. "Really?"

"Yes." Angel was feeling relieved in having told him.

"Crap, your dad's going to kill me, you know that right?" Reno truly did fear Vincent's reaction to this news.

"No, he won't." She got back up to her feet and extended a hand to him.

Reno stood and took her into his arms. "Are you happy?"

"Of course!" Angel rested her head against his shoulder. "Are you?"

Reno smiled, "Hell yeah, I love you."


	48. 184 Good News

Guilt's Cost: Part CLXXXIV

Good News

By Kristen Gupton-The Tattooed and Pierced Freak-Williams

At sunrise, Vincent gently woke Tifa up, as she had fallen asleep on the floor after lying down to 'just rest her eyes'. 

She blinked up at him in the bright morning light and stretched, chasing the stiffness from her body after sleeping on the floor. "You let me fall asleep?"

Vincent cocked an eyebrow at her as he helped her up. "I didn't stop you, no."

She feigned anger for a few seconds until she looked down to see that her dress was terribly wrinkled, at which point she did get mad. "Damn it, I can't wear this now!"

He inspected her for a moment. "We can go out and get you something else."

"Don't you have to stay with Tseng?" She asked, pointing to where his brother's body was lying.

"That was only through the night. Until the funeral starts I can leave, now that it's light out," he replied, taking her hand in his.

"Oh, I thought you had to stay." Tifa knew that she really had no knowledge of what was going on.

"No, now that it's morning I no longer have to guard him from spirits trying to steal him in the night." Vincent said in a matter of fact tone. "And no, I don't think that any evil ghosts would have taken him, but a tradition is a tradition."

It was amusing at least to watch Vincent bend to customs, irrational as they may have been. Tifa followed quietly as he led her from the building and out into the temple square. They were surprised to see Angel and Reno coming to meet them.

Angel smiled wide upon seeing her father. "Good morning. Did the vigil go well?"

"Yes." Vincent smiled in return. "What brings you two out this early?"

"Well, me and the misses thought we'd treat you two to breakfast." Reno replied, putting his arm around Angel's shoulders.

"Aw, that's really nice you guys!" Tifa beamed, more than ready to eat.

They left the temple area and went to a small restaurant a few blocks away. They ordered their food and then sat waiting for it to be brought out.

Angel couldn't contain herself any longer. "The real reason that Reno and I wanted to catch up with you this morning is to let you two be the first to know something important."

Tifa and Vincent sat silently, awaiting the news.

"Okay," Angel gathered herself half expecting her father to pass out much as Reno had when he had learned. "Reno and I… are having a baby."

Tifa immediately squealed and jumped to her feet, quickly running around the table and throwing her arms around Angel. "Oh God, that's wonderful!! I can't believe it!"

Vincent's reaction was a little more subdued. He cocked an eyebrow and stared at Reno. "Really..?"

"No, we're just saying it to fuck with your mind." Reno grinned and winked. "Of course really."

Angel looked at her father as Tifa retreated back to her own seat. "Aren't you excited?"

Vincent forced a smile and gazed at her. "Sure."

"You aren't really acting much like it." Angel said, putting on a pout and crossing her arms over her chest.

He knew that he had to do something and so got up from his seat and went around the table. Vincent took Angel in his arms. "If you're happy, then I am too."

"Thanks," Angel was just grateful that he hadn't come to their side of the table to throttle Reno.

Vincent stepped back from his daughter after a few moments and started to go back to his seat, but not before smacking Reno in the back of the head.

Reno cringed from the blow and glared at Vincent. "Hey!"

Vincent extended an index finger at his son-in-law as he sat back down. "You better take good care of her."

"I will." Reno scoffed. "Geez…"

"You're going to be a grandfather." Tifa said jokingly as she nudged Vincent. "Isn't that cool?"

He shrugged. "It sounds a bit weird."

"Well, you should probably get used to it, considering that all the kids you and I are going to have will have children of their own someday. You'll probably be a granddad a hundred times over before it's all done." Tifa chirped back to him.

Vincent turned to face her. He was touched by her optimism about the future they would share after he had a normal body again. Unable to restrain himself, Vincent kissed her.

Reno instantly became uncomfortable watching what was in actuality a brief kiss between Tifa and Vincent. "Come on, you guys are gonna ruin breakfast."

***

Once they were done eating, Angel and Reno went off on their own to look at the town awhile before the funeral. Tifa and Vincent went to hunt something for Tifa to wear. Eventually they came to a rather spendy row of shops and Vincent led Tifa inside, knowing that there must be something here that she would like.

Hanging in the back of the shop in a display case was a gorgeous kimono. It was black silk, embroidered with a midnight blue pattern. The hand painted sash with it was the same blue as the embroidery, and upon it were painted black flowers. Tifa rested her hands upon the glass case. She had never seen anything so ornate or beautiful in all her life.

Vincent saw the way she was staring. "Do you want it? I think it would be perfect."

Tifa looked over her shoulder at him, sadness in her eyes. "No, it's too expensive but wouldn't you know it, it's my size and everything."

It was at that moment that he realized that he had never told Tifa exactly how much money he had, thanks to his work over the years. "Tifa, money is no object."

"Vincent, I don't want you to go blowing all of what you've got on something like this. Did you see the price tag? It's four thousand gil." Tifa sighed, turning her eyes back to the incredible piece of silken art.

He took a step closer to her and slipped his arm around her waist and whispered in her ear, "Tifa, I've got over seventeen million."

Her eyes went wide and she turned to face him. "No way…"

Vincent nodded. "It's true."

She was speechless and felt her hands begin to shake.

He could see that she was in disbelief. Vincent knew full well that Tifa hadn't grown up with much and after Meteor she still only managed a moderate income with Cloud. "You don't ever have to worry about money again."

Tifa had never in all her life thought that she would be rich. Nor could she believe that Vincent had kept this secret from her all this time. "You never said anything to anyone!"

He shrugged. "Actually, Cid knows. I made a wager with him once and told him that if he won that I would give him three million of it. Needless to say, he didn't win."

"Pardon my French, Vincent, but holy shit!" Tifa threw her arms around his neck.

The clerk in the usually quiet store took notice of the drama going on and came over. One look at the two people present and he thought that they certainly weren't here to buy anything. "I'm going to have to ask the two of you to keep it down, or leave."

Vincent smirked at the snobbish little man and pointed to the kimono. "Not until you've got that wrapped up for my wife."

The clerk knit his brow, not sure that the man talking to him had any idea how much the item in question cost. "Sir, that is a traditional handmade silk kimono and it costs four grand."

Vincent reached down and pulled out his wallet, removing his debit card from within. "Then go ring me out for it and then get it wrapped."

The clerk suddenly realized that Vincent was serious and jogged back to the register knowing that this would most likely be the biggest sale of the month. He returned a few moments later to hand Vincent his card and open the glass case with a key from his pocket. He pulled the kimono down from the display carefully. "Perhaps the young lady would like the complimenting tabi and geta?"

Tifa had no idea what had just been said and looked to Vincent for guidance. 

He saw her expression. "Shoes, Tifa."

"Oh, uh, yeah I guess so as long as you've got them in a seven." She said, not even daring to ask how much those were.

The clerk could tell that he was dealing with someone who really had little idea what she needed to go with the kimono. "And the lady undoubtedly would like the under dress and slip, too?"

Not wanting to come off as a total idiot to those around her, Tifa nodded. "Sure."

The clerk looked pleased as he gathered the accessory items and took them to the front counter. He looked back up at Vincent while he placed the items in bags. "And I suppose you would like all of this on the card as well?"

Vincent rolled his eyes and again produced the debit card for the clerk.

He accepted the card and ran it through for the remainder of the bill, which came to near six hundred more. Then he finished wrapping the kimono and got it into a bag and then handed Vincent back his card and the receipts. "I thank you very much for your purchases, Sir. You and the lady have a wonderful day."

Vincent thanked him and picked up the bags. Tifa clung to him excitedly as they made their way back to the house.


	49. 185 Preparations

Guilt's Cost: Part CLXXXV

Preparation

By Kristen Gupton-Williams

Vincent and Tifa returned to Yokazi's house to find everyone else busy getting ready for the funeral. Most of the men, including Cid had gotten black suits for the occasion and were sitting around the family room talking while the females all continued to get ready. Vincent and Tifa went into the room that they had been assigned and started to lay her new outfit on the bed.

Once everything was out before her, Tifa looked at all the items she was supposed to put on. "I have no idea how to get this all on right."

Although being a man Vincent had never had the chore of putting on a kimono, however he did know that it wasn't a one-person job. "Would you mind if I got Yokazi to come in here and help you dress?"

Tifa glanced over at him. "No, that'd be great."

He nodded in response and went out the door. Vincent found the old woman in the kitchen, already dressed in her own kimono. "I have a favor to ask."

His aunt turned to him. "Anything."

"I bought Tifa a kimono this morning and she doesn't know how to get dressed, and I am of no help to her," he admitted.

Yokazi just smiled in response and went to Tifa's door, indicating that Vincent should stay out with the other men.

Tifa automatically bowed to the older woman, at least having that much programming in her regarding Wutains. She pointed to the kimono and accessories lying on the bed.

Yokazi walked to the foot of the bed and clasped her hands before her chest, impressed with the objects. "Very nice."

"Huh?" Tifa couldn't believe that she had just heard the other woman speaking in English.

Yokazi turned her eyes to Tifa. "You don't get to be my age and not learn the language of the outsiders."

"But… Vincent said you could only speak Wutain!" Tifa was shocked.

"No, no." Her smile widened. "I just tell that to the young ones, so that they are forced to remember their own tongue. You cannot let them get lazy."

"Oh this is so great!" Tifa was thrilled that she could communicate with her hostess. She then motioned toward the bed. "Isn't this the most beautiful thing you ever saw?"

"It is lovely." Yokazi reached down and touched the silk. "Tsuvati must have paid a fortune for this."

"Yes, he did." Tifa felt a little embarrassed that her husband had spent this much on such an outfit for her, regardless of his wealth.

"Well then, let's get you dressed." Yokazi picked up the cotton slip that had come with the kimono. "This is first, then the under dress. Next we will get your tabi and geta on, followed lastly by the kimono and sash."

"Okay." Tifa began to don the outfit with Yokazi's help. It took her a few moments to learn how to stand in the raised shoes that she had to wear but soon she had her bearings. 

Yokazi helped to slip the kimono over her shoulders and then they came to the task of winding the long sash about Tifa's middle. Yokazi secured the end of the sash to the kimono and then had Tifa begin to slowly turn so that the obi was wound properly about her waist and lower chest. The old woman's skilled hands soon had the job finished and she pinned the sash to itself beneath a silken over wrap in the back. "Now I just need to fix your hair and makeup."

Tifa smiled. "Oh, okay."

"Wait just one minute." Yokazi slipped from the room, quickly returning with several brushes and hair sticks in her hands, as well as a makeup case. She had Tifa sit down on the end of the bed before starting to put her hair up. This was the longest portion of Tifa's dressing time as Yokazi intricately wound up her hair and decorated it with various gold ornaments. Lastly, she did Tifa's makeup in the traditional way, making her skin white, lips blood red, and eye shadow pink.

When Yokazi was finally done, she had Tifa stand so that she could inspect her. "Look in the mirror, you're finished."

Tifa walked over to the full-length mirror and admired what Yokazi had done for her. "Thank you! Do you think Vincent will like it?"

The old woman smiled back at her as she prepared to leave the room. "I think you will even test the monk's conviction today."

Tifa laughed shyly. 

As the old woman stepped out, she said back over her shoulder, "Remember our secret."

"Okay." Tifa turned to look at her image in the mirror again, still in disbelief about the clothes she was wearing. They made her feel like royalty.

Vincent came back in after seeing his aunt leave. He spotted Tifa standing in front of the mirror. He cleared his throat to get her attention.

Tifa spun to face him.

Vincent's mouth fell open. "Tifa…"

"What? Is something wrong?" she asked, not familiar with the look on his face.

"No…" he took a few steps closer to her. Tifa had always been beautiful to him, but there was something so much more wonderful about seeing her here dressed in his home's traditional clothing. Everything about her was perfect. "You are the most incredible thing I have ever seen in my life."

Tifa blushed, but it wasn't visible beneath her makeup. "Stop, you're embarrassing me."

He came to her and placed his hands on her shoulders. "God, I wish I could kiss you right now without messing you up."

"Down, boy." Tifa giggled. "Tonight, okay?"

Vincent growled deep in his throat. "That's too long."

Tifa slapped him playfully. "Knock it off! I've never seen you like this!"

He cocked an eyebrow and smirked. "And I've never seen you like _this_."

Tifa couldn't help but realize that his behavior wasn't helping her want to keep away from him at the moment either. "Come on, let's go before Yokazi has to come back and get me dressed again."

Vincent picked up one of her hands and brought it to his lips, closing his eyes while he kissed it. He then let go and turned for the door.

Her own heart racing, Tifa walked out. "You just wait."

When Tifa stepped out into the living room of the house, all conversations at once ended as every man present turned to look at her. Most noticeable amongst them Cid, who had a slack jawed look on his face. "That you Tifa?"

She smiled, wanting to put her hands over her face and hide from the attention. "Of course it is, Cid."

Brad looked over at his old comrade and whispered to him. "Didn't know Wutain style could look so good, huh?"

Cid pushed his friend away. "Bite me, Brad."

Vincent looked at the clock on the wall and called everyone's attention away from his wife. "Okay, it's time to go."


	50. 186 Funeral

Guilt's Cost: Part CLXXXVI

Funeral

By Kristen Gupton-Williams

Everyone walked together towards the temple, mostly in silence. When they got to it they entered, finding Tseng lying in a casket placed up on an ornate altar. The smell of incense and flowers hung heavily in the air. A short table much like the one that had been in the preparation room rested before the altar, covered in the same items that Vincent had been using the night before. There was another low table near to the entrance of the temple and on it rested the items for the Tea Ceremony. 

The crowd gathering quickly filled the seats and Vincent, Tifa, Jaras, Jeanine, and Yokazi sat in front. Vincent looked back over his shoulders at those attending, quickly spotting Rude sitting toward the back of the room. He took notice of Vincent's stare and waved with his left hand, a pair of white gloves clutched within it, indicating that he had been invited as a pallbearer.

As they all settled in, the temple bell rang three times, indicating that the monk was coming. Vincent leaned over and whispered into Tifa's ear, "It's time for you to go make the monk's tea."

She looked at him with a bit of trepidation before rising up. Tifa made her way to the small table near the door and went to the far side of it, seeing that this was where her preparation items were laying.

The monk entered and all those present rose. He came over to Tifa and bowed which she returned. The monk then knelt down before the tea table and Tifa sat as well. Not betraying the nervousness she felt she methodically preformed the Tea Ceremony just as Vincent had shown her the night before. Once the tea was made, she handed it to the monk with a bow. He took it into his hands, turned it three times and then drank. As he handed the bowl back to her, he smiled. "Well done."

He then got up and made his way to the front of the room and after Tifa finished cleaning the items she followed and retook her seat next to Vincent. Everyone in the room then sat.

The monk bowed and then knelt before Tseng. He rang the bell there three times, made an offering of incense and then picked up a scroll lying on the table. He opened it and read the Sutra written upon the paper. The reading lasted ten minutes, the monk rocking rhythmically with the chant. When done, he again rang the bell and dropped more incense in the burner. He rose up and faced the congregation. "It is now the brother's turn to speak."

Vincent got up and went forward. He briefly knelt before the table and said a prayer, rang the bell, and dropped a pinch of incense in the burner. That done he got up and faced everyone. Vincent had never been a fan of public speaking and hesitated a moment before saying anything.

Finally, he pulled a folded piece of paper from a pocket and cleared his throat. "I never thought that I would be speaking at my little brother's funeral."

He let a short silence pass as he struggled to suppress the tightness in his throat. "Tseng and I spent most of our childhood fighting and at times, trying to kill each other. I know that just made us typical boys but if I knew then what I do now, I don't think I ever would have been able to stay angry at him like I did when young. We were separated for a long time after the death of our father and his mother but despite the distance that was put between us we stayed close. He looked up at me back then, so much so that he eventually followed in my footsteps to become a Turk. Despite his young age, he managed to work his way to the top, becoming the best that the Turks had to offer. He was fiercely loyal to his job; the model employee.

Due to circumstances he and I were torn apart for well over thirty-five years. After Meteor, Tseng found himself with a chance to start his life over. He took the same conviction and loyalty that he had shown as a Turk and turned it into a force for good by founding ASRIO. Tseng built the resistance with the same drive, determination, and dedication of service that had made him such a great Turk.

Thanks to his consideration and concern we were eventually reunited. Not only do I owe him my life as well as that of my wife, but he also brought me together with my son as well as a daughter that I didn't know existed.

My life is not the only one that was touched by him, though. Over the years through his work with ASRIO he has saved and improved the lives of countless others. This world would be a much different place with out what he did, and for that we all owe him a huge debt of gratitude.

Tseng was a man filled with honor and was a credit to his Wutain heritage. I will miss him deeply." Vincent's last words trailed off as the tears that he had managed to hold back that long finally won out. He hurriedly retook his seat, not wanting to have everyone watch him break down.

The monk came forth again and made one more offering of incense. As he did this, Vincent managed to tell Tifa that it was time for her to return to the tea table. She quickly obeyed and was soon followed by the monk. Tifa made the second offering of tea, thinner than the first and was again given a look of approval by the monk as he returned the bowl to her.

The monk rose from the table and stepped into the doorway. The bell to the temple rang three times; indicating to the pallbearers that it was time to take Tseng out. Vincent, Reno, Jaras, Quigley, Ericson, and Rude pulled on the white gloves they had been given and stood. Vincent approached his brother's body first, reaching out and closing the casket's lid. Then the other five men gathered around and took hold of the coffin, hoisting it up onto their shoulders.

The six pallbearers carried the casket out of the temple. There was a horse drawn cart waiting out front onto which they loaded the coffin. That done, the carriage driver signaled his horses to go and the cart slowly made its way down the street.

Tifa came to Vincent's side as he stood watching the cart retreat. "Now what do we do? Are we going to the cemetery for the graveside service?"

Vincent smiled down at her through his tear-reddened eyes. He knew that Tifa didn't know any better. "The funeral is over now. The monk's reading allowed Tseng's spirit to pass over into the next world. His body is just a shell now, there is no more reason to follow it or pay it tribute."

Wutain custom or not, Tifa felt a little weird to watch the cart carrying Tseng's body disappear into the distance without them going along. "So we don't go see where he's buried?"

"I can show you tomorrow." Vincent placed an arm around her shoulders, seeing that she was having trouble understanding. "For now, we need to let the undertaker do his job in peace."

Their moment was broken as Cid came up and clapped Vincent on the back. "You did a hell of a job man. He'd be proud."

Vincent, unaccustomed to hearing praise from the pilot smiled at him weakly. "Thank you."

Rude came up with Reno at his side. Vincent looked at the two men and sighed. "Reno, thanks for inviting Rude."

Reno shrugged. "I knew the boss would have liked him here. Have the old gang together one last time, you know."

"I wouldn't have missed it for the world." Rude said quietly. "Even if I did have to lie about where I was going for a few days. Not that I minded seeing Reno and Porter again, either."

Reno looked over at Vincent. "Hey, Rude, Porter, and me were going out tonight to have some drinks on Tseng's behalf. You can come if you like, seeing as that you meet the old Turk qualification."

"I appreciate the invite, Reno." Vincent pulled Tifa a little closer to him, "but I think I'll stay in tonight."

Immediately getting a lewd expression, Reno replied, "Oh, I see."

There was another interruption when Yuffie managed to push her way to the crowd to come before Vincent. "Vince, um, I'm sorry about Tseng."

He nodded at her, "thanks Yuffie."

She then looked over at his wife before locking gazes with him again. "I know this really isn't any of my business, but where's Tifa?"

Tifa laughed, knowing that few people would recognize her the way she was currently made up. "Yuffie! It's me!"

"Tifa?" Yuffie scrutinized her for a moment. "Oh my gosh, I thought you were someone else! You're beautiful!"

"Thanks!" Tifa replied, giggling a little.

Yuffie's short attention span was then drawn to Cid. Once she spotted the older man she immediately ran to him. She threw herself into his arms as they were currently not occupied by his baby. "It's been so long!"

Cid rolled his eyes and placed his arms reluctantly around her. "Not near long enough."

"Oh, you kidder!" Yuffie laughed as she stepped back, oblivious to the fact that he was dead serious. "Tifa told me on the phone a while back about Shera." Suddenly her whole demeanor changed as her spark of energy seemed to fade for a moment. "I'm really sorry."

Cid shrugged it off, already being pained by the memory of her death courtesy of the funeral. "It's okay."

"So where's this baby I've heard about?" Yuffie said, again getting excited.

"Sunshine's aunt has him at the moment." Cid said, glancing over at Vincent.

Yuffie at once remembered the pilot's tendency to grant Vincent embarrassing nicknames and she laughed. "You gonna let him keep getting away with that, Vince?"

Hearing her call him 'Vince' was by far more irritating than Cid's pet names for him, but he opted for the better part of valor and didn't share this information with her. "Yeah, I am."

"Well hey, I'll see you guys later, I've got to go track down that baby and get a look at him. See ya!" With that, she disappeared back into the crowd.

Vincent looked at Tifa and smiled. "Let's go back to the house."


	51. 187 Resolution

Guilt's Cost: Part CLXXXVII

Resolution

By Kristen Gupton-Williams

Vincent wasn't feeling up to mingling with all those gathered after the funeral. He walked with Tifa back to the house. Once they arrived there, Vincent took her straight to the bedroom they shared.

Tifa took a few steps in and turned to face Vincent. He was leaning against the door and reached down to lock it. She smiled at him, not having seen the particular look on his face before.

His head was slightly lowered, forcing him to look upwards in order to see her. The left corner of his mouth was pulled up, somewhere between a sneer and a smile. Although he lacked the male anatomy to show it at the moment, Vincent was _very _aroused. "You're really beautiful."

Tifa giggled, and looked away. "You're being silly…"

He cocked an eyebrow. "No, I'm not."

The tone of his voice caught Tifa's attention and she locked gazes with him. She suspected what was on his mind. How anyone could be in this state after being at their brother's funeral she didn't quite understand, but then again, Vincent wasn't like most people. Maybe it was his way of escaping the moment. "Are you just going to lean against the door all day or what?"

His smile widened enough to show his teeth. He wasn't doing this for any type of escape; he was doing it because seeing Tifa dressed as she was, made him feel overly erotic. He slowly approached her. 

When Vincent finally got to her, Tifa was surprised by the force with which he kissed her. She gave in fully and let him invade her mouth. 

While his lips were against hers, he carefully began to pull the sticks from her hair, causing it to fall over her shoulders. He pulled away from her for a moment to admire her with her hair down briefly, before taking her back into his arms. Vincent swept her up off the floor and carried her over to the bed where he lay her down. He sat beside Tifa and kissed her again, letting his hand find its way beneath the skirt of her kimono.

Tifa writhed at his touch. Vincent somehow always seemed to know how to do things perfectly. He moved to hover over her on all fours, never losing contact with his hand. He kissed her face and neck, and then moved lower.

After being with Cloud for so long, Tifa never would have imagined that such pleasure was possible. Vincent brought her to the edge quickly, but wouldn't yet let her have final satisfaction. Whenever he would feel her tense and get close, he would break of his contact with her momentarily until she calmed again. He managed to keep her teetering on the brink of gratification for over an hour. When he finally did let her come, it was with enough force as to cause Tifa to cry out. 

Having received his own satisfaction in her release, Vincent lay down at her side and draped an arm across her. "I hope no one else is here, or they would have heard that."

Tifa blushed through her exertion. "Who cares?"

He knew that she really was spent from his actions in order to answer like that. Vincent was pleased with having made her feel so good. He continued gazing at her until they both fell asleep.

***

Vincent dreamt. He was walking down a city street in his old Turk suit. He neared an open-air coffee shop, and spotted Tseng sitting amongst the empty tables, sipping a cup of coffee. There was a magazine resting on the table before him that he was apparently reading. As Vincent continued to walk closer, Tseng looked up and acknowledged him. "Tsuvati, come sit."

Vincent did as ordered. In his dream he was confused with how Tseng could be here. "You're dead…"

Tseng laughed. "I know."

"Am I dreaming?" Vincent asked, already knowing the answer.

"Of course you are." Tseng set his cup on the table. "But I'm really here for the moment."

Vincent felt tears burn in his eyes. "I wish you were still alive. I miss you."

Tseng reached out and patted one of Vincent's hands. "Don't be upset. I'm okay, I really am."

"I just feel horrible for having killed you." Vincent still tried to keep the tears from falling.

Tseng smiled again. "You didn't kill me, it was Chaos. Still, I want you to know that I'm all right. This isn't bad at all. Nothing hurts, I can run forever and my heart doesn't bother me. What more could anyone ever ask for?"

"I don't know what I'm going to do without you." Vincent wiped a tear away with the back of his hand. It was only at that moment that he realized that his hand was _human._

Seeing Vincent's expression, Tseng spoke, "We're all whole up here, Tsuvati."

Vincent was confused. "I'm dead?"

"No," Tseng laughed again. "You're very much alive, but I pulled some strings to let you come see me."

He still couldn't quite understand. Vincent stared into his brother's face, realizing that he no longer looked like the fifty-seven year old he had been at death, rather he appeared as he had when in his early thirties. 

Tseng went on. "And as for what you're going to do without me, you're going to just have to find out. I can tell you that everything is going to work out fine. Tifa is going to take good care of you."

Vincent's expression went blank. "I'm going to get a normal body? Quigley's scheme is going to work?"

"I can't tell you, that would be cheating, but I can tell you that you will find happiness." Tseng suddenly looked thoughtful. "Oh, and our family all asked me to say hello."

"Where are they?" Vincent looked around. 

"In the life-stream. This is just a vision made up for your benefit." Tseng sighed. "Once you get here, you'll understand. Just rest assured that we will all be together again."

Vincent felt new tears in his eyes, but not of sadness. "I believe you."

"As well you should, since I've already made the trip over. Oh, and thank you for the funeral service, it was very well done." Tseng stood up. "It's time for you to go now."

"Will I see you again before I pass on?" Vincent asked, not wanting to leave his brother's company yet.

"Yes, we will have this chance to talk one more time during your life." Tseng smiled down at him. "For now though, you need to go live your life."

***

Vincent opened his eyes to find himself back in his aunt's house. Tifa was standing next to him, shaking him gently. She had gotten out of her kimono and make up, and stood there in her street clothes. "Wake up, Vincent. You've been dreaming."

Vincent sat up and ran a hand through his hair. "Yeah."

"It's time for dinner. Everyone is here and Yokazi just knocked on the door. She wants us to come out." She held out a hand to help him up.

Vincent got out of bed and removed the suit he was still wearing from the funeral. He donned a pair of jeans and a long sleeve shirt. They opened the door and stepped out into the family room to find it filled with people.


	52. 188 Considerations

Guilt's Cost: Part CLXXXVIII

Considerations

By Kristen Gupton-Williams

Vincent and Tifa sat through dinner quietly, still both feeling drained from the events of the day. When the meal was for the most part over, Cid's son began to cry and Tifa got up from the table and took the baby outside. As she stood alone in the night air cradling the infant to her, she heard someone step out onto the porch behind her. She turned to find Cid leaning against the wall watching her.

"Giving you any trouble?" he asked, smiling.

"No, I just thought you could use a break, plus I wanted to get out of there for awhile," Tifa admitted, still rocking the child in her arms.

Cid sighed and straightened up, taking a few steps toward her. He looked down at her, holding the baby. "You know, when you get one of those someday, you're gonna do great."

Tifa felt a bittersweet sting in her heart, knowing that it would be a long shot for her to have a child with Vincent. "I hope I get the chance."

Cid shrugged slightly, knowing what was on her mind. "Everything's gonna be fine, Tifa. Whatever it is that they've got planned for Sunshine will work, and he'll be able to help you make one of those things."

She smiled up at him, his encouraging words touching. "Thanks Cid."

"Sure." He became uncomfortable, and scratched the back of his head. "If something were to go awry though, you know, I always could, you know…"

Tifa caught the gist of what he was trying to say. The thought of having a child with Cid did appeal to some part of her, assuming that it became her only option. "You'd do that for me?"

He flushed with embarrassment. "Well of course I would. Hell, we've all been through a lot together and I think we all know one another pretty well. I think you and Sunshine would be good enough parents to earn the privilege of raising a kid of mine. This one turned out pretty good, right?"

Tifa had to admit the baby boy that she was holding was about the cutest she'd seen. "He's great. I just somehow can't see the mighty Cid Highwind going into a sperm bank to donate."

He scoffed. "Oh, of course you'd want to do it that way…"

She outright laughed, "Cid!"

"Yeah, yeah, I know." He couldn't help but chuckle to himself. "Vinny probably wouldn't approve of us makin' one of those things the old fashioned way, huh?"

"No, I most certainly wouldn't." 

They both turned to see Vincent standing in the doorway.

Cid's discomfort immediately returned twofold. "Uh, hey."

Vincent winked at Tifa. "You'd really lower yourself to having one of his kids?"

She smiled. "Aw, wouldn't you like to have a little Highwind?"

Vincent rolled his eyes. "No."

"Shows how much you know." Cid folded his arms across his chest. "But it ain't gonna come to that, cause you're gonna have your stupid procedure and get a normal body so that you can knock her up yourself."

Vincent cocked an eyebrow. "If that is what I have to do in order to prevent myself from having to raise _your _kid, then so be it."

Tifa looked at the two men, touched that they could be joking so casually about such a thing. She knew very well that the same conversation less than a year ago would have resulted in one or both of them dead.

Both men grew silent after a moment, realizing that they were being stared at. They turned to Tifa, finding her looking back at them with an odd expression.

Cid somehow felt that he needed to skip out of the conversation and so went to Tifa to get his son, who was by now asleep.

Tifa handed him the infant and smiled. "Thanks, Cid."

He took his boy and grinned back at her. "Anytime."

Vincent moved so Cid could get by him and back into the house. He then came to Tifa's side and placed an arm around her shoulders. "If things don't go well, and I can't give you the child that you want, I honestly wouldn't mind if you took his offer."

Tifa rested her head against his shoulder and sighed. "It isn't going to come to that, Vincent. We're going to be okay, and we'll have a kid of our own."

Her confidence was touching and he stared into her eyes. "Do you really think I'm going to be decent as a father?"

She laughed, "Vincent, I think you'll do just fine."

"I've never even held a baby, you know." He looked off into the distance.

Tifa thought back and realized that he never had touched Cid's son. "Why haven't you ever picked up little Cid?"

He shrugged. "I just don't feel comfortable, besides, I think that babies in general wouldn't be particularly comforted in the mechanical arms of a cybernetic machine."

Tifa had never thought about that. "I think the intent of whoever is holding them is more important than what the arms look like that are around them."

"Maybe, but somehow I'm afraid that I would hurt something that small." One of the corners of his mouth pulled down in an awkward frown.

"I _know _that you can be very gentle with your touch." She turned to put her arms around his waist.

He looked down at her, his frown fading and one of his eyebrows raising again. "Well, yeah…"

"Vincent, you haven't really said anything since Angel told you that she was pregnant this morning." Tifa locked gazes with him. Whatever it was that he was holding in, she knew that he had to vent.

He bit his bottom lip for a moment, trying to think of something to say on the matter. "If she's happy, then so am I."

"You're going to be a grandfather." Tifa sighed.

"That just doesn't seem right." Vincent held her closer. "And once we have our own kids, isn't it going to be weird that they are going to be younger than this grandbaby?"

"A little, but would you really expect our family to be normal?" she replied jokingly.

"No, not really." Vincent sighed. "Reno as a dad though, that scares me."

Tifa giggled. "That will definitely be something to see."

Vincent didn't really want to dwell on Reno's parentage. "Would you like to go for a walk?"

"Okay." Tifa stepped back from him and took one of his hands.

They walked through the darkened town together. Both of them couldn't help but think of the night they had last walked through Wutai like this, the night Vincent had intended to ask her to marry him. Tifa stopped as they found themselves on the bridge where he had dropped to his knee, right before they had been accosted by Yuffie's husband.

Vincent looked at her and knit his brow, seeing that something was wrong. "What?"

She shrugged. "Just thinking about that night, you know."

"Oh." He looked over the edge of the bridge, down at the withered stream below. 

Tifa clenched her teeth, debating whether or not she should say what she was thinking, but decided that she had nothing to lose. She looked up to the stars. "Once, when Cloud and I were younger, he made me a promise, that if I ever needed help, he would be there, no matter what."

Vincent narrowed his eyes, wondering where this was coming from. 

She went on, not having expected an answer from him. "I know this is corny, but he made that promise to the stars. Vincent, now I want you to make me a promise, just like he did."

Still, Vincent didn't respond.

"Promise me, promise to all the stars in the sky, that you'll survive what Quigley has in store for you. If you do that, then you'll _have_ to live in order not to break that promise." Tifa continued to gaze up at the sky.

Vincent was quiet for a minute longer. As she had herself admitted, this was corny, but somehow he knew that he had to do it in order to make her happy. He walked up behind her and placed his arms around her and whispered into her ear, "Tifa, I swear to you and the entire Universe, that I will survive."

She let the tears of trepidation she held about the procedure come, and she turned in his embrace. "Thanks."

He held her tightly, and placed his cheek against the top of her head. "I already have it on good authority that everything will turn out all right."

Tifa moved so that she could look up at him. "What?"

"Tseng told me that everything is going to be fine." Vincent was obviously feeling strange about relaying this to her. "When I was asleep this afternoon, I had a dream… except, it was more than a dream. I saw Tseng, and he told me that everything was going to work out for the best; that we didn't have anything to worry about."

Vincent never discussed his dreams with her, so she knew that this must have been important. "Really?"

He smiled faintly. "Yes."

She retook his hand in hers and they started walking again. Vincent led her to the place where Tseng had been buried earlier that day. They walked silently through the cemetery, until they reached the Vatasi family plot. Although Tifa wasn't able to read the headstones as they were written in Wutain, she spotted where Tseng had been lain to rest by the freshly disturbed soil that covered his place.

Vincent knelt down on the ground before his brother's grave. He pointed to the left. "That is our father, and on his right is my mother, and on his left is Tseng's mother."

Tifa sat on the ground next to him. "Is this where you want to be someday?"

Vincent hadn't ever really thought about it. "I want to be put wherever you are."

"I like it here." Tifa also, had never given any thought to her final resting-place. "This would be fine with me."

"What about where the rest of your family is buried?" Vincent asked.

"Well, they were all cremated, so there isn't anywhere, really." Tifa thought back on when she had taken the ashes of both her parents to Mount Nibel and spread them on the wind. "Let's just be put here, together."

"I guess that means that we need to make a will, then." Vincent sighed, never having been very good at document preparation, but then again, that's what lawyers were for. "I'm sure there's an attorney working for ASRIO somewhere."

Tifa smiled. "God, we sound like such adults, huh?"

"Well, I guess we had to grow up sometime." Vincent smirked.

The stillness of the night air was broken when the cell phone in Vincent's pocket went off, causing them both to jump. He pulled it out and flipped it open. "Hello?"

"Hey, where the hell you at?" the voice on the other end cracked.

"Out for a walk." Vincent frowned. "What do you want, Reno?"

"Just giving you the heads up. We're going back in the morning, so I don't want the two of you wandering off too far." Reno answered, drunk from his night out with the boys.

Vincent wasn't opposed to getting out of Wutai quickly, as being here just kept him thinking about his brother. Then again, being at the ASRIO base wasn't going to be particularly memory free either. "All right, we'll be there."

***

By early morning the airship was ready to go and everyone was on board. Reno did a head count, making sure everyone was accounted for. He was hungover from his night of partying with Rude and the others, and managed to make everyone around him miserable.

Vincent and Tifa retreated to the cabin that they had shared on previous trips on this ship, not feeling like being exposed to Reno's elevated cursing and negativity. After a short while on the ship, and knock came to their door.

Vincent answered, to find Jaras and Jeanine on the other side. "Hey, come on in."

Tifa smiled upon seeing their guests. "What's up?"

Jaras sat on the small couch with Jeanine landing at his side. "We had nothing else to do, this isn't a very exciting ship."

"I'll give you that." Tifa replied, sitting on the edge of the bed.

Vincent came and sat beside her. "So, will you two be going back to Mideel once we get to the base?"

Jaras shrugged. "I guess so. Reno seems eager to get rid of me."

Vincent couldn't help but smile. "At the moment, I think Reno is eager to get rid of everyone."

"Being hungover has really brought out the best in him, I see." Jeanine replied.

As Vincent looked on at the two of them, he noticed that Jaras was _holding _Jeanine's hand. He found himself staring.

Tifa followed her husband's gaze and noticed as well. She nudged Vincent in the side to break him out of his trance.

Vincent shook himself of out of his daze and tried to restart the conversation. "So, what are the plans for you back home?"

Jaras smiled, knowing that his grip on Jeanine had been noticed. "Get my store in order and help Jeanine get her psychiatric office set up. She's going to set up in Mideel permanently."

"Oh, that's very good." Vincent replied, pleased to see that Jaras was going to have some real companionship.

Tifa was excited to hear this. "That's great!"

Jeanine smiled. "I guess the people of Mideel need just as much help as anyone anywhere else. There are enough crazy people there to keep me in business, I think."

Jaras laughed. "At the very least, she'll be able to convince anyone who thinks that I'm Sephiroth that they're having delusions."

"That could be useful." Vincent smiled.

Jeanine leaned forward. "Vincent, in light of the fact that I'll be heading back to Mideel shortly, I thought maybe we could talk again today."

Vincent glanced over at Tifa, but saw that she wasn't going to get him out of it. "Okay, sure."

Jeanine looked at Tifa. "You don't mind, do you?"

She smiled widely. "Of course I don't mind!"

"Good, shall we?" Jeanine got up from the couch and walked toward the door.

Vincent rose as well and followed her out and to the cabin that she and Jaras were sharing.

With Vincent and Jeanine out of the room, Tifa looked at Jaras. "So, what's going on with you and Jeanine?"

"Well, after the funeral and dinner last night, she and I sat up late talking. We sort of both admitted that we liked each other on a level more than friendship and decided that maybe we could give this relationship thing a chance. We're going to take things really slow."

Tifa was giddy to hear this. "I'm so happy for you!"

"Well, it's about time that I had someone like her in my life, I suppose. Seven years is a long time to be alone, and honestly, even when I was that other person, I didn't have any relationships to speak of." Jaras shuddered as the memories of Sephiroth's life passed through him.

Tifa couldn't imagine Sephiroth having any sort of long-term companion. "Well, I'm happy for you."

"Thanks." Jaras sank further into the couch; himself still a little overwhelmed by what was happening between Jeanine and he. "I'm happy too."

***

Vincent landed on the bed in Jeanine's room, laying back in the typical therapy pose. She sat on the couch and pulled her notebook from the coffee table, opening it to the page where she had made some earlier notes on Vincent.

Jeanine cleared her throat. "Before we start, I just want to say that you did a marvelous job yesterday."

Vincent wasn't all that impressed with his performance at the funeral, but appreciated the compliment. "Thank you."

"Now, have you thought anymore about what we spoke about the other day?" Jeanine asked, watching his reaction.

He remained relaxed, and answered. "I have, and I think that I'm doing better."

"Good." She could tell from his lack of tension that he was, in fact, better off than he had been the other day. "What is the biggest concern you have now?"

"Getting through the procedure that Quigley is planning for me." Vincent steepled his fingers above his chest.

"And that is getting the new body, correct?" she asked, already knowing the answer.

"Yes." Vincent frowned. "I know Tifa is very worried about my survival."

"She is aware of the risks involved. It's natural for her to be concerned, she loves you." Jeanine replied, writing something down.

Vincent raised his eyebrows. "I suppose so."

She caught his tone. "Do you still find it hard to believe that she loves you?"

"After all that I have done in the past, and how I have at times acted, I wonder what she sees in me." He let his hands fall back to his sides.

"Don't you think the fact that she is with you despite those things proves that she cares about you very deeply?" Jeanine looked up from the paper, watching for his reaction.

"Put that way, I suppose it does. If she didn't, surely she would have run away by now." Vincent let the frown fade.

"Right." Jeanine smiled. "So, knowing that she does truly care for you, she is justified in her fears."

"Yes, she is." Vincent smiled for a moment. "She even made me promise to her before the entire known Universe that I will live through the procedure."

"She's looking for any sort of reassurance that she can get." Jeanine again wrote something.

"But what if something does happen, and I don't make it? I'm not saying that I have any doubts that I will make it, but if I didn't, I'm afraid that she'd be mad at me for lying." Vincent knit his brow.

"She would be angry if you died, no matter what happened. It is a normal part of the grieving process." Jeanine sighed. "She wouldn't truly be angry with you, though."

"That's true." Vincent closed his eyes. "I guess I just feel like I'd be letting her down."

"Of course."

"But again, I'm not going to die." Vincent opened his eyes and looked over at her. "I know I'll make it."

"And that confidence is going to help you through this." She set her pen down. "Just reassure her as much as you can, and see to it that every aspect of the procedure is explained to her so that she doesn't feel left out in any way."

"I'll make sure that they let her know everything." Vincent tensed his jaw for a moment, and grew quiet.

Jeanine immediately saw that there was something bothering him. "What is it?"

"Would you think it wrong of me to tell Tifa that it's all right with me if she allows another man to father a child for her if I don't come out of this being able to do so?" Vincent asked, feeling redness come to his cheeks.

Jeanine looked thoughtful for a moment. "I think that is very giving of you to say that. It's not easy for most men to consider raising a child that isn't biologically theirs."

"I just know that having kids is something that is really important to her, and her best friend made the offer last night to donate, if you will, for the cause. It didn't bother me to hear that as much as I thought it would." Vincent again began to fidget with his hands over his chest.

"That is a sign of maturity. You are so oriented on her happiness as to allow another man to father her children. You would however, be the true father to that baby as you would be the one raising it. That is the most important role a man has in fatherhood. Donating the appropriate gametes to create a child does not a father make." Jeanine smiled at her own use of words.

This was honestly the first time Vincent had ever heard the word 'gametes' from anyone other than Hojo, and he shuddered.

She saw his reaction. "Something wrong?"

"You just used a word that someone else used to say." Vincent admitted.

"From your reaction, I take it you don't like this person?" she asked.

"No, I didn't." Vincent raised both his arms, allowing the sleeves to his shirt to fall back, exposing his mechanical arms. "He's the one that did this to me."

Jeanine was well versed enough in past events, courtesy of Jaras, to know that Vincent was speaking about Hojo. "Yes, the mad scientist. I'm sorry to have brought that memory up, it wasn't my intent."

"I know, it's all right. What's done is done, and he's gone now." Vincent's arms came back down to rest upon his stomach.

"So you have come to terms with all that happened to you at his hands?" Jeanine asked, knowing that she was possibly leading Vincent into some very uncomfortable areas.

"More or less. I spent several years of my life wallowing in my misery over what he did to me, only to end up realizing that it wasn't as bad as it could have been. He managed to show me that the second time he caught up with me. Now, I'm simply happy to have escaped with my life, and after I get my new body, this will all be corrected." Vincent closed his eyes again.

"You know, I think you are a lot more in control and mature than you give yourself credit for." Jeanine smiled.

He opened one eye and glanced at her. "Maybe."


	53. 189 Trying

Guilt's Cost: Part CLXXXIX

Trying

By Kristen Gupton-Williams

So, my goal was to get this done before surgery, but that isn't looking like it's going to happen, since it's now Sunday morning and my surgery is tomorrow. The good news is that during my recovery, I'll get 2 weeks off of work, so I can get more written. Boy, than makes it all worth it, huh?

After his session with Jeanine, Vincent wanted to be alone for awhile, so he could think about what had been said. He headed up to the open deck of the ship, to take his usual perch overlooking the rail at the scenery below. Once there, he discovered to his dismay that Reno was already there, staring out into space. Vincent's first instinct was to slip back below deck and find somewhere else to ruminate but before he managed to turn around, Reno noticed him.

Reno looked back over his shoulder and saw Vincent standing by the stairway. "Out in the daylight, huh? I guess what they say about you guys turning into dust is a lie."

Vincent cocked an eyebrow, more than fed up with Reno's constant vampire comments. He decided on the better part of valor and didn't reply as he really wanted to. "Reno."

"So, where's Tifa?" Reno asked, pulling a silver flask from beneath his jacket.

"In our room." Vincent watched as Reno proceeded to drink. "Isn't it a little early for that?"

"Takes the edge off my hangover." Reno held the flask out toward Vincent.

In a move that surprised himself, Vincent actually accepted it. He brought it up to his nose for a moment, to see what was inside. The unmistakable smell of saki hit him. "Souvenir?"

"Hey, I might not like Wutai, but your people do know how to make some right fine liquor." Reno smiled, watching as Vincent took a small sip.

Vincent handed him back the flask and leaned against the rail, waiting for the initial burn of his drink to fade. "Actually, I wanted to talk to you anyway."

Reno tucked the flask back away and also leaned against the rail. "Yeah?"

"Yes," Vincent sighed, "I just wanted to let you know that I'm happy for you and Angel. I think that you'll make a good father."

Reno knit his brow, waiting for the punch line to Vincent's joke. "Oh really?"

Vincent could tell that Reno didn't think he was being serious. "I'm not screwing with you, Reno. It's what I really think."

"Oh," Reno dropped his gaze. These occasional serious moments with Vincent were still not quite something he knew how to deal with. "Thanks."

Vincent smirked. "If Cid can do it, then you can too, I suppose."

"See!" Reno pointed an accusatory finger. "You are just messing with me."

Vincent hung his head, knowing that on some level, Reno would never learn how to trust or understand him. "Oh Reno…"

He let his arm fall back to his side and shrugged. "Well, at least I got a girl like Angel to keep me in line."

"True." Vincent smiled to himself. "So, were you guys trying or what?"

"Well, we weren't _not _trying, if you catch my drift." Reno grinned. "I just didn't think much about the possibility myself, but when she told me, I sort of…"

"What?" Vincent's curiosity got the better of him.

"I passed out," Reno admitted, flushing red.

Vincent laughed. "Seriously?"

Reno just nodded.

"Oh, that makes it all worth it." Vincent continued to be amused.

They both turned when they heard someone behind them. Angel and Tifa were standing behind them, giggling to themselves.

Reno feigned anger. "How long you two been standing there?"

"Long enough." Angel grinned widely.

Tifa came up and put an arm around Vincent. "You two were playing nice, that's so cute."

Vincent sneered momentarily, not liking being characterized as 'cute'. "We don't always try to kill each other, you know."

"Yeah, Vinny hasn't honestly made an effort to murder me now in a few weeks." Reno laughed.

"Don't tempt me." Vincent snapped back a little more viciously than he had intended.

Tifa sighed. "You know, I'm starting to think that this whole animosity thing between you two is just a show you put on for us. Every time we've caught you two alone, you've been civil."

Vincent smirked and looked down at her. "I assure you, we aren't acting."

Angel stepped up and leaned against her husband. "You have to admit, the both of you have gotten to be a lot nice to each other."

"Yeah, and you and Cid get along now, too," Tifa added.

"But Cid and Reno still don't seem particularly fond of one another," Angel said.

"Well, if we can get Vincent to get along with the two of them, maybe there's hope for Reno and Cid yet." Tifa laughed.

"Don't get any weird notions." Reno crossed his arms over his chest. "Me and Cid have got some issues."

"I think you're both simply too strong headed." Angel flipped her hair over her shoulder.

"Yeah, type A personalities." Tifa scoffed.

"A as in 'ass'," Vincent interjected.

"Yeah, haha." Reno rolled his eyes. "You know, this was a good place to hang out before the girly birds decided to pop up."

"Come to think of it, they are trying to antagonize us, aren't they?" Vincent narrowed his eyes.

"I think they like to see us fight, Vince." Reno knit his brow, as he attempted to look insightful.

"I think you're right." Vincent looked down at Tifa.

She stomped her foot. "We do not try and get you to fight!"

Vincent cocked an eyebrow at her.

"Don't look at me like that!" Tifa took a step back from him.

"Come on, Tifa." Angel started back toward the stairs. "I don't think the boys want to play with us right now."

Vincent and Reno remained where they stood as the women retreated. Once they were gone, the two men looked at each other and smiled widely.

***

Cid sat in the captain's chair on the airship. With his son sleeping in his arms, he gave orders and piloted the ship. The ship's true pilot had given up trying to defend his post against the older and overbearing man. The crew somehow didn't seem to mind taking Cid's orders as he truly did seem in control and sure of what he was doing. They were also at ease, as Cid wasn't screaming at them like he had before, since the sleeping child kept his tone to more of a growl.

When one of the alert lights for a minor problem came on, Cid scowled and hit the com button for the engine room. "What's going on?"

A woman's voice replied. "God damned relay problem. I've got it taken care of."

Cid instantly rolled his eyes. _A woman in the engine room? No wonder this piece of shit doesn't run right. _"I'm coming down there."

"No need for that, Mr. Highwind," she shot back, then letting go of the com button.

"Oh to hell with that." Cid got up from his seat and started down to the engine room.

Once there, he strolled through the door, to find the lower half of the woman he had been speaking with sticking out from under the control panel. The legs to her jumpsuit were grease stained and tattered, as she obviously didn't put much effort into her fashion statements.

He went over and kicked the bottom of one of her boots. "Get out here."

Clearly annoyed, she threw down the pair of pliers that were in her right hand and pulled herself out from under the console. The middle aged woman had shoulder length brown hair that was pulled up into a messy bun, and her face was just as grease streaked as her jumpsuit. She looked up at him with angry blue eyes. "I'm fixing the damn problem, what do you want?"

Cid was speechless for a moment as he looked down at her, not having expected a female mechanic to be so attractive, despite her current dirty state. "I… I just wanted to make sure everything was all right down here."

She sighed and got up from the floor, wiping her hands off on her outfit. She scrutinized him for a moment. "So you're the bastard that keeps commandeering the ship, huh?"

"Cid Highwind, at your service." He smiled slightly.

She didn't seem particularly impressed. "Yeah, great. I've heard you're a real pain in the ass."

Although Cid's initial reaction to such a comment would have been a torrent of obscenities, he for some reason didn't get mad at all. "I just run a tight ship, that's all."

"Huh," she extended a hand. "Jin Schaefer, head flight mechanic."

He took her hand and was impressed with the strength of her grip. "Good to meet you."

Jin noticed the sleeping baby in his arms. "So what, this yours?"

"Yeah, he is." Cid looked down at his son.

"So, you're married then?" she asked, taking a step closer to look at the kid.

Cid cleared his throat, "No, my wife has passed away."

She cocked an eyebrow. "Really? I'm sorry to hear that."

"Well, you know…" Cid shrugged. "We're getting by."

"Ass or not, you are a legend." She smiled to him. "I'd sure like to hear some of your stories sometime."

Cid wasn't sure, but he thought he had just been asked out. He wasn't sure how to respond for a moment. "Okay."

"Good." She turned back to the console she had been working on. "I get off in three hours. Come by and we'll go to the mess hall and get something to eat. My room is directly across the corridor."

Cid's normally controlling attitude faltered as he agreed to her order. "All right."

"Now, go run your ship before one of those idiot co-pilots fly us into a mountain or something." She got back on the floor and slid back up under the console.

Cid was speechless as he turned and walked back up to the bridge.

Along the way, he ran into Tifa and Angel. He grabbed Tifa by the arm and pulled her aside, not wanting Angel to hear anything. "I've got a favor to ask."

Tifa smiled at him. "Sure, anything!"

"Good." He lowered his voice further. "I was wondering if you'd be willing to watch the kid for a while tonight."

"Yeah, why?" Tifa was curious what was going on.

Cid turned a little red. "I'm going to have dinner with the flight mechanic."

Angel, although a little ways off, heard perfectly what Cid had said. "You're going out with Jingles?"

"Jingles?" Cid turned and cocked an eyebrow.

"Yeah, Jingles." Angel grinned widely. "That's what everyone calls her, just to piss her off."

"Well I ain't looking to piss her off, I think I'll stick to calling her Jin," Cid shot back.

Tifa brought her hands together. "You're going on a date?"

"She just wants to hear some of my stories, that's all." Cid didn't want anyone making a big deal out of it.

"Wow, she's a real bitch most of the time," Angel said, mostly to herself.

"She seemed just fine to me." Cid turned back to Tifa.

"Well, you can count on me watching the baby for you." Tifa smiled. "Vincent and I don't have any other plans."

"Good." Cid started to walk away, not wanting to discuss the situation further. "I'll bring the kid by in a few hours."

***

Exactly three hours later, a knock came to Tifa and Vincent's room door. Tifa flew over from the couch and answered, finding Cid there. "Hi!"

"Hi yourself." Cid held out the baby. "He's yours for the evening."

Tifa took the child, and then grabbed the bag full of supplies that Cid had also brought. "Take as much time as you want. We'll have a good time here."

"Yeah, sure." Cid ran a hand through his hair. "Thanks."

Tifa looked at Cid closely and took notice of the fact that he had actually shaved and put on a different shirt than he had been wearing earlier. "You look nice."

Cid scoffed, but did appreciate her compliment. "I figured I might as well make the best of this."

Tifa picked up on the hint of sadness in his voice. "Are you okay?"

He shrugged. "Yeah, just thinkin' about Shera, you know."

"Oh," Tifa felt her smile fade, "she would want you to be happy. I don't think she'll mind."

"I know, but it hasn't been very long." Cid dropped his gaze to the floor.

"Hey, just go have a good time and see what happens, okay?" Tifa really did want Cid to go through with this; she knew he needed it.

"All right." Cid turned to go. "See you later."

"Bye." Tifa closed the door and turned to Vincent. "Our visitor is here."

Vincent looked up from the book in his hands. "How long do we have him?"

"I don't know. Cid's going on a date." Tifa came and sat beside him.

"Well, that shouldn't last very long." Vincent placed his book down.

"Actually, from what Angel told me, this woman he's going to go out with sounds like a female version of him. She's supposed to be a real hard ass, if you'll pardon the expression." Tifa giggled to herself, as she arranged the baby into a comfortable position.

"Then they will either love each other or kill each other," Vincent said, sounding serious.

"Right." Tifa sighed. "But it will be good for him."

Vincent didn't answer, and just stared at her for a few moments, watching her play with the baby in her arms.

Tifa took notice of his gaze and looked over at him. "You want to try?"

"What?" 

"Do you want to hold him?" Tifa asked, already moving to hand the baby over to him.

Vincent didn't move at all. "I don't know."

"Come on!" Tifa scooted closer. "You're going to have to learn how to do this sooner or later."

Vincent knew that he wasn't going to get out of this, no matter how much he wanted to. Reluctantly, he outstretched his arms. "Fine."

Tifa carefully handed over the baby, herself feeling a little hesitant about giving the infant over. "Just move slowly."

Obviously uncomfortable, Vincent pulled the child in close to his chest and looked down at his tiny body. "He doesn't weigh very much."

"Of course not." Tifa sat back to watch and see how Vincent handled this. "See, it's not that bad."

"I suppose not." Vincent wasn't sure what he should do. He looked over at Tifa, searching for some help.

"Just sit back and relax. You won't break him." Tifa smiled.

Vincent did as ordered, and leaned back, continuing to hold the baby to him. He fully expected the infant to begin crying at any moment, but he didn't.

"I think he likes you just fine." Tifa looked on as one of the baby's tiny hands came up to try and touch Vincent's face.

He sat still, allowing the infant to reach out and touch him. He feared moving at all, afraid that he might do something wrong. How he was ever going to learn to deal with this and help Tifa raise children was beyond him.

***

Cid got to Jin's door and stood, paralyzed with fear and guilt. Part of him was eager to do this, but there was still a large part of him that felt that Shera hadn't been gone long enough to be going out with another woman. Before he got the chance to walk away and escape, the door opened and Jin stood there, staring at him. She had showered, and all the hints of grease and dirt were gone from her face and hands. Her work jumpsuit had been replaced with a knee length black skirt and a purple blouse. "Weren't you going to knock at some point?"

"Yeah, I just got here," Cid lied, trying to cover his feelings.

She looked at him and cocked an eyebrow. It was clear that something wasn't right with him, and she had an idea of what it was. "Too soon, huh?"

Cid hung his head, ashamed to admit the truth. "Yes."

"It's okay, I'm not going to try and have a one nighter with you or anything. All we have to do is go eat and talk." Jin stepped out into the corridor and shut the door behind her.

Cid smiled at her words. "I can handle that."

They went up and got their food, sitting together at a small table in the mess hall. For a while, they ate in silence, but when the food was gone, Jin asked, "So, tell me about space flight."

Cid pushed back his plate. "It was my dream for a long time, and when Shin-Ra set me up to work on the space program, I was thrilled. When my flight time finally came, I had to abort the mission, and so I didn't get the chance really to do much."

"Why did you have to cancel the flight?" she asked, not knowing.

"God damned Shera was in the engine room. I had to power down, otherwise she would have been fried…" Cid's voice trailed off, as Shera's memory came back to him.

From his reaction, Jin knew that the woman in question had been his wife. "Shit, looks like I just pulled you into the sort of conversation you wanted to avoid."

"It's not your fault." Cid frowned slightly. "I'm sorry, I'm afraid I'm not much fun."

"I bet you can be." She smiled. "What would you rather talk about?"

"Why don't you tell me how you got into this line of business? There aren't too many female aircraft mechanics around." Cid leaned back and cocked his head.

"Well, I came from a military family. My father and brothers were all aircraft mechanics and I sort of just went with the flow. I never really wanted to do anything else. I remember just being little and watching my dad work on things and knew that it was my calling too." Jin smiled.

"Yeah, I became a pilot just like my dad. I guess it's in our blood." Cid sighed.

"Can't deny that." She was glad to see that he was getting more comfortable with the situation at hand. "You might have heard of my father, since you've been in the business. His name was Scooner, but everyone called him Scooter."

Cid's eyes went wide with recognition. "You're Scooter's kid? Hot damn, he was one of the instructors at the flight academy I attended. In fact, he taught me most of what I know about engines."

"Really?" Jin grinned. "Small world, huh?"

"Yeah, it is." Cid reciprocated her smile. "What ever happened to the old man?"

"Oh, he retired, and is living in Junon now with my mom," she answered.

"Still around, huh?" Cid crossed his arms over his chest. "He's got to be getting up there."

"Yes he is, but I wouldn't be surprised if he outlives us all." She laughed.


	54. 190 Rat Pack

Guilt's Cost: Part 190

Rat Pack

By Kristen No one understands Roman numerals anyway Gupton-Williams

Several hours later, Cid returned to Tifa and Vincent's room. Before he got the chance to knock more than once, Tifa quickly opened the door and pointed toward the couch. Cid looked in to see Vincent sitting asleep, with the baby still held in his arms.

Cid looked down at Tifa, and cocked an eyebrow. "You let him touch the kid?"

She playfully reached out and hit his arm. "Come on, they've been great. The baby hasn't cried all night."

"Yeah, he's probably too scared." Cid smiled, despite his words.

Tifa let Cid pass inside and then closed the door. She kept her voice low, as to not wake up Vincent. "So, how did it go?"

He shrugged. "We just sat and talked. Turns out I knew her dad."

"Oh," Tifa smiled, "so it went well?"

"All considering, I think so," he sighed. "I would have felt bad to have done anymore than talk."

"I understand." Tifa could see the pain within him. "But do you think that maybe you'll see her again?"

"I don't see why not." Cid shoved his hands into his pockets.

"What's she like?"

"Not afraid of anything." He smiled. "She's married to her job."

"And you wouldn't know anything about that, would you?" Tifa laughed.

His smiled disappeared. "You're funny."

"At least it was good for you to know that there are women out there who are interested." 

"I guess." He looked into her eyes.

Tifa saw something there that at once made her feel somewhat uncomfortable. She gave him a fleeting smile and then went over to Vincent. She reached down and shook him gently. "Cid's here, time to give him back the baby."

Vincent's left eye cracked open slightly, and he held the baby up to her. He was too tired to do anything more.

Tifa took the infant and turned back to Cid. 

Cid saw his bag of baby things sitting on the floor and picked it up before accepting the infant from Tifa. "Thanks."

"Anytime." Tifa's smile returned.

While balancing the baby and bag in his arms, Cid leaned forward and managed to give Tifa a quick kiss on the cheek. "See you tomorrow."

"Okay." She opened the door for him and then closed it once he was gone. She turned back to Vincent, to see that he was asleep again. Tifa went over and knelt before him, placing her hands upon his knees. "Vincent?"

Again, his left eye cracked open. "Huh?"

"Time for bed." 

His eye closed for a moment, and then they both opened. He stretched out of habit, not really needing to with his mechanical body. He slowly got up and then pulled Tifa to her feet. Vincent walked over to the bed and began to shed his clothing.

Tifa soon did the same and they went to bed, quickly falling asleep.

***

In a cabin just down the hall, Jeanine and Jaras were sitting on their respective twin beds talking. When the conversation had turned to his reunion with Vincent and Tifa, Jeanine could tell that there was something that he wasn't telling her. "Jaras, what's wrong?"

He looked away from her, his previous infatuation with Tifa embarrassing him. "For a while, I thought that I was in love with Tifa, even though she was to be married to my father."

Jeanine wasn't the jealous type, and smiled. "Really?"

"Yes." Jaras was happy that she hadn't flown off the handle at his confession. "I know now that I was just feeling attached to her, since she was the only female that I had ever met for whom I held some memory. I'm over it now though, I assure you."

Jeanine nodded; knowing that his take on the situation was probably accurate. "At least you didn't do anything like stop their wedding."

Jaras at once turned red, remembering how he had _almost_ done just that. There were also his drunken statements to Tifa following the ceremony that he thought of. "No, I didn't go that far. Besides, now I know that I wasn't in love with her anyway. You have to know someone a long time before you can truly fall in love with them. I had only known her for a matter of a few weeks. Like I said, it was just some stupid infatuation."

She was touched by the genuine innocence he was showing in regards to his feelings and relationships. "Well, I hope you're not just going through some fleeting infatuation with me."

"Of course not." Jaras had to smile. "I've known you for years, and I've actually liked you for a long time."

Jeanine blushed a little at his words. Since the day that her father had introduced her to Jaras, she had found him striking and alluring. The fact that he had been Sephiroth was clear to her from the beginning, even though her father never approached the subject with her until recently. Despite his past, she had been attracted to him from day one.

Jaras saw her reaction, and couldn't help himself. He rose from his bed and came to sit at her side. He placed one of his hands beneath her chin and brought it up, soon letting his lips meet hers.

Jeanine didn't protest in the least and gave in. She herself hadn't had much experience with men and felt a little awkward at first, but didn't pull away. When Jaras sat back after a few moments, she just smiled at him.

He looked into her eyes, searching for approval. "You didn't mind that, did you?"

Her smile returned. "No, not at all. I think I need practice though."

"Well, I haven't got anything better to do." He grinned back at her.

Jeanine quickly leaned forward and kissed him again. They didn't leave each other's arms for the rest of the night, and eventually fell asleep together on her small bed.

***

The following day, the airship came back to rest at the ASRIO base and everyone filed off. Brad quickly went and got the helicopter fired up, in order to take Jaras and Jeanine back to Mideel. While Brad prepared the chopper, Tifa, Vincent, Angel, Reno, Jaras, Jeanine, and Cid stood together on the airfield to bid their good-byes.

Jaras looked at his father. "I hope that after your surgery that you and Tifa will come to see us in Mideel."

"We will," Vincent smiled back, despite the fact he wished Jaras would stay.

Tifa smiled at Jeanine. "You keep him in line, all right?"

"That shouldn't be too hard." Jeanine laughed. 

Brad shouted out at them over the helicopter's engine, "Time to go!"

Angel went forward and embraced her brother. "Keep in touch."

"I will." Jaras held her for a moment, and then went over to Vincent and Tifa. He briefly embraced his father, and then did the same to Tifa.

While in his arms, Tifa whispered into his ear, "Good luck with you and Jeanine."

"Thanks." Jaras stepped back and smiled at them. He then went to Cid and outstretched his hand. "Mr. Highwind."

Cid shifted the baby into his left arm and accepted the handshake. "Take care."

Jeanine and Jaras then walked the short distance to the chopper and boarded. Everyone remained in place and watched as it lifted off into the sky.

Reno was the first to break the silence that fell over them. "He still gives me the fuckin' creeps."

Angel slapped him on the arm. "Can you at least try to be nice every once in a while?"

He raised his hands defensively. "I'm sorry, I was sort of programmed to be afraid of him, all right? Nerd or not, he's still scary."

Cid laughed to himself. "I'll second that."

"Oh you guys!" Tifa crossed her arms over her chest. "Honestly."

Quigley, who had run from the airship and into the lab upon landing, came back out onto the airfield and approached them. "Vincent, good news!"

He turned to face the scientist who was, in an uncharacteristic moment, very excited. "What is it?"

Quigley gathered himself. "Okay, so I just went and checked on the stem cells that I had started to culture before we left, and I'm happy to say that they are growing and dividing like mad."

Tifa stepped forward. "So what's that mean?"

"It means that I now have a large enough population of cells to separate. I'll keep some to form the stem cell grafts that he will need to patch into the nervous system of his new body, and the others I can signal to begin differentiating and place in the accelerator." Quigley was ecstatic with his success.

"You can start growing his body?" Tifa asked, knowing that it was a little silly.

"Yes." Quigley pulled a calculator from his pocket and hit some keys on it. "If everything goes well from here on out, I'd say we'll be putting you into your new body in about four months."

Vincent's eyes grew wide. "Four months? That's it?"

"Yeah, go figure, the accelerator is way better than Porter and I had initially hoped. In just the few days we were gone for the funeral, we managed to grow a lab rat to complete maturity within it." Quigley beamed with pride.

Vincent knit his brow. "You're growing rats in my accelerator?"

"You do understand that we had to test it before committing to putting your cells within it." Quigley put his calculator back into his pocket.

"Just wash it before you put my cells in there. I've seen The Fly and I don't want to come out with rat parts." Vincent was only half joking.

"Don't worry, it will be fine." Quigley turned away to go back inside. "Stop by the lab later today. I need to give you another dose of the Chaos drug."

***

A few hours later, Vincent and Tifa left their room and headed down to Quigley's lab as they had been asked to do. They went through the door and found Porter inside along with Quigley, working together over a computer. Porter's dog broke the quiet of the laboratory with a baying bark, alerting his master to the fact that they had visitors.

Quigley got up and smiled. "Just a sec."

They watched as he left the room and then Porter struggled up and came over. "Check this out."

Tifa and Vincent just stared as Porter reached into a coat pocket and pulled out a large white lab rat. 

Tifa immediately giggled and clapped her hands together. "Can I hold it?"

"Sure," he said, passing the rodent to her. "That's what we managed to grow over the last few days. The accelerator is working perfectly."

Vincent wrinkled his nose as he watched Tifa kiss the rat on the head. "That's gross."

Tifa looked up at him, a hurt expression on her face. "No it's not, look, he's so cute!"

Vincent took a step back as Tifa held out the rat toward him. "It's a rat."

"You're scared of it, aren't you?" Tifa asked, growing amused as she perched the animal on her shoulder.

He didn't answer, and simply looked back at Porter. "Don't put another one of those things in my accelerator."

"It's not really yours, you know." Porter smiled, pointing over at the large machine a short distance away. "Quigley and I did build it."

"Look, I don't want my body growing in a vat of rat leavings, okay?" Vincent knit his brow, wishing that he had never been told about the rat in the first place.

Quigley returned, with a syringe in his hands. "Time for your medication. I suppose you don't have an I.V. anymore."

"No, they took that out right after the last dose of that stuff you gave me." Vincent said, growing unhappy with the notion of being subjected to an intravenous injection that would undoubtedly be given into his neck.

"Well then, I guess I have to do it the hard way. Take off your shirt." Quigley came closer.

"Why, aren't you going to give it here?" Vincent asked, pointing to his jugular vein.

"No, I'm sure there's an injection port somewhere inside you. Hojo built them into everything." Quigley sighed.

"You mean to tell me that I've gotten how many shots and intravenous lines shoved into me for no real good reason?" Vincent grew angry. "Even Hojo drew my blood from my neck, why didn't he just use this port if I've in fact got one?"

"Hey, I don't know why that nut did the things he did, but if you'd hurry up and get your shirt off, we could find out whether or not you have the port in question." Quigley knew that Vincent's anger wasn't directed at him.

"Fine." Vincent pulled off his shirt.

Quigley came over and popped open a panel on Vincent's chest. After looking around for a few moments, he found what he was looking for. "There it is. Here goes."

Vincent closed his eyes as Quigley injected him with the drug. For a second he thought that maybe he should have sat down, in light of the fact that he had become dizzy the last time this had been done, but the medication washed over him quickly and he felt no ill effects.

Quigley then turned away and tossed the empty syringe into a wastebasket. "Anyway, Porter and I will be getting your cells in there by tonight. There will be a visible development within a few days for you to see."

Vincent had an odd thought. "If you're growing this body without a brain in the head, what's to keep it the right shape? No offence, but I don't want my brain in some weird shaped skull."

Quigley laughed to himself, more than a little impressed with Vincent's insight. "Of course not. If we didn't have the skull form properly, then we would never be able to fit your brain in there. There will be brain matter in the skull to keep it the proper shape, but we will be altering the DNA of the cells to make sure that what forms isn't functional. We are not going to make a complete functioning human just to kill to give you the body of."

"When you alter the DNA of the brain cells though, you will be doing it in a manner specific enough as to not affect the genetic make up of the rest of my body, right?" Vincent asked, crossing his arms over his chest.

"Right." The scientist fell back into a chair near a computer console. "Don't worry, you're DNA will be intact so that your children will be absolutely normal."

The technicality of all that was going on was a little beyond Vincent's comprehension, but he knew that he had no choice but to trust Quigley on this despite the fact that Hojo had corrupted Vincent's trust in the scientific community long ago. "I'll have to take your word on this. If anything goes wrong though, do know that you will be the first one I come after."

"That's why I'm putting a failsafe inside you so that I can turn you off if you get out of hand," Quigley joked.

Vincent's eyes narrowed. Thanks to his past, he was not amused with such a jest. "Excuse me?"

Quigley at once knew that he had gone too far and raised his hands defensively. "Sorry."

Vincent tensed his jaw, and turned back to Tifa, who was still toying with the rat she had been handed earlier. "Give that thing back so that we may go."

Tifa immediately pouted. "I want to keep him."

"Over my dead body." Vincent started to head for the door.

Tifa walked over to Porter and handed him the rodent. "Keep this in case Vincent dies, okay?"

Porter winked at her and accepted the small animal back. "Sure thing."

Vincent opened the door and mumbled, "not funny."


	55. 191 Heading Home

Guilt's Cost: Part 191

Heading Home

By Kristen Gupton-Williams

Three days passed, and Tifa and Vincent spent most of that time in the hanger with Brad and Cid as they continued to rebuild Cid's plane. They were little more than babysitters for Cid's infant, but they had nothing better to do with their time.

It was a little past noon on the third day when Quigley showed up in the hanger. He had been searching for Vincent for quite a while before finally being tipped off by Reno that he was up in the hanger. He came over to where Vincent was sitting on a workbench. "You're a hard man to keep track of."

Vincent cocked an eyebrow at him but said nothing.

"Anyway," Quigley went on as though Vincent had actually responded, "I came to tell you that there is enough development within the accelerator to see now."

Vincent turned to look at Tifa, who was currently sitting with the sleeping baby in her arms. "Do you want to go?"

She shook her head and whispered back, "No, that's all right. I don't want to wake him up."

"Okay." Vincent slid off the bench and stood up, following the scientist back down into the base.

They went to the lab where the accelerator was and entered. Vincent walked up to it and looked inside. Within, amongst a tangle of wires and tubes, suspended in the blue fluid, was a small pinkish object, shaped something like a lima bean. He scrutinized it for a few moments in silence, before turning to Quigley. "So that's me?"

"Soon enough it will be," he sighed back, shoving his hands into his pockets. "It will grow very quickly from here on out. It'll be more than double its present size within a day or two."

Vincent was impressed, but still couldn't understand how something so unrecognizable was going to be a complete remake of him in just a few short months. "This is amazing."

Quigley was actually glad that Tifa hadn't come, and although obviously uncomfortable, brought up something. "It's not too late to change your mind, you know."

Vincent turned to him, a frown upon his lips. "What?"

"We can still stop." Quigley dropped his gaze, somehow knowing that it wasn't his place to discuss this.

"You've been pretty damned excited about this whole thing from the start. Why are you saying this now?" Vincent was perplexed.

"I am excited. This is a huge project to be a part of, and it's testing my mental steel for all it's worth. It's not right of me to just charge on with this, without knowing whether or not you have any reservations about going through with this." Quigley glanced back up at Vincent momentarily.

"I thought it was fairly obvious that I do want this very badly." Vincent replied, narrowing his eyes.

"So I figured, but we never have really had the chance to talk in private. If you did want to not go through with this for whatever reason, I could always spare you the pain by saying that we have to stop this due to some technical problem. No one would think less of you if that were to happen." 

"I am telling you in no uncertain terms that I do want this to happen." Vincent could see that there was something bothering the scientist deeply. "What are you really thinking?"

"If we go through with this, and you should die in the process, you know, during the surgery, I'd feel horrible." Quigley crossed his arms over his chest and hung his head. "I'd feel like I pushed for this to happen so much that I was blinded to the obvious risk you're facing."

"You'd feel guilty if I were to die?"

"In a word? Yes." Quigley took a few steps away and landed in a chair.

"If I die, then I die, and it's not your fault nor anyone else's." Vincent looked back at the accelerator. "I know the risks, and I am willing to face them. I can't go on living like I am now, Quigley. From the shoulders down I am a machine, and you have no idea what that's like."

"You're right, I don't." He shifted in his seat. "But you're at least alive."

"That's debatable." Vincent turned away from the accelerator. "Until I am human again, _completely_ human, I won't be free of all that Hojo has done to me. I want my body back, and if there are dangers that I must confront along the way, then that is my choice. If I die, I am the one to blame. Not you, not Dr. Arlin, no one else but me."

"Okay, I just had to hear that from you." Quigley rubbed his tired eyes with both hands. "I know that while working at Shinra, although I was there for ASRIO, that I worked on things that involved people dying and suffering. That's what I think about every night before I go to sleep and I hate it."

"Quigley, you have learned some unbelievable things and you have the ability to use that knowledge to combat some of the horrors done by Shinra and Hojo. Think of helping me as the first step." Vincent walked closer to him.

One corner of the scientist's mouth tugged up into a grin. "Okay."

***

After nearly a month of constant work, Cid had his plane back together. Although Cid was by now extremely anxious to get back to Rocket, Tifa was upset to see him go. Part of her had hoped that he and the baby would stay long enough to be there when Vincent underwent his surgery. Now though, as he packed his things, she saw that he was going home, despite the fact that Vincent's surgery still loomed three months away.

She sat on Cid's bed and held the baby as she watched him get ready to leave. He had spent the morning testing the plane by taking it up and landing it several times, making certain that everything was working properly before he took his son onboard. 

As he stuffed his last shirt into his pack, he looked over at Tifa. "Why the long face?"

She shrugged. "I'm just sad that you're going."

"You know that we'll see each other again." He straightened up and came over to her.

"I know…" she tried to keep her composure, but failed.

Cid saw the tears that came to her eyes and sat down beside her. "Aw, come on!"

"I'm sorry." She hung her head, knowing that he didn't like to see her cry. "I just had hoped that you'd be here when Vincent had his surgery, that's all."

"Tifa, that's three months away!" Cid placed an arm around her shoulders. "I can't stay here that long. It's already been long enough for everyone back home to think that I've left for good."

"Yeah." Tifa forced a smile that she wasn't feeling.

"Look though, tell you what." Cid pulled her closer. "How about I promise to come back the day before his surgery, and I'll stay for a few days, or however long it takes before you know that he's gonna be all right?"

"You will?" Tifa's smile became genuine.

"Why not?" Cid winked at her. "Besides, I'll be wanting to see Jin again by then."

Tifa giggled. Cid had gotten into the habit of having dinner with the female mechanic at least three times a week by now. Their relationship seemed to be getting serious.

The door opened, and Vincent entered. He saw Tifa and Cid sitting together, the pilot's arm still draped about her shoulders. He narrowed his eyes at the sight, "Cid, you have a girlfriend of your own now, you know."

Cid smiled and got up, feeling a little awkward at Vincent having walked in. "Yeah, yeah. Not jealous, are you?"

Vincent shook his head. "Why should I be? I'm the one that married Tifa."

"And how did you ever convince her to do such a foolish thing?" Cid shot back, going over and picking up his bags.

"I don't have the slightest idea," Vincent said.

Tifa laughed and got up. She walked to Vincent's side. "Cid said that he will come back for a while when it's time for your surgery."

"You mean I have to put up with him during my last moments before going under? That's great." Vincent's sarcasm was biting.

"I knew you'd be thrilled." Cid smiled, as he pushed past them and out into the hallway.

They all made their way up to the airfield where the plane was waiting. Unfortunately, Jin wasn't around to see Cid off as she had gone with the airship to Gongaga for a mission. He had said his good byes to her the night before though, before she had gone.

Cid tossed his bags into the plane and then turned to Tifa and Vincent. "Well, I guess I'll see you two in a few months then."

"Okay." Tifa went forward and handed the baby over to him. "Take care of him."

"I will." Cid smiled before bending forward and giving Tifa a brief kiss on the cheek. He looked at Vincent. "Take care, old man. Don't give Tifa any trouble."

"I never give anyone any trouble." Vincent smiled faintly.

Cid had other things that he wanted to say to Tifa before going, but couldn't muster up the nerve to do so in front of Vincent. He knew that when he came back, they would have time to talk and so just nodded at them quickly before turning and getting into the plane.

Tifa and Vincent stood back as Cid got settled inside the cockpit and fired up the engines. They waved as he taxied away and then lifted off into the air.


	56. 192 Nanaki

Guilt's Cost: Part 192

Nanaki

By Kristen Gupton-Williams

More time passed, and Tifa and Vincent grew board of being cooped up in the base. They had accompanied Reno and Angel on a few small day trips, but for the most part they had done very little.

One afternoon, Tifa burst into their room after getting a letter in the mail. Vincent was sitting on the couch, and was startled into dropping his book when she ran in squealing.

"Vincent, look!" Tifa said, holding out a photo that had come with the letter in her hands.

He took the picture and looked at it. It was of two small cubs, clearly Nanaki's children. "Two of them, huh?"

"Yes!" Tifa smiled widely. "The letter says that the picture was taken just two days after they were born and that they are doing well. They are a few months old now. Nanaki says that we should visit sometime, and that Barrett and Marlene are still living with them."

Vincent handed the picture back to his wife and shrugged. "I don't see why we can't go see them now. After all, we've still got two months until my surgery and it would help pass some time and get our minds off things."

She clapped her hands together. "Do you really want to go?"

"Sure."

"This is going to be great!" Tifa's excitement was contagious.

Vincent got up from the couch, pleased to have made her so happy. "I'll go ask Reno if we can have Brad fly us there."

"Okay!" She beamed, looking again at the picture in her hands.

Vincent walked from their room and to the main room of the base, where Reno spent most of his time now. He found him sitting in front of a display. When Vincent bothered to look and see what was on the screen, he somehow wasn't surprised to see that Reno was playing a game of solitaire instead of work. "I have a favor to ask."

Reno knit his brow and didn't take his eyes from his game. "Can you come back in maybe five minutes, I'm sort of busy."

"Reno," Vincent wasn't in the mood, "knock it off."

The former Turk rolled his eyes and leaned back in his seat, clearly annoyed at being pulled from his game. "What?"

"I need Brad to fly Tifa and I to Cosmo." Vincent said, leaning against the control panel.

"What the hell for?" Reno crossed his arms over his chest. As far as he was concerned, there was nothing worth going to Cosmo Canyon for.

"Nanaki sent Tifa a letter inviting us to come by." He wasn't about to admit that he wanted to go just to get away from the confines of the base.

"That's that lionish thing, right?" Reno asked, already knowing full well who Nanaki was.

"Right."

"And you want me to waste valuable resources to send you there in my helicopter?" Reno wasn't going to let Vincent off easily.

"Reno, cut the shit." Vincent narrowed his eyes.

Reno hated the way that Vincent looked at him sometimes, and turned away. "I don't fucking care. Go ask Brad."

Vincent sighed and walked away. He knew that Brad would be in the hanger working as always on his helicopter and so went there.

As expected, Brad was tinkering with something in the cockpit of the chopper. He saw Vincent approaching and came out to meet him. "What's up?"

"I need to ask you a favor." Vincent said.

"Okay, shoot." Brad replied, folding his arms across his chest.

"It would mean a lot to Tifa if you could take us to Cosmo Canyon." Vincent tried to sound as pleasant as possible.

"If it's all right with the boss, sure." Brad didn't mind really, any excuse to fly was good enough for him.

"I already asked Reno, and he said it was fine." Vincent smirked.

"I said the boss." Brad grinned back. "That means Angel."

Vincent laughed. "I'm her father, so I think that gives me some authority."

"You'd think." Brad nodded. "Sure, I'll take you guys there. I'm installing a new altimeter right now, but I can take you there in the morning if you like."

"All right, that will be great. I appreciate it." Vincent was pleased.

"Meet me up on the airfield at seven." Brad called out as Vincent started to walk away.

"Sure thing," he called back as he left the hanger.

The following morning, Vincent and Tifa emerged out onto the airfield just as the sun was rising. The winter air bit at them, being driven at them by a slight wind. Brad had the helicopter out of the hanger and waiting for them.

They walked over and got inside.

Before Brad put on his headset and fired up the engines, he looked back at Vincent. "You seem to be taking the whole 'flying' thing a little better these days than you did when you first got here."

Vincent cocked an eyebrow, remembering that he had previously held some hesitation about flying in the helicopter. He had been inside the chopper enough since then though to be over his fears. "You seem to keep it running fine."

Brad smiled and turned away. After a few moments of running the engine, he got them up into the air.

Tifa nestled into Vincent's left side as the vibration of the helicopter relaxed her back into sleep. Vincent wished that he, too, could sleep as easily as she, but it wasn't to be. He looked down at his right hip, seeing that he had brought his Death Penalty out of habit. Whether it was going to be needed or not, there was something comforting in the gun.

It only took until around noon to get to Cosmo Canyon, and Brad set the chopper down at the entrance to the canyon, as it was too narrow within to have taken them further. Despite the season, Cosmo Canyon, being in the desert was considerably warm. Vincent and Tifa had to turn away as the helicopter left, as it blew up a small dust storm. Once it was gone, they started to walk into the canyon, knowing that Nanaki's village lay about a half-mile into it.

The noon sun was able to reach the floor of the canyon that during most of the rest of the day was cast in shadows. When they were about half way to the settlement, Nanaki jumped down before them from a ledge.

Nanaki had been on his midday patrol of the canyon when he had smelled Tifa and Vincent. He strolled over to them. "I am glad that you two have come."

Tifa and Vincent had been a little startled by the cat's appearance, but Vincent had been able to control himself before he drew his gun.

Tifa smiled widely and knelt down to throw her arms around the animal's neck. "I've missed you so much! I can't wait to see your babies!"

The cat purred.

Vincent took a few steps closer. "Nanaki."

"Vincent," the cat's keen sense of smell told him what Vincent's clothes were hiding, "what happened to you?"

Vincent narrowed his eyes for a moment, before answering. "Hojo…"

Nanaki hadn't heard about their last confrontations with Hojo, but at once understood. "I'm sorry."

Tifa stood back up. "It's okay though, back at the base, there's a new body being made for Vincent."

Nanaki turned his glowing eye up at Vincent. "You will be whole again?"

Vincent flashed a momentary smile. "If all goes well, yes."

"That is good to hear." Nanaki turned and started walking towards home. "Come, Barrett and Marlene will be excited at your arrival, too."

They followed him back to the town. As usual, it was bustling with activity. Nanaki led them to the home he had once shared with Bugenhagen, where he now lived with his family, Barrett, and Marlene.

Upon entering, Barrett rose up off the couch, smiling widely. "I'll be damned, look what the cat dragged in!"

Tifa ran forward and embraced her old friend. "Oh Barrett, how are you?"

He laughed. "Been pretty good. How you doin'?"

"We're great," Tifa said, taking a step back from him. She immediately noticed that his gun arm was gone, now replaced with a cybernetic hand, not much different then the two that Vincent now sported. "Wow, when did you get that?"

Barrett raised his arm. "I got this 'bout a month ago. More practical than the gun, since I don't fight no more."

"That's cool." Tifa had always wondered what had possessed the man to get the gun in the first place, although it had proven useful several years back.

Marlene then ran into the room, having heard their visitors from the kitchen. "Hey!"

Tifa ran to her and embraced the girl that now stood nearly as tall as she. "Oh Marlene, look how you've grown!"

She smiled widely as she stepped back. "Gosh, the last time I saw you I was really small."

"Yeah, it's been a long time." Tifa couldn't believe how much the girl had changed.

From another room in the house, Nanaki's mate came in. She was slightly smaller than he, and didn't sport the same length of mane. Her two amber eyes examined the visitors. "You two must be Tifa and Vincent?"

"They've come to visit for a while," Nanaki said, walking over to her side. "Everyone, this is Santicia."

"Nice to meet you." Tifa smiled widely, while Vincent just smiled faintly and nodded.

"And you as well. Nanaki has told me a lot about you, so I'm pleased to finally meet you." Santicia sat on her haunches.

It was then that the two rambunctious cubs came running in from the room where Santicia had just emerged. They were so wrapped up in their game of tag that they didn't notice the strangers until the male cub ran right into Vincent's leg. The kitten was slightly stunned from the impact and fell over onto his back.

Vincent looked down in shock, terrified that he had hurt the small creature. He knelt down and dared to reach out and touch the cub. "Are you okay?"

The cub managed to get up and shook for a second. He blinked up at the man before him. "Dad, who is this?"

"It is Vincent," Nanaki replied, knowing that the cub would sustain no damage from the bump he had just received.

"Oh…" The cub sniffed at Vincent's hand that was offered up.

In the meanwhile, the female cub that had retreated behind her mother upon seeing the strangers walked over to Tifa and swatted at her shoelace.

Tifa stooped down and stroked the cub for a moment before picking her up and taking her into her arms. The cub submitted to being held and began to purr. Tifa smiled over at Nanaki and his mate. "They are so cute! What are their names?"

Nanaki beamed with pride. "The boy we named in honor of my father, Seto, and the girl is Syrah."

"And they never quit movin'," Barrett laughed from where he now sat. "At least you guy can keep them entertained for a while. I'm scratched all to hell from playin' with them all the time!"

Vincent was still kneeling and the male cub climbed up, forcing Vincent to hold him. He stood back up with the cub in his arms. Despite all his attempts to hide the "warm fuzzies" he was getting, he couldn't help but smile. "I'm really happy for you, Nanaki."

"Thank you." Nanaki grinned to see Vincent submitting to the cub's cuteness. "Tell me, how is Cid doing? After Shera passing, I would imagine that things have been rough for him."

Tifa went over to a chair and sat, the female cub still in her arms. "Well, in true Cid Highwind fashion, he's managing to get by. I think the fact that he has the baby to keep him occupied helps. It was pretty hard for him at first, though. I'm just glad that Vincent and I got to be there for him."

Nanaki shook his head and dropped his gaze to the floor. "That poor man. At least though he does have his son. There is no greater joy in the world that having children."

Tifa, ever the optimist, let her smile return. "Well, after Vincent gets all put back together, he and I will be able to figure that out for ourselves."

"That would be very good." Nanaki looked back over at Tifa. "Very good indeed."


	57. 193 Acceptance

Guilt's Cost: Part 193

Acceptance

By Kristen Williams

The rest of the day was filled with Vincent and Tifa catching up with Nanaki, Barrett, and Marlene, as well as getting to know Santicia and the cubs. Vincent had to admit to himself that there was something very comforting about being in the presence of Nanaki, as they shared an understanding about each other that not many else were privy to. They didn't need to rehash the past of both having suffered at Hojo's hands; there was just an unspoken camaraderie that the two had always had with each other. Nanaki sat beside the chair that Vincent was in, and Vincent unconsciously allowed his left hand to dangle over the armrest and stroked the large cat's head. Nanaki in turn just purred quietly. He knew that it did Vincent good to touch him and it didn't bother the cat, since Vincent didn't treat him otherwise like a pet.

Despite the fact that Marlene was just twelve years old, she had proven to be a proficient cook and she made them a sizable dinner. As they sat eating, she even went so far as to tell Vincent and Tifa that she wanted to be a professional chef when she grew up, and that Barrett had a large college fund for her. It was going to be needed because when she was a little older she was slated to attend the prestigious Junon Culinary Institute. Barrett beamed with pride as his adopted daughter shared this with their guests. He was going to see to it that all of his little girl's dreams came true and nothing was going to stop him. Despite all the tragedy and hardship that there had been in her life, she was remarkable mature and well together.

When night fell, everyone went outside for a bonfire. Many of the canyon's residents had received word by now that there were visitors, and so several people showed up. The party ran long into the night. Eventually, Vincent got tired of being around that many people and so took a walk and finally perched himself atop of some rocks. Sitting there in the night air, he thought back to nearly two years ago, when he was living in the desert alone, convincing himself to go and find Tifa. He smiled at the memory. Despite all that had happened between then and now, he was happier than he had ever been.

He was snapped out of his reverie when he heard something behind him. Vincent looked over his shoulder and placed a hand upon the gun at his side. To his relief he saw that it was only Nanaki.

The cat easily leapt up onto the rocks and lay down beside Vincent. "Still not one for large crowds, I see."

One corner of Vincent's mouth tugged up into a quick smirk. "No, I guess I'm not."

Nanaki nodded slightly. He sniffed at the night air a few times and then stared at Vincent with his amber eye. "You still make a habit of carrying candy with you?"

This time, Vincent broke out into a wide smile, remembering how the cat always begged sweets off of him. He reached into his shirt pocket and pulled out a chocolate mint. Vincent pulled it from the wrapper and then tossed it toward Nanaki, who caught it mid air as well as any mundane dog would.

After Nanaki had swallowed the candy, he flopped to his side. "So, I smell a lot more machine now. Hojo took the rest of your body, I gather?"

Vincent shrugged and looked off into the distance. Nanaki was perhaps the one creature with whom he could discuss these matters without becoming emotional. "Yeah, he did, but in a few months, I'm going to have my body back so all will be right again."

The great cat, who had drunk a large amount of beer during the party, rolled over onto his back. "You had your revenge upon Hojo though, right?"

He knit his brow at the mention of the madman's name, and stared down to the gold wedding band upon his left hand. "I did. He will never hurt anyone ever again. The only reason I survived that fight with him was because Jaras was there. Strange how everything works out sometimes, huh?"

Nanaki agreed. "Indeed. I, too, take comfort in knowing that he is gone from this plane of existence once and for all. Too bad so many had to suffer before his end."

"I know, but it's over now." Vincent didn't intend to change the topic mid-discussion, but his mind was wandering out of his fatigue. "Angel announced the other day that she's pregnant."

"So you are to become a grandfather?"

"Yes." Vincent shook his head and smiled.

"Do you still hold your animosity toward your son-in-law?" Nanaki asked.

"I've come to understand Reno on some level, I think." He shrugged. "He likes to play the part of the obnoxious bastard, but he's not actually that bad." Once more, Vincent jumped subjects. "I would probably have taken it a lot worse, if I hadn't been so drained by my brother's death."

Nanaki uprighted himself and cocked his head. "I couldn't believe that he had died when Tifa mentioned it earlier today." The cat immediately sensed the change in Vincent's composure and went on carefully. "Do you wish to tell me what happened?"

Vincent hung his head and his shoulders slouched. "It was the last time that Chaos came out of me. Tseng got between him and an escape, and he was thrown into a wall. The doctor said that the injuries he sustained were like something you'd see in a bad car wreck. They did all they could for him, but he just wasn't able to pull through. I felt responsible for it and I still do to some extent, even though I know that it was Chaos and not I. At least now I can find solace in the fact that Chaos is no more. I hope he's burning in the same Hell as Hojo."

"If that demon had a soul to burn…" Nanaki sighed and looked up at the stars.

"True." Vincent looked over his shoulder and saw that Tifa had found them.

She climbed up next to her husband and rested her head on his shoulder. "I was wondering where the two of you had gotten off to."

Nanaki purred. "Just getting some quiet time."

"Oh, I know good and well that Vincent here was just hiding from all the people." Tifa laughed.

"You know me too well." Vincent sighed.

Tifa shoved him playfully and then looked over at Nanaki. "So, do you think that Santicia and you will have more cubs?"

He nodded. "She and I have hundreds of years to live. I think we might just manage a few more litters."

"Well, you have to promise to invite us again next time. I'd love to see what those cubs look like right after being born. They are just too cute!" Tifa smiled widely.

"I shall." Nanaki was a very proud father. "Where will the two of you be settling down after Vincent's… procedure?"

"We talked about that." Tifa again placed her head on Vincent's shoulder. "We are going to find a place out in the country, maybe near Kalm, where we can have chickens and a fish pond."

"Well, you'll have to give me your address after you settle, so that we can keep in touch." Nanaki replied.

Tifa and Vincent stayed in Cosmo Canyon for nearly two weeks. Although the thought of going back to the confines of the base were less than appealing, they had to return. Quigley and Porter had made significant progress on Vincent's new body, and there were questions that they had to ask him in preparation of the day of the surgery.

Upon arrival back at the base, Vincent was quickly taken to the lab to see the acceleration chamber, and was amazed to see his body, now looking to be about the age of four years floating within. "My God, all that has happened in two weeks?"

Quigley grinned, quite pleased with himself and tapped on the side of the tank. "Yup, everything is going swimmingly."

Porter was sitting close by. "That thing is growing at an amazing rate. You have no idea how many times we've had to drain the tank and cut your future self's hair."

Vincent hadn't even considered the fact that the growing body would need grooming and he was just a little grossed out by that. "Really?"

"Yeah, you didn't just think we could grow a body without the nails and hair just taking off did you?" Porter was amused.

"I guess not." Vincent grimaced, but at least they were thinking about these things.

"Don't get your hopes up of sliding into a new body with a nice long mane though," Quigley said while walking around the tank, "we will have to shave your head for the procedure."

Again, this wasn't something that Vincent had thought of, but it didn't disturb him too much. "I think I can handle that. I can lose my vanity for this."

"Another thing is that even though we are keeping electrodes connected to all the major muscle groups in order to stimulate them and build them up, once the surgery is done and you've had to remain still and healing for what could be weeks, you aren't going to be able to do much for a long time. Besides having to relearn how to move, you're going to have to go through a lot of physical therapy to get back any kind of strength." Porter interjected from his seat.

Vincent had already counted on that much and just nodded in response. He knew that he would do it, no matter what the cost.


	58. 194 Relief

Guilt's Cost: Part 194

Relief

By Kristen Williams

By the time that Vincent's surgery was only two weeks away, Angel was starting to show her pregnancy. She still wore her normal clothes, but they were getting noticeably tighter around her belly. Vincent watched how Reno treated Angel closely. Although he had always been good to Angel before, now quite out of character, Reno was actually doting on her. She never had to lift anything, bend over to retrieve anything, or ever ask for anything more than once. He hovered over her constantly like a hawk and Vincent had to admit to himself that he was more than pleased with how his daughter was being treated by her husband.

A lot of Vincent's free time now was spent in the lab, having various brain wave recordings done by Quigley and Porter. They wanted to make sure that they had every possible brain function recorded of Vincent's so during his healing, they could test his cognitive functions even before he was able to move again. During these tests, Tifa always sat close by, knowing that he hated being subjected to any sort of testing. All she could do now was offer him her support, and that is exactly what she did.

Vincent took notice of the fact that Tifa seemed to be growing increasingly tired as the surgery day approached, and he knew very well that it was due to her inability to sleep at night. All too often he would awake, to find her sitting on the edge of the bed in the middle of the night. She was so anxious about what was to happen that she couldn't get any rest and she was too determined to be strong for Vincent as to ask the doctor about any possible sleeping aids.

During one of the last EEG's that Quigley was going to run, Reno strolled into the lab looking for Tifa and Vincent. Despite outward appearances, Reno was more intuitive than most gave him credit for, and although he hadn't spoken much with Tifa over the last several days, he knew what kind of strain she was under, and he also knew how to help. He went to where she was sitting and knelt down. "Hey Tifa, how you holdin' up?"

What was perhaps the most insincere smile ever forced graced her lips. "Oh, I'm doing just fine."

Reno cocked his head to the side and grinned back at her. "Pretty rough, huh?"

She lowered her voice, not wanting to draw Vincent's attention while his tests were being run. "Yeah."

"It's going to get worse before it gets better, but I guess I don't have to tell you that, do I?" Reno reached out and took her hand.

Tifa was touched by the compassion Reno was showing at the moment. Tears burned in her eyes, and she just nodded.

Reno frowned for a second, not liking it when women cried, but soon his smile came back. "I know how to help you feel better though, and I've already taken care of somethin' for you."

Tifa raised an eyebrow and just stared at him.

"I called Cid this morning. His stupid plane is on the fritz so he can't get here himself, but I sent the airship to pick him up, since it was passing near Rocket on its way back here," Reno said.

Tifa's tears immediately turned to ones of happiness. "You did?"

"Sure did."

She threw her arms around his neck and whispered into his ear, "Thank you!"

He stood back up after a second. "No problem. I can't stand to see you women folk all mopey and sad. I figured the old bastard could at least keep ya' occupied."

"Reno, you're wonderful." Tifa grinned up at him.

"Yeah, I know. All the ladies love me." With that, he turned and walked out of the room.

Quigley eventually finished his tests and pulled off the electrodes that had been taped to Vincent's head. Finally able to get up, Vincent walked over to where Tifa was still sitting. "What did Reno want?"

"He said that Cid is on his way back." Her excitement was obvious.

Vincent was relieved at this break in her recent somber mood and smiled. "That's good. I'm glad that he can be here for you."

Tifa got up and embraced her husband. "But everything's going to be all right, so I don't have anything to worry about, right?"

"Right." Vincent kissed the top of her head. "Everything will be just fine."

Porter came over to them, his dog as usual by his side. "Quig and I have looked over these last tests, and we think that we've got enough data collected now." He pointed over to the acceleration chamber, Vincent's new body suspended within. "We just need to do a few final tests on that and I think we're ready to go next Tuesday."

Vincent let go of Tifa and went to the acceleration chamber. Within the past few weeks, Quigley and Porter had been kind enough to place a hospital gown upon his new body, making Vincent feel a little less conscientious when he was in the lab, despite the fact that few people ever saw his new body, clothed or not. He reached out and placed a hand upon the glass, feeling it's warmth, despite the fact his hand was currently robotic. Vincent closed his eyes and sighed deeply, wondering what it was going to be like to be out of his present ruined body and into this new, complete one.

Tifa came up behind him and slipped her arms around his waist. She was trying so hard to keep up her brave front for him. No matter how much he reassured her that everything was going to be fine, she couldn't help but fear the worst. How could it possibly be that fate was going to actually let Vincent Valentine catch a break and have a happy ending? If there had ever been anyone smacked around by the universe more than her husband, she was at a loss to think of who it could have been. Aside from his marriage with her and the happy reunion with his family, his life had been one tragic, cruel joke after another. It seemed to her that Vincent was just _daring_ fate to throw anything else at him. Yet, throughout all of this, he remained so unwavering, so _certain _that this was going to work that Tifa couldn't help but draw what little strength she had left from him.

Sensing Tifa's thoughts, Vincent turned in her embrace and smiled down at her. "No man could ever have expected as much of their mate as you have given me."

She wasn't quite sure how to respond to that and just stared back up at him. How he could be so damn calm during this time was beyond her.

"I'm going to go to the infirmary for a minute. I need to see Doctor Arlin about a few things. Do me a favor and go to our room, okay?" Vincent asked.

"Okay." Tifa supposed that he wanted to make sure that Janice had her surgical teams all ready for the upcoming procedure and didn't question it in the least.

Vincent gave her a quick kiss and the walked out. He went straight to Dr. Arlin's office within the infirmary, pleased to find her there.

Janice looked up from her paperwork and smiled at her visitor. "So, the big day is coming, huh?"

He nodded. "It is."

She folded her arms upon her desk's surface. "What can I help you with?"

Vincent went and sat in one of the chairs before her desk and leaned toward her. "I'm not here about me, it's Tifa."

"Oh really?" Janice knit her brow in concern.

"Yes, she hasn't been sleeping at night for a while now, and I'm worried that she's going to get sick if she keeps up being so stressed. Now, Cid is coming soon and I know that will help her a little, but I was wondering if there was anything you could do?" Vincent was looking for any help he could get for his wife.

Janice nodded knowingly. "Sedatives?"

"Just something to help her sleep…" Vincent felt a little odd about asking for this. "I know she'd feel a lot better if she could just rest at night."

"You're right about that." Janice got up. "Just a second, I'll be right back."

Vincent sat as she left the room briefly. He could see that the top of the doctor's desk was littered with post-it's regarding the upcoming surgery. There were also eight neurology books stacked on her file cabinets. Although she was going to have several neurosurgeons on the team, she still wanted to know as much as possible. Hard copies of the research that Quigley had smuggled out of Hojo's lab were also laying about, detailing the stem cell graft techniques they were going to need to make the operation a success.

Soon, Janice returned with a bottle of pills that she handed to Vincent. "I printed the instructions on the label. Two of those about an hour before she goes to bed and she should do just fine."

Vincent stood up and placed the medication in his pocket. "Thank you, Dr. Arlin."

He went back to the room he and Tifa shared. He didn't see her, but he could hear the shower running so he went into the bathroom. Vincent saw her form through the frosted glass and knocked on it.

The door cracked open and she peeked out. "Hey Vincent. What's going on?"

Despite himself, he smiled at seeing her in she shower. "I got something for you."

She raised her eyebrows. "What is it?"

From his pocket he pulled out the pill vial and held it out so that she could see the label.

Tifa immediately recognized the medication's name, as it had been one of the sleeping pills that Cloud had once been prescribed. She smiled and looked at Vincent. "It's that obvious, huh?"

"I just don't want you to get too exhausted from all that's going on. I've seen you sitting up all night lately, and I wanted to help." Vincent set the pills on the bathroom counter.

Tifa wasn't offended in the least that he had gotten sedatives on her part. She knew that he had only done it out of genuine concern for her well being and it made her feel better. "Vincent?"

He braced for a possible negative response. "Yes?"

"I love you." She smiled.

Relieved, Vincent replied, "I love you, too."


	59. 195 Commitments

Guilt's Cost: Part 195

Commitments

By Kristen William

Cid was just finishing up packing when he heard the unmistakable drone of the airship's engines flying overhead. He slung his heavily loaded pack onto one shoulder, and then reached down and picked up the baby's bag of supplies and threw that over the other. Now with a good forty pounds of clothes, diapers, and baby formula burdening him, he stooped down one more time to grab his son's infant carrier. Cid sighed and looked around the house one more time before walking outside. Even though months had passed since Shera's death, there was something crushingly lonely about being in his home anymore. Although it was happening less often now, he would occasionally hear something in the house, and he would instinctively turn, expecting to see Shera there.

He went to where the airship was waiting for him and boarded. Some of the crew members, who had remembered the rules Cid had lain down for them the last few times he was onboard greeted him and instinctively saluted. Cid did his best to reciprocate, considering his burden of carry-ons. Some of the crew then came forward to help him with his bags and in a rare moment of letting go of his pride, Cid actually let them. He was shown to his room and allowed to settle in for a few moments, but as quickly as he could manage Cid made his way to the bridge.

The captain of the ship cringed upon seeing the old pilot stroll in. He knew from his previous run ins with Cid that there was no hope of maintaining control of his vessel while Highwind was here, and so grudgingly got up and sulked out of the bridge. Cid, with his son in his arms fell into the now vacated captain's chair and smiled. This was about as good as it got for him. The command of a ship this big was good for his ego. At once he set out to get the crew back into shape. As time passed, he started to fidget with the COM buttons on the armrest and eventually, he pushed the one to the engine room.

Within a few seconds, a woman's voice responded. "Yeah?"

Cid smiled to himself before replying. "Hey old lady, what's going on?"

She laughed. "Highwind? Is that you?"

"Yeah." He lowered his voice, not wanting everyone on the bridge to be privy to the giddiness he felt at speaking with Jin. "How the hell have you been?"

"Fine, yourself?"

"I'm getting by." Cid sighed. "What time are you getting off today?"

"Six, should I be expecting you then?" She herself was more than a little excited at seeing the pilot again.

"Sure." With that, he let go of the button and straightened back up. Immediately he noticed that several of the crewmembers were staring at him and he felt himself blush despite his attempt to not respond. "Mind your own god damned business and get back to work!"

After two days of taking her sleeping pills before bed, Tifa had to admit to herself that she was feeling a lot better. It was good timing too, because now Vincent's facade was finally cracking and he was getting nervous. There weren't any glaring signs of his anxiety, but Tifa knew what to look for and saw enough to let her know what he was thinking.

She entered their room after having gone out to buy some baby shower gifts for Angel, to find Vincent sitting on the couch reading as he often did. However, as he sat reading, his left leg was nervously swinging back and forth. Vincent was never one for unconscious fidgeting, but he was doing so a lot more now. Tifa also couldn't help but notice that an errant thread that had been sticking out of the couch's arm for the last few months had been tugged on, and now it hung down over the arm of the couch a good fourteen inches. Every page in the book he was reading had had its bottom corner torn off and small fragments of paper littered the floor.

She placed her hands on her hips and smiled. "Vincent, are you all right?"

He closed his book and sat it down beside him. "Yeah, of course."

Tifa smiled to herself, knowing that there was no way that Vincent would ever openly admit that he wasn't. "What's with the paper all over the floor?"

Vincent hadn't been aware that he had been dismantling his book, and he looked down to see the dozens of paper bits scattered around him. "Huh, I don't know."

"It's all right." She came over and sat beside him. "You're getting nervous, aren't you?"

He shrugged. "I don't think so."

"I've been watching you and I think you are. You have some really quirky nervous traits, you know," Tifa said, almost laughing.

He brushed some of the bits of paper that had landed on his lap to the ground. "Like what?"

"Are you joking? You're tearing your precious books to ribbons!" Tifa motioned at the mess around them.

"It's just the corners…" Vincent knew that he couldn't really talk his way out of this one, but he was determined to try. "It's not like I'm taking out entire pages or anything."

"Not yet." Tifa placed her head on his shoulder. "Just a few days ago you were still supposed to have two weeks to wait, but now that Porter and Quigley have decided that everything is ready to go on Tuesday, that only leaves five more days."

"Counting down, are you?" Vincent closed his eyes.

"Like your not?" Tifa smiled. "Cid is supposed to get here tonight, you know."

"That's what Reno told me this morning," Vincent replied, glad that the pilot would be around for Tifa's sake soon. "So, how does a nice girl like you end up with such a bastard for a best friend?"

Tifa straightened up and shoved him playfully. "Oh come on, you know you like him too."

He scoffed, but he did appreciate Cid. "Think what you will."

"I wonder if he's still interested in Jin?" Tifa mused.

"I have no idea."

A knock came to their door, and Vincent got up to answer. He was surprised to see Porter there, dressed in a tux. "Porter, what are you doing here?"

"If you don't have any plans for the moment, I was wondering if you and Tifa would be so good as to accompany Rayna and I to the courthouse?" Porter asked.

Tifa immediately got the gist of what he was saying and flew across the room. "Oh my God, you two are getting married?"

Porter blushed a little and looked down at his dog. "Well, yeah. It's kind of spur of the moment, but we talked about it and decided that it was the thing to do."

"Okay, just let us change and we'll be right out!" Tifa clapped her hands together in her excitement.

Vincent closed the door and looked at his wife. "Didn't give anyone much warning, did they?"

Tifa was already digging through the closet for a dress. "Not really. Come on, get something nice on."

Vincent rolled his eyes and too went to the closet. The only "nice" thing he had to wear was the suit that he had gotten for his brother's funeral and so he chose to wear that.

After only about ten minutes, Tifa and Vincent were ready and they headed up to Costa del Sol and went to the courthouse. Once there, they saw that much of the ASRIO staff had arrived for the occasion. They had even managed to find a photographer on such short notice and he was going around snapping pictures of the guests.

Porter came up to them. "I was wondering if the two of you would be our witnesses and sign the marriage license?"

Tifa was absolutely giddy with excitement. "Of course, we would be honored!"

"I figured it was the least Rayna and I could do, since you guys basically saved both her and I from Shin Ra." Porter smiled meekly.

Rayna finally arrived via a limo that Reno had provided for the occasion and got out in her rather simple wedding dress. She quickly found Porter and everyone was ushered into the courthouse's interior and into the small civil ceremonies room. Tifa and Vincent got to stand beside Rayna and Porter as the judge entered and recited the ceremony.

It was short and to the point, and after just a few minutes, Porter and Rayna were wed. Vincent and Tifa signed the marriage certificate as instructed and then everyone headed to the restaurant where the reception was being held. Once inside, Tifa and Vincent sat at the table where Rayna, Porter, Reno, and Angel were assigned.

Tifa shook her head as she looked at Rayna and Porter. "How in the world did you guys manage to pull this off with such little time?"

Porter laughed. "Mostly thanks to Reno and a few calls he made, actually. Rayna and I decided that we wanted to go ahead and do this as of this morning. We happened to tell Reno at breakfast and bam, before I knew it, he came up and told us that everything was ready!"

"Reno, that was really nice of you!" Tifa said over to him excitedly.

The truth was that Reno had been in a relatively good mood lately thanks in part to the fact that Angel was pregnant and they had managed to talk to him during one of his generous moments. "It's no big deal. I figure, we get everyone in the base paired off and married as quickly as possible and we won't have to deal with any of that dating drama bullshit around the place anymore."

Quigley came up. "Congratulations you two."

"Thanks Quig," Porter replied. "I'm glad we were able to pull you out of the lab for a few minutes."

Quigley laughed. "You aren't kidding. I forgot there was even a town up here."

Angel leaned forward. "So, you guys didn't have any family or anything that you wanted to have attend?"

Rayna shook her head. "Porter and I both don't really have any relatives living anymore. I think that the only people we would have really wanted here were Rude and Kimo, and considering that they both still work for Shin Ra, that would have been a little hard to get away with."

Angel nodded in understanding. "Well, I'm sure that we can get word to them somehow or another to let them know that you're married, can't we, Reno?"

"Yeah, probably." Reno, too, would have liked to have had Rude here, but it would have been too risky. The Turk had already taken a big risk by showing up to Tseng's funeral a few months earlier.

As sunset approached, the reception began to wind down. Tifa and Vincent took their leave and strolled around town. Eventually, they ended up on a spot on the beach where the two had been once before under the cover of darkness. They sat in the sand on the deserted beach and stared out at the waves.

"Well, that was a good way to spend the afternoon," Tifa said, half to herself.

"Yes."

"Remember the last time we were here?" Tifa asked, a sly tone to her voice.

Vincent couldn't help but smile, remembering back. That had been unlike him to do something so intimate out in the open. "Of course."

Tifa giggled. "What do you say that after your surgery is all done and over with, that we come back to this very spot and do that again?"

Vincent cocked an eyebrow and looked over at her. "Sure… you really don't mind doing that outside very much, do you?"

Tifa blushed and her mouth dropped open, knowing very good and well that he was referring to the incident at the North Crater prior to their encounter with Sephiroth. She and Cloud had "frolicked" around that night, not knowing that everyone on the Highwind could see them. "Vincent!"

"What? I heard Cid and everyone up on deck and I went out to see what they were looking at. I didn't stand there and watch the whole thing, unlike some of them," Vincent answered slyly.

Her jaw dropped. "I had completely forgotten about that embarrassing moment, thank you very much!"

Vincent outright laughed. "Oh come on, you know no one minded seeing that, well, except for Yuffie, but I think she was just jealous."

Tifa broke out in laughter. "God that was so embarrassing the next morning when everyone on the bridge started cat calling at Cloud and I!"

"It was one of the few fun moments during the whole quest."

"At my expense, no less." Tifa crossed her arms, trying to feign anger.

"No, I think it was more at Cloud." Vincent nudged her.

"Well in that case, I guess it was fine." Tifa shook her head. "I have never, ever talked about that since it happened with anyone, you know."

"I didn't figure it would be something that you would share with the general public." Vincent grinned. "I'm surprised that the whole event didn't give Cid a heart attack."

"Oh come on, Vincent," Tifa retorted, "he wasn't that old at the time."

"All that smoking and beer drinking must have already done some damage by then, though." Vincent sighed.

As if on cue, the airship appeared on the horizon.

Tifa jumped up. "He's here!"


	60. 196 Proof

Guilt's Cost: Part 196

Proof

By Kristen Gupton-Williams

Tifa practically dragged Vincent back to the airfield. By the time that they arrived, Cid was already out of the airship with his baggage and his son in his arms. He smiled upon seeing Tifa and Vincent and walked over to them.

Tifa immediately took the baby from him and looked him over. "Oh Cid, he's getting heavy!"

He brimmed with pride. "Yeah, I'm still managing to get food into him."

Vincent looked over Tifa's shoulder at the little boy and just smiled faintly.

Cid looked at the other man, taking notice of the fact that Vincent was in a suit. "What's this? Going back to your Turks days?"

He met Cid's gaze and cocked an eyebrow. "No, actually, we were just at a wedding."

"Anyone I know or give a rat's ass about?" Cid asked.  
"Porter and Rayna," Vincent replied.

Cid looked thoughtful for a moment. "That's great. I'm glad for them I guess."

Tifa caught the change in Cid's tone and looked up at him. Obviously there was something about the wedding that upset him on some level, and she knew that it was Shera's death. She opted to change the subject. "Let's go put your stuff in your room."

Once in the base, Cid dropped his bags in his room and then turned to his friends. "So, where's this body of yours cooking?"

Vincent wasn't in the business of taking just anyone to the lab to see his new self, but Cid wasn't going to take no for an answer. Without a word he just turned and began heading for the lab.

Cid glanced over at Tifa. "Friendly as ever, I see."

She couldn't help but smile. "You know how he is. Vincent just doesn't want everyone making a big deal out of this."

"Oh right, no one is going to make any sort of fuss about Pinocchio becoming a real boy," Cid scoffed.

Vincent stopped dead in his tracks upon hearing the pilot's joke. With his nerves on end as they had been over the last few days, Cid's humor was not striking him as funny. Instead of turning and saying anything back though, Vincent managed to calm himself down just enough as to again start walking toward the lab.

Behind him, Cid realized that he had just struck a chord with Vincent and he looked over at Tifa and knit his brow. "I guess I'll just shut the hell up now."

After a short while, they came to the lab doors and Vincent pushed them open. He walked forward, quickly discovering that for the moment, the place was abandoned and the only sound to be heard was the low hum of the acceleration chamber.

Cid pushed past him and went right up to the glass, looking inside. What he saw there was unlike anything he'd ever seen before and in a rare moment, he was speechless. Vincent's body hung there within, muscles each moving slightly every few seconds as the electrodes within them fired. He narrowed his eyes and looked at the body's face, studying it for a moment. It was definitely Vincent all right, but there was something odd about it. Somehow, even with the eyes closed, it was obvious that there was absolutely no trace of a soul within the form. Cid felt goose bumps rise on his arms and he stepped back.

Tifa and Vincent both noticed the expression that Cid wore, seeing that he was clearly disturbed on some level. Tifa spoke up. "What's on your mind?"

He glanced back over his shoulder for a second at the body, and then turned and examined Vincent as he stood before him. "So, they're really going to put you in there?"

Vincent shrugged. "That is the idea, yes."

Cid couldn't begin to understand at all how this was going to work. If Vincent survived this at all it would be nothing short of a miracle as far as he was concerned. "I don't know man, this… this is crazy."

"Quigley and the rest seem pretty confident about it," Tifa interjected, more for her self than Cid.

Again, Cid glanced back at the body. "Fuck, I'm sure as hell glad I ain't involved in any of this."

Vincent reached out and placed a hand upon Cid's shoulder. He wanted to tell the pilot exactly what a big part he was playing in all this, being Tifa's support throughout the whole process, but words failed him. The corners of his mouth pulled down slightly into a frown.

Cid, for reasons unknown to him, reached out and took Vincent into his arms and pulled him close. "God damn it man, are you _sure_ about doing this?"

Vincent, surprised for a moment froze within the pilot's embrace. "Yes, I am."

A little embarrassed about his display, Cid stepped back and ran a hand through his hair. "It's your body I guess, but I for one think you're insane for going through with this."

Not feeling any need to explain himself to Cid, Vincent turned around and walked out of the lab.

Tifa and Cid looked at each other in silence for a moment and then Cid asked, "He's acting a little more spooky than he did there for a while, isn't he?"

"Yeah," Tifa sighed, "he's nervous about this. You know Vincent, whenever anything is on his mind he gets quiet and reclusive."

"I don't know how you put up with that shit." Cid laughed. "It drives me up the god damned wall."

Tifa smiled, "It's not for long. Soon, this will all be over and done with and everything will be all right… I hope."

Cid furrowed his brow and looked down at her. "Seriously, what are the chances of this working?"

She thought for a second before responding. "Like I said, Quigley and Dr. Arlin seemed fairly convinced that this is going to go just fine. Even if the chance of him pulling through were only one percent, you know as well as I do that he'd go for it. Vincent can't go on living in that body. I know he's seemed all right more or less for a while now, but I know it's driving him insane."

"Obviously, because he's fuckin' nuts to do this, no offence." Cid crossed his arms over his chest.

"I'm sure he appreciates the fact that you're so concerned in his own way, just don't expect him to show it." Tifa dropped her gaze to the baby that was lying in her arms.

"I'm not worried about Vincent. I'm worried about what all this crap is going to do to you, Tifa." His expression almost turned angry.

"I've come to accept that this has to happen. If Vincent himself didn't seem so damned certain that this was going to turn out fine, then I'd be out of my mind by now, but he really is confident." She felt herself slouch a bit.

"It's hard to believe that he's got faith in anything anymore after all that the son of a bitch has been through." Cid shook his head.

"I think that fact in itself is proof that miracles can happen, Cid." Tifa smiled.

He looked at her and shook his head. "I think the fact that he ended up with _you _is proof that anything can happen."

"Oh Cid." Tifa rolled her eyes and grinned. "We are a lot more alike than I think anyone ever would have thought underneath it all."

Cid cocked his head and narrowed his eyes. "Eh, not that much. You don't get all creepy when you're depressed."

"Well, you've got me there, I guess." Tifa laughed.

"We should probably go catch up with him, before he goes out and starts accosting virgins in their beds or whatever it is his kind do after dark," Cid said, sounding entirely serious.

Tifa scowled at him. "What is with you and Reno constantly finding the most bizarre statements to make about what Vincent does at night?"

Cid outright laughed at her reaction. "Oh come on, Tifa. Look at him for God's sakes! On top of that, he was sleeping in a coffin for thirty years under that mansion! I bet you've never once seen him eat garlic, have you?"

Tifa wasn't particularly thrilled with how people were constantly joking about her husband being either Dracula or Marilyn Manson. "Come on, stop it!"

Cid knew that she was about to crack under her annoyed exterior. "Come on yourself. You've never, ever seen him eat garlic now, have you?"

Despite the fact that a smile was fighting to crop up, she pretended to remain angry. "That's besides the point. Just because he hates the stuff doesn't make him a vampire."

Cid just grinned at her.

No longer able to resist, Tifa broke out into laughter. "You're horrible, Cid."

He patted her on the shoulder before walking out. "If I only had a gil for every time you've said that."


	61. 197 Details

Guilt's Cost: Part 197

Details

By Kristen Williams

Those last five days passed quickly. Dr. Arlin briefed all of her surgeon friends regarding the procedure at hand, and they were all by now quite well versed in Hojo's research. The techniques and secrets that they had all gathered from what they had read were going to prove groundbreaking once they applied it to their legitimate public medical practices. If nothing else, all of what they had learned on Vincent's behalf was going to change the lives of millions of people suffering from spinal trauma and organ transplants.

Quigley and Porter too, were more than a little busy. After his one day off following his wedding, Porter had been at Quigley's side in the lab nonstop as they prepared Vincent's new body for the surgery. They had it pulled from the acceleration chamber and lying on a hospital bed, hooked up to various life support devices; the same ones that would keep Vincent alive after the surgery until his nervous system healed.

Vincent also was kept occupied, as Porter also did a good amount of work studying his present mechanical body, so that he would know how to help the doctors prepare him come surgery day. He had to map out exactly how Vincent's body temperature was maintained, so that he could interrupt it, allowing his temperature to fall to a point where his brain could sustain going without blood flow for an extended time.

Finally, by the day before the surgery, Vincent was cut loose from the scientists and doctors as they made their last preparations, no longer needing him. He exited the lab and went to find Tifa, who was of course with Cid and the baby out in the hanger talking with Brad. Upon seeing Tifa, he walked over to her.

She smiled. "They actually let you out for a while?"

"They said they don't need me again until tomorrow morning at seven," Vincent answered, shrugging slightly. "I need to go into town for a little while, to tie up some loose ends."

"I'll go with you." Tifa wasn't about to let him out of her sight between now and the surgery, considering that it might be the last time she had to be with him at all.

Vincent had actually wanted to go alone, but he wasn't about to argue with her. "All right, I'm sure Cid and Brad can keep each other occupied until we get back."

Cid and Brad just looked at one another and laughed.

With that, Tifa and Vincent headed into town. Tifa didn't question him as to where they were going, just walking at his side in silence. Vincent took them straight to the bank and they entered. Instead of going up to the usual teller windows, Vincent immediately headed for the small private offices in the front of the building.

A woman in one of the offices apparently recognized Vincent. "Mr. Vatasi? Are you here about the withdrawal?"

He nodded and sat before her desk, Tifa following suit. "Yes, I trust that everything is in order?"

"Of course, Mr. Vatasi." She smiled widely. "Wait here and I will be back in just a moment."

As she left the room, Tifa turned to Vincent. "What are you doing?"

"Closing out my bank account," he said flatly.

Tifa knew what he was thinking. "But Vincent, why do that if you're so sure that you're going to live?"

"Tifa, whether I live or not has little to do with this." He reached over and covered one of her hands with his. "I am going to be basically in a coma for the next several weeks. If in that time you should need anything, I wouldn't want you to not have access to my money."

She had to accept his answer at face value, knowing that it would be pointless to try and drag any more out of him about it.

Soon enough, the woman returned to the room, followed by two armed security guards who carried with them three brief cases. They locked the door to the room and closed the blinds before laying all three cases upon the desk's surface. The woman then opened all three and turned them to face Vincent. "Here you are, Mr. Vatasi. Seventeen million, six hundred and forty-nine thousand, three hundred and fifty gil. All in fifties and hundreds, as per your request. Shall I count it out for you?"

Vincent smiled and shook his head. "No, that won't be necessary."

"Then I trust that you will at least allow our guards to see you to your car?" She asked, knowing what a risk carrying this much cash was.

Again, Vincent just smiled. He didn't feel the need to tell the lady that they had in fact walked here from a secret base below the town's airport. "I appreciate the offer, however, we are more than prepared."

"I see." She quickly closed the three brief cases and locked them before handing Vincent the key. "Then you are all set. Please know that when you are ready to reopen an account, we will be more than delighted to serve you."

Vincent stood up and grabbed the brief cases, handing one to Tifa. "I will keep that in mind should the need arise. Good day."

Tifa felt like she would pass out as she realized that she was presently holding more money than she had ever seen before; her case alone had over five million gil within. As they left the bank, she couldn't help but stare down at the brief case hanging from her right hand.

Vincent observed her out of the corner of his eye. "You're not being incredibly subtle by staring at the thing like that."

She snapped out of her state and looked over at him. "I know you said once that you had this much money, but…"

"Seeing is believing?" Vincent finished for her, a faint smile upon his lips.

Although she didn't want to admit that it had before just seemed like a strange, intangible thing until now, but that's how it was. "I guess so."

"Now, once we get back to the base, you keep this in the closet, and don't tell a soul. If I wake up and find out that our retirement has gone missing, I will be very unhappy." Vincent's voice lacked any humor.

"Of course, I'm not crazy enough to go blabbing about having a shit load of cash like this under the mattress." Tifa couldn't help but smile.

Vincent shook his head in amusement, upon hearing her resort to obscenities about the amount of money in their possession. "You're starting to sound like Cid, you know."

"Well, how would you describe this much money?" Tifa glanced over at him.

"I think a shit load just about sums it up, actually," he said, his expression unwavering.

Tifa had to laugh at him. Despite all the time that they had spent together, she was still tickled by his responses to things. "Vincent, I'm going to miss the living hell out of you until you wake back up following this surgery."

He smiled, "I'll miss you too."

They returned to the base and safely stowed the money in their room. After that, Vincent took her to the lab, to show her his body as it now rested upon its bed there. They walked in, finding that Quigley and Porter had stepped out to have a meeting with the doctors to be involved in the next day's proceedings.

The new body lay motionless, hooked up to all of its monitors and the ventilator. Vincent looked down upon his new self, his expression for the moment blank. He reached out with his cybernetic hand and took up one of his soon to be normal hands within it. As he studied it, he was amazed at how despite the fact that thirty years had gone by since he had last seen his left hand, every detail of it had still remained in his memory. This hand was unmarked in any way. All of the familiar scars that had once adorned the left hand he had been born with were of course missing from this artificially produced one and at once a mixture of familiarity and strangeness ran through him. This was his body without a doubt, and yet all of the environmental marks that had been once upon his old body were absent. He couldn't help but find it strange that despite all that he was about to get back, he was going to miss those scars. There had been so many of them, several of them from boyhood injuries sustained with fighting with his younger brother. Some had been from gunshot wounds sustained as a Turk. Part of him was sad that these reminders were going to be missing, although he presently had none of them on his mechanical body now.

Tifa couldn't begin to imagine what he was thinking as she watched him inspect his new self. The look on his face was almost painful for her to witness and so she turned her attention to the new body lying before her. She looked at the face, seeing that there were no lines set into it, making it look younger than the twenty-seven years it had been aged. She wondered if it would stay that way once Vincent was inside. Even though his face at present had quit aging at about the same age, the horrors that he had been through had made their mark. The frown marks below his mouth had always been perhaps a little more pronounced than they should have been. The lines around his eyes too were not found on the new body. Maybe they would never appear. Maybe being in the new body would take away those things that had changed his face over the years. She knew that she wouldn't have that answer until much later, if ever.

Tifa was a little startled when Vincent broke the silence. "It's me, and yet… it's not, is it?"

She wondered for a moment if he had somehow read her thoughts. "I was just thinking that."

He shrugged. "Yeah. All the things that made their marks on me over the years, all the things that I had committed to memory about my actual body… they aren't here."

Tifa wasn't sure how to say exactly what she had been contemplating, but tried. "Look at your new face though, Vincent. I know this is going to sound weird, but when I look at it, I don't see the pain that has been etched onto yours."

"And I hope that it never is, Tifa." He looked up at her. "The only lines I want showing up on this face here are those that are a result of me actually aging, not from being through hell. That has to be all behind me now."

Tifa placed her arms around his waist. "It has to be."


	62. 198 Surgery Day

Guilt's Cost: Part 198

Surgery Day

By Kristen Gupton-Williams

Long time since I updated, but I couldn't muster the ambition to do any writing while I was pregnant… not that it's all that easy with a screaming baby in my lap either ;)

Seven in the morning arrived quickly. It goes without saying that neither Vincent nor Tifa got any sleep that night, both being absorbed in their own worries about what was to come. When the alarm went off, indicating that it was time to go down to the infirmary, Vincent quickly sat up and shut it off. He was hoping that Tifa would stay asleep for a bit longer, but once he looked over at her, he realized that she was wide awake.

She watched him silently as he got up and flipped on the light. The sudden brightness made her turn away for a moment, but she quickly adjusted and the sat up. "Are you ready?"

He glanced at her as he pulled on his pants. "As ready as can be expected. And you?"

"No." Tifa slouched forward a little. "Not even those sleeping pills you got for me a while back could put me out last night."

"Well, after today, there won't be much to do for a while but sleep," Vincent said with a faint smile, more to himself than her.

"Yeah." She slipped from the bed and pulled on some shorts and a tee shirt.

Just a few minutes later, they stepped out into the hall and made their way to the infirmary. Inside, they were greeted by a half dozen surgeons and doctors that Janice had called in for the occasion. They all regarded Vincent with some curiosity, anxious to get underway and seeing if all they had been promised was indeed possible.

Dr. Arlin found them shortly and guided Vincent over to an empty bed. "Get undressed and into this bed. I'm going to bring over something in a moment to start getting you relaxed."

"I have to start the day off by stripping and then getting a shot?" Vincent asked, a slight tinge of worry present in his voice.

"Strip yes, but the medication will be a few pills. I promise not to use you as a pin cushion until after you're under anesthesia." Dr. Arlin turned and walked over to the medicine cabinets.

"That's comforting…" Vincent mumbled as he quickly threw off his shirt and then slipped beneath the thin sheet before removing his pants.

Tifa just stood by him, a mixed expression of concern and fear on her face.

Once Vincent was settled in the bed, Dr. Arlin returned and handed Vincent a small paper cup of water and three rather large pills. "Take those and in about fifteen minutes, you'll not care about a thing."

Vincent cocked an eyebrow and flashed a look at Tifa before taking the pills and swallowing them down. He then handed the paper cup back to the doctor and settled back into his pillow.

Tifa sat on the edge of his bed and took up his hand. She really couldn't think of anything to say at the moment, as her emotions were ripping away any logical train of thought she could muster.

Easily seeing his wife's anxiety, Vincent held on to her hand tightly and smiled. "It will all be over soon enough, then we can get on with the rest of our lives."

They proceeded to sit in silence for a while, and Vincent began to feel the effects of the drugs he had been given. He found himself growing tired and rather indifferent about the situation at hand.

Janice returned after a full twenty minutes had passed, knowing that Vincent would be felling much better. "Your new body is being cooled now in anticipation of the surgery. I'm going to take you back now, so that we can get you anesthetized and prepped.

One last bit of worry cropped up and Vincent turned to Tifa. "You'll be here when I'm done, right?"

"Of course." Tifa smiled and pushed back his hair one last time. "I love you."

"I love you, too," Vincent replied as the doctor began to pull his bed toward the surgery suite. Soon thereafter, the doctors and surgeons that had gathered followed suit, leaving Tifa by herself.

She went over to a chair close to the entry doors and landed heavily. Finally alone, Tifa allowed herself to cry.

It wasn't more than a few minutes later when the doors flew open and Angel walked in with Reno. Angel looked around the room and then came to Tifa's side. "Did they already take him back?"

Tifa wiped her eyes and sighed. "Yeah, just a little bit ago."

"Damn, I wanted to see him before they took him." Angel furrowed her brow. "I'd go back there, but Dr. Arlin has forbidden me from helping, afraid that I'll pass out or something because I'm pregnant and shouldn't be standing for long periods of time."

Truth be told, Tifa would rather have had Angel's company outside of surgery anyway, even if it meant putting up with Reno for the next several hours. "At least I can have you here with me."

"I guess so." Angel was disappointed that she couldn't participate under the circumstances. Part of her knew that the real reason that Dr. Arlin didn't want her in there was the fact that there were already more doctors in the surgery suite that could reasonably fit, and that it was always a good idea to keep family members from working on one another when possible. Especially when one considered the drastic and dangerous procedure that was taking place. She found a chair and pulled it next to Tifa's.

Reno in the meanwhile, just anxiously paced around the clinic, looking for anything of interest in the various drawers and cabinets in the room. "How long is this supposed to take?"

Angel glanced over at her husband. "Twelve to eighteen hours."

He turned where he stood and glared at her. "You mean we're stuck in this crap hope for the whole god damned day?"

She shrugged. "Well, yeah."

"This sucks." Reno resigned to his impending boredom and collapsed onto and empty bed.

Dr. Arlin came out and walked to Tifa's side. "I just wanted to let you know that he's asleep already, so from here on out he's not going to be aware of a thing." The doctor couldn't help but notice the way Tifa was posturing herself. "It's going to be a long time before he's done, and it looks like you could use some sleep."

Tifa forced a smile. "Thanks but I can't sleep. Not even the stuff you gave me before could knock me out at the moment."

The doctor nodded knowingly. "Why don't you climb into one of these beds and I can give you something guaranteed to help you relax a little."

Tifa slowly did as ordered and took up the bed next to where Reno was now lying, playing some video game on his cell phone.

Janice returned with a paper cup of water and the same pills that she had given Vincent just a while before.

More than happy to comply, Tifa took the pills, drank the water and then lay back, awaiting her badly needed rest.

"What about me?" Reno asked, letting his phone fall to his side. "If you're passing out free rufies, I want some, too."

Dr. Arlin just grimaced at Reno's request and looked down at Tifa. "I'm going to go back into the surgery now. I'll make sure to give you updates and let you know when we are getting close to done, okay?"

Tifa forced the most insincere smile she had ever made. Her stomach was knotted at the thought of what was going to happen to her husband. "All right."

Tifa, Angel, and Reno soon found themselves alone. An uneasy quiet settled over them as Tifa waited for the drugs to bring her some relief and Angel and Reno were at a loss for words considering the situation leaving them all to just wallow in their anxiety.

Not much later, Cid entered the room with his baby in his arms as usual. He came to Tifa's bedside and sat next to her. He could easily see that she was under the influence of some medication. "How you holding up? You look stoned."

She managed a faint smirk and sighed. "The doctor gave me something for my anxiety."

Cid nodded. "So I take it Sunshine's underway?"

"Yeah," Tifa rolled onto her side to face him.

"It's going to be all right." He reached out and placed a hand on her arm. "How long until we know something?"

Reno took it upon himself to reply, "All fucking day."

"I see." Cid looked down at the sleeping baby in his arms. "Well, I guess that means I should get comfortable and wait like the rest of you."

"I'm going to fall asleep soon, Cid. You don't have to stay in here if you don't want to," Tifa said, not wanting to keep him down in the dreary infirmary when she knew good and well that he'd much rather be in the hanger shooting the breeze with Brad.

He looked her in the eye and tightened the grip he had on her arm. "Tifa, I told you that I would be here for you when he had his surgery and I'm going to follow through on that, whether you're awake to appreciate it or not."

She smiled at him. "Thanks Cid."

A few moments later, the drugs did their job and she passed from consciousness.

Seeing that Tifa was asleep, Cid got up and moved to a chair that was between the two beds that Tifa and Reno were on.

Reno turned over to look at Cid. "So, how's it going with the plane?"

Cid huffed and kept his eyes on his infant. "It's going. There's still a ton of work to do before it gets back into the air. It did give me the chance to take the airship here again though so it isn't all bad."

"Oh." Reno knew that Cid was probably just as happy to have gotten the chance to see Jin on the airship as he was having flown it here. He changed the subject back to the matter at hand. Reno spoke quietly not wanting Angel who was sitting on the other side of the room to hear. "What do you think the chances are of this scheme working out and Vincent making it?"

Cid shrugged. "He's a tough bastard. If anyone can make it through this sort of thing, it's Vince."

"It is all a little sci-fi though." Reno, not being the least bit savvy on medical subjects couldn't quite get his mind around the whole concept.

"Well, it's coming out of Hojo's research and he pulled off some pretty far out stuff in his day. His so called science got Vincent into this situation, so it's sort of fitting that it get him back out of it," Cid replied.

"Maybe." Reno flopped over onto his back again. "If the fucker doesn't survive though, you know we're going to have our hands full with the women."

"I know." Cid thought back to the promise that Vincent had him make several months ago. "I think it would just about do Tifa in."

"Yeah and I don't want Angel dealing with that sort of stress being pregnant. It's bad enough that Tseng died a while back, but if she had to go through losing him too, God damn…" Reno's heart stung at the thought of Angel mourning another relative and even if he wasn't willing to admit it, he too would hate to see Vincent dead. "If he dies, I'll kill him."

"I'll second that." Cid managed a smile despite the situation.

In the surgery suite, things were going well. Luckily, Hojo thoroughly believed that everyone in the world other than himself was an idiot and he had thusly written all of his instructions for the procedures being done in simple cookbook type steps. The neurosurgeons present quickly had Vincent's vital nerves identified and readied for separation from his present body. The bypass machines were up and running on both bodies and the mechanical heart in Vincent's chest had been stopped as well as the one in his new body. Quigley and Porter had prepared and delivered all of the needed stem cell patches that would allow Vincent to eventually gain motor control over this new form. For the most part, Dr. Arlin was just along for the ride but the things she was witnessing were unlike anything she had ever been a part of since becoming a doctor almost three decades ago.

Once Vincent was put under general anesthesia, he was unaware on any level of what was going on around him. However, once his body temperature had been dropped to the point where his brainwaves were no longer detectable, he became aware and felt a sharp jolt. He realized that he was somehow or another above the surgery table, looking down on what was being done below. The feeling he had was of an overwhelming calm and part of him was amused that the stories of people having out of body experiences while in surgery or technically dead were true. After watching the activities going on beneath him for a while, he found himself being pulled away further. He didn't find himself in a tunnel with a light at the end, but rather he was standing in total darkness with a light far above. He stood there alone in the stillness for a long time and then he heard someone come up behind him. Vincent turned and saw his brother standing there. "Tseng!"

"So, you're getting your new body?" Tseng asked, already knowing the answer.

"I was, but if I'm here, I'm guessing I didn't make it." Vincent was aware that he was dead, but not disturbed by it for the moment.

"Well, you knew that you technically had to die during the procedure in order for it to be carried out," Tseng answered. "You'll go back when they fire up your new body and your brain goes back online."

Vincent nodded in response. The overwhelming calm that was presently enveloping him prevented him from getting very emotional at what was going on.

"That euphoria you're feeling is something you get used to once you're here on a more permanent basis," Tseng said, smiling. "Before you go back though, there are some people that would like to see you."

Vincent heard more movement and turned to see his father and mother coming to his side. At once he went to them and embraced them both in turn. "I've missed you both so much…"

His father smiled widely. "I'm proud of you. Despite everything that life has thrown at you, you're going to come out all right."

His mother nodded in agreement. "We just had to let you know that we love you."

"I love you, too." Vincent took a comfort he had never known upon knowing that everyone that he had ever cared about who was gone was in such a place.

"There are some others here," his father said, pointing behind Vincent.

He turned around to see Cloud, Aeris, and Lucretia emerge from the darkness.

Cloud stepped forward and locked gazes with him. "I just want to thank you for taking care of Tifa. I know you can give her what I couldn't."

Vincent didn't know what to say in response and just smiled faintly.

Aeris came up and took a hold of his hands. "Kind of strange how we have a daughter together, isn't it?"

"Yeah," Vincent sighed. "I'm sorry that I wasn't the nicest guy to you back in the day."

"It's all right." Aeris' bubbly personality hadn't faded at all. "You were going through a lot then and I never took it personally. Cloud and I have watched you and Tifa and we really are happy for you two."

"Thanks." Vincent let his hands fall from her grip and he looked at Lucretia. "Hey…"

She came up and embraced him briefly. "You've done so well. You've got a long recovery in front of you, but you're going to get through it with flying colors."

"I can't believe that you stuck around in that cave for all those years for me." Vincent could appreciate the difference in her appearance from when he had last seen her ghost. She looked younger now; all the signs of stress and anguish had been erased from her features.

"It was what I had to do. Once you were able to let go and move on, so was I." She again took him into her arms and whispered into his ear, "It's time to go back now."

Before he could respond, he felt what was like and electric shock run through his being and again he was plunged into the void of his anesthetic sleep.

Tifa's sleeping medication finally wore off eight hours after she had taken it. She sat up on the bed and stretched. Her mind was still groggy from what she had been given and she could have easily lain back down for another few hours of sleep, but when she looked over at the clock, she saw that quite a while had already passed. She felt obligated to stay awake from here on out just in case anything happened. She looked around the room and saw that Reno was still lying on the bed he had climbed into earlier but was asleep with the magazine he had been reading resting upon his chest. Angel was sitting in the same chair she had been in earlier, also sleeping with her head tilted back against the wall. The only one who was awake was Cid who was sitting in the chair at her bedside, presently giving his baby a bottle.

He noticed her movement and looked up. "You were snoring pretty good there for a while."

She was immediately embarrassed. "I was?"

"You bet you were." Cid set the now empty bottle down on the cart near him. "I don't know how these other two were able to sleep through it."

Tifa could see something in Cid's expression that quickly told her that he was just teasing. She reached out and poked him in the shoulder. "You're terrible."

"I can't help it that you are so easy." Cid smirked.

"Has anyone come out to give us an update?" Tifa asked, again feeling the familiar knot of anxiety in her chest.

"No." Cid leaned back in his chair, adjusting the hold he had on his infant. "But I'll just take it that no news is good news at this point. At the very least, he must still be alive if they are in there after this long."

Tifa was disappointed to hear this but felt that Cid was probably right on his assumption. "I was out for a long time. They could be done in as little as four more hours."

"Yeah, we've still got a while to go." Cid was starving as he had skipped breakfast to get to the infirmary early. "I could really go for something from the cafeteria right about now."

Even though she didn't want to leave the infirmary, Tifa had to admit that she herself was somewhat hungry despite her nerves. She was unaware that this was a side effect of the drugs she had been given earlier. "Actually, I'm kind of thinking about getting something to eat, too."

Cid didn't need any further prompting and stood up. "Let's get a bite real quick then. I'm sure the sleeping beauties here can hold down the fort for a few minutes."

Tifa slid from the bed and followed him out into the hall. They went the short distance to the cafeteria.

As they sat at their table downing their lunches, Cid watched Tifa, pained to see the stress that she was under. Having himself lost a mate, he knew what she was facing if Vincent didn't pull through. "He's going to be fine, you know."

Her mind had been wandering and she was caught off guard by his remark. "What?"

"Vincent, he's going to be fine." Cid pushed his empty plate back. "He wouldn't dare leave you in my care."

She smiled briefly, recalling the conversation she had stumbled in upon between the two men a while back. Although she had been upset at the time, she now knew that Vincent had only asked Cid to look after her out of real concern. "You really don't give yourself enough credit sometimes. Vincent wouldn't have asked you to look after me if something happened to him unless he truly believed that you were the best person for the job. He really does respect you, Cid."

He shook his head. "It's strange how we could go from wanting to kill one another seven years ago to this."

"I know, but we've all changed a lot recently. You and Vincent getting along, Vincent and Reno getting at least to the point of not having physical violence between them." Tifa had to laugh.

"Well, I can agree with Vincent on the fact that Reno is one tough bastard to cope with." Cid furrowed his brow in disapproval of Reno's general attitude. The old pilot himself had difficulty with the ex-Turk that still needed a lot of ironing out. "He's a pain in the ass."

"Reno really is a decent guy beneath that front he puts up. He's full of crap but deep down inside, he's got some redeeming qualities." Tifa wadded up her napkin and tossed it onto the table.

"Yeah well don't expect me to go searching for the little fuzzy Reno down inside that guy." Cid scoffed. "But you're right. He's pulled off some tricks that I at one time wouldn't have thought him capable of."

"I never would have imagined ending up with him as a son in law," Tifa laughed. "This whole thing is so surreal."

"I wish it was all just a dream." He slumped down into his seat, his entire demeanor changing. "Tifa, I really miss Shera."

She reached out and placed her hand over his. "I'm sorry."

Cid quickly pulled his hand away and used it to brush away the tears that were burning his eyes. He didn't want Tifa to see him loose his cool at a time like this. "It's all right, it's just that this whole situation has got me thinking about it a lot lately. The chance that you would have to go through what I did if Vincent died… I can't stand the thought of it."

Tifa was touched by his concern. "Like you said though, he's going to be all right so we don't have to worry about it, do we?"

"Naw, it'll be just fine." Cid looked into her eyes. "You'll see."

Thirteen hours after the surgery had begun, the last of the stem cell grafts were complete and Vincent's heart in his new body had been restarted several hours ago and was still going strong. His body temperature was back within normal limits and the monitors were picking up brainwaves from him of the type that would be expected for someone under anesthesia.

Dr. Arlin looked up to see what time it was and gasped when she realized that she had let so much time go by without giving Tifa any sort of update as she had promised. She immediately walked out of the surgery suite and went to go find Vincent's wife.

Reno, Angel, Tifa, and Cid had circled some chairs in the middle of the infirmary and sat talking. They fell silent and all rose from their seats when they saw Janice emerge from the surgical suite, pulling off her gloves.

"I'm sorry I didn't come out sooner," Dr. Arlin sighed, her guilt obvious.

"How's he doing?" Tifa asked, clasping her hands together over her chest.

The doctor tossed her gloves into a nearby trash can and smiled. "The worst is over. He's in his new body and has been off the bypass machine for quite a while. The others are just getting ready to close him up."

Tifa squealed in her excitement and threw her arms around Cid who was thankfully braced for such an attack as his baby was presently sleeping in Angel's arms. Tifa soon let go of Cid and turned back to face Janice. "How much longer until he's out of there?"

She thought for a moment before answering, "Maybe another hour and a half. Once he's been closed up we're going to keep him in the surgical suite for a while though, just in case we need to get him back under the knife for any reason. I'll take you to see him as soon as possible. They've already taken his old body out and it's in the back room. Quigley and Porter wanted to study it after this is all done."

Tifa couldn't help herself. "I want to see it."

Dr. Arlin frowned. "I don't know if that's such a good idea, Tifa. It's been pretty cut up in order for them to get him prepped to be moved."

Something inside Tifa insisted that she see Vincent's former self just one last time. "I know it sounds morbid but I really need to see it."

The doctor shrugged knowing that Tifa's mind had been made up and there would be no refusing her. "All right, follow me."

Tifa did as ordered and went with the doctor through two sets of doors and into what was the infirmary's make shift morgue. There was a single gurney inside, covered with a white sheet. She turned to Dr. Arlin. "I need to do this alone."

Janice respected her wishes and went back to the surgery.

Tifa steeled herself and went forward to the gurney. Once beside it, she could see the blood stains that had spotted the sheet. With shaking hands, she grabbed the edge of the sheet and pulled it back.

As the doctor had warned, it wasn't a pleasant sight. The familiar black mane that Vincent had sported for so long was gone, shaved away for the surgery. The incision that had been made to allow the surgeons to remove the top and back portions of his skull had been hastily closed with just a few sutures. Vincent's red eyes were half opened, staring out blankly into space. Trails of blood had run from the corners of Vincent's lips from the roof of his mouth having been cut open to allow the surgeons access to nerves and connections that ran behind his face. The mechanical portion of his body hadn't gone untouched either, as the panel covering his chest had been removed to allow his artificial heart to have been stopped.

Even though Vincent wasn't dead, this body was and it's ghastly appearance sent a chill down Tifa's spine. She picked up one of his hands, surprised at the weight of it as all of the inner workings were now unpowered.

Tifa heard the door open again behind her but she didn't turn to see who it was as she could tell by the steps approaching her that it was Cid.

He walked up to her and placed an arm around her shoulders. He examined the body before them and was a little unnerved by it. "God damn, what a mess."

"Yeah." Tifa let her head come to rest against Cid's shoulder. "Looking at it now it's sort of hard to believe that he's alive somewhere else."

"This has got to be the weirdest damn thing I've ever seen," Cid sighed. He couldn't look at the body anymore and turned his gaze down to Tifa. "If he's made it this far, I guess it's looking pretty good."

Tifa smiled for the first time in several hours, finally feeling a little of her anxiety relax. She still had her eyes fixed on the form before her. "It's strange how different it looks just from not having him in there anymore."

When Cid had been in the military, he'd seen several of his friends after they had been killed in battle. He himself had always been struck with the change in appearance the loss of the soul caused a body and agreed. "It happens to everyone when they die, except in this case, he's not dead, just elsewhere."

They both turned when the doors were thrown open. Their heart rates jumped as they expected to see the doctor running in with bad news, but when they saw that it was just Reno, they gathered their nerves.

Reno shoved his hands into his pockets and approached the body. It instantly gave him the willies to look at what had been Vincent, but he did his best to cover any negative reaction. "This shit would all have been a lot easier if he'd just been a hermit crab."

Tifa and Cid both stared at Reno, their expressions a little confused.

Reno rolled his eyes, seeing that he was going to have to explain what he thought to have been a rather clever comment. "Jeez, you know, a hermit crab? We could've just gotten him a new shell at the beach."

"Reno, you're a freak," Tifa said, putting her hands on her hips.

"Whatever." Reno crossed his arms over his chest and scowled. "Let's get the hell out of here, it's creepy."

"I think that's a good idea. Come on, Tifa." Cid took her hand in his and led her from the room.

Tifa looked back over her shoulder one last time at the body she'd grown so accustomed too.


	63. 199 Contact

Guilt's Cost: Part 199

Contact

By Kristen Gupton-Williams

Tifa sat on the edge of a bed, holding Cid's presently crying infant while he was off getting another bottle for the baby. Angel had given up sitting a while earlier and now paced the room nervously, anxious for Dr. Arlin to come out and say that all was finished. Reno in the meanwhile had resumed playing some video game on his cell phone and was oblivious to the outside world.

All eyes turned to Dr. Arlin when she returned to the room. She ran a hand through her hair and smiled. "Okay, it's done."

Tifa squealed, accidentally startling the baby who for the moment stopped his crying. "Oh my God, really?"

"Really."

Angel ran over and threw her arms around Janice. "We've all been so worried!"

"Speak for yourself," Reno interjected, not moving from where he was.

Angel let go of the doctor and spun to face him. "Reno, shut the hell up."

"In any event," Dr. Arlin went on, "they are cleaning up surgery at the moment, and I'll take you in there when that's done. In the meanwhile, one of the neurosurgeons is going to come out and explain to you what we can expect from here on out."

"Okay." Tifa nodded as she moved to lay the baby down on the bed.

A few moments later, the surgeon came out and sat down close to Tifa. "First, I just want to let you know that the surgery went relatively smoothly, considering we were doing things that none of us have done before. We have an EEG machine hooked up to him, and we can pick up what appear to be fairly normal brainwaves from him."

Tifa smiled widely, knowing that this was very good news.

The surgeon reciprocated her grin. "Now, when you go in to see him, I don't want there to be any surprises, so I need to let you know a few things. First off, he's hooked up to several machines and will be until those stem cell grafts start taking hold. He's breathing via a ventilator and we have him intubated of course, but we've done so through a tracheotomy. His head is bandaged up pretty well, but there are some drains coming out of his skull to help relieve any excess fluid build up. This means that the bandages he has will get pretty bloody over the next few days, but we won't be able to change them for at least a week since we can't risk moving him between now and when the grafts start to heal. From what was in the research that we studied before doing this, we know that the grafts will start growing in after about a week, however, it will be several weeks before the nerve connections are healed well enough for signals to start getting through. It will be even longer before he's able to respond to anything at all because he will have to learn how to move his body again."

"So, he might be able to hear and feel things before he can show us that he can?" Tifa asked, cocking her head to the side.

"Exactly." The surgeon adjusted his seat, needing now to give the less than pleasant possibilities. "Now, in the meanwhile, assuming that we are able to keep swelling down to a minimum and that no significant brain damage was done during the procedure, he will be conscious inside his body, but without any sensory perception. As the weeks go on, if the grafts heal properly, he will slowly gain more and more awareness of his surroundings. There is a good possibility however, that not all of the grafts will heal. This means that even if he makes it through all this, he could come out with some profound disabilities. Deafness, blindness, partial or even complete paralysis are all things that may arise. Hopefully, with good care and a large amount of luck though, he'll come out of this with all his senses and most of his motor control. Even if all goes perfectly, he will need months of physical therapy to learn how to move again. I know that's a lot to throw at you, but like I said, I didn't want there to be any surprises."

"Thank you, doctor." Tifa took this all in stride, being too anxious to see Vincent to really get terribly bent over the potential complications.

The surgeon patted her on the knee before getting up. "All right then. Either myself or one of the other surgeons that was here will be checking up on him a few times a day until he shows some signs of recovery."

Dr. Arlin came over as the surgeon walked out of the infirmary. As she did so, all of the other doctors that had come in for the surgery walked out and headed from the infirmary. Tifa was amazed at the number of people that had been packed in the small surgery suite.

Janice smiled. "Well, are you ready to see him?"

"More than ready," Tifa replied, hopping up from the bed. "Angel, make sure the baby doesn't roll over, okay?"

"Don't worry, go see him." Angel went over and took up the place Tifa had been.

Tifa went forward and to the surgery suite alone. The sounds of all the monitors and machines made the room somewhat noisy. She approached Vincent's bedside and took up his hand.

As the surgeon had said, he was bandaged and had the ventilator hooked up through his neck. From the trauma of the surgery, it looked like he had two black eyes, and some other bruising about the face. It was hard for her to see him in this condition, but having seen his previous and no longer living body, it was a little more tolerable. She placed his hand back down at his side and reached out and touched the sheet covering his stomach. Tifa felt it rise and fall with the breaths the ventilator was giving him. Being able to actually feel him breathe was something she hadn't been able to do since Hojo had robbed him of the remainder of his body. Despite the way he looked and the long recovery ahead of him, Tifa smiled to herself knowing that he was whole again.

Once more she heard Cid enter behind her and come to her side. "Well, look at that."

She glanced over at Cid. "It's amazing, isn't it?"

"Yeah, it's pretty fucking incredible if you ask me," Cid said, studying Vincent. "Hard to believe that he was willing to put himself through this after all the crap he'd already been through."

"Yeah, he was always so scared of doctors and medical stuff." Tifa again reached down and took Vincent's limp hand.

"He's got a set on him for going through with this, that's for sure." Cid then laughed to himself, "He _does _actually have a set on him now, right?"

Tifa furrowed her brow and turned to the pilot. "Cid, honestly!"

"It is a legitimate question, Tifa," Cid shot back, still amused with himself.

"Go ahead and check for yourself, pervert." Tifa hit Cid in the arm.

He put up his hands in defense. "Hell no, I'm not going there. It's your job. At least you've relaxed enough to take a joke now… more or less."

"If that was your idea of a joke, Cid, spare me." She openly smiled at him, not able to feign anger any longer. "You know, now that this is over, I'm really tired."

"Yeah, that nap you took today probably doesn't make up for the fact that you've been really stressed out for a long time." Cid placed an arm around her shoulders and pulled her close. "You should probably go get some rest while things are calm."

"That's not a bad idea." Tifa pulled away from Cid and bent to kiss Vincent lightly upon the lips. "I'll see you in the morning, Vincent. I love you."

"Come on, I'll walk you back to your room. Angel's giving the baby a bottle at the moment, so I'm free." Cid walked over and opened the door to the surgery suite.

Tifa went hand in hand with Cid back to her room. The extent of her exhaustion was becoming increasingly evident with each slow step she took. Cid could easily see that Tifa was truly burnt out and felt bad for her.

Once at her room, Cid opened the door and led her inside. He then closed it behind them. "Don't feel bad about going to bed. You've held up remarkable well, considering what you've put up with."

She smiled at him as she kicked off her shoes. "Thanks Cid. I just wonder what it's like for Vincent right now. The doctor said he'll be conscious, but completely disconnected from his body. It's gotta be weird. I hope he isn't scared."

Cid sat on the end of the bed. "Being locked away in some dark place for a long time seems to be one of Sunshine's specialties. If he could handle laying in that box under the mansion for thirty years, these few weeks should be a cake walk, right?"

"I hadn't really thought about it like that." Tifa collapsed onto her side of the bed, pulling a pillow under her head so that she could look at Cid. "I'm just so happy he's alive."

Cid's demeanor changed just the slightest bit and he broke eye contact with Tifa. "Yeah, he pulled it off."

Tifa narrowed her eyes and continued to stare at her friend. She wondered what was bothering him, but figured that it was the memory of Shera's death cropping up again. "I really do appreciate you being here for me through all this."

"So you've said before." He pulled his gaze up from the floor and looked at her again. "I'm glad to do it. You were there for me when I needed it, it's all I could do to return the favor."

Cid got up from the end of the bed and walked around to where Tifa was laying. He stooped down and kissed her on the cheek. "Get some rest. If anything changes with the old man, I'll let you know."

"Okay." Tifa smiled widely at him and watched him walk out the door.

Several days passed, and Tifa spent at least ten hours a day at Vincent's bedside. He had been moved along with his life support into the infirmary. The bandages had been removed and Vincent's black hair had started to grow back. Although she knew that it would be weeks before he would be able to sense her there, she still remained, not able to bear being separated from him for long. Cid would spend some of the time there with her, helping her pass the hours, especially in the evening. Eventually each night he would finally manage to convince her to go have some dinner and then go to bed.

One morning as Tifa prepared to get ready to go see Vincent, her eyes fell upon the book that he had been reading immediately prior to the surgery. She picked it up and saw that he had left his bookmark several chapters away from the ending.

"You didn't get to finish this I guess," she said to no one as she flipped through the pages. Suddenly she remembered that the doctors had told her several times that the first thing that he would probably get back was his hearing. If that was going to be the case, she now knew what she could do in an effort to fill her days and reach out to Vincent. Tifa took the book with her and went to the infirmary.

When Cid arrived that evening to try and get Tifa to go out to dinner, he saw her hurriedly close the book and set it down at Vincent's bedside. "That's one of those military techno thrillers… not really the kind of book I'd imagine you reading."

Her voice was extremely hoarse. "It's Vincent's."

Cid knit his brow and gave her a strange look. "You've honestly sat here and read to him all day?"

Tifa was a little embarrassed, but wasn't above admitting it to Cid. "I have."

"There's no way he can hear you yet, you know." Cid narrowed his eyes.

"I don't care, it's just something that I feel I have to do." Tifa got up and walked over to him. "I'm really thirsty, let's go."

By late morning of the next day, Tifa had finished the novel. She went back to their room and wrote down the titles of all the books Vincent had read and left on the shelf. They were all by the same author, and there was about two dozen of them. After completing her list, she went up into town and walked to the bookstore.

She went up to the clerk. "Hi there, I was hoping you could help me."

He smiled at her, "Sure, what do you need?"

Tifa pulled out the list she had made and unfolded it before handing it to the man. "I was wondering if you had any Tim Cleary books that aren't on this list?"

"Wow, that's some list," he said, studying it for a moment. "Actually, this is all of them that he has out at the moment. The next one is due to come out in about three months."

Tifa's hopeful expression fell. "Oh… I was really wanting some more."

The clerk's heart sank to see how this news had deflated her. He did, however have a suggestion. "You know, if you like his books, there is another author that writes sort of the same kind of stuff and he's pretty popular as well."

Her smile returned. "Who's that?"

"Dave Braun," he said, "and he has about twenty books published if you're interested."

"I'll take them." Tifa knew that twenty books wouldn't be cheap, but luckily money was no object.

Tifa read. As the weeks went by, her stack of unread novels shrunk by about one every three days. Cid continued to tease her about doing this day in and day out, but it slid right off her back. For some reason or another, continuing to read these books to her husband was the single most important thing to her now. The only time that she would stop was when Angel, Reno, or Cid came by to check on her. Otherwise, she was enveloped in these novels and she herself had even begun to have a liking to these stories despite the fact that a lot of the military jargon within them was beyond her understanding.

Vincent's mind was adrift in a black void. He had no concept of how much time had elapsed. Trying to keep track of it through his sleep and wake cycles had failed. All he could do was think about everything that had happened, but that in itself became tedious and boring before long.

Then one day, four and a half weeks after his surgery something happened. First, there was just a quiet ringing sound coming from somewhere but as the hours passed it became deafening. There was nothing he could do in response to it and was only able to tolerate it by virtue of the fact that it was the first sign that something was happening. Eventually when the ringing reached its peak of volume, it slowly started to abate and was being replaced by something else. There was a droning of some kind, starting to replace the ring. It was unidentifiable at first, but he was finally able to figure out what it was. Even though he couldn't yet make out the exact words, he could tell by the tone that it was a voice, and it was Tifa. Just as he realized what he was hearing, it stopped and Vincent was disappointed.

What had happened was that Tifa had left for the night, but when she returned the following morning, she picked up the book she had been reading the night before and started again. Vincent again heard her and this time he was actually able to make out the words even though they were still quite muted.

Her voice was his first link back to the outside world and the first words that he made out confused him.

"The Major had never been one to back down, but in this case, he would make an exception. He walked away from his CO and headed up to the flight deck, needing to leave the room before he hit the old man."

It didn't take Vincent too long to figure out that Tifa was reading to him. He also realized that it wasn't a book that he had ever read before and he was immediately touched that she had not only noticed the type of books that he liked, but moreover that she had gotten a new one. Listening to her read gave him something to concentrate on and by figuring out that she would read and then leave for the night finally gave him some way of knowing when days would pass. Best of all, every morning when she would arrive, and every night before she would leave, she would tell him that she loved him.

Vincent had been able to hear for five days, and his hearing was now much improved. Tifa was sitting reading to him as was her usual when Dr. Arlin came in with a young man at her side.

She placed the book down and looked at the doctor. "Good morning."

Janice smiled. "Hi Tifa. This is Greg, he works up in the hospital in town. I've asked him to come to perform a test today on Vincent. It will only take a few minutes."

"What's the test for?" Tifa asked, being intensely interested in anything happening to her husband.

"Well," Greg said, setting down the laptop computer he had in his hands, "this is a test we perform on all newborn babies at the hospital. I put a few electrodes on his head and neck, and then give him a headset that will emit some sounds. If he is able to hear, I'll be able to pick up a signal from him."

Tifa had never heard of such a thing. "You can do that?"

He chuckled as he got to untangling the wires to the electrodes. "Of course, we've had this test for a few years now. It's pretty cool, huh?"

"I'd say." Tifa watched on with great interest, eager to see what the test would show.

Once the electrodes and headphones were placed, Greg hit a few keys on his computer and the test ran itself. Within a few minutes, his computer beeped indicating the completion of the test.

He examined the screen for a few seconds and the looked at Tifa. "He can hear."

Her eyes went wide and she stood up quickly enough to send her chair crashing backwards. "Oh my God!"

"This is wonderful!" Janice couldn't contain her excitement, either. "This means that the grafts are healing! I've got to go call some of the neurologists…"

"Vincent, you're really getting better!" Tifa said, leaning down and kissing him.

Dr. Arlin quickly left the room, feeling an urgent need to go talk to some of the surgeons that had worked on Vincent, wanting to tell them the good news. Greg also left after packing back up his test equipment.

After picking her chair back up, Tifa sat again. She was so thrilled at this first glimmer of improvement that she could hardly contain herself. "I'm so happy this is working, Vincent. I can't wait to go tell everyone else. I hope you like the books I got you."

Vincent too was excited. He had been waiting to be able to give Tifa some sign that he was doing well and now he had. He just wished that he could tell her how much he appreciated what she was doing for him, but that was yet to come.

"Vincent, I'm going to go out so that I can tell the others, okay?" Tifa again gave him a quick kiss before leaving the room.

She went first to Angel and Reno's room, finding them both there.

Reno opened the door upon hearing her knock. "Here for a three way?"

Tifa crossed her arms and rolled her eyes. "Jeez, don't you ever stop?"

"I can't help my amazing stamina," Reno laughed back, stepping aside so Tifa could enter. "It's not like you to pull yourself away from Sleeping Beauty this early."

"I just came from there, and I have some news," Tifa said, giddy with excitement. "They just ran a test and it said that Vincent can hear."

Angel got up from the couch. "That's great!"

"So now is the time to go and give him a bunch of crap since he can't fight back, huh?" Reno suddenly looked thoughtful.

Tifa ignored him, and continued facing Angel. "I've got to go find Cid and tell him, too."

"You go do that," Angel said with a smile. "Reno and I will go see Vincent."

Tifa nodded and left their room as quickly as she had arrived. She didn't have to guess where Cid would be, knowing good and well that he would be with Brad in the hanger as was his normal.

Cid looked up from the pile of small engine parts that he had been cleaning for Brad. The baby was lying in the carrier sitting beneath the workbench that Cid was occupying. When he saw Tifa coming toward him, he felt a smile come to his lips. "You actually pulled yourself away from the riveting action in the infirmary?"

She giggled and leaned against the bench. "I had to come and tell you the good news."

"What's that?" Cid wiped his greasy hands on a rag before throwing it back onto the surface before him.

"A test just showed that Vincent can hear." Her happiness over this fact was boiling over.

Cid raised his eyebrows. "Wow… that's really good. I guess we know that something at least is getting better inside him then."

"Yeah, that's what the doctor said."

"I guess I'll have to watch what I say around him now, huh? I don't want to piss the son of a bitch off. I've seen him mad before." Cid smiled slightly in his amusement.

"Right." Tifa reciprocated his expression. "I'm hoping that this means that before too long he might start doing other things."

"Don't set yourself up for disappointment, Tifa." Cid was above all else a realist and had paid close attention to everything that the doctor's had told Tifa that she hadn't necessarily took heed of. "It could be several more weeks before he's able to do anything else. They said that his recuperation would be really drawn out."

Tifa didn't let his pessimism take the wind from her sails. "I know Vincent, and he's not going to waste any time. If there was ever anyone who could beat the expectations of the doctors, it's him."

She did have a point and he knew it. After the things that he had seen Vincent survive, he was aware of exactly how well Vincent could get over physical trauma, but repairing an entire nervous system still seemed a little daunting. Cid also suspected that when Vincent finally did gain motor control, that it wasn't going to be a particularly pleasant sight. The man's movements were bound to be the type of uncoordinated and jerky motions made by those recovering from spinal injuries. He knew that when that time came, such a sight was going to be hard on Tifa and he didn't want her to witness it; at least not now although he couldn't actually think of a good time for it. Then again, the sooner it happened, the sooner it would be over with, assuming of course that Vincent did get better and more or less back to normal. The thought of Vincent not getting to a good state and being severely disabled the rest of his life and Tifa having to cope with that also stung Cid's heart. He admitted his fears. "Tifa, I wish this was all finished and I didn't have to worry about what you're going to go through if things don't turn out right."

Tifa knit her brow and cocked her head. "Vincent is the one going through the worst of this, not me. He won't let me down anyway, so there's no need to worry, Cid. I know it might not be fast, and that there will probably be set backs along the way, but Vincent will get better. I don't have a doubt in my mind, and you shouldn't either."

Her devotion and faith in Vincent impressed the pilot and he smiled again. "I can't believe that bastard managed to get such a good woman. It's not fair."

"What, are you jealous?" Tifa asked, intentionally teasing him.

Cid scoffed, although he had to admit to himself that she was more right than she would ever know. "I couldn't stand to be legally obligated to put up with you forever."

She grinned widely and shoved him playfully.

Before she said the inevitable, Cid mocked her, "I know, I'm terrible, you don't have to say it, I'm saving you the trouble."

"Well thanks for finally realizing it." Tifa reached out and patted him on the back. She couldn't imagine being without him during all of this. "Will you be coming by to get me for dinner?"

"Like always. Someone's got to drag you out of that God forsaken rat hole of a hospital to eat everyday or you'd starve." Cid turned his eyes back to the parts before him. "I better get this piece of crap cleaned and put back together before Brad gets his panties in a bunch."

"I heard that, Highwind," Brad shot back from where ever he was hiding in the hanger.

Cid looked back at Tifa, smiling again. "I'll see you in a little while."

"Okay, see you later." With that, Tifa went back to her husband's side. There were just a few more pages in the current book she was reading him and she wanted to get it done.


	64. 200 Trying

Guilt's Cost: Part 200

Trying

By Kristen Gupton-Williams 

That night, Cid found himself unable to sleep. Although he had managed to drift off initially when he had gotten to bed, he'd promptly had a nightmare about Shera and had been up ever since. His baby was sound asleep in his portable crib; his small snores the only thing breaking up the silence. Tifa had stayed with him, and she too was soundly sleeping leaving Cid alone. Resolving that he was up and was going to stay that way, he quietly slid from the bed and pulled on some pants and a shirt. Knowing that there was nothing he could do within the confines of his room that wouldn't result in waking the others, he slipped out.

The rude glare of the lights in the hall forced him to squint for a few minutes until his eyes adjusted. He shoved his hands into his pockets and wandered the halls for a while before finding himself outside the doors to the infirmary. Something compelled him to go inside to check on Vincent just for the sake of doing so.

Inside the lights were dimmed and the sounds of the various monitors within seemed muted somewhat. On this night, Vincent wasn't the only one in the infirmary. In another bed on the opposite wall was some poor sap who'd managed to get injured earlier that day while working construction inside the base. Tifa had told him the story, it of course being the gruesome type of incident that often plague those who work with power tools for a living, but the man would be fine when all was said and done.

Cid went to Vincent's bedside and pulled up a nearby chair. Although it was against his normal character to do so, he reached out and placed one of his hands over Vincent's. Cid then spoke, quietly enough to ensure that if the other man in the room was awake, that he wouldn't hear. "I wish I knew if you were listening to me right now, but I guess you can't show me at the moment, huh?"

Vincent of course, provided no response, but the fact was that he was awake and listening.

"Yeah, well…" Cid slouched in his chair and let his hand fall away from Vincent's. "In case you're interested, it's about three thirty in the morning. I couldn't sleep. I've been having these nightmares about Shera lately. They're stupid, just the image of walking in after the doctor told me that she was gone; seeing her lying there on the bed."

Again, a small pause passed, as though Cid was giving Vincent the chance to respond.

"I think it's a little strange to be getting these dreams now, after all, it has been a while. I would have thought that I would have gotten these when she first died, but hell, I ain't no psychiatrist. I guess I'll just blame it on you, since you can't defend yourself for the time being. Maybe it's just the thought of Tifa losing you if you don't pull out of this that's making me have them." Cid sighed, feeling a little uneasy discussing this with anyone but at least Vincent was in a state where he couldn't ridicule the pilot for doing so, although in his heart Cid knew Vincent wouldn't have.

As Vincent listened, he felt sorry for Cid. He was aware that Cid would have to be deeply disturbed at the moment to be talking about this at all. Vincent wished that he could give some show of sympathy but it wasn't to be.

"Tifa is being a real trooper about all of this, though. With all the bullshit you've put her through, I can't believe she hasn't cracked under the stress, but somehow she hasn't. Yet I can just go through one crisis with Shera dying and I'm barely able to pull it off. I guess you're woman is stronger than me, Sue."

Inside, Vincent still cringed at hearing himself referred to by one of Cid's pet names. One of his first goals when he was finally able to move was going to have to be to get people to quit making up names for him. Reno and Cid headlined that list.

"Yeah, she's been through the ringer, you know." Cid shook his head and looked at the floor. "Going through Cloud's death, all that crap with that implant, watching you fight Chaos and all that entailed, being held hostage by Hojo, watching Tseng's last hours, and now having to watch you go through this. I know I'm forgetting a bunch of other crap, but you get the point."

The fact that Tifa had endured so much hadn't escaped Vincent's notice and he himself couldn't believe her resiliency.

"She needs… we all need you to make it out of this, Vince." Cid felt a sting in his eyes that he never would have imagined having for Vincent. "Look, I know we haven't always gotten along so well, and a lot of that's my fault. Since you've been with Tifa though, I've slowly started to realize what exactly it is that she sees in you. I feel like a grade A ass for saying that, but it's true. I don't have a lot of friends, Vince. Tifa, Brad, and you are about it. There's Jin too, but that's a little different. I guess I don't really open up to people. You guys are the only ones that I ever have talked to, _really _talked to."

Although Vincent had long suspected that this was all true, to actually hear Cid say it was incredible. In a way, Vincent found it profoundly sad.

Cid wiped his eyes with the back of his hand. "You know, it wasn't until just tonight that Tifa told me what really happened to you in Hojo's lab. How he cut you up while you were awake, how he took your arm to Tifa in a garbage bag. God damn, I knew it was bad what he did to you, but I really didn't know. Up until then I was wondering how you could stand to go through with this, but I think I get it now. I don't know if I'd be brave enough to do it if I was in your position, but I do understand."

Vincent wouldn't have known what to say if he had been capable and for the moment, he was grateful for his physical state.

"If it's okay with you, I'll think I'll just sit here a little while longer," Cid said, settling back into his chair. His exhaustion was finally starting to sink in.

Cid's baby woke up at six in the morning, rousing Tifa from her sleep. Once she realized that Cid was nowhere to be found, she got to the task of changing and feeding the infant. After the baby's needs had been met, she quickly took a shower and dressed. She thought that maybe Cid had gone up to the hanger to get working and she decided that she would head up there to see him after stopping in and checking on Vincent.

She entered the infirmary and stopped in her tracks. There was Cid, sleeping in a chair at Vincent's bedside. She smiled to herself and then looked down at the baby in her arms. "Looks like we found Daddy."

Tifa went forward until she was right in front of Cid. She gently reached out and placed a hand on his shoulder. "Cid?"

He startled out of his sleep, looking up at Tifa wild-eyed. His embarrassment for getting caught here sleeping immediately crushed in on him. "Crap…"

"I was wondering where you were." Tifa bent down and handed him the baby. "I thought you'd be in the hanger. I didn't figure I'd find you here."

Cid stared at his baby and tried to change the subject. "Did he eat yet?"

She laughed, amused at his attempt to take the spotlight of himself. "Of course. I changed him, too. What are you doing here?"

With an incredible effort, Cid managed to get out of the chair that his body had molded to. The stiffness within him was obvious. "I just couldn't sleep. I figured I could keep Sunshine here company for a while."

"How long have you been in here, Cid?" Tifa could see that it had been a while by the way the pilot was moving.

Cid admitted the truth, not having the strength to lie. "Since three thirty."

"Wow…" Tifa was genuinely amazed.

Vincent's next sign of recovery started later that day. Although his eyes were closed, he started seeing flashes of light and color. As his optic nerves healed, the light show intensified until like the ringing in his ears it began to abate. When Dr. Arlin came by that evening to check and see if Vincent had any sort of pupil light response yet, not only did Vincent see for the brief moment that she held his eye open, but there was a reaction to the light she was shining into it. Janice checked his other eye, and saw that it too, reacted to the light. She gasped with excitement as she slipped her pen light back into her pocket.

Tifa had grown familiar with the nightly routine of checks that the doctor had been making over the weeks, and she knew that something was different. "What is it?"

Janice continued to stare at her patient. "His eyes are reacting to light. They aren't just completely dilated anymore. I think he can see."

Tifa launched from her chair and stood over Vincent. "I want to see."

Again the doctor took out her light, held open one of Vincent's eyes and clicked on the light. Not only did his pupil constrict, but this time it seemed as though he tried to close his eye to shut out the light.

Tifa and the doctor stood there speechless. Vincent himself was amazed. Not only could he see, but he had actually felt himself try and close his eye. Having been so focused on listening to the world around him, he hadn't noticed the day before when the slightest bit of sensation had started to return to his eyelids. With every ounce of effort that he could manage, Vincent opened his left eye a tiny amount and saw his wife standing at his side.

Tifa saw him do this and immediately reached down and grabbed his arm. "Vincent, you're looking at me!"

Dr. Arlin needed evidence that this was a conscious action on his part. "Vincent, if you hear and understand me, I want you to blink as best you can."

Although it took him several seconds to respond, Vincent managed to slowly close and then reopen his eye. This time, the right one peered open a little as well.

Janice smiled widely and looked at Tifa. "This is very good. I need to go call some of the neurologists and tell them of this progress!"

With the doctor gone, Tifa found herself alone with Vincent. As she looked at him, Tifa realized that his eyes were no longer the crimson that she had become accustomed to. Instead, they were now a deep reddish brown; another small change that she would have to get used to. She smiled down at him, grateful for this new sign of improvement. "You're getting better. I'm so happy!"

Vincent ached to be able to speak in response but the connections just hadn't been made yet. All he could do was again blink slowly in reply.

Now that he was at least able to communicate in some fashion, Tifa had one question she desperately needed to ask. "Vincent, is your mind okay? I mean, you remember everything and can think normally, right? Blink if you can."

Once more, he did what was asked, this time his response was a little faster as he was getting the hang of moving at least in this small way.

Tifa bent down to give him a kiss, noticing that he closed his eyes as she did so. When she straightened back up, she saw that he opened his eyes once more. He was definitely responsive to things going on around him.

Cid came to take Tifa to dinner as usual, seemingly thrilled at the new progress that Vincent had made. Tifa left for a moment to go to the bathroom, leaving Cid alone with Vincent.

Cid leaned over and into Vincent's line of sight. His expression betrayed how self-conscious he was feeling at the moment. "Hey… were you listening last night?"

Vincent just blinked slowly in response.

Cid nodded slightly, understanding Vincent's reply as affirmative. "Good. 'Cause I sure as hell ain't gonna say it again."

Inside, Vincent was amused and closed his eyes for a second. He never would have imagined in a million years that Cid would have actually shown genuine concern for him.

Tifa finally emerged and she kissed Vincent quickly before leaving for the evening. "I'll see you in the morning… and I guess you'll actually see me, too."

When they had finished eating, Tifa suddenly looked thoughtful. She realized there was something that she needed to do.

Cid caught her expression. "What's on your mind?"

"Well," she started while pushing her plate back, "I was thinking that I should stop by the lab and thank Quigley and Porter. None of this would have been possible without them. Plus the times they fixed Vincent's cybernetic body when it got messed up... I really owe them a lot."

Cid nodded in agreement. "Yeah, they've really come through. Me and the kid are gonna go turn in. I'll leave the door unlocked if you want to come by later."

"Okay." Tifa remained where she sat for a few minutes as Cid got up and left. She found it endearing how he walked around with the baby in his arms all the time. He had become a very good father and she was proud of him.

She eventually made her way to Porter and Rayna's room, fully expecting to find him there at this late an hour. Tifa knocked on the door and Rayna answered.

"Is Porter in?" she asked.

Rayna shook her head and smiled. "No, he's with Quigley in the lab still. They've been working on something that's been keeping them pretty engrossed."

"Oh," Tifa wasn't too shocked to hear this, "I'll go check with them in the lab then. I sort of wanted to talk to the both of them anyway."

Rayna just nodded and shut the door.

Once at the door to the lab she tried to enter, but found it locked. Not knowing what else to do, she knocked.

A few minutes later Porter opened the door, but instead of letting her in, he stepped out into the hall and closed the door behind him. "Tifa, what are you doing here?"

"I was hoping to come in and have a word with you and Quigley," Tifa answered, immediately curious as to what was going on inside.

Porter looked back behind him at the door and then drew in a breath through clenched teeth before turning to face her. "Yeah, uh, I don't think that's such a good idea at the moment. I don't think you want to go in there right now."

Whatever they could be hiding inside couldn't possibly be worse than what she had witnessed in Hojo's lab and she grinned. "Why, what is it you're up to?"

He instantly grew uncomfortable with what he was going to have to tell her. He ran his hands over his face, trying to come up with a way to tell her without sounding morbid. "Well, you know that Quigley and I were given Vincent's old body after the surgery, right?"

"Of course." Tifa had been aware of this fact from the outset and hadn't been bothered by it in the least. She knew full well that there was a wealth of knowledge to be gained from studying what had been her husband and hadn't objected.

"Okay, well, Quigley and I dissected the tissues from the body quite a while back, so those are gone, leaving just the cybernetic portion." Porter looked into her eyes for any negative sign.

"That isn't all that bad, Porter." Her smile returned. "Seeing just the mechanical part of what was once attached to him lying around isn't that shocking after what I've seen."

"Yeah, it's not just lying there though." Porter braced himself for any reaction.

Tifa just became more interested. "What?"

He sighed and hung his head. "I'll let you in. Quigley's inside."

With the door opened for her by the former Turk, Tifa went in. What she saw was strange to say the least. There in the center of the room stood Quigley and standing next to him was the remainder of Vincent's body. There were several wires hanging between the scientist and the cybernetic form. When Quigley turned to see who was coming in with Porter, Vincent's body mirrored his actions perfectly.

Tifa brought her hands up to her mouth. "Oh my God, what are you doing?"

Porter placed a hand on her shoulder. "We wanted to see if we could get the components to respond to our own nervous signals so we could study how it receives and interprets them."

Quigley smiled at seeing Tifa and interjected, "However, we found out that we can do more than just move it."

"What do you mean?" Tifa asked, stepping closer. The sight of Vincent's decapitated form standing next to the scientist mocking his every move was bizarre.

Quigley raised up his right hand, causing the machine to do the same. "Not only can I control it, Tifa, but I can actually _feel_ it. We never thought that it was possible to get real feelings transmitted through cybernetic components, but… but we do. With this technology, the things were are going to be able to do for amputees is incredible."

Tifa suddenly had a strange request. If they could not only move the body but feel what it felt, she somehow needed to experience it for herself so that she could know what Vincent had been through. "I want to try it."

Porter put his hands on his hips and frowned. "I don't know, Tifa. We not only have electrodes on Quigley's body to patch him into the thing, but there are a few needles going into some of his nerves."

The prospect of a little pain wasn't enough to divert her from wanting to experience it herself. "I don't care, I really do want to know."

Quigley, always one to accommodate others and let them do things for themselves didn't have a problem with it. The fact was that he had been hooked up to the thing now for about twelve hours and he was ready to be done with it. "All right. Porter, help me get unhooked from this thing."

Porter shook his head as he walked to Quigley, disbelieving that Tifa was willing to go through with what seemed to him a foolish want. It took them a good fifteen minutes to get Quigley separated from all the electrodes and then a few more minutes to remove the needles that had been driven into a few key nerves of his body.

Once he was freed, Quigley pulled back on his shirt that had been thrown across a chair and he waved Tifa over.

After watching what the scientist had just gone through to get separated from the thing, she modified her request a bit. "Can we just hook up one of my arms? I think that will be enough, I don't want to put you guys out too much."

"Sure, no problem," Quigley said with his usual lazy smile. "Push the sleeve to your shirt up over your shoulder."

Tifa did as requested and watched as Quigley began taping several electrodes to her upper arm. When they were in place, he picked up a small paper envelope from a nearby table and opened it. Tifa could see that it was filled with things that didn't look too different from acupuncture needles. "How many of those are you going to use?"

Quigley made eye contact with her. "For just the arm, you'll need three of them in order to get back signals from the body. It's actually not that bad. I promise I won't hurt you. I put the ones that were in me myself so you know it can't be that awful."

Suddenly Tifa felt a spike of anxiety but forced herself through it. "Okay, just be quick about it."

The scientist again smiled, knowing that what she thought she was going to feel as the needles were placed was worse than reality. It only took him a little over a minute to get all three needles inserted into her arm and then hooked up to the corresponding wires.

When she was hooked up completely, Quigley walked over to the cybernetic body and put his hand inside an opened a panel on the torso. He looked back at Tifa. "Are you ready for this?"

She just nodded, waiting for any sort of sensation.

"All right, get ready for the weirdest thing you've ever felt." Quigley flipped something within the body, causing it to power up.

Tifa's arm was rocked with what felt like an electric shock for a moment before suddenly feeling very heavy. Her brain struggled to cope with the sensation of not only her actual arm, but the feeling of the cybernetic one as well. Her eyes went wide with awe as she slowly raised her arm, causing the mechanical body to do the same. "Oh dear God…"

Quigley walked around her, watching as she slowly rotated her wrist and opened and closed the hand several times. "It's unusual, isn't it?"

"Yeah…" Tifa was speechless as she watched Vincent's former arm copy her every move. When she closed her hand, she could feel the cybernetic one close and touch itself. The amount of tactile sensation she was fed back from the limb was incredible. Pressure and touch were readily sent back to her by the machine, although in a slightly different manner than what her own body gave her. Moreover, she could sense the servos and hydraulics working within the arm as it moved, parts that she didn't know could ever be felt. It was so surreal. "This is what he felt all that time?"

"Right," Quigley knew exactly what it was like. "Having the whole body hooked up to you is really some stuff."

The oddness this arm gave her alone was enough and she now had no desire to feel what the rest of the body was like. After just a few more minutes of manipulating the arm and hand, Tifa had experienced plenty. "Okay, I think I've had enough."

"All righty." Quigley soon came over and began to disconnect her.

As she was freed of the machine, she realized she had a new understanding for Vincent. No wonder he had been so desperate to have his own body back. Even just having been hooked to the machine for a short while, she knew that the feelings and sensations from it were alien and although better than nothing, would not pass for something natural.

When the last electrode and needle was pulled from her, she pushed her sleeve back down. "That's amazing… I always wondered what he could or couldn't feel with that thing."

Quigley sat down in a chair, exhausted from his day's work. "I know, it's different, that's for sure. I wish Porter would try it, but he won't."

The former Turk frowned as he also landed in a seat. "There is no way I'm doing that, I have absolutely no desire whatsoever. Gives me the willies." He turned his gaze to Tifa. "So, you said before that there was something that you wanted to talk to us about?"

"Oh, right." With what she had just gone through, the initial reason for her visit had slipped her mind. "Well, now that Vincent is showing some real signs of improvement, I just thought that I should thank the two of you. Without you guys, he would have died a long time ago and he never would have had the chance to get his body back."

Both Quigley and Porter were unaccustomed to such praise. The two of them exchanged glances.

"Tifa," Quigley started, "we were happy to do it. It was good just to see that something that we got from Hojo was actually effecting some positive change. Vincent deserves to be normal and getting him there, well, it's our duty."

"Yeah," Porter agreed, "there's no need to thank us. All in a day's work, although be it an odd line of work to be in. After all that this organization did for me, I'll do anything to help anyone here, especially Vincent. If it wasn't for him and his convincing me that ASRIO could help Rayna, she would be dead."

Tifa appreciated their humble attitude, but nonetheless, they had saved the most precious thing in her life several times and for that she would always be grateful. "Well, I do thank you and owe you two a huge debt. If either of you ever need anything, I'm here for you."

As the days passed, Vincent began to feel more and more of his face. His sense of smell came back and he began to be able to move his lips, although the movement wasn't coordinated in anyway and he wasn't yet able to mouth out words. This didn't stop him from trying whenever he was alone. He knew the only way to learn how to move again was to practice and since he really had nothing else to do, that is exactly what he did.

About a week after he had opened his eyes, he heard some sort of monitor next to him begin to go off. Tifa, who was at his side put down the book she had been reading to him and stood, trying to figure out where the noise was coming from.

Dr. Arlin quickly came in and pushed a button on the machine that was breathing for Vincent.

With her heart rate returning to normal, Tifa looked at Janice. "What was that? Is something wrong?"

The doctor looked thoughtful for a moment. "No, that was just the ventilator alerting to the fact that it's meeting some resistance." She pointed at Vincent's chest. "He's fighting the machine."

Had Tifa been watching, she would have noticed that over the last hour Vincent's breaths given to him by the machine had started to sound less smooth. His nervous system had now healed to the point that the unconscious functions of his body were beginning to re-establish themselves. She saw between the breaths he was now receiving that his chest would move slightly, as his lungs tried to change the rate at which they were receiving air. "Does this mean he can come off of the ventilator?"

Janice raised her eyebrows and pulled off her glasses. "Most likely. Are you going to be here for the next few hours?"

It was still early enough that Tifa had no intention of leaving. "Yes."

"Okay. If you're going to be here to watch him, I'll unhook him from the ventilator. I'll keep the endotracheal tube in him hooked up to an apnea monitor to make sure that he keeps breathing on his own and that if he doesn't, we can get him hooked back up quickly." She reached down and disconnected the ventilator tube from his tracheostomy. "Even if the monitor doesn't go off, if you think anything seems amiss, you come and get me, all right?"

Tifa nodded in agreement, thrilled that Vincent had made yet another large step towards regaining control. Before the doctor left the room, Tifa did have one question, "Doctor, if he keeps breathing on his own, when can we get the tracheostomy in his neck closed up and let him breath normally?"

"Well, theoretically, his healing should be a one way street and if he does well throughout the rest of the day, I will take care of it tomorrow morning."

Tifa accepted this in stride, just wanting to no longer see the unnatural sight of the tube protruding from her husband's neck. "In the morning it is, then. I know he'll do just fine."

Vincent listened to all this, more than pleased with this development. Since he couldn't feel any of his body below his neck he had been surprised to learn that he was breathing on his own and he knew that if these sorts of signals were getting through that his spine must be well on its way to being healed. He suspected that it wouldn't be much longer before some sensation came back.

With the ventilator now unhooked, Tifa stood over Vincent, staring intently as he took the first breaths on his own. The smile she was wearing grew a little with each respiration. "One less machine, one less tube."

He blinked up at her, trying his best to smile and to his surprise, he felt the left corner of his mouth actually obey and pull up into a faint grin.

Tifa saw this and squealed, "You just smiled!"

The doctor, who hadn't gotten very far heard Tifa's outburst and ran back in. "What's wrong?"

Tifa at once realized that the doctor had just been scared that something was happening. She pointed down at Vincent. "He just smiled at me!"

Janice sighed, relieved that nothing was amiss. "Oh… well, that's good to know. I'll write it in his chart."

Being by far more razzed at the fact that Vincent had just done what he had done, Tifa quickly turned her attention to her husband and away from the doctor. "You're going to put the expectations of all the doctors to shame, I'm afraid."

Again, Vincent managed to smile ever so slightly.

Cid came to get her and as the evening wore on, they turned into his room. He put the baby to sleep as usual in the playpen and then slipped into bed. Tifa laid down beside him, as she had grown rather accustomed to doing since Vincent's surgery. Things were normal until Cid started to dream.

This time, it wasn't the nightmare he had been having about Shera, although he would later prefer that to have been what he had dreamt. Instead, he found himself having a dream about he and Tifa making love. It was one of those dreams that one has without any reason to it, but none the less leaves the dreamer feeling uneasy. Just as he was about to climax in his sleep, Cid woke with a start and hastily got out of bed. He stood there for a moment trying to calm himself down and gather his nerves.

Tifa was jostled awake by his leap from the bed and she sat up, afraid that something was terribly wrong. "Cid, what's going on?"

There was absolutely no way that he was going to confess what he had just envisioned, intentional or not. He tried to think of something else to tell her but drew a blank in his momentarily confused state. All he could do in response was shrug weakly in the darkness.

It was obvious from his body language that something was very wrong with the pilot and Tifa felt the need to try again. "Cid?"

He gathered himself as best he could and sat back down on the edge of the bed. Cid still found himself breathing a little harder than normal. "Tifa, we can't do this anymore."

She reached over and flicked on the lamp next to the bed. "What?"

He motioned at the bed. "This… we can't do this anymore. It's not okay."

"But you always said that as long as it was just sleep as in sleep, that it was fine." Tifa was confused and a bit hurt by his sudden need to separate himself from her. "Why is it a problem now when we've shared a bed dozens of times?"

"Look," Cid slouched before continuing, knowing that he had just hurt her feelings, "it's not that I think something is going to happen or anything. Somehow, despite everything great about you, I've never been compelled to try. Even though nothing ever has happened, nor will it, this just can't keep going on."

Tifa soon had an inkling that Cid had just had a dream of some sort or another, but whether it was about her or another nightmare regarding Shera she didn't know and didn't dare ask. "Well, if that's how you feel, than that's that."

He turned so he could look at her straight on. "Tifa, I know we're friends, really good friends in fact, but the truth is that I am a man and you're… well, you're obviously not. Tell me this; how would you feel if Vincent and you switched places and you weren't around for whatever reason? Then say, and I hate to use this example but I'm too tired to give a rat's ass, that Aeris was around and they started sleeping together. Just like us, no sex, just sleep. Wouldn't you still be a little unhappy with that?"

Tifa had never thought of it in those terms before. Cid and her had clung to each other, perhaps a little too much but only out of their mutual need for support, not sexual attraction. She knew that even though Vincent had seemed all right about what he knew was going on, Tifa was well aware that if the tables had been reversed, she would have been upset with Vincent on many levels. She suddenly felt selfish for never having looked at it this way and she hung her head. "Oh my God, you're right…"

Cid reached over and patted her leg through the sheet. "I don't think it's a big deal if we sleep in the same room, but I think from now on we shouldn't sleep in the same bed."

Tifa was relieved that he wasn't going to push her that far away. She still felt she needed him nearby and being in the same room with Cid would at least give her the security that she required to get through the nights. "So, do I get the couch or you?"

He smiled at her. "I sleep on that couch enough during the day to be pretty damn used to it by now. I can crash there."

"Are you sure?" she asked, not wanting him to sacrifice his physical well being for her sake.

"Yeah, it's no big deal. Besides, this way I won't wake you up when I get the baby taken care of in the night," Cid said while standing back up and grabbing his pillow. "Now go back to sleep so that you'll be ready for yet another riveting day of reading to Sunshine."

In the morning, Tifa returned to Vincent's bedside to find that he had managed to go all night without being put back on the ventilator. He opened his eyes as she neared him and pulled off another smile. Truth was, he had practiced doing so well into the night to make sure that he could keep it up. Seeing Tifa's reaction made it worth while.

Dr. Arlin saw Tifa arrive and came over. "Well, looks like he gets the tube out."

Tifa clasped her hands over her chest, excited for this. "Great!"

"Actually, this will give us an idea of what some of his reflexes are," Janice said as she reached down and began to undo some of the tape holding the trecheostomy collar in place. Once it was loose, she deflated the cuff to the endotracheal tube in preparation for pulling it out. She looked at Tifa momentarily. "If he can feel in his neck and throat, he may do some coughing and gagging when I pull this out. I just don't want you to be surprised, okay?"

Tifa nodded in response and then looked down into Vincent's eyes. Instantly, she saw fear there. She bent down, took his hand into hers and spoke to him quietly, "This will only take a second. It's nothing compared to what you've been through, okay?"

He made a piteous expression with his eyes before closing them.

Janice, upon seeing that he was ready, pulled the tube out in one fluid motion.

Vincent suddenly felt the uncontrollable urge to both gag and swallow at the same time. He felt his body wracked with a coughing fit and without realizing it, he managed to squeeze Tifa's hand.

Tifa was so engrossed in watching Vincent go through his momentary troubles that she almost didn't realize that he was grasping her hand in return until she tried to let go. "Doctor! He's holding my hand, look!"

Janice's eyes went wide as she watched Tifa raise her hand slightly with Vincent's latched on for all it was worth. "From the research we had from Hojo, by all accounts he shouldn't be able to do that yet!"

Vincent's eyes went wide as he realized that he was holding onto his wife. He'd had no sensation anywhere in his body until now. He had felt the tube pulled from his neck and now felt his hand. Vincent didn't dare let go of Tifa, fearing that once he did, it might be a while until he figured out how to control his hand well enough to touch her again.

Dr. Arlin continued to stare at their joined hands for a few moments. "I'm going to go get a suture kit so I can close that hole in his neck. When I'm done, I'll call the physical therapist to let him know that it's time for him to come down and start working with Vincent."

"Even though the only thing he's moved so far is his hand?" Tifa asked, still clinging to him.

"Yes," Janice replied while pushing her glasses up higher, "the therapist can start with that, helping him to begin building strength and trying to stimulate him into moving other parts of his body. The sooner we start that sort of work with him, the better the outcome will be. He has a lot of coordination to re-master and muscle to build."

Tifa nodded in agreement as the doctor's words made sense. Not wanting to be left out, she asked, "Do you think the therapist will show me how to help get Vincent moving? I'd really like to take part in that. It would make me feel like I was helping."

"Actually, I think that's a great idea." Janice smiled. "The more he's worked with, the quicker he'll get back in control. I know the therapist pretty well as I've sent a lot of patients to him over the years and he's always willing to help family members learn some of the exercises."

Tifa seemed pleased to hear this and grinned. "Great. When do you think he'll start coming by?"

"I've had him alerted to this for a while now, so he's been expecting it. I'd bet he comes by today at least to get aquatinted with the two of you." Janice had one more suggestion before she left the room, "For the time being, you might want to keep touching his hand. The more he feels stimulus there, the better his ability to control it will be. It will help his mind make the connections faster."

"Okay," Tifa replied, looking back down at where their hands were touching.

Cid was in the cafeteria getting something for lunch. He sat alone at a table, his son resting in his carrier beside his chair. After a while, he found himself day dreaming and was startled when he felt someone come up and put their hands on his shoulders. He turned to look behind him. "Oh, Jin, it's you."

She smiled down at Cid and then bent over and gave the sleeping baby a kiss before landing in the seat next to him. They had gone out several times since he had returned to the base. "Yeah, I just thought I'd come down and see what you were up to."

He couldn't help but reciprocate her grin. Cid had become increasingly interested in her with every date they'd gone on, but he had yet to try and even kiss her. He was taking it slow, perhaps a little slower than Jin would have liked. Cid shrugged and replied, "Not much. Just been hanging out, dragging Tifa away from Sue every now and then."

"How's he been doing?" Jin asked, not having gone to see Vincent for herself as she had a huge aversion to going into the infirmary. She wouldn't even go there when she was sick or hurt, so it went without saying that she wouldn't go there for social visits.

"Seems to be getting better. Tifa let's me know every time he does anything. I guess that's all she's got to do for the time being, though." Cid stared down at the remainder of the sandwich on his plate, suddenly realizing that whenever he spoke to Jin, it seemed that he only really talked about Tifa. Certainly the mechanic was bound to get annoyed at some point with his constant talk of the other woman. "I'm sorry…"

She narrowed her eyes and leaned forward. "Sorry about what?"

He shoved his plate back and turned in his seat to face her straight on. "I just realized that I seem to talk about Tifa a little too much. You're probably sick of it."

Jin shook her head. She had never been the jealous type and hadn't given it a second thought. "She's your best friend and she's going through a lot right now, of course you talk about her. It doesn't bother me."

Part of him suspected that she was just being kind. He had to make a confession that might end the relationship right here and now. "I've let her spend the night with me in my bed. Several times, in fact. All we did was sleep, but the other night, I started to feel really bad about it, like it was wrong and I put and end to it. It was bothering me that even though nothing was going on between she and I, that it was inappropriate considering that she is married and that I'm with you."

Two things immediately struck Jin. First, she was a little surprised to hear that they had been sleeping together like that, but Jin knew that if he said that nothing had happened between them, then nothing _had_. Secondly, this was the first time that Cid had given any mention to the fact that she and he were a couple. "You're with me?"

Cid raised his eyebrows, not sure what her response meant. "Yeah, we've been going out for a while…"

Her smile returned. "You know, with the fact that you've never once called me your girlfriend nor have you so much as kissed me, I was starting to think that we were just going to be friends."

He became thoughtful for a moment. Even though they never had discussed having a relationship, Cid had just assumed that they were in one after about the third time they went out. After all, he and Shera had ended up together without ever having addressed the subject and he had tried to slide into another relationship with Jin in much the same way. As for not having made any advances, again, that just wasn't his style. As outgoing as he was, when it came to physical intimacy, Cid had never been much of an instigator. He was too laid back in these ways and it had led Jin to think that he wasn't interested. Swallowing his pride, Cid decided to address the subject now and get everything out onto the table like he should have done before. "I've thought we were a couple for a while now. I really do like you."

"I like you a lot, too." Her smile didn't fade. "I've been waiting for you to give me some sign that we were going to take this to the next level for a while, but I didn't push it since I knew that you were still taking your wife's passing pretty hard."

"Yeah, it's still hurts but it always will. I can't let that keep me from getting on with my life though, right?" Although this sort of conversation would have made him die of embarrassment with almost anyone else, with Jin it felt all right.

"Hey, when you're ready, you know I'll be here. None of the other men around here ever had the stones to even ask me out. You're not like them. You're a real man, and that's what got my attention in the first place," Jin said, dropping her gaze away, feeling color come to her cheeks.

Cid had noticed how the others, especially the crewmen of the airship, seemed to have a general consensus going that Jin was, for lack of a better term, a bitch. He had seen that for himself on his first encounter with her, but since then she had shown him a side that no one else had ever been privy to. Truth be told, he in turn had shown her his own softer side, the one that only Tifa and Shera had ever witnessed. "They don't know what they were missing."

She giggled to herself, feeling self-conscious.

He continued to look at her, realizing that having her with him more than just on their occasional dates was really appealing. Since Shera's death, he had been very lonely and although he had used Tifa to some degree to try and fill that void, he had always known that she could never completely be his. Jin however, could be and was willing it seemed. It was becoming increasingly clear to Cid that he wasn't doing as well on his own as he pretended. He needed a woman at his side who cared for him beyond friendship. Jin was that woman. Even the way she interacted with his baby seemed completely natural. When they were together and had the child with them, she always managed to pick up the baby whenever he fussed before Cid could. He needed to let her know that he was serious about this relationship. Cid leaned toward her slightly and reached out to place a hand beneath her chin. He pulled her forward until their lips met.


	65. 201 Over The Hill

Guilt's Cost: Part 201

Over the Hill

By Kristen Gupton-Williams

By the time Tifa was ready to leave the infirmary for the night, she was exhausted. It had been hard for her to watch as the doctor had sutured close the tracheostomy in Vincent's neck; his eyes had been filled with fear as Janice had worked on him. Tifa had remained at his side, holding his hand and talking to him gently throughout. Soon after that had been finished, the physical therapist arrived and he had talked to Tifa at length while working with Vincent. As she had hoped, he had shown her several exercises that she could put Vincent through in order to help his progress along. The therapist was scheduled to come by everyday for three hours at a time. Vincent was also tired after the day he'd been through, and he had been sleeping for a while before Tifa actually left.

Tifa shuffled down the hall toward her room after stopping by the cafeteria for a quick dinner. Cid had usually come to retrieve her from the infirmary every night but hadn't shown up this evening. She wondered where he was and what he was doing since it wasn't like him to break a routine once he'd settled into one. As she started to pass the door to his room on the way to her own she paused, debating whether or not to see if he was in. She knew she was actually tired enough to be able to sleep in her own room tonight, but she was still compelled to see if he was there.

She grabbed the doorknob to enter, but found that the door was locked. Immediately she wondered what was going on, since he had never locked the door before. Tifa knocked to see if he would answer.

He didn't answer right away and when he did, he only opened to door a crack. "Tifa?"

She could see by the look on his face that she was bothering him. From the little of him that she could see through the cracked door, Tifa could see that he was shirtless. "Oh, is this a bad time?"

Cid frowned for a second, looking back over his shoulder at something within the room for a moment before looking at her again. He opened the door just a little more so that Tifa could peek inside. "I'm sort of _busy_, Tifa."

She tried to see around him, looking for the baby. Her heart leapt into her throat when she spotted Jin lying in the bed behind him, under the sheets. Tifa felt herself flush red instantly and she took a step back. "Oh… Oh God, I'm sorry! I'll… I'll get going."

"Wait." Cid motioned for her to stay put and he disappeared inside for a second. He returned a few seconds later with his son and the diaper bag. "Do you think that maybe you could keep him for a little? I kinda need him out of the room."

"Sure," Tifa replied, not making eye contact with him while accepting the baby. Truth be told, Tifa was feeling really self-conscious for having interrupted and just wanted to get away. Once the baby was safely in her arms, she quickly started to retreat down the hall.

Cid watched her leave for a bit before closing the door and turning back to Jin. "Sorry about that."

She smiled and patted the bed next to her. "Now that the kid's gone, we can get serious about this."

Cid cocked an eyebrow and quickly made his way back to her side.

Tifa entered her room and hastily closed the door. She sat on the floor with the baby and sighed heavily. The thought of what Cid was doing back in his room amused her on some level and she shook her head while playing with the baby. "Well, looks like your Dad is back in action."

The baby boy was old enough now to laugh and smile and produced a giggle at the expression that Tifa was wearing.

She smiled in return. "I can't believe he's doing that. I was sort of starting to think that he was never going to get over Shera enough to do anything. I guess he likes that Jin woman a little more than he's been letting on. I should have figured that I wouldn't be able to keep him all to myself forever. Well, at least I don't have to be alone tonight, right little man?"

Again, the baby giggled at her as she took him back up into her arms. Being several months old now, he was able to sit on his own and interact with those around him. This was Tifa's favorite age for babies as they were entertaining to be around. She didn't mind at all being asked to keep the baby for the night.

Tifa took the baby to the bed where she continued to play with him until they both fell asleep.

Several hours later, Tifa heard a knock at her door. She got up in the darkness and flipped on the light before answering. Upon opening the door, she saw Cid standing there in his boxers and a tee shirt. "Hey…"

He smiled through his tiredness. "Got my kid around here?"

Tifa stepped aside so he could come in and then closed the door. "He's asleep."

Cid went over and inspected his son, not daring to wake him. He sighed heavily and looked back over at Tifa. "He's been good?"

"Of course," Tifa smiled, sitting back on her side of the bed, "he's always a happy baby."

He nodded knowingly and came over to sit at Tifa's side. "Thanks for taking him for me."

Tifa could see that there was something bothering Cid and a question came to her mind. "Where's Jin?"

He shrugged. "She had to go back to the airship. It was leaving at midnight and she had to be onboard."

His tone was betraying something and she knew it. Tifa examined him closely.

Cid caught her stare and figured he knew what was on her mind. "We didn't do it, if that's what you're wondering."

Tifa raised her eyebrows, a little shocked. From what she had seen when she had stopped by his room earlier, she had sort of figured that they already had. "Oh…"

Cid stretched and scratched the back of his head. "Yeah."

Sex had been the one thing that Tifa had always forbidden herself from talking to Cid about, knowing that it was something that he wouldn't be comfortable with but something inside her said that the reason he had come by this late was to talk about just that. She dared to ask, "Why not? It looked like that was what was going on when I came by earlier."

Despite the fact that he was horribly uncomfortable with the subject at hand, he had a need to talk about it. "Well, that's where we were headed, but…" He looked down at the floor and slumped forward. "This is embarrassing, but I couldn't."

Tifa hated to ask, but needed clarification, "Couldn't or wouldn't?"

"I'm not sure there's a difference in this case." Cid moved and laid down on his side next to his son, propping himself up on an elbow. "I wanted to, God damn I wanted to and so did she, but when we got to that point, you know, I couldn't get the equipment to cooperate, if you catch my drift."

The fact that Cid had just admitted something like that to Tifa intrigued her. She wasn't really sure what she was supposed to say in response. "Oh…"

"Jin seemed to understand and didn't get mad or anything, but I'm scared that she's not going to want to be with me after something that awkward." Cid felt some color come to his cheeks.

"Oh Cid," Tifa laid down on her side as well, facing him, "you're not the first guy to ever have that problem. It happens all the time, you know."

"Not to me it doesn't." Cid allowed himself to fall onto his back so that he could continue the discussion without having to look at her. "In all my years, I've had a perfect track record."

"Cid, you've been under a lot more stress in the last few months than you've probably ever been in your life," Tifa said quietly.

"I'm also getting old, Tifa." He turned his head so he could look at her for a moment. "February was two months ago."

The fact was that February had gone by without Tifa's notice, since her days had all become a blur. "Oh my gosh, I forgot your birthday!"

"Yeah," he resumed staring at the ceiling, "I'm forty."

Tifa couldn't think of a response to that. She did feel bad for having forgotten that his birthday was coming up and had now passed.

"Yeah, and it was on my last birthday that this baby was conceived." Cid again turned his head, this time to look at his son.

Tifa suddenly had a suspicion _why_ Cid hadn't been able to perform tonight. "You were thinking about that, huh?"

"I haven't been able to get it out of my mind." Cid sat up. "I was talking with Jin earlier today and I decided that I did want to take our relationship further. When she showed back up at my door tonight, I knew what I wanted to do with her but in the back of my mind the entire time, I kept thinking about my last birthday…"

"Well, maybe the timing was just bad then." Tifa really did want to comfort him. "Just wait a while and I'm sure you'll do just fine."

"I don't know, part of me says that I'll still feel like I'm cheating on Shera." Cid leaned forward, putting his head in his hands.

Tifa was heartbroken for her friend. She got to her knees and climbed over behind Cid and draped her arms around his shoulders. "Cid, you're not cheating on her, she's gone. You know as well as I do that she would just want you to be happy."

"I know that logically, but in my heart…" his words trailed off as he felt tears come to his eyes. "Besides, like I said before, I think I really let Jin down tonight. I think she's been waiting for us to, you know… for a while now."

"If Jin really cares about you and I think she does, then she'll be able to get over this one time. She knows what you've been through. I think you're being a lot harder on yourself than she is." Tifa tightened the hold she had on him.

He knew Tifa was right. "Yeah, she didn't seem upset when she left or anything. My pride was just seriously dented."

"So, are you going to be okay?" Tifa asked.

"I think so." Cid smiled faintly. "I feel better."

"Good." Tifa nuzzled into the back of his neck. "I like being able to help you."

The way she was holding him at the moment got his attention. "Well, if you want to help me see if I can get it to work now that'd be great."

Tifa shoved him off the bed and laughed, "Cid, you're terrible!"

He got up and smiled at her. "Yeah, well, it was worth a try."

"You're starting to sound like Reno," Tifa said jokingly.

Cid scowled. "Now that was a low blow."

Tifa laughed and just looked at him. "It's late."

"I know, you're probably tired." Cid looked over at his baby still lying asleep on the bed. "I hate to wake him, mind keeping him there in the bed with you?"

"No, that's fine." Tifa went over and sat next to the baby. "Are you staying? My couch is available."

"Sure," Cid sighed, actually feeling too tired to walk back to his room. He made his way to the couch and laid down. "Goodnight."

Vincent awoke sometime in the night, realizing that his throat felt extraordinarily dry and he was hungry. Whatever they were giving him through his feeding tube wasn't keeping him satisfied and the hunger pains that had started earlier in the evening were getting worse. Although he knew it would be hard for him to eat since he had little control over his jaw muscles, he could swallow and wanted to try desperately. Alone in the darkness, he began trying to sound out a word, hoping that by the time Tifa came by in the morning that he would be able to get his wish across. He wasn't thrilled with the first sounds that he managed to produce, as they were nothing like what he wanted to say but he continued to practice despite his initial disappointment.

When he saw Dr. Arlin arrive, Vincent knew that morning had come. It wasn't much later that Tifa arrived. She came to his side and smiled down at him. "Hey there."

He blinked and pulled off a respectable smile for her. Then, mustering all that he had, Vincent tried to speak to Tifa.

Surprised to hear any sort of sound out of him at all, Tifa hadn't been prepared and didn't catch what he had just tried to say. She leaned closer to him. "Vincent, are you trying to say something?"

He closed his eyes for a moment and tried again, this time making it a little clearer. "Food."

Tifa stood up straight and called over to Janice, "Dr. Arlin! He's talking!"

Janice made her way over and looked at Vincent. "What did he say, Tifa?"

"He just asked for food," Tifa replied excitedly.

The doctor continued to look at her patient. "You want to eat?"

Vincent blinked at her and again said, "Food."

"You're not able to eat solid food until you show me you can chew right, but if you're not above Tifa here feeding you things that are easy to swallow, I'll allow it," Janice told him, crossing her arms over her chest. She couldn't believe that he was actually trying to communicate vocally after having his breathing tube out for only a day.

Vincent smiled widely, pleased that his request had gotten across. He turned his eyes to Tifa, his pride in the moment showing.

"All right, Tifa," Janice locked gazes with her, "I want you to go into town and go get some things for him to eat. Only food that doesn't require chewing like hot cereals, applesauce, puddings, that sort of thing. Once you have that, you can start feeding him, but only tiny bites at a time. Make sure he doesn't choke, okay?"

Tifa was excited to have a mission and readily agreed. "I'll go get some stuff right now."

"If you can get him to eat and get enough in him to make me happy, I'll consider pulling his feeding tube." Janice looked at Tifa over the top of her glasses. "Is that a deal?"

"You bet!" Tifa clasped her hands together before her chest and then turned and ran from the infirmary.

Tifa walked around the grocery store searching for things that Vincent could eat in his current state. The job wasn't too easy however, as Vincent tended to be a picky eater and she knew that some of the things that the doctor had recommended wouldn't fly. After a long hunt, she managed to fill her basket with things that she figured would be acceptable.

On her way up to the registers, Tifa walked through the bakery department. As she started to pass the display of birthday cakes, she immediately remembered the conversation that she'd had with Cid the night before. Knowing that she just had to do something even though it was a few months late, she examined the cakes trying to find one that wasn't too childish for the forty-year-old man. A wide grin broke across her lips when she found one that had clearly been made for a little boy, but it had a plane on it and Tifa knew that this was the one. She picked it up and placed it in her basket.

With her burden of groceries, Tifa headed back to the base. She stopped into the hanger before going below. Inside, she found Brad sitting at his workbench drinking a beer. Tifa set her bags down on the table and looked at him.

He took another swig from his bottle before addressing her. "Morning, Tifa."

"Hey." She pulled up a stool and sat beside him. "I was wondering if you could help me with something?"

"Sure little lady, what ya' need?" Brad asked.

"Well, I sort of forgot Cid's birthday in February and I've decided that I'm going to do something now." Tifa folded her hands on her lap. "Do you have any idea what he would have wanted?"

Brad knit his brow and became thoughtful. "Hmm, let me think here. How old is the son of a bitch?"

Tifa hung her head. "He turned forty."

"Wow, so it was a big one, huh?"

"Yeah, that's why I feel so bad for missing it. I wish he would have said something, but he didn't." Tifa's disappointment in herself was clear.

"Well, you've had a lot on your mind and he probably didn't mention it because if I know Cid, he was _hoping_ that everyone would forget," Brad chuckled to himself.

"That's what I figured." Tifa looked at the groceries next to her. "Anyway, I figured we could do something for him tonight and since you're his friend I wanted you to be in on it."

Brad smiled. "Sure, anything that promises to embarrass the bastard has my vote. What do you have in mind?"

"Well, I was thinking that we could take him out to dinner. He really seems to like that Italian place up in town. I already got him a cake, too." Tifa pointed to a bag lying on its side, which held it.

"Okay, what time do you want to do this?" Brad took another drink.

"I don't know, probably around seven would be good I guess." Tifa was pleased that Brad was going along. Next to her, she knew that he was Cid's closest friend. "So, any ideas on a present for him?"

"Actually, yeah." Brad tossed his empty bottle into a trashcan. "He was bemoaning the fact that his jacket is getting really old and torn up. He's had that damn thing since he was working for Shin Ra, you know."

"Would he actually wear a new jacket? I mean, he seems pretty attached to that old blue thing," Tifa sighed.

"If it was from you, I guarantee that he'd wear it." Brad winked at her. "Anything that you or Jin would give him he'd gladly use."

Tifa remembered that Jin had left on the airship earlier, but she would have liked her to be around for this. "Speaking of Jin, I guess she's gone right now, huh?"

"They were just dropping a team off. They might just be back in time. I know some of the airship crew as well as Jin would like to come for this," Brad said.

"Really?" Tifa grew excited. "I would love for all of them to come along!"

"Well, like I said, they should be back by then. When they land, I can clue them in if you'd like." Brad knew that the airship crew loved a good party.

"That would be great." Tifa got back up and picked up her bags. "I'll call the restaurant and make sure they've got room." She started to walk out but turned back to face Brad. "What are you going to get him?"

Brad pointed at the chopper. "Actually, he's been drooling over the new altimeter I got for my bird there. I think he'd really like one for his piece of shit plane."

Tifa laughed. There was something amusing about the way the two pilots constantly bagged on each other's crafts. "That's cool. Well, I'll see you tonight then!"

Tifa returned to the infirmary with the things that she'd gotten for Vincent. She'd stopped by the cafeteria and picked up some spoons and bowls and had everything she needed for getting to the task of feeding her husband.

When she entered the room, she was shocked to see Vincent actually turn his head to look at her. Before now, he hadn't been able to move his neck. He smiled at her.

She sat at his side. "You're surprising me everyday, you know."

Again, the corner of his mouth pulled up into a grin. He still had a lot of practicing to do at night before he would dare to say anything more than he had earlier to Tifa. Still full of pride, he wasn't going to talk in front of anyone until he thought he could at least do a reasonable job of it.

"Okay, well, I've gotten you a bunch of things." She rummaged through the bag, coming up with what she thought he'd like the most. "You still like this tapioca stuff, right?"

Vincent was amused. Although he'd always been fond of tapioca pudding, for some reason it grossed Tifa out and she wouldn't touch the stuff. He managed a slight nod.

Tifa's eyes went wide. The rate at which he seemed to be getting better now was pleasing her. "Okay then, let's try this."

She pulled the foil off of the top of the cup and grabbed one of the spoons. Carefully she got a little of the pudding and then held it out to him.

Vincent opened his mouth, anxious to finally have something to eat. He took what she gave him and managed to swallow it without much trouble.

"Perfect." Tifa felt good about this and continued to feed him until he'd not only finished the cup of pudding, but the other three cups of it that she'd bought. When those were gone, she shook her head and laughed. "Looks like I'm going to have to go to the store again if you're going to eat that much at a time."

_Well, I haven't eaten in over a month,_ he thought to himself as he stared at her.

She raised an eyebrow, almost hearing his thoughts. "Yeah, I guess you would be pretty hungry for something real. That stuff they put through your feeding tube doesn't look all that great. You heard what the doctor said though, if you can eat, she'll get that tube out and then the only thing you'll have to worry about is your I.V. line and, uh…" She motioned down toward his groin.

The fact that he had a urinary catheter placed had gone by without his notice, as he still had no feeling in that part of his body. For this he was thankful. Still, he was a little embarrassed that she'd brought it up and he felt his cheeks go red.

Tifa saw his color change and immediately knew that she'd made him feel awkward. He had been suffering a lot of indignities during these last few weeks and the last thing he needed right now was her bringing up any of them. "Well, soon enough you won't have to worry about any of it." She opted to change subjects fast. "Hey, we forgot Cid's birthday."

He just stared at her. _He_ hadn't forgotten Cid's birthday at all because he'd never known when it was in the first place.

"Okay, I forgot." Tifa smiled to herself knowing that even if Vincent had been conscious at the time, he could have cared less. "Anyway, I've decided that we're going to have a little get together for him tonight in town. I'll probably leave here around five so that I can get him a present before going, if that's okay with you."

Vincent was well aware of how very much Tifa needed to get out of the infirmary and do something to distract her from him for a while and was grateful that she had this party to attend. He pulled off another nod for her.

"Okay, well I'm going to go tell the doctor that you ate and then the therapist should be here pretty soon," Tifa said while getting up from the bed.

Vincent watched her retreat and was overwhelmingly thankful that she was around for him during all of this. Even though he'd decided that he wasn't going to try to talk until he felt prepared, he felt words form in his throat anyway.

Tifa heard him attempt to say something and turned back to him. "Vincent?"

With as much effort as he had ever put into anything in his life, he spoke, "…love you."

Her eyes immediately brimmed with tears and she flew back to his side, sliding her arms around him. She kissed him, pleased to realize that he could now reciprocate such an action. After a few moments, she pulled back a little and looked into his eyes. "I love you, too, Vincent."

Tifa stayed with Vincent throughout the day, feeding him when he asked and when the physical therapist came she helped him, too. Finally, five o'clock arrived and she kissed Vincent goodbye and left for Cid's party.

She walked through the streets of the town, looking for a place to get Cid a new jacket. Eventually she happened upon a men's clothing store and went in. The clerk immediately came to her side. "Can I help you, ma'am?"

Tifa bristled a bit at being called 'ma'am', as she really didn't feel like she was old enough to warrant it, even though she was a good ten years older than the clerk. Nonetheless, she forced a smile for him. "Well, I'm looking for a new jacket for a friend."

"We've got just about any style you could want. Do you have something in mind?" he asked, leading her to the back of the store where the coats were.

"Yeah, like one of those bomber type jackets would be good," Tifa replied.

"One of those guys that fancies himself a pilot, huh?" the clerk laughed while going to the rack that had what she was looking for.

She smiled with pride. "Actually, he _is_ a pilot."

The young man raised his eyebrows, suddenly feeling a little silly about his comment. "Oh, that's cool. Well, are you looking for leather or something else?"

Tifa saw one that caught her eye and pulled it from the rack. "This one's pretty nice."

"That's lambskin. Just about the softest thing you can get." The clerk was pleased with her choice, it was just about the most expensive coat they had in the store and if she bought it, he would score a huge commission. "That is a very nice piece."

Tifa pulled the hanger out of it and held it up. It was a bomber jacket like she had wanted, and was a dark chocolate brown. She ran a hand over the leather finding it to be just as supple as the clerk had said. Tifa knew that Cid would look _really_ good in it. "This is great."

"What size do you need?" he asked, crossing his arms over his chest, happy that this sale was going to be so easy.

Tifa thought for a moment. She knew that with Cid's broad shoulders he would probably need something roomy. "Maybe an extra large?"

He nodded and then looked at the tag hanging from the jacket she was holding. "Looks like you're in luck."

"Good." Tifa considered the coat for a second longer, wishing that she could get Vincent to wear something like it but knew he never would. "I'll take it."

The clerk beamed. "It's six hundred gil. Will that be cash or charge?"

Tifa swallowed hard, not having bothered to look at the price. Momentarily she wavered about spending so much on a jacket but then she told herself that money was no object. She was, after all, a millionaire thanks to Vincent. "Cash, and can you wrap it?"

"I most certainly can." The clerk eagerly took the coat from her and headed toward the registers.

With her present in her arms, she went to the restaurant. Brad had told her earlier that he was going to bring Cid when it was time so that everyone else could get to the restaurant before hand. She entered and walked up to the hostess. "Hi, I'm here for the Highwind party."

"Okay, follow me," she said, leading Tifa to the banquet room.

Tifa did as requested and as they went, she asked, "I'm the one that called earlier and arranged this."

She stopped and looked back at Tifa. "So you're the one paying for this, then?"

Tifa nodded, bracing herself for the bad news. "Yeah, how much?"

"Well, it's twenty gil a plate and you're expecting how many people?"

Tifa swallowed hard. This was getting expensive, fast. "T… twenty-eight…"

"That's going to be around four-hundred gil, with a fifteen percent gratuity added, of course," the hostess said casually.

Tifa smiled weakly. "Of course."

"When you're ready, just come see me and we'll get it taken care of." She pointed through the entry to the banquet room. "Your guests are in there."

Tifa knew that Vincent wouldn't be all that thrilled when he learned that she had dropped over a thousand gil for Cid's birthday but then again, she truly felt that Cid had earned it. She figured that if she told Vincent when she got back that at least he wouldn't physically be able to go after Cid and by the time he was able to several weeks down the road that he would be over it.

Inside, Tifa found the crew to the airship. They greeted her and added her present to the pile of gifts that had now amassed. Tifa searched through the herd of people until she found Jin.

The mechanic was sitting alone in a corner, not socializing with the rest of the crew, as they didn't much care for her. At once Tifa felt bad for her and sat at her side. "Hey Jin, I'm really glad you could make it."

She gave Tifa a sidelong glance, keeping her arms folded over her chest. "Yeah, sure."

Tifa had talked to Jin a few times, and was used to the cold exterior she generally showed. After being friends with Cid for so long, she was more or less used to this sort of behavior and it didn't bother her. "It's six forty-five. He should be getting here soon."

"Yup."

Tifa shook her head, bound and determined to get through Jin's shell if it killed her. "You know, Cid _really_ likes you. I'm glad that you're there for him."

Jin unfolded her arms and turned to face Tifa. "He seems to like you, too."

Tifa dropped her gaze, feeling like Jin was looking right through her. Jin's tone was betraying something. "Jin?"

"What?" she asked narrowing her eyes.

"Do you not like me?" Tifa asked, starting to feel a little hurt. She had hoped that with Cid not around that she would maybe open up to her a little.

Jin scowled for a second and moved her eyes to scan over the crowd amassed. "Let's get away from these idiots for a minute, okay?"

"Sure." Tifa got up and followed Jin outside.

Once in the open, Jin's expression softened a little. "I'm sorry, I find it really hard to be anything but annoyed around those guys."

Tifa nodded, knowing that Jin had a hard time getting along with the majority of the crew. "I can understand."

Jin frowned and looked down at the ground. "Okay, look, I like you just fine Tifa. You're reasonably intelligent and someone who I can actually carry on a conversation with. I'm not going to lie, though. I've not had a problem with Cid being around you so much, but after last night, I started to wonder if maybe he's too hung up on you to really get anywhere with me."

Tifa's mind spun. She realized that Jin didn't know why Cid hadn't been able to perform the night before. How she was going to discuss this with Jin without letting her know that Cid had come to her afterward to discuss this very thing she didn't know. "How so?"

Jin was too embarrassed to come right out and admit the pilot's episode of impotence the night before and didn't really figure that Tifa needed that sort of detail. "He just finally admitted that we're a couple the other day but he won't, you know, I mean… aw hell."

Tifa watched as Jin fell apart before her. At a loss for what to do, she stepped forward and put a hand on Jin's shoulder. "Okay, look, I talked to Cid last night."

Jin looked up and cocked an eyebrow, immediately curious as to what he may have told Tifa. "And?"

"It's not that he doesn't want to do _things_ with you, it's that last night he _couldn't._ It's got nothing to do with me, either." Part of Tifa felt that it wasn't her place to be discussing this with Jin but then again she knew that for Cid's sake she had to, as there was no way that the pilot would ever be able to have this conversation himself. "It's about Shera. You know, his baby was conceived on his last birthday and that's been on his mind a lot since his real birthday in February. Even though Shera's gone, he sort of feels like doing things with you is cheating on her. He knows that isn't the case in his mind, but his heart's really trying to hold him back. He really does want to be with you, very badly. Trust me, if it was about me and he had any sort of interest in me he would have tried something by now and he never has. I don't know what he has or hasn't said to you but I know Cid and I can tell you that the man is in love with you."

Jin just stood there staring at her. Knowing that the two of them had spent the night together many times, she was aware that if anything were going on between Cid and Tifa that certainly something would have happened already. She hadn't known about the circumstances surrounding the baby's creation and she suddenly realized that Cid probably on some level was afraid to have sex. "Do you think… do you think that part of him is scared to do it since his wife died giving birth?"

Tifa hadn't ever thought of it that way. "Wow, you might be right. Maybe he's feeling guilty about that. I suppose having your wife die like that might just make you too afraid to do it anymore for fear that it could happen again."

Jin's face suddenly showed terrible sadness. "Well, he doesn't have to worry about that with me, but I never told him that."

"What do you mean?" Tifa asked.

"I had cancer a few years back." Jin's shoulders slumped. "I was completely cured, but the treatment I had to go through left me sterile."

"I'm sorry, I had no idea." Tifa suddenly felt very badly for the woman before her.

"I never told him," Jin sighed, "I didn't want him to think me any less of a woman."

"Well, I think now might be a good time to tell him, Jin." Tifa let her hand fall away from her shoulder. "I mean, it might allay his fear and it is something you should probably tell him at some point."

Jin smiled. "You're right. Hell, I never thought that anything positive could come out of what I went through but if this turns out to make him feel better, then I guess it's okay."

They heard someone coming up behind them and they turned to find Reno walking toward them. He stopped at Tifa's side and draped an arm around her shoulders. "Hey, I thought this was supposed to be a surprise party."

"It is, Reno." Tifa smiled at him.

Reno looked at his watch. "Well, it ain't gonna be much of a surprise if he gets here and finds you guys standing out here."

Tifa had almost forgotten what time it was. "Oh man, we better get in there!"

Cid and Brad had been working in the hanger all day and when it came time to get Cid to the party, Brad had just asked if he felt like going out. Cid had grudgingly agreed, only going at all because he was sick of the food at the base. He gave passing thought to going to the infirmary to get Tifa, since he had already missed having dinner with her the night before, but Brad had insisted that they just go on their own. He packed up his son and headed out with the chopper pilot.

Brad led Cid to the restaurant. Upon entering, Brad went up to the hostess and whispered, "We're here for the Highwind party. I brought the birthday boy."

She looked over, spotting Cid standing with his arms crossed and smiled back at Brad. "Follow me."

She led them to the banquet room. When Cid and Brad walked in, everyone gathered yelled the obligatory, "Surprise!"

Cid instantly turned red, realizing that he'd walked right into this. "You've got to be kidding me…"

Brad clapped him on the back. "No old man, this is for you. Go get drunk."

Cid shook his head and went forward, being greeted by everyone. He found Tifa standing with Jin. "Tifa, are you responsible for this?"

She blushed as she took the baby from him. "Are you mad?"

His momentary angry facade failed him and he smiled. "No, I appreciate the thought." He then turned his attention to Jin, suddenly feeling embarrassed for what had happened the night before. "Hey…"

Jin could see how uncomfortable he had become upon seeing her and she couldn't help but go to him and throw her arms around him. "Hey yourself."

He remained in her embrace for a few moments and then dared to kiss her, until he realized that the crewmembers to the airship had all stopped what they were doing upon seeing the pilot and the mechanic together. Cid pulled away and scowled at everyone. "Mind your own fucking business."

They were soon served dinner and everyone managed to get fairly drunk while they were at it. Once the food was gone, Tifa passed the baby off to Jin and then went and got the birthday cake. It took her several minutes to get the forty candles she's shoved into it lit, but once that was done she walked over to Cid with it. She set it down before him.

Cid looked at the thing and then turned to Tifa with an eyebrow cocked. "What in the hell makes you think that someone who smoked for twenty-three years could blow out this sort of forest fire?"

Tifa laughed and poked him in the shoulder. "Well, you either blow it out or the sprinkler system is going to go off."

Cid rolled his eyes and gave it his best shot. It took him four tries to get all of the candles out.

After the cake was finished off, all of the presents were brought over and piled around Cid. His first thought on seeing all the gifts was if he was going to be able to carry this much crap back to the base. Despite his concerns, he quickly got to the task of opening the packages before him. When he got to the altimeter that Brad had gotten him he had seemed genuinely pleased. The present he got from Jin was a new watch and again, he seemed more than happy with it, even giving her another kiss in front of all the crewmembers despite their catcalls. The last present he opened was from Tifa. As he pulled off the wrapping paper he caught the scent of leather and became intrigued. He tore open the box and pulled out the jacket, his eyes growing wide. "Tifa… you shouldn't have…"

She became a little embarrassed, realizing that she had gotten him the most expensive gift. "Oh Cid, you need it and deserve it for everything you've done."

Cid knew that the coat in his hands was very expensive. He'd looked at one not unlike it before but hadn't gotten it because it was so pricey. "I don't know what to say, it's really nice."

Tifa smiled as she watched him turn to Jin and show her. The mechanic reached out and stroked the leather, giving Cid a look of approval.

The party went on for several hours but finally broke up when the crewmembers from the airship all started to feel their exhaustion from having been up since midnight. People slowly began to trickle back to the base, eventually leaving Jin and Cid alone. Tifa had left much earlier in order to get the baby back the to base and asleep.

Cid put his presents into a single box and put on his new coat before starting the walk back to the base with Jin at his side. They went slowly, feeling a tension between them that hadn't existed prior to last night.

Cid finally broke the silence. "Hey, I'm really sorry about last night."

Jin, having had the prior discussion with Tifa, wondered about how to go about discussing this. "It's okay, I understand."

"I want you to know that I really wanted to," Cid felt his cheeks flush, "but it wasn't in my control."

She slid her arm around his waist. "Look, I don't want you to feel bad about it. I can't blame you after what you've been through."

He looked over at her for a moment, but didn't say anything.

"I was thinking about it earlier," Jin said, omitting the part where Tifa had been involved, "and I started to wonder if maybe there's a part of you that's worried about something happening again, like what happened to Shera?"

Cid stopped dead in his tracks and faced her. The fact that she had just nailed the entire problem on the head stunned him. Despite his attempt to cover his true fear with thoughts of disloyalty to Shera, she had seen right through it. The thought of getting another woman pregnant to possibly suffer the same fate as his late wife had been in the back of his mind since the first time he'd gone out with Jin. "You… you figured it out, huh?"

Jin smiled, pleased with her insight. "Like I said, I was thinking about it earlier and that was the one thing that I figured you would feel out of control about. And if I've learned anything from you, it's that you're only scared of what you can't be in charge of."

"God damn, that's pretty fucking insightful." Cid was amazed at how well she had already figured him out. Usually people couldn't read him that well and not even Tifa had managed to get that deep inside his head before.

Jin dropped her gaze to the ground. "Well, if that was the real problem, you don't have to worry about it anymore."

Cid knit his brow. "What do you mean?"

She sighed, "I never told you, but I had cancer about five years ago."

"Holy shit, really?" Cid felt a sweat break. "You're okay though, right?"

She smiled. "Yeah, I'm fine now. They cured me but I did have to have a hysterectomy so there's no way I will ever have a baby."

Cid hastily set down the box he had been carrying and then threw his arms around Jin, pulling her close. "I had no idea, I'm really sorry. Why didn't you tell me?"

She shrugged. "It's not something I've made a point of bringing up generally. It's something I've learned to live with but it's kind of the reason I've pushed men away as a general rule. I figured that if I didn't have a boyfriend that it wouldn't matter than I'd lost the ability to have kids. That way, I wouldn't ever have to face the fact that I couldn't have a baby, when the truth has always been that I wanted to. When I met you though, I couldn't help myself but want to be with you. When I watched how you were with your son, I got afraid that you might want more kids someday and knowing that I couldn't do that, I thought it might cost any possible relationship with you. That's why I never brought it up."

Cid kissed the top of her head, keeping her within his arms. "Jin, I'm too old to be having any other kids. Hell, I didn't set out to have the one I've got. Don't get me wrong, I love him more than anything else in the whole God damned Universe, but one is enough. The fact that I don't ever have to worry about you getting pregnant and suffering any possible consequences is a huge weight off my shoulders."

Jin let herself cry against him. From the moment she had met his small son, she had wanted to be a mother to him. Cid and the baby were all she could have ever hoped for and now that she had told him about her physical condition and he had accepted it, she couldn't hold back her emotions anymore. "Cid, I'm going to admit something else to you."

He held her out at arm's length and looked into her eyes.

"I know it's only been a few months, but…" her voice failed her and she started shaking.

When Cid felt her begin to tremble, he grew concerned. "What is it?"

"I've fallen in love with you." She couldn't bring herself to look into his eyes, fearing that this would be too much for him and scare him away.

Cid realized that he had been holding his breath and exhaled. He wiped the tears from her cheeks. He knew that this time, he was going to do things right. Having lost Shera after always having taken her for granted, he had learned the hard way that he needed to be honest about his feelings. "Jin, I know I've let you down by going so slow with this relationship but I am ready to get on with things. If we're getting everything out in the open then I'm going to admit something as well."

She finally looked up into his eyes, fearing rejection.

He fought to get the words out. "Damn it woman, I'm in love with you, too."

Jin was ecstatic to hear this from him and found herself kissing him again.

Cid didn't care that they were out in the middle of town and allowed his lips to linger against hers until he realized something was happening. He pulled back, his expression turning to a smirk. "Uh…"

"What?" she asked.

"I think we should go back, fast," Cid said quietly.


	66. 202 Wishes Granted

Guilt's Cost: Part 202

Wishes Granted

By Kristen Gupton-Williams

Tifa got up with the baby around six in the morning. She'd gotten him fed and changed before stepping out into the corridor to look for Cid. Tifa started to walk toward Cid's room when she heard him call from behind her.

"Hey Tifa, looking for me?"

She spun with the baby in her arms. There he was, strolling toward her. He was wearing the jacket she'd gotten him, and was walking with his hands shoved into his pockets. Tifa noticed the swagger in his step that had been missing since Shera's death. His cocky air was back and Tifa couldn't help but notice that he was more like his old self than she'd witnessed in a long time. "Cid?"

He got to her and put an arm around her shoulders, pulling her to him before giving her a firm kiss on the cheek. "Kid give you any trouble?"

Tifa smiled at him and handed him the baby. "Nope."

Cid accepted his child hugged him to his chest. "How you doing little fella?"

Tifa had to ask the obvious. "Where's Jin?"

"Airship had to leave again. They took off at five this morning." Cid ran his free hand through his hair. "I've just been strolling around since seeing Jin off."

Tifa finally understood what was going on. "You saw her off this morning? As in you were with her all night?"

Cid flushed red and looked off down the hall. "Now Tifa, what kind of a guy would I be if I went around detailing what I may or may not have done with my woman last night?"

Tifa squealed and pushed him. "You _did_!"

He continued to stare off into the distance and just shrugged.

"I can't believe it, this is great." Tifa was in some strange way relieved.

"Let's go get some breakfast and then go see Sue, okay?" Cid said while grabbing her hand and starting down the hall.

Within a week, Vincent was speaking well enough to carry on conversations again. Everyday he would feel more and more of his body and it wasn't long before he felt able to sit up. Luckily, the physical therapy that he'd been receiving had allowed him to build enough strength to do so. All of the tubes and assorted lines he had been hooked up to were removed and Vincent was more than relieved.

Tifa went in one morning to find Vincent sitting on the edge of his bed with his legs dangling over the side. "Vincent! You could fall sitting like that!"

He looked up at her and cocked an eyebrow. "I'm not going to fall off the bed, Tifa. I'd like to try getting up."

She ran to him and put her hands on his shoulders. "No way, not yet! At least wait until the therapist is here, Vincent. You know that if you go down that I can't pick you back up."

He looked genuinely annoyed as he had grown sick of being confined to bed, now that he could move more or less. His upper body had made very good progress and he was able to move from the waist up with little trouble, but the therapist hadn't thought that Vincent possessed enough strength in his legs yet to support his weight. "I don't feel like waiting that long. You know as well as I do that he's not going to be here for another six hours. I want to get up and I want to take a God damned shower. Sponge baths aren't cutting it."

"Get it through your head, Vincent," Tifa said back, frustrated at his recent crabbiness although she knew it was just coming from his boredom, "I can't help you if you fall. You don't really just expect to jump out of that bed and start walking, do you?"

That was exactly what he was hoping, whether it was possible or not. He resolved however, that the truth was the truth and Tifa couldn't help him if he did have a problem. "Where is Cid?"

"Vincent, honestly!" Tifa shook her head and folded her arms. "You know that you don't really want him to have to help drag you around. Besides, he's off on a little day trip with the baby and Jin."

He growled and then threw himself back down onto his side, pulling his legs back up on the bed. He felt like if he had to spend five more minutes in the infirmary that he would lose his mind.

Tifa stood there and watched him pout. She did really feel bad for his present level of frustration. "Okay, wait here. I'll go see if that guy Kyle is up yet or not."

Vincent just continued to frown, although he was pleased that Tifa was going to at least put out the effort to look for the male nurse. He watched her step out, only to return a while later with the young man at her side.

Kyle came over to his bed and examined him. "Tifa tells me that you think you need to get up?"

Vincent nodded, despite the fact he was still lying on his side. He had come to appreciate Kyle not only from the time his cybernetic body had failed and he had tended to him, but during this recovery as well. At least all of his indignities that he had been subjected to had all been with this one nurse. If Vincent had needed to be helped by more people than just one he would have shriveled up and died. "I want a shower."

Kyle frowned for a second. "The shower here in the infirmary isn't working right now, so I don't know what to tell you."

"There's a perfectly good shower back in my room," Vincent said back, his tone not one of happiness.

"The showers in the rooms do have ledges to sit on so I guess that would be okay, but I'll need to go get a wheelchair so we can get you there," the nurse replied, looking around to see if he could spot one.

"No," Vincent huffed while struggling to sit back up and once more throw his legs over the edge of the bed, "I want to _walk_."

Kyle looked over his shoulder at Tifa. "He hasn't walked yet though, right?"

Tifa shook her head and rolled her eyes. "No, he hasn't but he's bound and determined that he's going to today."

The nurse shrugged, knowing very well by now that Vincent was, above all else, a unbearably stubborn man and so chose to give in. He went over and allowed Vincent to drape an arm around his shoulders before helping Vincent stand for the first time.

Tifa stared as she watched Vincent rise from the bed. Once he was up, she couldn't help but notice something. "Vincent?"

He looked over at her, concentrating on keeping his balance even though he clung to Kyle heavily for support. "Yeah?"

Tifa came closer to him and looked him up and down as he stood there in his tee shirt and boxers. "You're… you're smaller."

Vincent became more than irritated with her observation but the truth was that the original cybernetic legs along with the second body that Hojo had given him had both added a good three inches to his original height. "I'm still taller than you."

Tifa immediately saw that she had struck a chord with him and backed off. He clearly wasn't in the mood to deal with anything for the time being. "Sorry."

Suddenly, Vincent's legs gave out from beneath him and he started to fall but Kyle was able to hold onto him. The nurse looked into Vincent's eyes. "I don't think you're ready for this."

Now Vincent was a man with a mission. There was no way on God's green Earth that he was giving up and getting back into the bed. "With you on one side and Tifa on the other, I know that I can make it to our room."

Tifa quickly got to his other side and let him put an arm around her shoulders for fear that if she didn't, he would fall and hurt himself. "Are you sure you can do this?"

He looked down into her eyes and managed the first smile he'd pulled off all day. "Tifa, I know I can."

They went slowly, Vincent struggling to make each step but as he had promised he kept going and after about fifteen minutes, they reached the door to their room. Tifa opened it and they went it and headed for the bathroom.

Once inside, Vincent pulled his arm from Kyle and relied exclusively on Tifa for support. "Okay, I'm fine from here, Kyle."

The male nurse crossed his arms but didn't leave right away. "Vincent, you still need to get undressed and into the shower."

"I'll be fine, it's only three steps into the shower." Vincent took his free hand and grasped onto the sink for support.

Kyle still didn't move. "Tifa? What do you want me to do?"

Before she had a chance to answer, Vincent spoke up. From the expression that overtook his face it looked as though Vincent was about to break out into tears. "Please, I only want Tifa with me, okay?"

One last time, the nurse looked over at Tifa, searching for her approval.

Tifa was at a loss for what to do. She knew that Vincent was too heavy for her to handle on her own if he got into trouble but on the same token, she could plainly see how upset he was becoming and didn't want him to feel any worse. "If there's a problem, I'll come and get you, Kyle."

"All right, but don't say I didn't warn you," he said while turning and heading toward the door. "I'll be in the infirmary if you need me."

"Okay," Tifa replied as he left. She then found herself alone with Vincent. "What do you want to do?"

He was beginning to shake terribly from his exertion and he knew that he needed to sit down soon. "Open the shower. I can sit on the ledge in there and then I'll get undressed."

Tifa reached out with her free arm and pulled open the shower door as requested and then she helped Vincent get in and sit.

Once he was sitting, he leaned forward, panting for breath. The short walk here had taken a lot more out of him than he had anticipated. He knew that at this point that he wouldn't be able to do much more than just sit there and let the water run over him once it was turned on.

Tifa could feel his exhaustion and knew that he was going to need more help than he may have wanted. "If you want, I can get in with you and help you out."

As frustrated as he was with not being able to do anything for himself, Vincent knew he couldn't refuse if this was going to work. "Actually, I think I'd like that."

"Let's get you undressed then," Tifa said as she stepped into the shower and knelt before him. She pulled off his shirt and then managed to get off his boxers. She hadn't seen him naked since his surgery and she found herself staring.

Vincent suddenly felt self-conscious as she looked at him, since it was like being unclothed before her for the first time again. He made the pathetic gesture to try and hide himself with his hands.

Tifa snapped out of her state and blushed. "You don't have anything to be ashamed of, Vincent. In fact, I'm pleasantly surprised."

His eyes went wide and an awkward grin came to his lips. "Oh?"

She smiled back and gave him a wink. "You bet."

The ego boost she's just given him instantly snapped him out of the horrible mood that he'd been suffering for the last several days.

Tifa could see the immediate improvement in his attitude and she stood up. She quickly shed her clothing knowing that it was pointless to try and bathe him with them on. With that done, she reached back and turned on the water. Initially it came out cold and she did her best to block the icy shower from Vincent even though it made her squeal and cringe as it ran down her back.

Vincent laughed at her, becoming much more relaxed with the situation. Tifa soon stepped to the side and let the now warm water begin to run over Vincent. He closed his eyes and just reveled in the sensation. He had missed the little things like this while bound to the mechanical parts that Hojo had given him. Everything felt so much more intense now that he was again in his own body.

"Well, let's get you clean," Tifa said as she took up a bottle of shampoo and poured some into her hand. Vincent's hair was now several inches long and she got to the task of washing it.

He continued to just sit, enjoying her closeness and gentle handling of him. "Sorry about being such a pain in the ass lately."

She rinsed the last of the shampoo from his hair and smiled. "It's okay, I know you were just frustrated. Anyone would be after being stuck in that bed for almost five months."

Again he watched as she turned to pick up the soap. With that in hand, she knelt before him once more, knowing that it would be easier to wash him while on his own level. She lathered up his arms, chest, and neck, doing as good a job as possible. She rinsed these parts and then locked gazes with him, holding up the soap to see if he wanted to take it.

Vincent knew what she was wondering and he donned a smirk. "You were doing just fine, Tifa. I don't mind."

She giggled and again turned red. It had been so long since they had been able to be with each other like this that it was almost like the first time. She soaped up her hands and got to the task of washing his lower body.

It didn't take long for Vincent to realize that his body was apparently willing to cooperate with the thoughts that were starting to go through his mind.

Tifa also noticed his growing state of arousal as she washed the last of the soap away. Now she was able to truly appreciate what sort of physical specimen Vincent was. "Nope, nothing to be ashamed of at all."

Vincent smiled at her as she still knelt before him. He cocked an eyebrow wondering if she would do what he hoped.

Tifa caught his expression and knew what was on his mind. It was something that she'd never done for him before and she was a little embarrassed.

Vincent managed to laugh a little at himself for the situation and gave her a way out. "You don't have to, it's okay."

She pulled him forward for a kiss while letting her other hand toy with him. Soon she lowered herself a little and took him into her mouth.

Vincent gasped, ecstatic that she was willing. He let his head rest against the back wall of the shower, trying to keep the experience going as long as possible. As Tifa continued to work at him, Vincent realized that there was something that he wanted to do much more. He gently reached down and placed his hands on her shoulders, pushing her back.

Tifa looked up to see if something was wrong, but saw Vincent looking down at her with an expression of overwhelming desperation. "What is it?"

"Let's go to the bed," he whispered.

She stood up and turned off the water. Tifa helped Vincent up and with him hanging on her heavily for support, they made the short walk to the bed.

They hadn't bothered to dry off and both lay down on the bed, soaked. Vincent rolled onto his back and looked over at her. "Uh, I'm not really strong enough yet to do much."

"Don't worry about it." Tifa kissed him again while getting on top of him. She soon had him writhing beneath her as she proceeded slowly.

A little while later they were both pleased to realize that Vincent's body worked in absolutely every way. Even though Tifa didn't know it, it was at that moment that her only remaining wish was granted.


	67. 203 Epilogue

Guilt's Cost: Part 203

Epilogue

By Kristen Gupton-Williams

Tifa woke up as the morning light came streaming in through the hospital window. She looked around the room, her eyes eventually landing upon Vincent. He was already awake and gazing back at her. He got up from the chair that he'd spent the night in and approached her bedside.

She smiled at him. "Good morning."

"How are you feeling?" he asked, taking a seat upon the edge of her bed.

"Really sore, but I'll live," Tifa replied. As her mind cleared from its sleepy haze, she felt a spike of anxiety. "Where is he?"

Vincent motioned toward the door. "The nurse took him a little while ago. They were just going to run some tests, nothing big. He's okay."

Immediately, Tifa felt relief. Although her baby was only about twelve hours old, she had already become insanely attached to him. They had managed to get to the hospital in Kalm only about an hour before she gave birth. The drive into town had taken nearly an hour and a half, as the country home they had purchased was very isolated.

The nurse returned at that moment with the baby. She came right over and handed it to Tifa. "He's a big one."

Tifa smiled as she stroked the small wisp of black hair that graced the top of her baby's head. "Don't I know it."

"I'll be back in a little bit so we can get the birth certificate filled out," the nurse said as she left the room.

Vincent bent over to get a look at his son. "You know, it's exactly nine months today."

Tifa smiled, thinking about the first day that Vincent had walked; the same day this child had been conceived. "Yeah, I thought about that last night. You work fast."

He laughed to himself, "It would seem so."

In those nine months, Vincent had recovered almost completely. He still had a little trouble with his fine motor skills, but he still continued to improve although at a slower rate than before. Nonetheless, he had never regretted going through the misery of recovery. Seeing Tifa now with the baby she had long awaited in her arms made it all worth while.

Tifa looked up from the infant for a moment. "Weird that you've got a granddaughter that's seven months older than than your youngest kid, huh?"

"Like I said before, you didn't actually expect anything in your life to be normal did you?" Vincent reached out and gently touched the sleeping newborn's cheek. "So, are we settled on his name then?"

Tifa nodded. "Yes, definitely. Looks like your family name gets to continue too, since legally you're still a Vatatsi."

Vincent raised his eyebrows. The last name Valentine hadn't meant anything to him, since it was just an assigned handle from Shin Ra. "Well, it was up to me to pass it on, I guess."

"So, Aaron Tseng Vatatsi it is," Tifa sighed, glad that Vincent had agreed to this name without any argument. "Tseng would have been proud of you."

Vincent smiled faintly. "I hope so. Not that I'm trying to change the subject, but Cid should have Jaras and Jeanine here in a few hours. I'll leave in a while to go pick them up from the airport and then bring them here. They're all going to stay at the hotel across the street until we head back to the house tomorrow, assuming of course that you feel up to leaving the hospital."

Tifa was eager to see her guests and couldn't wait to get home with the baby. "I'll be ready. When are Angel and Reno supposed to get here?"

"Their little girl has an appointment on Monday to get some vaccines I guess, so they said they'd probably come visit on Wednesday." Vincent thought of his granddaughter for a moment. She had been born with bright red hair and it hadn't changed at all as she had started to grow. "I wonder what Little Cid is going to think of Dana?"

"I'm sure the two of them will be into everything. Good thing we baby proofed the house, huh?" Tifa held the baby out to Vincent.

He took the infant, feeling much more comfortable with babies after holding Angel and Reno's daughter many times. He was surprised at how much bigger his son was than Dana had been at birth. "Tifa?"

She looked into Vincent's coffee colored eyes. "Yeah?"

"I'm really proud of you," he reached out and placed a hand against his wife's cheek, "for everything."

The End 

Well, that's that I guess. I'll be going back through this monster to fix a few little things so any more updates on this story will just be editing changes.

I'm reworking the bulk of this into an original piece. If you are interested in knowing if I write anything else or put something in print (I'm still editing my novel), you can send me your email address. I will only use it to give alerts to my writing. thank everyone who stuck with it and read this beast. It was a lot of fun.

Guilt's Cost, started 6/1998 finished 4/29/2005


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